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Hair Pulling
Ouch! She Pulled My Hair!! Little Avni sits on the table munching
on some chocolate. She quietly sits like a tiger ready to attack,
watching her brother reach out for the last piece of chocolate. As
soon as her older brother's fingers touch the piece, she springs forth
her hand and pulls his hair. Ouch! Many toddlers have a bad
habit of pulling hair. It is similar behavior to punching, kicking
or biting. There are many reasons for why toddlers pull hair and
it is important to understand those reasons and stop the habit before it
becomes any worse.
A means of Communication Pulling hair is sometimes seen as
a means of communication both to the parent and to the sibling. The
toddler might pull his older sibling's hair because he might want to signal
to the sibling the consequences that will occur if the sibling ever takes
that last piece of chocolate again. The child might also be trying
to get his parent's attention in order that the parent tell the older sibling
to share the food. Either way the toddler makes sure that his point
gets across-that he wants the last piece of chocolate!
Stopping the Hair Pulling One way you can stop this inappropriate
behavior is by showing the toddler that pulling hair will not help him
get what he desires. One must not analyze the situation too deeply.
For example, do not think that the toddler pulled the sibling's hair because
the sibling was being mean and then take pity on the toddler. By
taking pity on the toddler, the toddler will come to learn that if he pulls
hair, you will feel sorry for him. This is the wrong message you
want to get across to your toddler because this will aggravate your child's
inappropriate behavior even more. Thus, for example if your child
pulls his sibling's hair for the last piece of chocolate, give the last
piece of chocolate back to the sibling. This will prove that you
do not agree with the child's behavior and you will not side with him if
he pulls hair.
Try a time out Time outs are another way to correct
your child's behavior. This will cause the toddler to realize that
pulling hair is wrong and every time he does it, he will get a time out.
Do not get frustrated if your child continues on pulling hair even after
a numerous time outs. Frustration on your part will encourage the
hair pulling even more. By keeping calm and continuously giving him
time outs without fail will help your toddler learn that hair pulling is
wrong.
Talking to your child After the time-out, remember to talk to your child and ask him why what he did was wrong. This will cause your toddler to realize that the matter is very serious and you will not tolerate it any more. It will even help him think for himself of why hair pulling is not right. However, do not ever pull your toddler's hair to show him how it feels. This will encourage hair pulling because he sees you as a parent demonstrating that behavior. Pulling hair is a very serious matter
that should be stopped. It is a form of behavior that your toddler
expresses to show how he feels and what he wants. One must point
out to him that verbal communication is the right way to express one's
feelings and violence is not the answer. The earlier you try to stop
the behavior, the easier it will be for your toddler to change his behavior.
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