Will Children Ever Learn to Respect their Possessions?
Broken toys lost toys torn or stained clothes…this seems to be a given when it comes to children. But should parents be resigned to this situation or should they work towards instilling respect for their possessions in their children?Instilling the value of money and of possessions has become an uphill task for parents today.Some useful tips.Niranjan Shah gave his 12-year-old son a wristwatch for his birthday. The next day his son came home from school saying that he couldnt find it. Malini Shetty bought her daughter a set of crayons to colour with, only to find that in a couple of days there were only a few crayons left in the box. The rest were strewn around, broken or lost. Broken toys, lost toys, torn or stained clothes…this seems to be a given when it comes to children. But should parents be resigned to this situation or should they work towards instilling respect for their possessions in their children? In this articleCan children be responsible?Societal changesSome useful tipsCan children be responsible? In such situations, parents usually lose their tempers and trot out the same old sermons reprimanding their children for not valuing their things and exhorting them to be more careful in the future. However, at the back of their minds they think, "Children will be children." While one cannot expect children to be responsible from the day they are born, one must not assume that they are incapable of responsibility till they are teenagers. They will only learn to value their possessions if you ingrain this into them right from a young age.Societal changes Instilling the value of money and of possessions has become an uphill task for parents today. You will find that most of the advertisements are targeted at children whether the product is a computer or a barbie doll. In addition, newer, slicker and updated versions of products are regularly released in the market. And children just want more and more. Unfortunately, a lot of parents also give more and more. This, in turn, leads to a scenario where the children have so many things that one thing here or there that is lost or broken barely leaves a dent in their collection. Also, the old mentality where one preserved ones things and handed them down to future generations is almost a thing of the past in the more affluent circles. Despite the fact that childrens things are so expensive, parents have got into the habit of replacing old with the new at the drop of a hat rather than making an attempt to see whether the old can be mended or refurbished. Some useful tips While you can begin teaching your children to value their possessions from as early an age as two and a half, dont expect miracles. They will forget; they will be careless; but this is part of the learning progress. You will see that they will begin to improve slowly over time. You cannot expect your children to have a responsible attitude towards their possessions if you yourself are a slouch in this department. Remember that you cant point fingers at them if you yourself are in the habit of losing things or leaving things around. Designate a space to store your childrens toys and arrange them in an orderly fashion so that your children know exactly what goes where. Teach your children that they shouldnt pull out all their toys at the same time. They should learn to only take out the ones they are going to play with and replace the ones that they are bored with in the places they belong. Establish rules in the beginning. Tell your children you will warn them once about leaving things lying around, but if they persist in this behaviour they will lose the privilege of using those things for a time. If your children lose something, explain to them that these things cost money and that you cannot afford to replace them. Help them look for whatever they have lost. Dont forget to praise them when they are careful and responsible about their possessions. Once in a while, let your children pick out toys that they have outgrown or do not want to play with any more and give it to a charity. This will teach them not to take their possessions for granted and to realize that there are other children less fortunate than them.
Broken toys lost toys torn or stained clothes…this seems to be a given when it comes to children. But should parents be resigned to this situation or should they work towards instilling respect for their possessions in their children?Instilling the value of money and of possessions has become an uphill task for parents today.Some useful tips.
Niranjan Shah gave his 12-year-old son a wristwatch for his birthday. The next day his son came home from school saying that he couldn't find it. Malini Shetty bought her daughter a set of crayons to colour with, only to find that in a couple of days there were only a few crayons left in the box. The rest were strewn around, broken or lost. Broken toys, lost toys, torn or stained clothes…this seems to be a given when it comes to children. But should parents be resigned to this situation or should they work towards instilling respect for their possessions in their children?
In such situations, parents usually lose their tempers and trot out the same old sermons reprimanding their children for not valuing their things and exhorting them to be more careful in the future. However, at the back of their minds they think, "Children will be children." While one cannot expect children to be responsible from the day they are born, one must not assume that they are incapable of responsibility till they are teenagers. They will only learn to value their possessions if you ingrain this into them right from a young age.
Societal changes
Instilling the value of money and of possessions has become an uphill task for parents today. You will find that most of the advertisements are targeted at children whether the product is a computer or a barbie doll. In addition, newer, slicker and updated versions of products are regularly released in the market. And children just want more and more. Unfortunately, a lot of parents also give more and more. This, in turn, leads to a scenario where the children have so many things that one thing here or there that is lost or broken barely leaves a dent in their collection.
Also, the old mentality where one preserved one's things and handed them down to future generations is almost a thing of the past in the more affluent circles. Despite the fact that children's things are so expensive, parents have got into the habit of replacing old with the new at the drop of a hat rather than making an attempt to see whether the old can be mended or refurbished.
Some useful tips
While you can begin teaching your children to value their possessions from as early an age as two and a half, don't expect miracles. They will forget; they will be careless; but this is part of the learning progress. You will see that they will begin to improve slowly over time.
You cannot expect your children to have a responsible attitude towards their possessions if you yourself are a slouch in this department. Remember that you can't point fingers at them if you yourself are in the habit of losing things or leaving things around.
Designate a space to store your children's toys and arrange them in an orderly fashion so that your children know exactly what goes where.
Teach your children that they shouldn't pull out all their toys at the same time. They should learn to only take out the ones they are going to play with and replace the ones that they are bored with in the places they belong.
Establish rules in the beginning. Tell your children you will warn them once about leaving things lying around, but if they persist in this behaviour they will lose the privilege of using those things for a time.
If your children lose something, explain to them that these things cost money and that you cannot afford to replace them. Help them look for whatever they have lost.
Don't forget to praise them when they are careful and responsible about their possessions.
Once in a while, let your children pick out toys that they have outgrown or do not want to play with any more and give it to a charity. This will teach them not to take their possessions for granted and to realize that there are other children less fortunate than them.
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- The Indiaparenting Team