Sibling Fights

2. Your children are having a bitter fight, throwing things at each other. What do you do?

1. Tell them to shut up and stop fighting. They might damage the furniture.
   
   
2. Tell them to stop. Even if they do not, they will soon get tired and stop anyway. Fighting is an integral part of growing up.
   
   
3. Spank them. Warn them that the consequences will be worse next time. If it still does not work, lock them up in separate rooms.
   
   
4. Hold them firmly and explain why fighting is not considered good behaviour. Ask each child to identify his mistakes, and list ways he could have done it better.

Adult Movies and Your Child

3. You discover a porn movie in your fifteen-year-old son's room. What do you do?

1. Watch the movie and then keep it back where you found it.
   
   
2. Get more movies for him. Boys will be boys. He has to discover sex eventually.
   
   
3. Confiscate the movie and scold him. Punish him by making him write "I will not watch adult movies" 100 times in his book.
   
   
4. Discuss sex honestly with him without imposing moral standards. Inform him about the dangers of HIV and unprotected sex.

Scores

Your parenting style may be the combination of more than one of the parenting styles mentioned in the following sections.

Mostly As — Permissive (Uninvolved) Parent

Parents in this category are uninvolved in their children's lives, which may stem from a belief that children should be allowed to do what they want with minimum parental interference. Many parents in this category usually do not have quality time for their children, which in rare instances, can border on sheer neglect.

Mostly Bs — Permissive (Indulgent) Parent

Parents in this category love to indulge their children. At the same time, they do not demand responsible behaviour. They avoid any sort of confrontation with their children. Many parents in this category believe in freedom, and think that children should not be told what to do.

Mostly Cs — Authoritarian Parent

Parents in this category play the part of the dictator. Orders and rules are meant to be followed without an explanation. Punishment is meant to act as a deterrent for deviant behaviour. Some parents in this category are highly intrusive, and keep an eye on each aspect of their children's lives.

Mostly Ds — Authoritative Parent

Parents in this category are authoritative without being authoritarian or too dictatorial. They set clear standards for the behaviour to be expected from their children. Rules are explained and discussed with children. They use firm discipline but avoid harsh punishment. Children are taught to be assertive and socially responsible.

What does Research say about Parenting Styles?

Research has clearly shown a strong correlation between various parenting styles and the child's performance in various domains such as academic performance, problem behaviour, and social skills. Remember, several factors affect how a child will grow up, and parenting is just one of them.

In general:

• Children with uninvolved parents perform poorly at school.
  
  
• Children with indulgent parents tend to have high self-esteem and good social skills but are more prone to problem behaviour and poor performance in school. Accepting responsibility is difficult for many of them.
  
  
• Children with authoritarian parents perform reasonably well in school and stay out of problem behaviour. However, they are more likely to have lower self-esteem, poor social skills, and higher levels of depression.
  
  
• Children with authoritative parents are less likely to indulge in drug abuse. On an average, they perform well in school. Their social skills are high, and they have high self-esteem.