Beauty & Grooming  Discussion Forum

Hi, i belong to a family of telugu and tamil brahmins. I am 24 years old, and i have not undergone upanayanam yet despite several attempts of my family to do it forcibly in the past. Now they are really hell bent on doing it as soon as possible, and they are forcing me to get it done with all the rituals including mottai with kudumi/pilaka, and ear piercing, and also with the condition that i have to keep the pilaka for at least 6 months. All this is impossible for me since i need to attend various classes, and i am also a part time teacher, i cannot think of facing my students with a pilaka and shaved head and earrings. If anyone has convinced your parents to drop the rituals, or if anyone has undergone the rituals, please post your experience Srinivasan M replied. Sorry for the delayed response. I did end up going through the function, and I must say it was very embarrassing indeed. I went through all traditional procedures like head shave with hair left in 5 places, ear piercing etc. To get tonsured in public was humiliating. Earlier, till 6 months, I had to compulsorily get tonsured every week. Now, out of respect for the ceremony, I get my head shaved myself for any occasions and still keep a pilaka. I also still have my earrings. I've stopped eating non veg, and have been forcibly made to start eating curd rice, which I really hated. Shiva replied. Hi Srini, try to convince them for not going for head shave. Just tell them for ready for the ceremony but cannot go for an headshave at this age. I think they should understand keeping your age in mind. NN replied. All parents are different and if someone had convinced their parents to drop the rituals that does not mean you can convince your parents in the same way too. And there is nothing wrong in following all your rituals and traditions. Ashna replied. Everything depends on what you choose to believe and not. It does't matter what rituals or traditions you follow if your heart is pure and you are a good human being. If you are good, good things will happen to you. Nitesh replied. There is nothing to be ashamed of in that. Everyone has to follow the rituals because everyone believes in them. Your students will have to do it in some point or the other too and if you want you can cover you head. Neel replied. Hello Srinivasan,
So you had missed in your child hood and so your parents are forcing you to do now then what you have decided to do.Your post has been posted past years back what you done can you share if it is possible. Merry replied. hello Srinivasan M,
It is part of every brahmin family and you need to follow it also.you must not try to skip it and you must follow your traditions and customs.It must be done in your childhood only but it has been delayed.I wish good luck for you. Amit replied. Hello Srinivasan,
Since you are being to brahmin family you need to follow all the rituals.All such things must be happened in your childhood only. I can understand that would be very blushing for you to move in front of all but you have to follow no option for you. chinmayee replied. being in brahmin family we also had done upanaya of my brother with all the rituals like headshve with small choti, threading and ear piercing and he was wearing all orange cloths and mede him to take bath in front of all aunts and mom of course with the cloths infact in our all aunts bathed him by themselves. there is nothing wrong. you will also enjoy it. you ca gain confidence ad if some one ask you or laugh at you make them understand about the rituals. sanjana replied. Dear Srinivasan,

While i have not undergone the ceremony(being a girl so obviously not), we performed upanayanam on my younger brother. We made sure every ritual was included in his upanayanam.I can give a first hand account of the experience

And Offcourse rituals of the tonsure and the subsequent keeping of the kudimi, as well as the piercing of the boys ears and adorning it with earrings were done. My younger brother Rahul was very afraid of these 2 rituals. He was obviously feeling scared to be bald and have a kudimi emerging from behind his head. Also the painful ear piercing would leave him with earrings dangling from his ear lobe.
We managed to convince him to undergo the rituals with a lot of cajoling and a bit of force :). We had made him grow his hair long, so that a proper kudimi could be kept after his head was shaven clean. On his big day things went smoothly (his head became smooth as silk,bald :), the kudimi was braided and reached mid shoulder length. Then he was made to sit on my lap and his ears were pierced and traditional chunky earrings were inserted into his freshly pierced ear lobes and screwed tightly. They dangled and swung delightfully from his newly bored ears and they did look good him, completing his new look.
We went one step beyond and actually got his nose pierced as well (though this is not generally required in upanayanam). He looked precious with the nose ring.
Initially he felt shy and it was painful for him, but after the pain of the piercings subsided, he actually enjoyed his new look. After sometime he started wearing my earrings and mom's nose rings !
He liked his new hairdo as well, i made sure he was regularly shaved to sport the clean bald look.And the kudimi required almost daily oiling and braiding.
We made him keep the kudimi for 3 years, post which his head was shorn again and the kudimi removed. The earrings and nose rings we wanted to keep on him. So when hair grew back on his head we gave him a very feminine bowl cut to go with his jewelry. After 5 years of the ceremony we finally removed his jewelry.