Name: Sunaina Gupta
Hello friends...
I'm amongst one of those DIL's whose being mentally harassed by in-laws. Pls help me come out of it. I know it's going to be a long story but pls go thru it once.
Actually i've been married for 3 3/4 years and initially for a year and a half i and my hubby were in poland. After 4mnths of our marriage my MIL came to stay with us. I was happy that she came to visit us and she was also too good with me. She stayed with us for some time and then came back to India. My husband use to spend most of the time with her. I use to be busy in household work and both of them use to talk very slowly inside the room but i didn't mind all that.His actions or his behaviour use to hurt me sometimes but i thought that's all my illusions. My husband's behaviour slowly started changing after she left. He started asking me to call my parents in front of him and many more things of the sort. He himself use to call his parents every single day without thinking of the expense. Though we hardly use to go out due to his busy nature of the job but then it was like we use to go most of the time for just groceries. I'm not saying that he didn't love me but still it was not at all of the kind that v were newly married. He used to scold me for small-small things. He even pushed me hard when once an argument broke between us but somehow controlled himself from hitting.
Then later on we moved back to India and stayed for few mnths with my inlaws. Then i started to come to know what was the reality. Actually my MIL had put into my husband's brain to keep his wife under his full control and not let me talk to my parents much. I came to know that my husband use to call them from his office also cause she knew every petty things that occured between me and my hubby when we were in poland. Then my inlaws one day sat together and scolded me for all the mistakes i did ( though i was shocked to listen to that cause i had not done all that for which they were blaming me) and said that it was a fault that i entered their family and i'm not the type they had thought. Then i came to know that actually my MIL has played a very diplomatic role and has brainwashed my husband and my FIL.
Now, the situation is that my husband is in full control of his parents, tells them every single thing that occurs between us and in our house and even what i've said in a good way, they feel that i'm saying this in a bad manner. They just twists the meaning of what i've said. These people blames me for the things i haven't done. My MIL makes all false stories against me (like i don't take care of her and her food or medicines or headache etc etc.) and tells to my hubby and FIL. Then my FIL will again call a meeting and will scold me and say all rubbish for me and even my parents. He every time says that my parents r not good, interferes in our lives though it's them who is interfering in our lives.
He uses all the abusive language for me and my parents. And i have no other alternative except to listen to and then cry later. I can't even talk to my parents a lot though my hubby calls his parents atleast 3-4 times a day.
Worse part happened when i got pregnant and my husband didn't even take care of me just b'coz he feels that i don't take care of his parents and their feelings. The time when i wanted him most, he was never by my side. Then for delivery i went to my inlaws place and then also my MIL showed everybody that she is taking too much care of me but i know the real truth. The situation worsened after delivery when my MIL didn't let me even take rest at all and did every thing to torture me. I use to cry every single day and when i told my husband he didn't rely me and said that his parents did a lot for me which noone else will do. I use to wear warm clothes but My FIL and MIL said such bad things to me as to what does i look like wearing those clothes and my instincts r bad and too-too much.
Anyways i came back with the baby but still the situation is that my husband does not really listens to me or takes care of my feelings. For him i'm the most unreliable person. He can just trust his parents. I don't do things in a proper manner. Though i know that i'm a very good homemaker and a very good person (both as a wife and a DIL and in every manner).
Now i have started loosing confidence and i'm under too much of mental pain. Sometimes i even feel like running away or commiting suicide. Pls help me i have a small baby boy. Whenever i try to resist they suppress me more by saying that i'm arguing with them or i just try to overcome my mistakes by speaking. Pls suggest me what to do. I'm totally disheartened. Noone is with me in this family not even the one for whom i left my family , my parents and everyone. Pls do help.