It is very essential to talk effectively with kids to develop strong relationship with them. Read about the 10 communication mistakes of parents which should be avoided to strengthen the bonding with kids.
Parenting is a challenging job, though it carries significant life tasks. Every parent has his or her own way to raising the child. But there are many misconceptions about raising kids that can lead to ineffective power struggles and communication and thus can damage the parentâ€™s self-esteem. Here are 10 communication mistakes which many parent tend to do.
1. Blabbering a Lot
If you keep talking too much, your kids tend to tune them out. Human brain can keep only 30 seconds of new information i.e. one or two sentences having unique information in active memory at once. So if you keep blabbering, then your kids may ignore you as they hardly can absorb the things you are telling.
2. Giving Warnings Often
When you keep nagging and giving warnings from time to time, you are actually allowing the kids to ignore you because they know you will warn again and again in the near future doing nothing in reality. You should make firm warnings and act accordingly.
3. Not Listening
Attentive listening can be difficult for you, but it is important for you to do even if your mind is preoccupied with a thousand things. Your kids would want you to listen to them, and if you do not give an effective ear, kids will not learn the value of respect and empathy.
4. Being Insensitive
Even if you attentively listen to your child, you have to show your sensitivity and empathy as well. Otherwise this will distance your connection with your kids. It all builds with trust, respect, and connection, without which you cannot impart the values you want to impart to your kids.
5. Digging Up the Dead
â€śToday is a new dayâ€ť â€“ you should learn how to move on. Stop bringing up events in the past where your kids went wrong even though you warned them or something in every conversation. This shows your low expectations and you are not trying to push yourselves to make it better.
6. Not Being Specific
If you are not happy about something, discuss it with your kids. They will not get dreams that you are not happy about something they want to do. You have to confront it yourself. You cannot accuse them for not understanding what you felt. You should be specific.
7. Drawing Conclusions Suddenly
Allow your kids to explain the situation. Do not jump into conclusions by making assumptions. This is a big sign of miscommunication. Always talk out and allow your kids to talk to you as well. Stop generalising the situations.
8. Communicating in Anger
When you are stressed, tired, or angry, please let it go. You tend to be in ineffective communication when you have lost your mind. So wait for some time until you cool down, and then you communicate with your kids. Ask your kids to talk to you later on if it is not urgent.
9. Not Rephrasing
A big communication mistake is when you are unable to pass the message correctly to the receiver. Being able to rephrase is important. If you are not sure of what your kids have told, ask them if they meant what you understood or is it something else.
10. Forcing Them in Your Timetable
Watch out when are our kids free to talk. You cannot force them to be available according to your timetable. They may be busy when you are free, and that can lead to miscommunication. It is better if you adjust your timings rather than expecting your kids to do so.
Effective communication is not really tough. You just need to be aware of your own feelings and reflex reactions; you should slow down to choose a more mindful way. Re-examine your priorities and let things go â€“ then everything will fall into place.
Which are the common communication mistakes done by parents? Why is it necessary to communicate effectively with kids? How can effective communication help to develop strong bonding with kids? Discuss here.
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- The Indiaparenting Team