You are here: Home > Message Boards > Love >  Extra-marital Affairs >Extra Marital Affair - Serious issue
Love  Discussion Forum
Extra-marital Affairs:Extra Marital Affair - Serious issue
Name: Ajay R hi friends this is not my own, i read in another forum and thought of sharing this, if any one has objection regarding this i will remove this...

Extra-marital affairs with colleagues - Serious Matter

In the wake of two shocking incidents that took place in Bangalore and Hyderabad, couples committing suicide because of extra-marital affairs with their colleagues, I just thought of writing a small article on how to avoid such incidents. This is really a serious matter and if not dealt on at an early stage could lead to such incidents in our personal life too. I have done research on human behavior and psychology and am trying to put-in some text which may (or may not) be helpful to you. Never-the-less I feel it' s worth knowing such things and if possible every individual can make a conscious effort to more or less follow the same.

Some people don' t take advice but taking good advice may do you no harm. Thos who are not married this is the best article as before starting a new relationship if you are ready for it, will only help you to lead a happy life.

Read on..
We spend 40/45/50/60 hours a week with our colleagues. This is the most we spend with any members of our family. So it' s obvious they are an integral part of our life. Good, understood. But an important point to remember is colleagues are colleagues and not friends and if you think they are friends then you are highly mistaken. Imagine working together for 9 hours a day together and then returning home and continuing to talk with your colleague on phone. This is what happened with that Infosys guy who could not stand this behavior of his wife and killed her and committed suicide. Which husband would like his wife talking on phone with her colleague and that too male counterpart? Or which wife will like her husband doing the same? Just keep yourself in that situation and see. Anger will creep in within you.

So whatever gossip or topic you want to discuss with your colleagues do it during office hours and once you are out of office forget about your work and your colleagues unless it' s official matter.

Just check this unnecessary talk…
A guy and her colleague walking out of office at 6.30p.m. At 7.30 or 8.00 the guy calls that female,
Guy: Hi, how are you? Where have you reached? (Don' t you know how she is and where she must be at this time)
Lady: I am fine. Reached home.
Guy: What are you cooking today?
Lady: So and so (Now here the lady knows that the guy has called to flirt with her and the call is unnecessary. It' s the duty of the female to say something to avoid that guy. If she doesn' t at this stage then this call will be going for another 30-45 mins and questions like ' When will you be taking bath? What time you will sleep? What will you bring for me for breakfast for tomorrow will creep in?' and imagine the state of the family members of that lady at this point.

They expect the lady to come and talk with them for sometime but here this lady is enjoying a talk with the guy with whom she has been working since morning. No wonder such people will have a horrendous married life.

A simple thing to think about. Say you are not married. You go to office and come back say at 6.00 in the evening. You have so much of time left. Can' t you read some books and increase your knowledge rather than spending one-two hours on mobile. Girls can start experimenting with new dishes. Main thing to understand is such gossiping on calls becomes on habit and bad habits die-hard. You will be addicted to talking and this can be bad as time goes on. One you start working you have to come out of college life. In college you could enjoy, flirt, do anything you wanted. But this is real life. Be responsible or else you will be responsible for your terrible life and the life if your husband/wife.
Any person no matter who he/she is would never like his/her wife/husband having such relationship with her/his colleagues.

Last year 90 of divorce happened because of Extra-Marital Affairs and in that 80 because of relationships with colleagues. And we would not like this to happen with us. So start from now.

Guys see to it that you don' t put an habit of calling you female-colleagues after office hours or on weekends or holidays, even if they provoke you or give missed calls. Let them spend time with their family members or other friends. You also do the same. Good girls don' t give missed calls. And girls who give I need not say what kind of girls they are. Stay away from them. You can talk as much as you want in office. And gals, if any guy calls you then it' s not bad to say ' No, Let' s talk in office' or ' I am busy, talk with you tomorrow' to that guy. Do it twice and they will automatically stop calling. Guys have this habit of flirting and you allowing them to flirt will only help them do more. Relationships can always be maintained in right manner.

Never succumb to emotional pressure like ' You don' t want to talk with me or what' or ' You can call him but you can' t call me' or ' You talk for so and so time with her but with me only this much' . Some people fall for this because they don' t want to lose a friend. Again I say colleague is not a friend. They are just here to work and keep on moving in their life. They go to other company, go for growth and so on. They will not wait for you in the same office to be with you forever. So don' t be emotionally attached with your colleagues. They are competitors and always on their toes to show you down in front of seniors and managers. You may not realize now but this is a fact, be ready for it.

Imagine a girl getting married and someone says to her to be husband, that guy over there is the one who regularly calls your wife or your wife gives missed calls or calls that guy. Always this thing will remain on the back of his mind. Similarly someone tells the bride that your groom always keeps calling that girl or vice-versa…. Imagine yourself at that place. Situations arise because we allow them to. No one can lead ideal life but we can always make an sincere effort to lead one.

Another note to be taken about: (strictly male to female and female to male contexts)
If your colleague calls you. Just check out whether if he calls others also. If he doesn' t then find out why? No guy will call other girl if he is not interested in that girl. In a group there can be five females but it' s not necessary that a guy calls all five. He will only call the one on whom he is interested.

Similarly, a girl will not give missed call to everyone. If she gives then she must be really lonely. Stay away from them or you will be caught in their loving talk. Guys normally fall for girls because of their beauty or their talk. So if a guy colleague comes to you and proposes you then it' s not his mistake completely, it' s more of yours because you were the one who used to give him that space.

Also you become a topic of gossip among your fellow colleagues if they come to know that one of their colleague is calling you and not calling others. And there is nothing more dangerous than office gossip. It can cost you your job and just remember how easily you got this job.

So please keep your office and it' s people at office and lead a normal happy life. For your good and for the good of your spouse. Send it to your colleagues, friends, relatives, parents and everyone and avoid incidents like the one mentioned at the beginning of this article. If you feel anyone is doing anything mentioned above then just go and tell him/her. You will be helping someone in their life
Subscribe to this conversation Reply Anonymously

Name: Anonymous
Subject:  Well written
The article though is written only regarding girls, as you' re a guy.

Tell me what should a wife do if she finds out that her husband is cheating on him & to top it, denies to come out of it.............???

I' m facing it and I know how it feels to be in a situation like this.
Reply to Original MessageReply to Original Message   Reply to Original Message Reply to This Message   Msg Objection   Go to Top

Name: ilovefun
Subject:  emr
Interesting thread and a widespread situation. However self created a situation this may be, it is not something that cannot be undone. A checklist to oneself to avoid the regrets later would be to:-

1. Be ready to deal with tact later consequences of one' s own actions.
2. Remind yourself of the saying \" Look before you leap\"

Reply to Original MessageReply to Original Message   Reply to Original Message Reply to This Message   Msg Objection   Go to Top

Name: AlrounderGirlAsh
Subject:  Really True
I read it and found it 100% true. There are many girls who don' t live with their parents and working out of hometown. They make anyone their friends and start spending time with them and in that situation boys try to take advantage of those girls also. I have seen many cases where girls could do anything to keep their friendship alive and leave everything for them. Boy makes them to feel that they are special(more than their family and wife) and If boy doesn' t accept call in weekend or after going back home, girl gets mad.

There are lots of cases vice versa.. Boys are living out of hometown and they fall for married women and then they could ruin married women life also.

I don' t know who will stop turning our Indian culture to western culture??

I know We are now in 21st century but time is difficult to live life and enjoy it fully without any stress !!!

Reply to Original MessageReply to Original Message   Reply to Original Message Reply to This Message   Msg Objection   Go to Top

Name: roadkingp
Subject:  JUSTICE
Marriage and commitment has become so much a joke.
Reply to Original MessageReply to Original Message   Reply to Original Message Reply to This Message   Msg Objection   Go to Top

Name: roadkingp
Subject:  Thanks!
Hope there are many who are like you and actually follow this. But i find this world is filled with people who like to take advantage of the situation rather than helping out or doing justice.
Reply to Original MessageReply to Original Message   Reply to Original Message Reply to This Message   Msg Objection   Go to Top

All tips on Love
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic :
Extra Marital Affair - Serious issue

Subscribe to this conversation! All tips on Love
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic :
Extra Marital Affair - Serious issue

Subscribe to this conversation! All tips on Love
You ever wanted in one place.
No need to go anywhere else.
& Answers to Topic :
Extra Marital Affair - Serious issue

Thanks for subscribing
You are already a member, please login to subscribe

------ OR ------

Expecting Parents
Parents of Babies
Last 7 Posts of this Board
RE:Should we go for full swap
I read the developments in your case & I thought I must comment on it. Swinging is becoming very prevalent in India. This is because of the couples getting liberated and coming out of the shackles of the old conservatism. To my mind there is nothing good or bad in this world, it is our thinking that makes it so.

I have read all the opinions and suggestions on ... - saraswati [View Message]
Hi I am married and have a kid but I am in deep love with my colleague friend who is elder to me by 4 years and has 2 kids. I keep thinking of her always and I am so addicted to her looks. I imagine her when I am with my wife and think am enjoying with her. my colleague is so close to me and she too has problems with her married life. when i speak to her i keep rubbing do... - hi [View Message]
RE:RE:Sex with neighbour
I accept to what ever you are saying.... - Leon [View Message]
RE:RE:sex outside marrige
have you tried?i really wan to know how does it feel to have sex with someone other than husband..i am 26 yer old married wmn havin 3 yr son... - trisha [View Message]
Loves wife s marid frnd
I am married since 4yrs and also no child at my wife s love me lots but last some months my wife's frnd come to our home for lunch shi is pretty and lovalbl free tkng girl she has a child also she looks in my eyes loving type after some days we will meet on wtsup just normal talk but she was tolk only some time but I sended evry each msg she reads and I attract so and I th... - SAndy [View Message]
My Wife's affair with her colleague
We are couple living in Mumbai. I am 33 and my wife is 30. We both working. Ours in arrange marriage. Me and wife are different personalities. I am quiet, introvert guy and I like to stick to my reading and TV watching. My wife is of outgoing nature and likes to enjoy outdoor activities and experiences. We had arguments, angry discussions in the past and she used to say in... - Nilesh Jamu [View Message]
RE:looking for secret sex in Bangalore
Is this is some kind of joke or what? Are you crazy and what do you think of yourself and i think you are going out of your mind, please be in your limits and do not post such things in this group as this is not place what you are looking for it.... - Anita [View Message]