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Tips
for Building Self-reliance
The dos:
-
Parents can encourage their children
to be self-reliant in baby steps. Children can start by taking care of
their daily routine like brushing their teeth, feeding themselves, tying
their own laces, etc. as soon as they get the hang of it.
-
Children should spend more time in free
play when they can explore their own ideas and think for themselves.
-
When they are a little older, they can
help with the chores like laying the table, watering the plants, etc.
-
If all goes well, they should be left
to manage their own time when it comes to their academics and social life.
Parents should only interfere if they feel their children are wandering
off track.
-
Children should be given responsibilities
and held accountable if they do not fulfil their duties. This will give
children a sense of importance and they will feel that their parents trust
them to do the job.
-
Physical fitness and strength is an
essential part of being competent and self-reliant. Children must be encouraged
to do sport and other outdoor activity.
-
Allow children to set their own goals,
unless you feel they are taking the easy way out and you know they are
capable of much more.
-
Leave them alone for short periods of
time so that they learn to entertain themselves.
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Last, but not least, remember that you're
not going to be around forever to hold your children's hands and protect
them from all the pitfalls they might encounter in life. It is in their
best interest to be self-reliant.
The don'ts:
-
If children want to try out something
new, parents shouldn't hover around looking like they're waiting for disaster
to strike or constantly giving them instructions about the 'right' way
to go about things. Leave the children to their own devices, otherwise
they'll grow up being scared of their own shadows.
-
Parents shouldn't rush to their children's
aid every time they come to them with a problem. Encourage them to think
it out for themselves and if they're well and truly stuck, guide them to
the answer. Avoid spoonfeeding your children. They'll never learn to think
of themselves.
-
Don't set impossibly high standards
for your children or load them with responsibilities they will find difficult
to cope with. This could backfire and your children may feel that they
are not capable of achieving anything.
-
Don't make your approval conditional
on success. Praise them for their effort.
-
Don't label them 'stupid' if they haven't
been able to handle responsibility or cope with a task assigned to them.
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