Beauty & Grooming  Discussion Forum

My name is Parimala and from a Telugu speaking middle class orthodox family in Hyderabad. I am 23, have passed B.Sc. and working in an auto show room as a receptionist for the past two years. My parents have identified an engineer groom for me who is also from a similar orthodox middle class family and working in a reputed private firm. He is 26, very good looking, very well mannered. His parents are also down to earth and well mannered. The horoscope matches very well. They do not want any dowry and a simple marriage is acceptable. This is the sixth groom my parents have tried for me and they do not want to miss this family.

But the catch is this. The boy’s family had some severe problems about ten years ago. After being advised by their astrologer that the family will be better off with annual family tonsure at Tirupati and short hair, the family goes to Tirupati every June and all get tonsured. The females get their hair trimmed to nice boy cuts once in two months between tonsures. The boy’s two elder sisters began growing long hair only after they got married, one six years ago and the other four years ago. The remaining five continue the annual June family tonsure even today. The older sister’s in-laws allowed her to tonsure after her two children were born and she happily returned to biennial tonsure two years ago and boy cut in between.

We were aghast when the groom’s party came to meet us. The 78 year old granny, the boy’s 51 year old mom and the older sister were having neat barbershop boy cuts. They told all this and said that they expected the daughter in law to accept this practice whole-heartedly since short hair and annual tonsure have done good for the family. I am having a beautiful waist long braid. The family and the boy are very good but this requirement is unnerving me. My parents are pressing me to accept it happily since many middle class ladies are keeping short hair nowadays and there is nothing to be shy about it. Many ladies do get tonsured also on one pretext or the other. The older sister of the groom told me that it is a nice experience to have a tonsure and also a clipper cut in a barber shop and I should not miss it. And that is why she has returned to it even in her in-laws’ place. The show room boss does not mind my having a bald head or boy cut. Some of my friends and colleagues are pressing to accept while a few are pressurising to reject. I am at a loss. The groom’s parents have given time till 1st Jan to tell one way or the other.

If I accept, the marriage will be in March and within a week after that I and the groom will be Tirupati baldies and only after that we will have our first night. Again in June along with the family I will have to tonsure and after that a regular barber shop boy cut will be there. It will be good bye to long hair forever.

My question is: are tonsure and boy cuts really enjoyable as the groom's sister is making out? Is it worth to forego long hair for a marriage? What shall I do? pavi replied. hi pari i read ur post congrats for ur headshave please share ur experience with us lekha replied. hi parimala friday ur encougement completed and u said about ur this month headshave to ur fiance what he said and he give any suggestion to u and y u not update anything alex replied. congrats for ur headshave and encougementvery good u accepting ur parents decision going for headshave because of future u sacrific ur hair narayanan replied. Nie decesion u have taken parimala mam. Had tonsure after marriage and do regular boy cut with nape shave at barbershop.

Mam preethi have u done ur facial and armpit shave in barbershop .

so nice mam. u wont feel shy.

thanks. Lekha replied. Hi paraimalla congrats for ur decision
U going to put mottai during pongal holiday and after ur marrige if u put mottai on Jan u will get boycut length hair during ur marrige Parimala replied. Dear Thara
You say that "no need for clipercut or otherwise shave before ur marrige". Sorry dear. The decision stems from the requirement of the in-laws house. They have this annual tonsure and short hair policy and they require that the bride have short hair at marriage and bald at first night. And I am now happy at this requirement. So I will not be able to accept your advice.

Dear Amit
It will be a nice mottai for me on Jan 16th at Tpt. And I am eagerly looking forward to it. My fiancé and his parents want me in short boy cut hair at marriage.

Dear Preeti
I am sorry dear. Face shave is a no-no for us. Armpit shave - may be in private, not in a holy place like Tpt or in a public place like a barber shop. Thara replied. Hi pari I think u know to do clipercut during marrige 3 day after
Ur marrige u going to offer hair to god and if it is necessary u can cut small amount of hair no need for clipercut or otherwise shave before ur marrige Amit replied. What ur fiance wish wheather have to be in short hair or long hair in ur marriage what he has been like Amit replied. Hi parimala congratulations for u marrige and I have one doubt jan16 wheather u going mottai(tonsure) or boycut if it is boycut also u going to do thirupathi Preeti replied. Hi Parimala I read ur new post & really happy that u take a rite decision nw tel wat u think abt my 2nd advice abt ur facial shave & armpits shave in barbershop along with ur inlaws.

I think u shud start tht with ur family & ask ur mom 1st tht whn in Jan ur whole family went 2 tirupati thn thr u & ur mom also do facial shave & along with armpits shave also so u also enjoys tht. Plz rply 4 tht post also dear I'm waiting for ur rply Preeti replied. Hi Parimala I just advice u 2 accept tht alliance & just happily tonsured ur head & thn also enjoy's barbershop haircut also. I also advice u tht whn u became thr part of d family u introduce a new thing which is head shave in barbershop 4 all family members along with thr facial shave & armpits shave 4 more enjoyment. Radika replied. Don't worry if u have no problem about ur hair then go for headshave otherwise if not able to sacrifice ur hair then say no Lekha replied. I think so u can shave ur head because u was getting good alliance u cannot loss just for hair Amit replied. Ya headshave will be good feel.if ur r confused what ur parent Decided accept that