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You are here : home > Child Development > Related Articles for Child Development > My Tiny Terrorist

My Tiny Terrorist

Children are very moody.Parents have to deal with them with patience.

While leaders of the world convene to discuss terrorists like Saddam and Osama, I have my hands full with my own little terrorist at home. I have been following the 'war on terrorism' closely, hoping that it would give me some ideas on how to deal with the coercion, manipulation and guerilla warfare I face on a daily basis.

At first I tried to impose sanctions. "Kaavya, "I said sternly shaking a finger in front of her. "If you don't finish your khichdi, I won't give you any chocolates. No chocolates, no park in the evening."

I was met with a sudden burst of khichdi fire and a spoon of gooey stuff was lobbed with deadly accuracy on to my shirt."

"That's it. No more chocolates. Ever. Mummy is not going to talk to you." I marched off from the table to the sound of gleeful chortling. She was unmoved and continued to create modern art on her bib and the table.

It was my fault. How could someone with a 70-word vocabulary and barely 21 months of existence understand the implications of sanctions when many Presidents and Generals have failed to do so?

I decided to consult a veteran who I thought had several years of experience in the field. " Ma" I wailed on the phone. "She refuses to eat anything, makes a huge fuss for a bath and insists on being taken "Ta-ta" at 12 noon in the blazing hot sun. I don't have a minute to myself. She snatches the newspaper from my hand and demands that I instantly transform into a horse and take her for a ride."

"Heh, Heh," sniggered my mother gleefully. "When you were her age, I had to chase you around the table 10 times, 15 times, before you sat in one place for any meal. You used to throw your plate out of the window and once even hit Pushpa Aunty, who was walking below, with it. You used to insist on taking your four dolls, 2 teddy bears and one raggedy towel everywhere we went"

Something had to be done, and soon. A few days ago, I discovered that my terrorist had a huge arsenal of Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD) which could be instantly unleashed. Kaavya was trying to discover the secrets of GSM technology by banging my cell phone repeatedly on the floor. Time for a preemptive strike, I thought. I snatched it away from her before she could inflict any more damage.

Immediately she launched a chemical and biological offensive. Her eyes filled up with tears, her little puckered up face turned a fiery shade of red and the most ear-splitting screams rent the air. She threw herself at my legs and shrieked "Gimme - phone!" over and over again for 10 minutes leaving me shell-shocked and paralyzed.

I tried to find succor in my support group and gathered a coalition of willing mothers who had more experience than me. Meera, harassed victim of two notorious terrorists scoffed at my predicament. "This is nothing," she said. "Girls are so much more easier to handle. In spite of telling them about a hundred times, my boys were playing cricket in the house yesterday. The younger one hit a shot right into my glass cabinet and smashed most of my crystal into pieces." Now that's what I call bombardment. 

I realized that it could only get worse. I had to act now to prevent more devastating attacks in the future.

I consulted my Chief of Staff on the issue. He first advocated the 'iron hand in velvet glove' approach. "You have to show that you are the boss, or she'll just take you for granted."

"That's easy for you to say." I retorted.

"Well, you have done pretty well with me." he smiled.

"Humph! Try looking after her for one day. To think I gave up my career for this. My brain has atrophied after watching the Winnie the Pooh VCD for the forty seventh time and my stomach is protesting after a constant diet of leftover khichdi and mashed bananas."

"What are you going to do?"

"No more Nice Mom. I don't believe in this appeasement policy anymore.
Next time, I will follow the Powell doctrine. A good hard spanking is what she needs."

"We agreed that we wouldn't use force," said my husband.

"I know. But she is becoming too stubborn. Only Shock and Awe tactics can coerce her into submission. I refuse to be bullied by a two foot imp."

Just then, the two-foot imp scampered into the room and insisted on being lifted up. I held her against me, smelt that sweet Johnson's Baby powder smell and felt a little wet kiss on my face.  "Mummy, labboo," she crooned. " Time for a I love you too, baby," I smiled.

Once again, I had been disarmed.  My war against terrorism would have to wait.

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Asha.9 years ago
wonderful article.
simran.9 years ago
tht ws a wonderful article!!
every line was so well written!!
juss so gud!!!!!!!
Deepa.9 years ago
everything in it is so true. i couldnt agree with the author more. but i would suggest a realistic deadlines would work and have to stick to it then everything will workout.
rather than no more chocolates ever, no more chocaltes next few hours or next few days would do the trick atleast after few tries. i really enjoyed the article, it is very hillarious. thanks mother of varsha, 20 months
emma.9 years ago
classic, very well writen laughed the whole way through. you're a genius. thank you for making me feel like i'm not the only one going mad.
namita.9 years ago
hi niru,
call for a ceasefire..and take up writing :-)
priya.9 years ago
t'was wonderful ...well written and it the absolute truth ... was really wondering is "atul" the only one like this ... but ur article has made me understand it is really the age thats causing the trouble ..the terrible twos >>.my god am waiting to cross this stage .... it s absolutely hectic !!!! i swear ...
Mom of two.9 years ago
since i too have a terrorist of same age at home ( but with a limited vocabulary and more aresanal) i can fully understand what you are saying. very well written.
Riya Himangi.9 years ago
great one there .. couldn't help visualising yest. scene of : if u dont finish the toast- no picnic..:-)))
kirthi.9 years ago
beutiful article....itshows exactly how a mothers life moment u think u have such a precious baby and the other moment u just want her far away from u:)
Mishi.9 years ago
i have a two year old son who sometimes comes into the "tiny terrorist" category and sometimes "sweet somebody" category but both ways ..... kids are kids and we being mothers take it all .... brawls, tantrums, stubborn behaviour.....all anger, all resentment at trading motherhood for a lucrative job go puff with a single "4-toothed" smile and "mamma huggy & puchas". so enjoy it all while you can 'cos no one else can feel the way you do!!
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