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Joint Family:To Jyoti and Ritika
2006-09-19
Name: Rajeev



Gone thru your posts i know the situation is a very difficult one.Iam married initially i found that even my mother had differnces with my wife and she was trying to be bossy at that time i did not invovle my self much but slowly i found my wife was losing her confidence,i love her dearly so i had to take a stand i told my wife to start ignoring my mothers remarks slowly and very subtely that irritated my mother more but she coulnt do much because now my wife was growing strong mentally,i joined yoga classes with her it makes adifference.try to involve your husbands more and more in your life,share all your experiences,see ultimately you cannot sacrifice the precious life god has given you for people who purposely try to cause harm to you my suggestion is that gain strength amongst yourself have more and more faith in god than anyone else.look more after your life.i know things can become difficult and me being a husband is like giving remarks from the other side but still i would say be more strong mentally ,ignore and live life to its full.All the best and take care.
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2006-09-19
#1
Anonymous Name: Ritika
Subject:  Re:



Hi Rajeev,

I think the key in your case was that your wife felt heartened by your support...and a major part of her regaining her confidence was the suport you gave her..

I can empathize with this because most of my in-law problems are tolerable because my husband gives me the strength and the support I need.

I agree with Jyoti that the husbands can make a difference in this whole scenario by talking to their parents once in a while and telling them that they do not like hearing things against their wives...believe it or not, but when sons make it clear that parents are crossing the line and he is not liking it, the mils and the fils do back off (to a certain extent)...it is never easy to tell your parents that they need to change their behavior, but a part of being an adult is that you stand up for what is right and just...and not get scared of talking back to someone just because they are your parents...the trade off is that the son also might get to hear some of the insults (like joru ka gulam or humne sari zindagi isiliye paal pos ke bada kiya etc)that the dil's hear ever so much..but all of this is short lived as the mil will never want to have a fight with her dear son for ever...

Also, in my previous mail, I was talking about cases where the husbands also do not support their wives and it gets unbearable for them...that is the worse kind of situation anybody can be in...the feeling of helplessness can be very depressing...

I liked your idea about yoga btw...that is a good suggestion for strengthening your mind against negative forces and thoughts...

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