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Preconception Topics..

You are here : home > Preconception > Think before getting Pregnant > Spacing Your Children > Comments


Name: shailaja
Country: India
the perfect age gap between children is 3 yrs

Name: shailaja
Country: India
the perfect age gap between children is 3 yrs

Name: Momofgab
Country: Philippines
hi! my son is now 14 months old and my husband and i are talking about having another child again by the time my son gets 2 yrs. we only want to have 2 kids so i think the age gap is ok. im turning 34 this year and i want to see my kids all grown up by the time i reach 55 or 60.

Name: mini
Country: India
i am planing for my second child and my first child is 8y old . this artical is very helpful for me to decide positively.

Name: Niyati
Country: India
spacing the age gap between the two children is important. firstly the mother needs to recover from her previous pregancy and secondly the child's emotional, psychological and physical growth should not be hampered in a rush to have a second baby. after all its the quality time, unconditional love and affection and bonding of husband and wife with each other and the child is the most which matters. any compromise on the above will only leave you with a guilt of not being a wonderful parent. i guess this issue of spacing the child gap is very critical..but it's all in the mind. just go by your inner feeling....listen to your own self!! rest god is there to equip you with the neccessary challenges coming ahead.

Name: anand
Country: India
hai sir i have small boy 9 month old.basically i am want to make him cleavre and brillant.what are ways to make him active.

Name: radhika
Country: India
i am having only 2 dauters what should i do ? i m really confused should i go for 3 rd. as in india a baby boy is needed for old life also for running your family business ???? help me out

Name: Sagira
Country: U.S.A.
my son turned three in september and we're trying, so if we succeed this month the age gap will be 3 years and 10 months, which i think is great! my son breastfeeds and before this age really was very attached to me and seems to need me a lot. that's why we waited to try to conceive until now. child spacing depends on many things, including the first child's personality, personal and financial situations, health and a feeling of readiness!

Name: christy
Country: U.S.A.
i have 3 boys. a six,three,and 2yrs old. i feel as if my time is given to my two youngest more then my oldest. i suggest haveing them closer together for that reason.i do have to say that my six year old is a straight a stdent and i do help him everday of the week. its a lot of work to have two kids so close together but, in the end its worth it my 2 year old has been able to talk in complete sentences since i don't know when and my three year old picks up on everthing his brother is learning he already knows his home address so to me its all worth it to have kids so close together and a 6 year old helps out a lot. i love my boys and wouldn't trade them for the world.

Name: Meera
Country: India
hello i have a 5 and 1/2 years old daughter. recently i had a miscarriage after completing 21 weeks, after that i have become very much short temper. now i am really confused whether to have second baby or not, am i able to handle them or not!! please advice

Name: alison
Country: usa
just because your marriage isnt working dosent mean to abort him/her when i got pregnant with my 4 year old my xboyfriend left me. now im with my soon to be husband im 3 mounths pregnant

Name: alison
Country: usa
i have a 4 year old daughter and i found out im 3 mounths pregnant my soon to be husband knows. i know this is going to be hard for me. im so excited about haveing a baby 2 more mounths i can tell if my baby is a boy or girl.

Name: Rae
Country: usa
i have 3 kids, the first 2 are 14 months apart in age. we tried 3 times prior to our first child to carry full term, but miscarried all 3 times. i got pregnent again in 2001 and had my daughter in 2002, she will be 4 in a week! shortley after having her we moved to england and after just a few months we concieved or second daughter now 2 1/2 will be 3 in 2 months. i was so excited just to be able to have the first one, that when we got pregnant with the 2nd we didn't even think twice. i was nervous about possible misscarring again, but after the 3rd trimester all worries were gone. it wasn't long after she was born that we talked about when we wanted to have our next kid, we had been pregnant 5 times and married only 3 years...obviously fertal. i had to have surgery and couldn't allow myself to be pregnant so i got an non-hermonal iud. but as soon as i healed from my surgery i had my iud removed and wouldn't you know it i got pregnant the same day!!! wow.. no joke...exact science. now i have a beautiful baby boy who is 6 months old! my kids are all close in age and i wouldn't change it for the world. my two toddlers love the baby and are very helpful, but spend most of their day fighting with eachother or loveing and playing with eachother. i will not be having any more kids because i can't physically handle being pregnant again. 6 pregnancies is alot, but i am just happy and in love with the 3 i was blessed with. more would be great, but my body has given up on me and our finances don't even allow for us to have our own home. we are living in 2 bedrooms in our family's home. tight quarters are not a good thing for everybody. love my family, but need my own space and i want to raise my own kids...i don't like the grandparents trying to replace me.

Name: Princefan
Country: usa
well, i have a 13 month old and i'm 2 weeks pregnant. we are talking about aborting because our marriage is not so great lately. we want to try to make it work but feel a new baby will just end us. as for the spacing, it'd be perfect if our marriage were healthy. but it's not. so what should we do???? i have no clue. and i need to decide this week.

Name: Angelina
Country: australia
i am one of 15. we are mostly 1 or 2 years apart. being so close in age made for an amazing childhood! none of us feel that our parents had 'very little time to get to know us'. we have all been able to get to know our parents and aunts and uncles and grandparents (and cousins) very well, as they have all made time for us - we have never been, nor will be a nuclear family - our elders are in great demand, because we all want them to help pass on the traditions and culture. we enjoyed our childhood, with a mother who stayed at home even now while the youngest has just started uni. my parents are now retired, and looking after their growing number of grandchildren (the 57th grandchild is due in two months, with more on the way). their only regret (as they have told us a number of times) is that they got married late in life, and thus were able to have only 15 children - we are strongly catholic. my siblings and i are having large families, and cannot imagine living in the tiny families like some of our in-laws and neighbours - 1 or 2 children in massive, but empty, houses! also, (as an experienced teacher), the children from larger families are usually more sociable, and i have to say, not one of us has ever suffered from depression. perhaps it is more difficult in india, but the relatives who have been back seem to think times were a lot harder during their childhoods in india around ww1/ww2, but they still lived happy lives, and their parents were still able to afford music lessons, and send them to private schools, and universities, etc. i just happened upon this site, and am shocked that people seem to put a price to having a child, and would rather kill their own flesh and blood, so that they can have more comfort in material things. if you want happiness, for life, have more children. do not supress your natural urges to have another child - how can we all claim to be liberated women if we have to supress our desire for children. we are made, from a biological standpoint, to bear children, and are quite capable of doing so and coping very well mentally. it just seems that women from my generation onwards are being conditioned to believe that child rearing is a burden, and an economic disaster. take it from someone who has experience - children are the fruit of love and never a burden, and certainly far from an economic disaster (especially when the older ones start working, and of course necessities work out cheaper bought in bulk). my parents are retired, and do not collect a government pension. we support them, and they live very comfortably, in the large family home we grew up in, with my eldest brother and his wife and 11 children, and an assortment of other relatives.

Name: Bimal
Country: nepal
sometimes, if the children's age gap is less, then parents may feel a trouble in allowing them to share available resources. so, they will have a quarrel much often.

Name: Honest
Country: india
hi... i have a 19 month old baby girl. i got pregnanct accidently when she was 15 months old. i just was not ready for it... after a lot of talks over & over i thought of going ahead with it. but the anger & furstation of having a baby which i'm not ready for, was taken out on my baby. i changed my mind & aborted, 'cos i didnt want to bring up a child by even a single thought of not being wanted. i think we made a wise choice. i'll be conceving soon.

Name: confused
Country: india
i have a 4.2yrs old daughter.we wanted only one so that we can fulfill all her needs and demands.but now she feels lonely and asks me to bring a baby for her to play with.if i deliver a baby now the difference will be at least 5yrs.i fear that the elder one might end up being a second mom to the new one .

Name: Lesley
Country: usa
hello fellow mommies. i have a 1 year old and i am also 7 months pregnant. it makes them 13 months apart. the second was an "oops" but i have accepted it and look forward to the challenge. my family sibling's ages are: 28, 26, 21, 17 & 17 (twins), and 13. i am 14 years older than my youngest sibling, and 2 years younger than my oldest brother. (i was born 2nd) the spacing will work, depends on the parenting. i however, would rather have my kids close together, and get it over with...ha ha. although i notice most people say they regret not spending "enough time with the eldest kids" when they have another so close, i am exactly the opposite. i regret that i will not get to spend as much time with the 2nd as i did with the first. i mean, she had a year of me all to herself, now with my boy, he will never have that. that is just the way things are. i am looking forward to seeing them interact, and i know and understand that it is up to me as a parent to teach them to grow together. 2 kids in 2 years, now i can get skinny again and stay that way...ha ha. best of luck to everyone!

Name: tania
Country: mexico
hi, i'm 27 with a 9 months old baby, i'm not sure if i want mi baby to have a sibiling by age 2 or 3 but since i have only one brother 9 years older than me i think that its best to have vhildren close enough so they'll be able to share more as friends, and deminish the responsability that the oldest one feels for being like a role model or so. if somone has advises on the diference between getting a second child when your frist is 2 o 3 please let me know, i understand that 2 is a hard stage because is when they are leaving dipers and they start talking more fluently

Name: Jamie
Country: usa
we have a 16 1/2 month old daughter and are thinking about having another one sometime soon.i am hung up on the age gap and don't know what would be better, 2.5 years or closer to 3 years? i guess there is no real answer and i just have to stop worring about it so much, but reading everyone elses response really helped to see what others were doing.

Name: Cari
Country: usa
i am 10 weeks pregnant and i have a 6 month old son. the pregnancy was a complete surprise (i was on the pill). i'm worried for a few different reasons; will the baby take so much of my that i won't spend enough time with my son? i haven't lost the baby weight from my first pregnancy how hard is it going to be to lose double the weight? there are more questions on my mind but this would probably be a book by the time i was done. i know they are silly questions but can anyone relate? please help.

Name: toya
Country: usa
i have two boys,that are twelve months apart,ages two and took quite a while for my oldest to get used to having a baby brother,but now they play well together & act as if they are the best of friends.i wouldn't have it any other way! toya (26 yrs old)

Name: Jennifer
Country: usa
my son just turned one this month so i have been talking to my husband about having another. we would like our kids to be close in age and share the same interest. my husband is very concerned however that my oldest will not recieve adaquate attention if he is made the big brother to soon. i think jealousy is always a factor with a new baby and that they will grow to be close friends. any advice?

Name: Shari
Country: usa
to all the mothers who are nervous about having children close together: i am a young mom (25) who has three children. my son is 2 1/2- my daughter is exactly 1 year and one week younger than him. (i got pregnant when he was 3 mnths old). i also have a 6 month old son (14 month gap between him and his sister). our house is extremely busy but we love it! the kids get along wonderfully and they love the new baby- wouldn't have it any other way.

Name: Deola
Country: nigeria
i am a 29yr old mother of two (4 and 3yrs) my two kids are only 15 months apart i'm pregnant again after three years and my husband doesn't think it nice cos he wanted just 2 kids so the family can be a potable four!

Name: Mitchelle Matharu
Country: usa
hi all after reading ur article ,well i must say it kind of gave me some relief and support..we planned for a smaller age gap between our two kids.we have two girls 16 1/2 months apart.its been a rough road till now for us..but i keep reminding myself that maybe life will get alot easier in the future..i keep feeling guilty that i could not give more of my time to my elder one.

Name: mom 32
Country: canada
i have a beautiful two year old daughter. i have wanted to try for a second child for awhile, however my husband has been putting the breaks on. he has finally agreed to start trying next month. this will space the children at least three years apart. i am actually glad he made me wait until now. to be honest i feel that it's nice to have time for us to recover as a family. also i am thankful for all the wonderful one on one my two year old has gotten to date. she gets more independant every month. i think this choice really depends on the nature/needs of the first child, and what the parents can handle.

Name: Edwina
Country: australia
i am one of five children. i too am closer to my elder sister 8 years my senior, compared to my other sister who is 4 years older. i have a 23 month old son. we were going to be having another baby but we had a miscarriage. now instead of having a 2 and a half year gap, we will probably have a 3 year gap. any advantages of a 3 year gap? and has anyone had a 3 year gap then had no. 2 and 3 close together?

Name: Fia
Country: australia
yeah i dont really mind that much having my kids close together, i am also 23, 24 this year but i guess its a good thing being young and having kids because you are growing with them! me & my sister were 15 months apart and we are very close too. thanks

Name: nicki
Country: england
i am a young mum(23)of 2 aged 5 and 7 and i am now thinking of planning another i think it is up to the parents if they are ready and can cope with how ever many childern they have before and they want another then they should go for it age gap does'nt matter there are 13months between my sister and i and we are so close.

Name: Fia
Country: australia
this is a message referring to new mom, i am sort of in the same situation as you, my baby is 11 weeks tomorrow, and i took a test today and i found out i was pregnant again, im not at all ready for this, and have mixed feelings, but i think you'll be ok. i have 4 children all up, i have a 6 year old ( step son ) a 5,3 & 11 week old daughters and probably 2 weeks pregnant now. i had 3 c-section with all my girls and am afraid of my scar rupturing, or the risks, so if anyone has had sort of the same experience please give me some advice????

Name: mommy21
Country: usa
my son is one year. my hubby and i are going to get pregnant this month, [january 2005] in oct. or dec. [making the space 21, 29 or 32 months] i'm unsure about which would be better!!!! please help!

Name: Laura
Country: usa
i think having children close together is ideal. yes, it is busy but they are very close with each other. i have four kids. 6 months, 4, 5, and 7 years old. we are even thinking of having another one. i would have not done it any differently. it is also nice that i am a young mom (32) and able to keep up with all of their energy. i also have a great husband and my mom is near by. we planned on having our kids spaced out more in years but it just didn't happen that way. i am so happy that it didn't work out that way.

Name: jacquie
Country: canada
i just gave birth to my third son in three years. he is 7 weeks old. my oldest just turned 3 sept./04 and loves his new brother to pieces, but looks to his 17 month old brother as his playmate. i find it very busy right now, but it is almost easier in a way since they are eachothers playmate and we don't have to be that all the time for them. i like having them under 2 years apart as they don't tend to get jelous of the baby since they haven't have years of single child attention. they also learn important childhood lessons earlier such as sharing and caring and controlling emotions. if you have a helpful spouse and alot of energy i highly recommend having siblings close together.

Name: Oneonly
Country: usa
the articles are very intresting. i have a 2 years old son. and now i am confused whether to have second child or not. first i use to think i should have one only. but my friends said you should have always have two its better. any suggestions. i would be thankful to you.

Name: kenkazi
Country: other
the most important consideration should be the breastfeeding length (at least 1 1/2 years), mom's health and educational/ self development, and the health of the marriage...

Name: Fourkids
Country: usa
i have four children the first two are two and a half years apart then there is a four year gap and the last two are exactly two years apart. through my experience my personal opinion is that two and a half years is a wonderful gap between children. i think the two years was almost too close together but depending on your children and their demeanors also. we are planning to have our fifth child and we are aiming for the two and half year mark.

Name: Megh
Country: india
i have two sisters and we all are spaced 4-5 years. funny thing is i am closest to my eldest sister, who is 9 years elder to me. both of us unite against the middle one!

Name: manoj singhvi
Country: india
anything between 2-7 years is ok. that depends on the circumstances of the parents , their health , their convenience.

Name: verrah
Country: kenya
i come from a family where each person is 2 years older than the younger one, this is a great advantage because we understand each other's needs. we communicate very well and we have close relationship with each other. i think an age gap of 2 years is not a bad idea.

Name: new mom
Country: usa
i have a beautiful 4 month old boy, and i love motherhood. i just took a pregnancy test and i am pregnant. i was excited at first, but now very worried. is there anyone who has had a second child so soon from the first? could really use some help about how to handle all this.

Name: 2 girls
Country: usa
there are 11 years between my two daughters, not an "accident" and not a second marriage. it's been wonderful for both of them. the baby adores her big sister and the feeling is mutual. while at times it is difficult to manage the demands of a todder vs. a pre-teen we could not be happier.

Name: Parveen
Country: india
very good article!

Name: financewiz
Country: usa
there are 11 years between my brother and i and i am still suffering the consequences of being "the baby" at age 40! i have not been allowed to grow up and my brother has had a detrimental effect on my self-confidence throughout my life because of the way i was psychologically abused by him. no, he is not a bad person, but he was allowed to "control" me as a child. now, i will always be his stupid, fat, unworthy little sister that will never be at his level no matter how old i am. i can't even explain how this has affected(infected!) my life. i am married, have 3 great children, a house, cars, etc, but i still can't seem to find my way to adulthood.

Name: seafolly
Country: germany
we decided to have a baby after 7 years of being married and i had a wonderful pregnancy. exactly one year after our first daughter was born we successfully tried for our second child. after another perfect pregancy and underwater birh in a birthcenter we now have two little girls only 21 month apart. we really enjoy having them so close. they have similar interests and enjoy playing together. of course its a lot of work and i would only recommend getting pregnant again when your body has completely recovered. so far i only see advantages in having two children close together.

Name: Harshita
Country: india
before i had my first child, i had decided that i would either have twins (if possible), or have them as close together as possible, preferably within 12 months, so that i would be done with babyhood at the earliest. but since i had a c-section, i was advised by my doctor to atleast wait for about a year and a half before trying for the second. that automatically made the age gap between my kids 2.5 years. now they are both past their toddler years, and i am so glad that i had kept atleast a 2.5 year gap, becasue this way i could really specnd time with my older one.

Name: sksingh
Country: india
the age gap of 3-5 year is good enough. it gives both the advantages.

Name: Reema
Country: india
very well written article.

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