Relationships  Discussion Forum

Hey guys
need some advise and help as well. my husband is Mama's boy. he has to do everything she says and we have to tell her everything we do. i can't say anything against them. my husband choses my MIL instead of me. they are his first preference. doesn't bother to ask me quest.
we are in usa and they are in India. still i feel they are living with us. he talks to her everyday for 45 min or so. and tells her everything and gets permission for everything. now my question is it's bothering me a lot. i cry sometimes. how do i deal with it?
lancer replied. just chill....rehne do inhe...kahan jayenge wapas tumhare paas hi aayenge..
Mamma's pet shank replied. Indian women is also mama's girl and made of the same material as the Indian man. She will be talking with her relatives all the time.

Many of these Indian women who complain about their MIL will behave in the same way to their own children when they get older.

working mom replied. Hi desi girl
I understand what you are going through and it is very hard to ignore. what I would suggest is do the same thing to your hubby. You call your mom and talk to her and pretend as if you are having a great time. try limiting your conversation with your husband for a day or two. Answer in yes and no terms only and don't get friendly but you don't have to be rude too. Let's see if he wonders why are behaving that way. If he asks then take this opportunity to explain to him what you are going through. Explain to him how you have changed your life for him, how you have left your parents...Marriage between a husband and wife is most successful when you understand each other and are each others friends in every situation. But be calm and do not engage in any fight even when you are making your point. Tell him how much you love him and want to be very happy with him. Try this. Hopefully something changes for you. soul replied. hi desi girl
i am going thru the similar situation where my husband is a 100% mama's boy. he is the only child.. and his parents live about 1 hr's drive from here. he works with them and see's her everyday. I would really like to be in your situation where you are far away from you il's. I dont know if you had an arranged marriage or a love one, or how long you have been married, but why don't you just get busy each time he speaks to his parents ? If it's a fixed time each day, just make yourself busy or go out or whatever, so that you are not around when he's talking. And stay cool - dont forget - no matter what - they are far away and you are near him. Try to build your relationship with your husband and make the most of being away from your IL's !!!! a DIL replied. Sorry to hear your story! I can fully understand what you are going through. I can feel every little thing that you mentioned because I myself am going through the same problem-my hubby talks to his parents daily,tell them every minute detail (which always cause problems for me). I am also tired of this daily drama. I love my hubby-but I can not tolerate this behavior. Had it been a general talk, I wouldn't have any obejctions, but majority of the time they only badmouth about me, my family, friends. And my hubby just listens to them ! This makes me mad. And this is the reason that many times I don't even believe my hubby. I ask him-how would he feel if my parents always criticize him & his family & I keep my mouth shut ? He doesn't seem to have any answer !

Now I just leave the room whenever he talks to his bossy mom-dad. I used to respect and like my MIL, but ever since she started filling my hubby's ears against me( she even made up some false stories- for which I will never forgive her),I don't like her anymore. Recently I came to know, that my MIL's MIL was badly treated by my MIL. This is another reason that I have developed bitter feelings for my MIL.

I feel like telling her -just look at yourself and then expect anything from me.

There is a saying-\";Follow what you preach\";- my MIL seems to fully believe in the \";preach\"; part and completely ignores the \";follow\"; part ! LOL !!!