Relationships  Discussion Forum

I see many posts here and I really like the support of others who are in the going through similar situations. I will not say my situation is unique..labalababal… Lot of immigrants might be facing this, it just that I am too emotional. I am a working lady. My husband is a nice person not so caring but he is nice in many ways. We have a daughter 3yr old and we are expecting another one this summer. The problem is with parents well I should say it’s more with my mom and my brother. To start with my problem, big problem is with my brother. He has 2kids as well 4yr and 2yr. He and his wife both are working and making decent living (more than enough). My parents are working too, my dad got retired and my mom is about to retire end of Aug this year. He has a live in nanny to help them at house as well. The problem is he is too much involves in my parents decisions. He doesn’t like any attention that is give to me. When I was pregnant with my daughter he just had his son and his in-laws came to help them with delivery and he wanted my parents to come afterwards to help with his child care. I was pregnant at that time and my parents were more inclined to go and take care his kid than helping me with my pregnancy. It was really shocking for me. I mean they don’t have 2-3 daughter that they have gone through that delivery process where they are not interested to help me. My husband is really nice to my parents too that they can’t complaint on anything. They came to US without telling me that they were coming and they came to my place first almost 2&1/2 months ealier than my due date. My brother scheduled a flight right next day soon after they landed. They just don’t disagree on my brother’s decisions and encourage him. Whatever happened is past and I am over with the all the things they did to me. This pregnancy, I asked my mom if she can come to help me with, she said she is getting retired and can’t come and stay for long. After her retirement she said she can come and stay for long time like 4-6months. Then my brother and his family visited India past month. They left their nanny with us for 2&1/2 weeks. As soon as they landed my parents words started changing again. Initially they said why don’t you keep the nanny and they will leave kids here and they will come back to US. My husband and I don’t have that much money to support someone else. We told that to them, then they started creating more problems. They said they are leaving kids in India and my parents will come and drop the kids and they come after my delivery and stay for a month with my brother. It just made me more angry, my parents have no emotion towards my kid. As a grand parents my mom should have been with my delivery and help me with my new born. She says she will bring her son’s kids and stay with her son for a month and go back that is before her retirement. I asked the same thing and now they don’t want to talk to me. I am very upset and angry. They hurt me badly and say You shouldn’t feel any pain. I can’t imagine as a mother you don’t want to be with your child when they need the most. My brother has a live nanny, who is a big help and they can afford a nanny and she wants to come and help them when I need her the most. In this whole story, my brother lives 3hr drive from our place. My husband went and brought nanny when they were leaving to India, we told that time only that we can’t drop her as our schedule doesn’t let us do that. They keep on insisting us on dropping the nanny which we can’t do absolutely. When I told them again we can’t they started saying I don’t care them. My brother is back from India never even bothered to call me to tell we reached safely. After you hurt others there is no minimum courtesy to talk to the other person to get out of it. They did the same thing with my daughter and now again. I just don’t feel like talking to them for the rest of my life. sk replied. I cant understand a single word what you are trying to say. what you have written is so confusing and while reading I keep on lossing trach what where what happened and got confussed myself. I am sure even others members on the board will say same. write clearly