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Rules to Remember
6 golden rules for raising amazing children.
1. Always have your child's when talking to them, and
give them all the information necessary to do what is expected, appropriate to their level of understanding.
If you give them less information, they will be confused and will mess up the task, with the result
that you will get annoyed, and their confidence in their abilities will decrease. So if you want your elder child to iron a shirt for you, make sure you tell them that the iron should not be very hot or the shirt will burn, or that they should iron it upside down so any embroidery or print on it does not get damaged. There is no point in giving your child half-baked instructions and then yelling at him when things go wrong.
2. Every time your child does something, always provide feedback. In fact, you should provide your child with a steady stream of feedback to let him know that he is on the right track. This will encourage him to repeat desired behaviour. So if your child takes the initiative to dust his bedroom without being told, instead of telling him that he missed a spot, praise him for his behaviour. This will encourage him to repeat it, and gradually he will improve.
3. Praise is necessary but not sufficient. Don't just praise a certain task and leave it at that. Be more descriptive and let your child know exactly what you have liked about his behaviour. For example, if your child willingly shared his chocolates with a friend, don't just praise him by vaguely saying "What a good boy." Instead, tell him that you were very happy to see him being so generous. Go on to talk about how generosity is an admirable and desirable quality and about how being greedy is counter-productive. To facilitate healthy self-esteem provide generous
amounts of valuing, opportunities to develop competency, opportunities for doing good deeds, and structure.
4. You don't have to hit your child when he does something wrong, but you must make sure that he is punished so he does not repeat such behaviour. It is OK for children to pay for behaviour that is unacceptable, potentially dangerous or harmful.
5. Negotiating offers a process where both sides can come away winners. Parents shouldn't always feel that "No means no" unless of course it is something they feel strongly about. Sometimes however it is always good to strike a bargain with children. If they want to stay up late to watch a much loved and eagerly anticipated show on television, make them promise to finish their homework early or sleep an additional hour in the afternoon. Sometimes parents have to remember to let go a little.
6. Be aware of how you are interacting with others in the home. Children are more aware than we sometimes realize. If you shout at the servants, your children will follow your cue and will also shout at them. If
you want to teach your child to be civil to others, you need to be civil to them too. Never make fun of relatives in front of your children, or they will grow up disrespecting all relatives, and distancing themselves from family.
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