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Teaching
the Art of Polite Conversation
Children are prone
to interrupting
Children are definitely not born
good conversationalists. As a matter of fact, their self-absorption leads
them to conduct monologues rather than dialogue. They feel that whatever
it is they want to say is of earth-shattering importance and everyone,
particularly parents, should stop whatever they're doing and lend them
a ear.
Thus, you will find children blithely
interrupting their parents' telephone conversations, meetings, conversations
with their friends and their work. Parents who are trying to discuss some
important issue or working on files that they have brought home from work
find their children intruding on their thoughts, conversations, time and
space.
You may indulge your children a few
times, but not every time they interrupt you. At some point your annoyance
is going to get the better of you and you will snap at them. Soon, this
will become a habit and they will turn a deaf ear to your protests and
continue to interrupt you thinking that it is their right. You have to
get the message across that your existence and that of other people in
the world does not revolve around them. They must understand that they
cannot expect other people's unqualified attention as their due. In fact,
they can only expect that if they return the favour and listen to what
other people have to say too.
Teaching your
children to be polite
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Be a good listener yourself. Listen
to your child and guide her so that she knows when she should be listening.
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Instead of nagging her or being short
with her when she interrupts, develop a less aggressive way of telling
her that she has to wait. May be you can lay your hand gently on her arm
or request her in a firm, but kind tone to wait.
-
Remember that she is a child after all,
so don't have unreasonable expectations and make her wait for a long time
before you get back to her. It is well known that patience is a virtue
that is rare even in adults.
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If she has forgotten what she wanted
to say in the interim, do not be dismissive and say that it could not have
been important to begin with.
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Tell your child not to interrupt you
when you are on the telephone by speaking. Suggest to her that she could
tug at your arm or communicate her need to speak to you in some other non-verbal
fashion. Tell her that you will acknowledge her need to speak to you by
gesturing that she wait so she knows that you have heard her.
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If your child still refuses to learn,
then when she interrupts your telephone conversation the next time, remain
calm and ignore her. If possible, go into another room and lock her out.
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If you know that you're about to have
an important conversation and want to be safe from interruptions, give
your child advance warning that you're going to be busy for a little while
and give her something like a colouring book or a puzzle that will occupy
her for some time.
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You can play a game with your child
where you take turns interrupting each other while the other is trying
to say something. This way your child will learn just how annoying it is
to be interrupted.
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Your child will learn good manners if
you exhibit them yourself. Hence, if you have to break in on any conversation,
make sure that you say "Excuse me…"
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Do not forget to praise your child when
she lets you get on with your work or conversations without interrupting
you.
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