Hi,
I've been reading ur responses for sometime now as and when I visit this site. So, thought of getting some suggestions frm u as u seem to be very friendly and helping.
I had to discontinue my pregnancy in 8th month due to medical reasons. My baby had severe IUGR and was in a very bad situation. I surfed all over the net to have some knowledge and now I'm confident tht maybe i can now do my best to prevent it frm happening again if it recurs.
My doctor did every test possible to find out the reason but didn't find any. And i try to find the reason still even after 2 yrs after it happened. One thing which comes to my mind now is tht i used to cry a lot. I just was not happy. Though my hubby was caring, and was behaving normally, I used to feel tht no one is caring for me. Even a small thing would hurt me immensely and i would cry endlessly. IS pregnany depression a problem to the foetus? If so wht should I do to be happy in my next preganany. v r planning for a baby now and I fear tht in my next preganany, it would be a nighmare and I'll feel miserable thinking abt my previous loss and fearing of it.. It will come naturally no matter how much I control myself.
Wht should i do to be keep pregnancy depression at bay.

Hopw u'll reply soon.

Thanks,
Karuna Archie replied. Dear Karuna,
Half of the time we suffer to know the cause and rest half is to sort out the cause. In your case you know you get depressed. Partly depression is hormonal but unnecessary worry can lead to a lot many disastorous situations. I am not here to offer you what to do to avoid stress, it's very personal and no one can advise, you will have to work on that by yourself. However, I can tell you and you will reassure by yourself that each pregnancy is different, one should not relate two pregnancies so that be for good reason or bad reason. YOur body hormones and functions is not the same where it was in previous pregnancy and so is the fetus is different.

It's easier said than done though grieving on pregnancy loss for 2 years sound incredible. One has to be practical, ask yourself what are the advantages of depression? What do you gain by crying for two years? Did you bring back your lost baby? Did you co-operate by depressing yourself? I am sure all answers are NO. If they are negative answers then why to worry, why to get depressed and why to cry?
I had miscarriage(s) and can take liberty to say this hard words therefore.

One should keep healthy, stress free and enjoy pregnancy. If you promise yourself to do as I said in previous line then you are ready to try for another baby otherwise my frank opinion would be think over again and again as to are you ready for baby. You seem to harbor worries for minor or no reasons. This can take a big toll. Remember your baby can feel everything and your hormones get affected which in otherwords are very important while pregnant and while trying to conceive.

With a caring and understanding husband it should have taken less time for you to get over. If you choose to go ahead and ttc, I would urge not to stress in this pregnancy and treat new pregnancy as really new one as this fetus will have his/her own life and rights, you don't want to ruin that by comparing with your lost unborn fetus.

Archie