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You are here : home > Raising Children > Relation between Siblings > Handling Sibling Fights

Handling Sibling Fights

Handling Sibling Fights

Sibling rivalry and sibling fights are common childhood concerns. However, it can be a matter of great concern if your kids become aggressive. Read on to find more about sibling rivalry and how to handle sibling fights.

Siblings do fight with each other and it is common that they swing back and forth. Parents find it energy draining when their siblings fight. Although this is quite common sight and happens in every house where there is more than one child. In some homes this is seen rarely while in some it is quite common and happens most of the time.

Most often it is seen that sibling rivalry starts even before the birth of the second child. This goes on increasing and decreasing when the kids have to share everything from toys to rooms and attention of their parents too. Although you cannot completely stop the indifference but at least you can minimize the conflicts to a great extent.

Reasons behind Siblings Fight

There are numerous reasons for which siblings can fight. However, some of the common causes are based on jealousy, competition and to attract attention.

Growing Needs –

usually kids are very protective and possessive about their toys and belongings. So if their younger brother or sister tries to play with those toys, they react and most often get aggressive too. Teenagers may react when their individuality and independence get hampered. They usually show their reaction by not taking the responsibility of their younger one or doing any household job or help.

Individual Natures –

Your kids have different moods, natures and temperaments and these characteristics play a vital role in how they behave with others. Every child wants to have the attention of his parents and if he feels that his younger one is getting more, he might react and show his anger by fighting with his younger one.

Get Attention –

Kids also fight to get attention from you. If you have been busy or not paying attention to your kids’ demands and requests, it is possible that will start fighting so that you come and listen to them, their problems or words.

Feels Slighted –

Kids fight when the younger one feels slighted as the elder one usually finds it unacceptable to play with him. The older one feels that he is not a small baby or playing with a small baby will make him become a subject of ridicule among his friends.

Out of Habit –

Most often it is seen that siblings fight just because they have a habit to do so. This usually happens if proper counseling along with right love and care is not given to children right from the time the second child is born.

How to Handle Sibling Fights

  • Make your kids learn that you are aware of their feelings. Try to communicate and demonstrate understanding so that they share their feelings in words with you.
  • Make it clear to your kids that yelling and hitting is not part of game and is unacceptable too.
  • Pay attention to both your children and spend time with them.
  • Although siblings fight, they cannot stand to be separated. So, you can threaten them if things get too far.
  • Give them designated place where they can have the freedom to decorate as they please. Give them space so that they grow in a better way.
  • If possible, do not get involved in the fight unless you see any harm to one of them.

Remember, you cannot completely avoid indifference of conflict. They are two individuals with different temperaments. No fight means no interaction which is more dangerous than fighting. So, let them grow together with love and fights. Just make sure that the special bonding gets stronger.




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Dinshaw
Dinshaw.12 years ago
let the kids work out their own battles.It’s almost impossible to figure out who “started” a conflict.If you take sides, you increase the resentments.kids need to learn social skills for handling conflict
 
 
 
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Rajhans
Rajhans.12 years ago
emotionally connect with the kids so that they do not feel left out. give attention to both to nip sibling rivalry from bud.
 
 
 
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Toasty
Toasty.12 years ago
I think the best way to deal is by intervening. you have to intervene to put a stop to fighting, either punish both with a time out or have them complete a chore together, in which they have to cooperate to get done.
 
 
 
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