Almost everyone finds it difficult to say no. Saying no would not be difficult anymore if you followed these guidelines.
Reema was in a great hurry. She walked out of the classroom managing the piles of files in her hand. 'So much work to do,' she thought. She realised that someone was calling her from behind. It was her friend Nitu. 'Will you do a favor for me?' Nitu asked. 'What is it about?' 'Will you help me to complete my pending assignment?' asked Nitu. Reema could visualise the number of assignments waiting to get finished on her side. She knew it is very hard to say no to friends but she firmly but politely refused to do a favor.
You may add on to your stress levels by saying yes just to please others. You have to be straightforward while saying no. There is no point in beating around the bush. It is not that hard to learn to say no and be respected. Learn some ways to say no, without feeling the guilt.
Be firm
You are inviting a lot of burden on you by saying yes to something which you cannot deliver. No matter whether you are saying no to your friend, your colleague, or your partner, be firm. You have to be straightforward. If you will not then the other person might be under the impression that you may change your decision. You can say, 'I really have a tight schedule. I am sorry but I really cannot do it.'
Be polite
You can refuse to do something and still can be respectful. Your buddies are planning a weekend picnic but you have to spend time with your family. Saying no should not be difficult in such a situation. Instead of saying, 'It is impossible' say 'I cannot come this time. I have not got time to spend with my family since a while.' Is it easy to say no without sounding rude? Of course it is.
Give simple explanations
A friend asking to borrow money can be turned down without sounding disrespectful. Keep your explanations short and simple. When you are denying a particular work due to your tight schedule, you need not disclose your entire to-do list for the week. It is true that saying no to a friend will be awkward, but you need not feel obliged to say yes. A friend may pressurise you to say yes. But you can give appropriate reason for your denial.
No need to give detailed explanations
We have a tendency to give into a particular demand, as we do not want to make someone upset. Why to ask for chaos when you just have to say no to stay away from the turmoil. You should not feel obligated to give detail explanation for your refusal. A friend may ask you the reason behind saying no. The kind of explanation you should give depends upon the kind of relation you have with the person. If it is your partner to whom you are saying no, you may feel bound to give deep clarification.
Ask for time to think
If you think that you need to have a second look at your schedule, say so. If a friend is asking you to come for a shopping with her you can say, 'let me think about it, I will let you know as soon as possible if I can come.' If your friend's request matches with your schedule you can go ahead. Do not over promise. You may end up disappointing your friend. Do respond to the person, whether it is a yes or a no. Never say that you will see and then forget about it.
Be empathetic
Before you turn down the demands of people, you need to analyse their request. You have to be in their shoes for a moment. How genuine is their demand? Are they really in trouble? If so think to mend your other priorities a little to help out the one in need. Even you may need the help of that person.
Do not lie
You do not have to hide the truth while giving the reason of your denial. You need not tell your friend that you cannot lend him money as you had too many expenses that month when the real reason is that you do not believe in lending money to friends. You need not feel guilty if the reason behind refusal is that you have to keep time for your self. You need not sacrifice the time you have set aside as a leisure time.
Why I end up saying yes when I want to say no? Why I feel obliged to say yes? Why I change my mind easily when I have already said no? These questions must be flooding your mind but not anymore. You have got the answers to all your questions. Is your teenage daughter partying too much? Is your child neglecting his studies? Are your in-laws demanding too much from you? It is time to say no. Keep in mind the Spanish proverb which says, 'Better a friendly refusal than an unwilling consent.'
Do you find it hard to say no? What kind of situation have you faced by saying yes when you wanted to say no? Is it possible to say no without hurting anyone's feelings? To share your tips, views, and experiences, click here.
