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Raising Children Topics..

You are here : home > Raising Children > Behavioral Problems > Temper Tantrums > Comments

Comments:

Name: Riya
Country: India
I think it is very bad or worse when a baby is not given proper attention in a house. They might feel insecure and make it even worse to throw tantrums and shout. So, giving proper attention and lending ears for their demands might make the kid to understand the things and behave properly.

Name: Trupti
Country: India
My child is four years old now a days he started crying in school and does not want to go to school.He tells me to sit with him in school. He also now a days wants to purchase chocolates or something whenever we go out in shops. He at times screams loudly back and gives back answers and tries to beat us. He never responds to when he is called. Should i consult a child psychologist. if yes guide me for one in Ahmadabad.

Name: joanna
Country: France
My daughter used to be terribly defiant. she would have tantrums and was always seeking attention. Once she even threw herself down the stairs for attention. I tried the gentle approach, the strict approach, the friendly approach but she always seemed to be smarter than me and nothing worked! I think that you need to be democratic and talk lots. It worked with my daughter. I understand that you cannot completely treat them as adults, but communicating with respect definitely helps. Now my daughter is older and we have an absolutely wonderful relationship. It is possible to get help without seeing a counsellor. I used help via tantrums-in-toddlers.com for example. Good luck and peace to all parents.

Name: joanna
Country: France
My daughter used to be terribly defiant. she would have tantrums and was always seeking attention. Once she even threw herself down the stairs for attention. I tried the gentle approach, the strict approach, the friendly approach but she always seemed to be smarter than me and nothing worked! I think that you need to be democratic and talk lots. It worked with my daughter. I understand that you cannot completely treat them as adults, but communicating with respect definitely helps. Now my daughter is older and we have an absolutely wonderful relationship. It is possible to get help without seeing a counsellor. I used this. Good luck and peace to all parents.

Name: karina
Country: USA
i feel that this story is so true. a child needs to feel loved and needs attention, especially when a baby is born into the family.

Name: Uma
Country: India
many parents confuse anger with being firm. as long as a child realises that his tantrums wil not be tolerated because it is wrong, he/she can be corrected. but if anger is the dominant parental emotion, he learns to mimic that behaviour.

Name: Licia
Country: USA
i am a ssigned to care for a 6 year old boy with behavioral problems in a school setting. he throws temper tantrums and often refuses to do what is required of the others in his class.he does seem to have some neurological difficulties( such as not having a dominant hand and some clumsiness with his feet and poor impulse control, but i believe these to be minor. he is the only boy in the family and has a twin sister and an older sister. i think he may have been given whatever he wanted to keep him quiet and he really is very charming when he is good.i am working at school at not giving in to him, but spending time with him ( doing a favorite puzzle etc. when he folls a directive or controls himself for short periods of time. the school wants to mainstream him and i think it is possible, but the teacher seems resentful of the burden he poses and it seems that she may be tryin to have him removed from the class and put in with mentally handicapped kids. he is very intelligent and catches the work more quickly than the others. any suggestions?

Name: sandy
Country: USA
i have a foster son who is three. he throws fits, and tantrums when he does not get his way. the rage can last as long a 1/2 hour. what can i do to stop the rage, and calm him down?

Name: Amy
Country: USA
i thike a child should be talk to be for you make big decsions.

Name: mom
Country: USA
my first child is 18 years older than her sister and has no reason as does her sister to be jealous. nor do us, her parents, have reason to pick and choose making her feel insecure. my first child whom i have raised exactly as i am the second, was very different indeed. therefore maybe there needs to be more investigation to the genetic vs environmental factors.

Name: Neeta
Country: India
now a days working parents are busy in their everyday routine, so they have less time to spend on the child. so the child expects some attention of the parents which is difficult, then the child starts getting irritated. we have no time to answer their questions too. so to keep them quite normally, parents give them whatever the child likes. by doing so, the child gets an idea, of tantrums so they starts shouting, screaming etc. i think there is no way than giving them time, play with them for some time atleast and go to their level and understand their problems. this will help the parents to get rid of tantrums though the child is lonely..

Name: Amy S.
Country: USA
to sandy-usa: i find that redirection works very well at that age. if he's mad he can't have a cookie, offer to let him help make dinner. if he wants to go outside and can't, offer to color pictures with him. trying to avoid the conflict before it happens will help cut back in the number of episodes.

Name: Mommy
Country: USA
i think my 3 yr old daughter's behavior problems might be rooted in lack of attention from mom as i am a single, working mother. i agree with the article in that i need to make it very clear that throwing a tantrum isn't acceptable behavior, but i have no idea how to do that. if i yell, she yells back, if i send her to her room-she screams forever. if i ignore it, she only does it more. if i try to reason with her, she doesn't understand it when she's angry and quickly forgets it if i explain it to her after she calms down. i think that kids need a way to express feelings, just as adults do-but this is not an acceptable way. i've even talked to her about things that are ok, like using our words to say how we feel (respectfully). i just don't know how to make her understand (and actually do them) right and wrong ways of displaying feelings. any help or advise would be greatly appreciated!!

Name: Dee
Country: Southafrica
i have a 4 yr old boy. he has recently started being aggressive toward me when i don't give in to his whims and fancies. i fear i may have mimicked this aggessive behaviour when he refused to listen.can anyone with similar situaion suggest how i can get him to change without compromising my role as a parent.

Name: SBs Mom
Country: India
the author is very much wrong and high-handed in assuming this: "to be even more specific, it is a personality disorder that is learnt by the child due to wrong parental attitudes and unhealthy upbringing.". we have never given in to his behavior and have started him on time-out. but what can we do to stop this behavior before it progresses any further?

Name: Hope
Country: USA
i have a 3 year old son and me and his father are not together anymore and this little guy when he comes home from being with his dad and grandparents he throws a fit that can last up to 2 hours or longer i try everything that i can think of with him and he just screams i know that it is because when he is with his dad and his grandparents they give him whatever he wants and here he has to follow rules. i am running out of options i am not sure how to make this stop or whatelse i can do.

Name: RJ
Country: USA
have a 2 year old boy who pulls hair, bites, and pinches. have other children in house who do not do this, he get alot of attention. wants his way.

Name: Jie Musa
Country: Malaysia
i have a 2 1/2 year old boy who has behavioral problems like throwing a tantrum, things to his 8 month younger brother (arief) and bite him. before his litle brother was born he is very charming. he has a older brother 6 years old (aiman). his brother can except him as we always tell him to love his 2 1/2 (amir) year old brother. i am very shock that my amir now behaving very badly. he always screaming and yells back when i punished him. i don't know how to control him. he seems wanting attention just for him and gets angry if i hold arief. do anyone has ideas on how to tackle his bad behaviour?

Name: Katia
Country: belgium
i have a 19 month old that sceams so loud at night that he set off the alarm of the house one night. when we take him out of the crib to make sure he is ok he just runs around and plays in is room very upset though. he get hysterical. any suggestions? my six year old has never done that

Name: Riaz
Country: Southafrica
we have a 2 year old girl whothrows tantrums on a daily basis - always kicking up a fuss at feeding times etc. however we have noticed that when she is with her daymother - she's an absolute angel - eating her food eagerly etc - no fuss at all. at home we do not spoil her but give her all the necessary care and attention any child deserves. any suggestions as to where the priblem may lie?

Name: Jenny
Country: usa
i have a 2 year old daughter that throws lots of tantrums. she tries to hit me, but when she does i tell her firmly "no" and then she'll starts crying even more. all she can say is "no" to everything that i say to her. i when she has these tantrums i talk to her like always, in a calm voice, but it doesn't work. the sweetr that i talk to her, the worse she'll act with me. i get so frustrated sometimes, that i even get headaches. one day when she had a temper tantrum, i got so stressed that i clossed her in my room. her daddy was there, but he always ignores her. well i left her there crying for like 8 to ten minutes and when i came back to the room, she was still crying but she quickly hugged me and said "mami". once i carried her and said "hi" to her, she calmed down.for some reason that seemed to work. i think that the reason she's like that is because her grandma from her father's side spoils her too much and is always carrying her. i don't like that and she knows it. but when i'm not around i know she spoils her even more. i dont know what to do about that situation.

Name: Connie
Country: U.S.A.
i have a fourteen month old son that constantly runs around the apartment screaming at the top of his lungs, it doesn't matter what i do whether we go out to dinner, or grocery shopping he is just not happy. he hates having his diaper changed, being in a stroller, being in a shopping cart, and being in his car seat. he's fine as long as i let him run around but he doesn't walk well enough to let him do that in public. he's recently started head banging every time i tell him no he will crawl or walk over to a hard surface such as the linoleum or table and hit his head. i am having a hard time with the screaming he does, and if anyone has any advice that may help please do.

Name: Wyatts_momma
Country: usa
my son just turned one year old on feb 15th and he just started throwing temper tantrums when he is interrupted while playing,is being picked up, doesn't want what you give him, etc.. i have concluded that he is just frustrated because he hasn't the vocabulary to express himself and what he wants. he is a very smart and loving child and only has these temper bursts when he is told "no" and when he can't do or have what he wants or whne he wants something and we don't know what it is. i think it is him testing our parenting abilities as well and his limitations as a child. children are learning what they are and aren't able to do and what a parent will and will not tolerate. my son is very intelligent and other than the little (very quick and not lasting) bursts of whining and swatting he is a loving and calm child. i have taught him some sign language and he only uses one of the signs but he knows that when he uses it we respond accordingly and he doesn't yell or whine and he looks like he feels in control of what goes on around him. that is why i think it has a lot to do with a limited vocabulary and children who have not learned how to express themselves with words. does anyone have any experience with a child this young acting out when frustrated?

Name: maya
Country: Canada
i have a three year old girl, who just have had a 2 and a half hour long major tantrum. i am stay home mom, calm but firm, she is around kids a lot, her dad loves her, not many major problems around her. this is the forth day, that we had a really long, extremely loud tantrum. i thought that we are over this stage a long time ago (1.5 and 2.5 was a major tantrum period). she bit me, hit me, ... off course i told her, she can not do that, .. tried to ignore her, .. tried all the advises. at the end i was crying with her, than i talked to my husband, and he made me more relaxed about it,...it was a never ending tantrum. when she was 2and a half, she had tantrums most of the day. i start to worry, that it is more than emotions. today, she wanted something at the store, and i did not buy it to her. she knows that we always talk about the things we buy, and we never had a problem like this before.

Name: maya
Country: Canada
the author is clearly wrong about her/his views. my child is not spoiled in any level. all her life, she was raised up with choices and love, but not being spoiled. when we went to the store and she would pick up something i would be sitting in the store as long as she brings it back. if i say no, than it is no. i don't scream, or punish her, but i am firm about my views. she knows the rules, and follows them in general. she does not get sweets or whatch tv. what we do, is love her, laugh with her and joke with her a lot. but even i am carefull about the jokes, to make sure, she does not learn bad behaviour from that. i am a stay home mother, but she attands a half day montessori school since she was 2 years old. she is in general listening. so, the authors point about parental skills, and spoiled kids, is completely wrong. the sad thing is that parents that try to do their best can even get very sad and maybe even depressed about articles like this. i obvious thing is that the author was lucky with their child. but my friend's 2nd child was the one with the tantrums. another important thing is that when my child had tantrums at 2.5 they have found an infection in her body, but the doctors could not figure out what was the problem. so what about maybe the child is sick, and needs to see the doctor? what about stages, too much information around them? what about another child at daycare who is not behaving nice, and our child is sad and frustrated about this? (i think this is in my case, because she would do all the bad things when she has the tantrum as the child is doing at school - bites...)life is not that simple. the author should help, not make people feel even worst about all of it. i can clearly see that i am doing everything fine, because i am lucky and i have a lots of patience with my child, and because of this patience, i can have a piece of mind to see the whole picture, and know if i am doing something wrong, or things are happening because of other reasons...

Name: Kala
Country: U.S.A.
i have a three year old son the smallest things set him off or sometimes he will wake up froma deep sleep and just start screaming and shaking at the top of his lungs we don't know what to do for him you can try to talk to him and it just gets worse and louder and longer a short tantrum only lasts about an hour and a half a serious tantrum is usually over 2 hours easily does anyone have any ideas what could be causing my son to act this way the doctors say its just a phase he is going through that he will grow out of it. but i don't see him getting any better any time soon it's bee going on sence he was old enough to walk talk.

Name: Dr. Cauffman
Country: USA
i believe that the spoiled child thory is correct. also, the family could have gone along with the childs tantrums, giving in etc. because the child was already spoilt. this could have continued quite happily and the boy would have grown up spoilt, as he would have if his sister had never been born.

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