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Due Date Club June 2008:Sharing our loss
2008-02-07
Name: NC



In the 19th week of pregnancy, on 28th Jan, I had gone town side for some work. Suddenly i felt a small gush of fluid that wet my inners and my jeans. Since I had not experienced anything like that in the past 20 weeks, I rushed to the nearest wash room to find that a watery liquid had drained out per vaginally and it was definitely not urine. In a state of panic, i called my doc, and he asked me to rush to the nearest ultrasound place to check for the status of baby etc...USG showed there was enough liquor, baby was moving well, good heart beat and cervix closed.
Doc asked me to go back home, rest completely and start antibiotics and bricanyl tablet to relax the uterus, and report back if i experienced any similar leakage.
For the next 12 hours, things seemed to be quiet and in the middle of the night, i experienced more such gushing of fluid. We waited till 7 am to call doctor, who asked me to get admitted for monitoring.
On admission, I was put in head low position, started on Bricanyl injections and IV high end antibiotics to prevent any infection. The fluid leakage was due to premature rupture of membranes - which happens this early in around 1 of pregnancies due to various reasons or no reason at all. USG done that evening revealed that liquor quantity was somewhat less but adequate, but the more worrisome thing was that my cervix was funneling, and the length thereby reduced to barely 2 cm, from a good 4.5 cm, 2 weeks ago.

Leaking was somewhat reduced in the next few days and the same treatment was on, with fetal heart sound monitoring and head low position -complete bedrest. Meanwhile my white blood cell count and C Reactive Protein counts came out on the higher side, suggesting infection.

An ultrasound done on Saturday (Day 5 of admission) showed that there was hardly any liquor, which was the reason why my leaking had stopped too. The white cell counts and CRP levels had come down quite well by now though. In view of hardly any liquor in Week 19/20 - my doctor felt that the prognosis was extremely poor, and it was nearly impossible to drag baby upto a viable age and he suggested termination of pregnancy as the safest option for me and baby. Saturday evening was an extremely sad and difficult day for us and we had to take a very difficult decision of not continuing the pregnancy due to such adverse consequences if we decided to continue pregnancy.

SUnday night, labour was induced, feb 4th morning i went into labour and delivered a stillborn 20 week old baby girl after 4 hours of labour pain.

I was so happily waiting to be mom in June, but fate had other plans. We turned out to be parents in Feb itself and couldn' t have the good fortune of holding our baby girl or playing with her.

Just felt like sharing our terrible loss with fellow mommas, and want to tell you expectant mommas to keep up the hope but be extremely careful of any sudden fluid rushing out before you are actually in labour.
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2008-03-11
#1
Anonymous Name: betsy
Subject:  sorry nc



hi nc, so sorry to hear about ur loss. i know how it feels coz i have been through the same. i lost my first child about 3 yrs ago. was in my 3rd month when i started bleeding. i got through that time by the grace of jesus almighty alone. turn to Him and he will help u too. anyway dont loose hope. i have a 2 yr old daughter now and am preggy once again. so take it from me, it is not over. chin up.
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2008-02-13
#2
Anonymous Name: Ishi
Subject:  sorry to hear



Hello NC,
just read about your situation, feel extremely sorry...have faith in God, he has the reason for his every move...you take good care of yourself and God will give u the opportunity once more...
Ishi
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2008-02-09
#3
Anonymous Name: sudha
Subject:  dear NC



it was extremly heartfelt to read what happened..just as it gives immiense joy to me to read birth stories and the advent of a new life in this earth it is so sad that this loss happened
you have asked abt support system in this forum if u see to ur left there will b an option in the yellow box which says miscarriage and child loss u can visist that platform if ur ok
u will see there r so many like u
reading ur post all my thought came rushing in i too lost my dear daughter in 2006 at 34 wks we jst celebrated her b day with tearful rememberence of that day
share whatever u have in ur mind ur joy, regret,sadness ...everything u will feel better cherish the memories u had for 20 weeks there r so many who cant even have that ...i didnt even see my daughter
but i would like to say something ur pain is still raw dont rush into another preg grief over this fully
god bless u and give u the courage and keep in touch
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2008-02-09
#4
Anonymous Name: rashi
Subject:  sorry!!!



m extremely sorry to hear about ur loss... can' t even imagine wht u must hv went thru......take good care of urself.... at times its difficult to judge god' s decision.... but he knows the best... so hv faith in him n his actions.....i too had 3 miscarriages before my son was born.....n now my expecting my second child.....at times we hv to wait long for our deserved happiness....but belive me it does come..... u' ll be in my prayers.... lots of love n hugs to u
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2008-02-08
#5
Anonymous Name: NC
Subject:  thanks



Dear friends,
I really appreciate your kind soothing words - i was sort of skeptical about posting the sad news on a board where everybody has to keep up their spirits, did not want to shock / lower your good cheer-
But was feeling odd to abruptly leave the board without sharing what happened.

Is there any support group on these boards for pregnancy loss, it would be nice to get courage from moms who have gone through similar experiences.

Thanks again for your understanding and prayers.
N
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2008-02-08
#6
Anonymous Name: Sheetal
Subject:  Trust God !



I am really very sorry to hear about the loss.Can imagine how must be feeling,please take care of yourself! Trust God , he sure has good plans for you.Will def pray for you.

Best Wishes,
Sheetal.
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2008-02-08
#7
Anonymous Name: Breeze
Subject:  Sorry about ur loss....



I am extremely sorry to hear about ur loss.... it feels terrible to even imagine wat u mite have gone thru.... all i can say is plz keep hope n faith Inshallah der wud be gud times for u ahead....

U' l b in our prayers.... tkcr of urself.

Saba
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2008-02-08
#8
Anonymous Name: priti.p
Subject:  2 sorry 4 d loss..



I feel extremely sorry for d loss... Could imagiane myself at ur place.
n that 2 at the stage as 20th week.
Trust in God.. there must be even more happiness 4 u in ur fate.

Take care. N try to relax ur mind.


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2008-02-08
#9
Anonymous Name: Bindiya
Subject:  So sorry



I am really sorry for your loss and can understand what you must be going through.
It' s really brave of you to share this with us, everything will be fine have faith.
Take care.
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2008-02-08
#10
Anonymous Name: max
Subject:  maybe god had some better plans for u



i had two pregnancies earlier....i lost both of them..... i understand how u feel.....but if something bad happens one shd always think maybe god had some better plans for us and we shd move on with our lives

so take rest
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2008-02-07
#11
Anonymous Name: tej
Subject:  pl take care of ur self dear



I m extremely sorry for wht has happened , pl take good care of urself . I know it would be difficult at this stage when all of us paint thier dreams so very colorful.Keep faith in GOD and what He has planed for you.All my prayers And good wishes for you.Take good care of yourself.
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2008-02-07
#12
Anonymous Name: Sangeeta
Subject:  sorry for the loss



I m extremely sorry for the loss. i m feeling short of words don´ t know what to say. can only say pls take care of yourself and keep faith in God.

take care
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