Relationships  Discussion Forum

hello everyone , i am new to this board . But as i read the message s , i gave me an inspiration to share my problem . my marriage is 1.5 years old. i came to newyork just after 4 days of my marriage .
When our marriage was fixed then his bhabhi came to my parents home also with my inlaws . She also told me things at that time like she was very close to my husband . At that time i discussed it with my mummy but she told me not to worry and nothing serious about it so i simply ignored it .

Soon after my marriage , i found my husband having blind faith in his bhabhi and kept on appreciating her , whenever we went outside for visit . This was becoming frustrating for me so i told him clearly , what his bhabhi said to me at that time before marriage and i did not like that closeness and expect from him some place for me
soon after that he stopped all such thing and was very very good , nice , loving and caring for me . We lived very happily together .
Meanwhile i also tried my best to pull him towards me and got successful . at one time , he almost forgot his bhabhi in india .
his bhabhi and mother was having very much tensions between themselves before my marriage. but we visited india after 5 months of myt marriage then his bhabhi changed totally towards my MIL . She won My MIL . no doubt , now they both are together . but it happened against me. MY MIL started to be rude to me and comparing me from his bhabhi continuously in which i failed . as i arrived therr for the first time in condition of my pregnancy. i was not aware from anything while his bhabhi that is my SIL was fully aware of all the things . She Flattered my MIL very much in this period . and MIL is a fool .
after few days of stay in india and getting ignored by my MIL i came back from india and lived happily together with my husband till my delivery .
at my delivery My MIL came and she tortured me in every possibel way except beating . she encouraged my husband continuously to call his bhabhi , to mail her .She reminded him of his bhabhi just because of the reason that why am i happy with my husband . how could i dare to win his son. My MIl appreciated his bhabhi very much before him and continuously criticized me before him .While i was in last month of my pregnancy , i worked hard to make her happy but shewas not happy at all . she created very much tensions between me and my husband.
which are still alive .My husband did not say anything to his mother like most of the obedient sons and asked me to tolerate .
i tolerated it and since she left for india ,we were happy again besides the tensions created by his mother and afer soem days of that ,my SIL that is his bhabhi and bhayya came to visit
His bhabhi told me taht at her time also , my MIL tortured her but her devar(my husband) was very nice to her and he protected her very much
whenever she meets with me in alone, she tells me such stuff like my husband and she were very open with each other like friends .and my husband was very much nice to her .and my husband shared many things with her , which he did not share with me till this day
we are having fighting every day since then.
as now i feel myself being cheated. Because my husband never told me such stufff and always pretended to be loving with me . i feel him like a diplomat.
in this 1.5 year , he never shared anything of his family with me . he never told me about any member of his family , while i told him all about my family , my past .
i want to know the truth now . i don't want to rely my husband now . i feel like he was making me fool since that 1.5 years by being nice to em but when real time came , when my MIL was torturing me , he did not defend me wile he defended his bhabhi . so what the difference me and his bhabhi . while i was pregnant also
i am living here alone in NY .
i want to know your suggestios . help me please
i am losing love and trust for my husband . what should i do ?




Worried replied. Dear Ms. abc arora

Here is what I think is happening to your life. Your bhabhi is a very smart woman and she seems to be enjoying causing confusion between you and yopur husband. If you are smart enuff she will lay off........One very big piece of advice to you DO NOT let any 3rd person come between the 2 of you in your marriage! You will ruin your own marriage yourself! By believing in your bhabhi and not your husband you will make your bhabhi more confident in her ploys and she can do anything from there on! In all probability nothing has happened between the two of them and she is just imagining the whole closeness and making your life miserable in the process!

I fele your husband is a sweet guy and when he figured that you had a problem with him talking endlessly about his bhabhi he stopped and made an effort to come closer to you and comfort you! You should talk to him all that she has told you about the both of them and clarify with him and NOT the other way around! This way maybe your husband will also get to know that the woman he believed all along to be so sweet etc etc isn't exactly that!

All the best and let us know what you did!