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Join the Debate
Do fathers help out enough with the children? Tell us what you think.
Men often believe that if they are the breadwinners of their family and their wives are at home, looking after kids is mom's job. After all, how fair is it for them to be slogging it out all day at work, only to return home and start changing diapers, cleaning up after kids or handling tantrums?
Stay-at-home-moms spend all day with children. Looking after kids is not an easy job, as all moms - and dads know (but may not admit it). Think about it. Work is intellectually stimulating, and you're not spending every minute of the day toiling hard. Meetings over lunch, brainstorming session, office gossip... work can be fun! Would you rather be at home running after screaming children, or would you rather go to the office?
Work at the office stops at a certain time, but you can never take time off from being a mother. You may be fast asleep, but when your baby starts crying in the middle of the night, throws up all over her clothes and sheet, requires a feed and a change of diaper, you can't say, "Hey, it's my time off!" At times, you do need a break, and if you don't have a maid for the child, then should your husband take over when he's home?
Perhaps he doesn't need to completely take over, but surely he can lend a helping hand. He's been working all day in the office, but you too have been working all day at home.
Maybe he's been working very hard, and is exhausted when he gets back. But in such cases, spending time with your child can be very relaxing and de-stressing. Changing a nappy after tallying numbers all day can be a relief, but changing nappy after nappy after nappy is not as much fun.
Also, fathers, realize that it's not just about the fact that your work is out of the house, while your wife needs to take over at home. It's also about bonding with your child. Just pinching your child's cheeks once in a while doesn't equal to bonding. The more you do for your child, the more you will appreciate and love each other, and the deeper will be your bond.
But on the other hand, when you have a maid, in-laws or others who help you with your children, do you still expect husbands to lend a helping hand?
Does your husband help out with the kids, or does he leave it to you? Are you happy with the amount of time he spends with your children, or do you wish he spent more?
Fathers, do you think you spend enough effort or time on your children? Do you think your wives are justified if they want you to help out at home? In certain situations, like when your wife has maids or other help, isn't expecting you also to chip in, unfair? How about where both of you are working? Who does more work at home?
Fathers and mothers, husbands and wives, hop aboard and air your views.
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