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Work or Home?
Why do you work? Is the reason financial? Do you truly enjoy your work? Or do you just want to keep yourself gainfully occupied?
33-year-old Sita is faced with a dilemma. She rejoined work after her second child turned two and now wonders whether she made the right decision. Sita is torn between wanting to stay at home and wanting to continue working. She often feels that being a stay-at-home mother may be best for her children and husband, but she's not sure if she wants to give up her job. How does a mother decide?
First of all, figure out why you want to work. Is the reason financial? Do you truly enjoy your work? Or do you just want to keep yourself gainfully occupied?
If the reason is financial, you should continue working, because having inadequate finances can lead to further problems and frustrations later on. Having a comfortable standard of living helps make life smoother, and you should definitely work towards achieving that.
If you work mainly because you enjoy your work or love your job, try and compare the joy you feel while working to the emotional burdens on your mind regarding your kids. Do you miss your children terribly when you are at home and want to be with them? Is spending time away from them upsetting you? If the answer is yes, then perhaps you would gain more satisfaction being at home with your children. These days more and more jobs allow for working from home. Perhaps you could try and work towards establishing a set-up at home. Your first reaction may be: "My job cannot be done from home, but then stop and really think about it." Perhaps your present employer will not allow you to do so, but another employer may not mind. Perhaps you could start your own business, and have a small office at home. Or perhaps you could simply try and work part-time.
Another question you need to consider is: Who is looking after your children when you are at work? Do you live with in-laws or other relatives who love your children and would provide them with proper care and nurturing in your absence? Do you have a reliable maid, babysitter or governess who you can trust to look after your children well? If the answer to these is yes, you needn't feel guilty about leaving your children unattended. Remember, it is the quality of time spent with your children that matters and not the quantity.
Don't be a martyr. If your work is demanding and so are your children, you may feel like you are burning both ends of the candle. Don't sacrifice your sleep or your health. All you really need to do is to organize. If you quit your job to look after the house, you will lose your monthly paycheck and the job you love. Instead, organize paid help for your housework. It may be expensive, but if it helps you keep your job without sacrificing your health, it's worth it. After all, you earn to make your life more comfortable, so don't lose sight of this fact.
If you are working only to keep yourself gainfully occupied, but would really like to spend more time with the children, consider chucking up your job. There are hundreds of ways you can keep yourself gainfully occupied. Join a course, go back to studies and earn a degree. Write a thesis. Go to the museum, for plays, and imbibe some culture, and play with your children. That's all the gainful occupation you really need.
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