Does your child fights at school frequently? First and foremost thing which you should do is to find out the reasons behind the fights. Talk to your child and teach him the ways to control anger and avoid fighting. Read on to know the reasons why children fight in school or home and how to handle the situation.If your child uses fights or other negative behaviour to cope with things at home, keep in mind that this will not stop here. He must be using the same attitude in school also. So, if you see that your daughter uses verbal abuse or your son uses his fighting skills instead of positive problem solving skills, you should be alarmed and try to solve this issue as soon as possible. Parents are responsible for the proper growth of the child so that he becomes a successful adult with all the skills of communication, negotiation and compromise. Do not teach your child to deal problems with a hammer when there are so many sophisticated tools available within us. In this articleWhy Children Develop into Fighters Find the Reason behind the Fights Do not Bombard Child with QuestionsTalk to the PointListen to Your Child Show Your Interest in What Your Child SpeaksAvoid Cutting the ConversationTeach Child to Be Patient Why Children Develop into Fighters You must agree that some children get into fistfights very easily and faster than others. There are many children who find it difficult to solve social problems and often this leads to aggressive behaviour. Most of the children learn to handle small and everyday problems as they mature. But some children fail to develop problem solving skills that are expected from them at their level. Sometimes parents provoke their children by asking simple questions. For example when any boy hits his younger brother, he is usually asked – why did you hit your brother? This means he is asked to give a reason. Whereas the parent wants to convey – you should not hit your brother. So, instead of asking ‘why’, you should opt for a better and positive alternative. How to Handle Fighting at School or Home Here is how you can handle your child’s fights at school or home. Find the Reason behind the Fights When you come to know that your child was fighting at school, the first thing you need to do is to find out what exactly happened. Do not Bombard Child with Questions Give your child some time to transition when he comes home. Do not immediately attack him with word or questions. Talk to him after he is calmed down. Talk to the Point Be direct when you are talking. Blaming or trapping your child is not the right way to deal with any issue. Instead, it is better you talk to him directly and straightforwardly. Listen to Your Child Listen to what he wants to say. Even if you feel that he is wrong or lying, listen to him. Let him complete what he wants to say or share with you. Show Your Interest in What Your Child Speaks Use active listening methods when you talk to your child. Listen carefully and show your interest in what he is saying. You can use the phrases like – I see, tell me more and so on so forth. This will encourage him to share everything with you and may be he will give you the right picture. Avoid Cutting the Conversation When you are talking to your child, there is a thumb rule that you should avoid using the word ‘but’. This is because ‘but’ will cut down the conversation as it indicates there is something negative coming after that. Teach Child to Be Patient If this was the first time, help your child figure out where his coping skills broke down. Teach him about alternatives that would have worked better. Instead of punishing him, help him come out of the aggressive behaviour. Encourage your child to practice meditation which will help him to control his anger and be patient. If your child was disciplined for fighting in school, you need to spend sometime with him and help him figure out alternatives. If he has been suspended, you should take some strict action till his suspension is taken off. Carry the iPod, the cable box, the cell phone and the keyboard with you when you get off to office.
Does your child fights at school frequently? First and foremost thing which you should do is to find out the reasons behind the fights. Talk to your child and teach him the ways to control anger and avoid fighting. Read on to know the reasons why children fight in school or home and how to handle the situation.If your child uses
fights or other negative behaviour to cope with things at home, keep in mind that this will not stop here. He must be using the same attitude in school also. So, if you see that your daughter uses
verbal abuse or your son uses his fighting skills instead of positive problem solving skills, you should be alarmed and try to solve this issue as soon as possible.
Parents are responsible for the proper growth of the child so that he becomes a successful adult with all the skills of communication, negotiation and compromise. Do not teach your child to deal problems with a hammer when there are so many sophisticated tools available within us.
Why Children Develop into Fighters
You must agree that some children get into fistfights very easily and faster than others. There are many children who find it difficult to solve social problems and often this leads to aggressive behaviour. Most of the children learn to handle small and everyday problems as they mature. But some children fail to develop problem solving skills that are expected from them at their level.
Sometimes parents provoke their children by asking simple questions. For example when any boy hits his younger brother, he is usually asked – why did you hit your brother? This means he is asked to give a reason. Whereas the parent wants to convey – you should not hit your brother. So, instead of asking ‘why’, you should opt for a better and positive alternative.
How to Handle Fighting at School or Home
Here is how you can handle your child’s fights at school or home.
Find the Reason behind the Fights
When you come to know that your child was fighting at school, the first thing you need to do is to find out what exactly happened.
Do not Bombard Child with Questions
Give your child some time to transition when he comes home. Do not immediately attack him with word or questions. Talk to him after he is calmed down.
Talk to the Point
Be direct when you are talking. Blaming or trapping your child is not the right way to deal with any issue. Instead, it is better you talk to him directly and straightforwardly.
Listen to Your Child
Listen to what he wants to say. Even if you feel that he is wrong or lying, listen to him. Let him complete what he wants to say or share with you.
Show Your Interest in What Your Child Speaks
Use active listening methods when you talk to your child. Listen carefully and show your interest in what he is saying. You can use the phrases like – I see, tell me more and so on so forth. This will encourage him to share everything with you and may be he will give you the right picture.
Avoid Cutting the Conversation
When you are talking to your child, there is a thumb rule that you should avoid using the word ‘but’. This is because ‘but’ will cut down the conversation as it indicates there is something negative coming after that.
Teach Child to Be Patient
If this was the first time, help your child figure out where his coping skills broke down. Teach him about alternatives that would have worked better. Instead of punishing him, help him come out of the aggressive behaviour. Encourage your child to practice meditation which will help him to control his anger and be patient.
If your child was disciplined for fighting in
school, you need to spend sometime with him and help him figure out alternatives. If he has been suspended, you should take some strict action till his suspension is taken off. Carry the iPod, the cable box, the cell phone and the keyboard with you when you get off to office.
