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The
Only Child
- Anuradha
More and more couples are opting
to have just one child. Keep some points in mind while raising your 'only
child'
Studies show that more and more women
are opting to have just one child. The reasons for this are quite varied.
Some decide not to opt for a second child in order to balance a career
with motherhood. Others have financial constraints. Bringing up a child
these days is quite expensive with education taking up a major chunk of
the parent's financial resources.
Hence, parent's feel that the pressure
on them will be too much with more than one child.
But the reason for stopping at just
one child isn't always financial. Women are getting married at a later
age than they did previously. The delay can set the stage for secondary
infertility -- a woman's inability to become pregnant a second time.
Whatever the reasons couples opt
to have a single child, they can be rest assured that "Only Child" isn't
the dirty phrase it was a generation ago.
In fact it is now a parenting trend.
A paper published in 1888 maligned the only child by describing him/her
as "selfish and self centered". However with the passing of a century the
findings of the paper are no longer relevant and further studies have shown
that there is not much difference between a first-born and a single child.
In fact it has been noticed rthat single children have higher achievement
levels because of the undivided attention, support and involvement they
get from their parent's in all their activities.
Tiger Woods, Indira Gandhi, Issac
Newton were all single children! And while learning to share and adjust
are normally learnt from siblings, these can also be learnt as a result
of spending 8 hours at school each day!!
Bringing up an
only child is not without its challenges:
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The child is the center of the parent's
universe and hence their expectations are high. The pressure on the child
to be a "super child" is immense. Learn to tone down your expectations
and instead concentrate on making your child a good human being rather
than a super human being!
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Resist the temptation to overindulge
your child as this gives him the mentality that "I always get what I want",
which can cause serious problems as he grows up.
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Create opportunities for your child
to interact with a peer group either by taking him to play areas where
he interacts with other kids or enrolling him as a member of a club, where
he can make friends.
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The only child tends to have a strong
bond with his parent's, which can soon turn into dependence for everything
from homework to entertainment.
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Remember: It is not necessary to keep
your child happy all the time by finding things to keep him occupied. Reduce
your child's dependence on you and let him find things to do and how to
do them without your involvement.
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Encourage your child to share things
with friends, cousins and show your appreciation by rewarding him with
words of encouragement.
So avoid these common mistakes parents
make and make a positive contribution to your child's development.
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