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Raising Children Topics..

You are here : home > Raising Children > Related Articles for Raising Children > Are you trying to Create a Superkid too?

Are you trying to Create a Superkid too?

The horrendous scene out there of industrious young women in the middle and upper middle classes, obsessed to create super-kids scares me. I am not trying here to be all knowing, but am speaking from not only first hand observation but a first hand experience of being a victim of the same scenario. I too am a mother of nine-year-old twin boys. It is indeed all too easy to fall a prey to this easy way out i.e. in order to fulfill the void housewives generally begin to feel as children start growing up, becoming more independent, quite a few women live their lives vicariously through their children. They will live only for the children. This leads to over-involvement in the children's activities, their studies etc. leading to a subtle masked competition between the mothers themselves, which could be hilarious if it was also not incredibly pathetic. 

However most importantly, I feel it affects the children's development and growth in an irreparable way. They lose their problem solving ability, their innate creativeness and the opportunity and the right to make mistakes in order to learn and grow further in a natural way, while their mothers bask in reflected glory of the unnatural light of their children. It is also to be realized that the children will grow up and leave the nest and the void will return. 

I feel it would be much more natural to let the children fend for themselves, while we accept their natural performance gracefully, (if it is the mother who is getting high grades in school through the child, does it really make any sense? ) I think we would all be leading fairer lives. The children will be able to shine in their own sun-shine and there can be nothing more beautiful and satisfying than that. 

" If you loved me, you'd be there for me
To help me do the things I want to do.
Your whole life wouldn't be only for me,
Nor would your efforts determine who I will be.

You would respect what I do well,
And share the joy I feel when I succeed,
Give me the encouragement I need,
And be my wings, not my protective shell.
I love you
mum, and I need you to be mine,

But I need too, to step outside into my own sunshine."

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mehta.8 years ago
are you trying to create a superkid too?
Ashutosh Nigam.8 years ago
i do agree with this article. parents doing school projects for child/writing the essay and forcing them to cram it are damaging and handicaping their children.
ritzadi.8 years ago
its just about exposing your child to everything that you can think of at her/his age and letting the kid decide whats/he works with my two year old!
padmapriya.8 years ago
i agree with the article to some extent its true but would like to say in this growing competitive world children do need their parents involvement than they ever did.the schools also has studies which the child cannot manage. the article would hold true in the childs initial years and gradually when they grow up it automatically reduces the child himself will say no to parents involvement
Hanna.8 years ago
each child should grow at his own pace and must be encouraged towards things that interest them. given the right guidance and feed back from parents they will do well. there is no such things as a super kid if you ask me...each child is super in their own unique way...they just need love, right exposure, and positive feed back from their parents each time they do something.
Mom Of a child.8 years ago
i partially agree with this article, but not wholly, to say the least :). the article seems to be written in a fit of emotion and despair and does not pinpoint what all things parents should do and what they should not.

what exactly is meant by the author where she says we are trying to raise superkids - is it helping with their homework, or doing the homework by themselves, is it taking them to organized activities like learning playing sports or is it forcing that they play 4 sports and excel in each. so on and so forth. for one parent it would seem normal to not let them learn anything in a structured manner. for another, it might be learning 3/4/5 things is normal because they feel their child is capable of handling it without stress.

therefore when you publish such artcles, request you to be more specific with examples instead of writing an overarching general feeling.
Aparna.8 years ago
i must say that the author has rightly delt with the issue of anxious mothers overpowering and stranding the childs innate talent.instead mothers can act like wings to bring out the true colours of the child.
tought well written i must say.
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