I am reaching out to all esp, second time moms in the hope that you can give me some sound advice out of your past experience of raising a new born in this part of the world...

This is our first baby and though I don' t work my husband has a very demanding job that requires him to be out of the house 4 days a week and even when he is here he rarely comes home before 10:00 or so...
I am not unduly worried about taking care of the baby but I am just wondering how will I cope with a new born (worse when he/she starts crawling around and hardly sleeps) with no hubby coming back to relieve me even in the evening...Won' t I simply burn out cause in effect I am going to be single handedly responsible for a baby 24/7 without any help or relief even for a few hours from anyone else...

I don' t have a mother-in-law and my mother can' t be here for more than a few weeks after my delivery as my sister-in-law back home too is due to deliver around the same time...

Do you think I am getting unneccessarily worried?? Please offer me some suggestions as to how I can cope with the situation when it arises.

Shall await you replies. Asmi replied. Hello Dreamymommy,

Raising a child is not one man' s job. so you and your hubby needs to adjust a lot.

some simple tips -
1. Buy already chopped vegetables, or at least keep 2/3 vegetables cut and ready on Sunday for the next week.
2. Ask your husband to work from 10 to whatever time. so in the mornings you can get the household things done.
3. Cook for both times in the morning. As the baby grows this will also include its frsh food.
4. get a maid help for some tasks like cleaning and rotis (if u r in India) else get ready to eat rotis. It may also be possible to request some Indian neighbor to provide tiffin for evening meals for 3 months at whatever cost.
5. Also buy baby stoppers to keep baby in one area.

If u can manage ur activities with some help from market and ur hubby, you will be fine.

And donn worry even hubbys change after baby. If raising kids was so difficult I am sure many people would have opted out. So donn worry at all some adjustments and you 3 will be fine. kamal replied. hai,

i can understand the problem as iam going through this phase. my husband stays four months out of country and three months with uss.
so it was difficult to be with little chaild all alone thats why i hired full time maid.
its is really helpful.
u can try the same
ck replied. I can understand your worries. When the baby is small you will be good with your mom' s help and your motherhood will guide you. Just enjoy the time you spend with your baby, baby' s first year is the sweetest of all...

Until the baby starts crawling/walking around, you' ll just do fine. But after that you definitely need a break at least in the evenings. I guess your husband will realize it once the baby is here and will plan accordingly. After the baby is born, ask him to plan to change his hours/job atleast before the first b' day. It is good for the baby too, he/she needs dad in life.

Don' t worry too much now, things will fall in place automatically. Good Luck to you. mimitra replied. hi,
I think you are worried too much abt the difficulties u are going to face,see the good part of it,like the happiness wen u see ur kid smile or cooes at u.Everybody goes through it,be calm & relaxed in all situations. Aparna replied. Hi Dreamymommy,

I can imagine your tention as we tend to plan our future. But my advice would be, don' t worry from now on.
The first 6weeks is the main time that you need to take care of yourself. You need that time to cope up from delivery. So, take rest whenever baby sleeps (don' t worry abt gaining weight, you can lose that when your baby starts crawling and walking). Eat healthy food. Good thing abt first couple of months is: baby sleeps very often and wakes up for milk and diaper change. You do have to get used to waking up every two hrs (which will be very hard as you will be tired and need that rest and not getting continious sleep). But you will get used to that schedule as you have to get up in last month to pee-pee.
In my case, when I had my son: my in-laws were here but they had to go after 6weeks with emergency back at home. I ended up taking care of my kid and we did good. So, stop worrying from now. Once you see the baby, your maternal insticts will come out naturally and you will do good.