Punishing children to discipline them will not always work. It is a must to discipline them in constructive ways. Let us take a look at the 7 disciplining strategies that work.Teaching effective discipline to your child is one of the toughest jobs of parenting. “Discipline” at best means “teaching, learning” but it is often equated with punishment, yelling, tantrums and hurt feelings. The conventional methods to discipline a child are only to make them pay for their mistake, but that does not teach them to differentiate the right from the wrong. We ought to focus more on positive parenting which includes giving them the needed attention, training them appropriately, setting limits for them and helping them follow such rules.
1. Be Consistent
As children, they are still learning about the effect of their
behaviour on others. If the rules get changed every day, it sends misleading signals to their brain.You might need innumerable incidents and reprimands before your child stops certain misbehaviour. The good news is that it will eventually stop. After all, it is up to the parents to have clear rules and expectations to make the child follow them. When child makes a mistake, make her realize that such behaviour is not acceptable.
2. Keep it Short and Simple
Children have very short attention spans. If you attempt to reason with your child about her mistakes, you tend to digress into long and detailed explanations. A younger toddler lacks the cognitive ability to process too long and complex sentences, while the slightly older toddler just loses her attention span. Instead, speak in short phrases, repeating them a few times with tone modulations and facial expressions. Say, “Don’t hit him! It hurts!”
3. Divert Your Child’s Attention
Children who hear, “no” or “don’t” all the time tend to tune them out. See what is important to you, and set your limits accordingly and have appropriate consequences.Use
positive behaviour as a replacement for misbehaviour. For example, a cranky toddler at the store might be asked to help out with rearranging items in the grocery cart. Be quick to praise when your child is on her best behaviour, and says thank you and please. This will help in positive reinforcement to do more good than the bad.
4. Take Away Privileges or Give Time Outs
Time out means to simply remove your child from an unpleasant situation. Have a separate “time-out chair”. The rule is one minute of time-out per age. A one-year-old would be in time-out for one minute and so on. As your children grow, you may take away their privileges to wear their favourite clothes or playing video games. This will help them understand the difference between “rights” and “privileges” as a young child.
5. Reward Good Behaviour
When trying to
discipline your child, it is easy to miss out on her “good behaviours”. Here again, you have some limits. Do not treat your child every time she puts her toys away. Praise her by saying, “I’m glad you’ve put away your toys. Doesn’t the room look nice and clean now?” On the other hand, do not bribe her with chocolates to keep her quiet on an outing. This makes children believe that one should behave well in order to get something in return.
6. Behaviour Modification
Behaviour modification is to make your child aware of their progress. Make them note down their progress on a chart. For example, if you want your child to take responsibility for brushing her teeth, have a behaviour modification chart in the bathroom where they add a tick mark when they remember. You could have a deal to have a special treat together, after ten tick marks.
7. Spend Quality Time with Your Children
Spending time with your children is the best investment, much more than the latest toy. Spend at least fifteen minutes with your child connecting with your child. Do whatever your child wants to do, and tell her how much you love her. This will help your child to not resort to
negative behaviour for attention, promoting a healthy and trusting bond with her parents.
With the help of some strategies, it is possible to inculcate good behaviour into your child. However, parents also need to be compassionate, understanding and patient to help their child grow and learn. With a little help from your end, your child will pick up the good and try to incorporate that into her behaviour on her own.
Why do children misbehave? How to discipline children? What kind of disciplining strategies should be avoided by parents? Discuss here.
