Most often parents tell lies to children to get things done their way.
But some lies can create negative impact on the emotional health of children.
Here is a list of some lies which parents must never tell their children.
Children have an unshakeable and complete trust on adults whom they look
up to. As they are very sensitive and innocent they are unable to comprehend
the complications of the real world which may force adults to lie. Whatever be
the motivation for uttering lies, it is a fact that there are some lies that
parents should never tell their kids.
â€śEverything is Fineâ€ť
There are incidents like the loss of a pet to an accident, demise of a
loved relative or some other life altering event which can severely frighten
children. Kids can also get scared after looking at the news on the television.
Many parents react by saying â€śeverything is fineâ€ť when in reality many things
have changed. This false sense of assurance strikes kids as a betrayal when
they soon understand that things are not going to be the same. Such kids will
be less inclined to believe their parents reassurances in the future. Instead
of giving false assurances say â€śthis is a bad time for you and it is okay for
you to express your negative feelingsâ€ť or â€śwe will handle this tough situation
â€śI Am Leaving Youâ€ť
I am leaving you are probably the most disastrous four words you can
utter to your child. What makes them worse are that they are a lie parents utter to coerce kids into
doing something. Not only do threats of abandonment scare a child it is also
unable to address the issue at hand. If your kid is behaving in an
inappropriate way do not say things like â€śI am going to leave you hereâ€ť.
Instead say â€śif you do not stop this behaviour there will be
consequencesâ€ť or â€śI am going to be very upset if you do not stop this behaviourâ€ť.
â€śThis is Not Going to Hurt
There are certain procedures like getting a tooth extracted or getting
an injection that are bound to be painful. So do not attempt to psychologically
protect your kids by saying â€śthis is not going to hurt at allâ€ť. Your child is
going to find out soon that things are going to hurt and they will not trust
you the next time you say something. Validate the fear and anxiety your kid is facing by
saying â€śI know you feel upsetâ€ť or â€śyou look scared and I can understand whyâ€ť.
If your kid is going to have a tooth extracted gently guide them through the
whole medical process.
â€śLying About Deathâ€ť
Lying about the death of a pet, relative, friend, family member etc is
absolutely not recommended. Do not say lies like â€śgrandma has gone to her auntâ€™s
place and she will be back in some monthsâ€ť. Some kids have unusually sharp
memories and they may question you after two months asking about Grandmaâ€™s
whereabouts. When they discover that she is not going to come back at all then
they will develop a poor opinion of the person who fabricated such a big lie. A
better approach is to let kids know that a person has died due to xyz reasons
and while death is a sad event it is a part of life.
â€śYou Are Superior to
While your kid is definitely the apple of your eye proclaiming that he
or she is the best person or performer in the world is not a good idea. Either
your kid will feel pressurized to ace every competition to keep up to your
expectations or will develop an inflated ego; both of which are not healthy.
Try expressing your love in a more moderate and restrained way.
While some lies told by parents are meant to soothe and reassure, some
are meant to coerce and inject fear into childrenâ€™s minds. Whatever is the
motivation stay away from the above mentioned lies if you want to ensure
the psychological health of your kids.
What kinds of lies parents must never tell their children? How does
telling lies affect children? What are the ways to avoid telling lies to
children? Discuss here.