My wife had friendship with a guy about 5.5 years back, she was talking fun, love, sex, beauty etc to the guy. Who was her office colleague. Once I heard the conversation, and after arguments, she started crying, she said sorry N number of times. and Finally after a week I forgive her.
Last 5 years after than incident were incredible. She was extremly good wife in all means, i.e. handling finance, caring about me, beauty, love everything. As I was alot of busy in work, most of the time tired in weekdays, hence most of the time could not make good love to her in night in weekdays. We had good weekends. I always felt morning as good time, as I am fresh, but she never liked the mornings for love.
Now 2 weeks back again I found her talking to a different office colleagure similary, and again when I discussed this with her, she is feeling sorry and crying alot. Both times she said, she only had a good friendship, wherein she could discuss everything, but she didn' t had physical relationship. But as a human & circumstances I get doubt about this.
I love her badly, I am fully satisfied with her. Even thinking about staying away from her fills my eyes with tears.
I am all confused... I want to show to her that I can live without her, so that she realizes my importance but she can stay longer without talking to me and I ends up making first call.
I am well settled, I have everything in world but this problem is too big for me to handle....
Please help me to get clarity, What should I be doing? Is it too much for me to have sex twice a week only. I fulfill all her wishes, whatever they are except of having sex daily, as I get tired from work. I am thinking about quiting the work, so that I can be with her whole day... but she do not want this too
I am getting crazy
I think you are a very mature person to handle this situation so cool headed. Any way, I' ll like to tell you both the sides.
Don' t think of any extreme thing as you have a kid. Think about her/him.
But at the same time, this has to be addressed. A phone can very soon change into ' Let' s try it out' . Now, As you have already said that she was a good wife for 5 years, their . It could be that she needs a change. Rather than changing the guy, how about you being creative here? There are lots of ways the same thing can be done. Internet will guide you.
Do your best and leave the rest to your deeds. The more tighter we try to hold the sand, the more it slips out from between our fingers.
I am lucky enough that I can discuss with her. She has openly shared everything. She is 100% satisfied with me as partner. She says she just like talking to guys. It seems it is more like what Isha & Pete said.
For now she is loving me, and we are trying to be normal.
I am treating her as special, having more sex than she wants. I am not going to office. Now she wants me to goto office, she says she has got tired of having so much sex. I told her that my work stress will take us back to same situation. But she says, now she has realise the importance of our relation, and situation like this will never happen again in future.
Though I am not going to work for now. But I know in 1 week or 2... I will have to start work again. and Work stress will again start rulling my mind & body.
Please give some more suggestion and tips.
Dont quit job
Dont do the mistake of quitting job. It will ruin everything for you.
You say you have fulfilled all her desires except daily sex. But as some others have pointed our take her out to on a long holiday (a second honeymoon), talk to her, have regular sex there and both of you may know what changes are needed in each.
As for daily sex, you say you are tired. She wants morning sex. You do not like it. Somebody has to adjust to something. You have sacrificed so much for her, you sacrifice this attitude also. Of course it is not spiritually good to have sex around day break time. But you can have it around 3 or 4 am for about half hour and then continue to sleep for another hour or two. You can do this almost daily. Try some different positions to satisfy her fantasies. You may come out of this mental agony.
Speak to her in Private
Doubt is like a creeper. It can spread all over the mind and body and destroy you completely. Also mind is like eternity, if you keep thinking you can think a million things and still have more space to think. Hence its very important to keep your mind healthy with positive thoughts.
I can understand how hard it is to live life doubting your spouse. Its worse than death. And if what you doubt becomes true then life is not worth living for any common man who have pride and feelings in him.
Now coming to your point. I would want you to believe only if you see anything going wrong. Just because someone speaks about love and sex over phone does not mean that they are having it. Al least let hope that way to keep our life healthy. Why don' t you take your spouse for a trip, preferably just the two of you and ask her what is that she is missing in you. What is that she thinks she is happy without you. What is that she enjoys in others that are not in you and etc.. I am sure she will have a big list. Ask her why is she doing all this and why does she feel she is not happy doing the same things to you. May be she loves all this and you are not there for her, nor you don' t have the time for her. This may be due to your work schedule. But remember one thing my friend, there are certain things in life that the husband and wife should share and give to each other, here there is no excuse nor reasons, you just need to give it. You have very few people in this world who will wait for there spouse to keep giving them what they like. Once they start getting from others especially what they are missing with their spouse, they tend to start enjoying it and unconsciously fall for it, this is a typical human behavior. some people may fall for it immediately and some in a long course of time, it depends on the persons character.
Stop thinking of the circumstances and have sleepless night. You need to firmly believe that there was no physical contact. Ask her is she repents doing all this and what is that you need to do to keep her happy. Once she tells you all then you better be the way she wants you to be, even if it means you need to give her sex everyday. Start exercising, join the gym, I am telling you man, in 3 month you will look different and forget your spouse even others will start admiring you. This way she will be attached to you more.
Some women want sex everyday and they are demanding. This does not give a man the right to to think that their spouse is not satisfied with them or they are going out of the way. Some instances men need more sex and in some cases women need more sex. This is perfectly natural.
So go ahead pal take her to a romantic place and talk talk and talk. I am sure this will work. I don' t want to think otherwise. Dont take any extreme steps of quitting your job.