 |
Fatherhood
Children, especially boys, tend to idealise their fathers when they are young. Every little boy wants to grow up to be just like daddy, and every little girl thinks their father is the smartest man on this earth. It's not very easy to be a good dad, but it's not that difficult either. What does take more effort however is to be a superb dad. A dad your children will truly enjoy spending time with, not just when they are kids, but even when they are adults.
Be a dad your children can talk to
If your children can sit down and discuss their hopes, fears, dreams, aspirations and love-life troubles with, kudos to you. You're a great dad. Not all children communicate well with their children. Communication is often left to the mothers, while the fathers dispense advice as and when needed. Don't expect all conversation to centre around the dinner table. Go to your children's bedrooms and talk to them about school, their teachers, their friends. Remember that the conversation cannot be one-sided. For your children to open up to you, you too need to open up to them. This doesn't mean you unburden your problems on your children, but what you should do is talk to them about your work, about office incidences. As they grow older, you could even indulge in some harmless family gossip with them.
Keep your eyes open and know what is going on around you. Kids in this manner tend to be much smarter than their parents. They pick up on vibes easily and with uncanny insight. Fathers on the other hand often don't know what their children are up to. They tend to be too caught up with other things on their mind to realize what is happening right in front of their noses. So be attuned to your children's feelings. If your child comes home from school feeling upset, go up to her and ask her what the matter is. And if it is something which seems to you to be a silly reason to be upset, don't voice your opinion. It may be silly to you, but to your child it is important enough. So don't wave the topic away by telling her not to bother about such stupid things. Your daughter is not going to just get up and think - oh, I feel so much better now! Instead, she's just going to think that you don't understand her at all. Simply being their while she unburdens her mind, discussing her problem with her, will help her feel better.
Don't shy away from having discussions about your teenage children's love lives. While you shouldn't pry - after all, your children are definitely not going to discuss intimate details with you, you should not consider the topic off limits. Do this by showing that you are relaxed about topics on love. Tell your children how you met your wife. Point out a cute boy every now and then to your daughter. It is perfectly normal for children to go through feelings for the opposite sex as they grow up, and by keeping the topic closed for discussion, you are only shutting them out from discussing their feelings from you. All they will do is turn to their friends.
To add your views on
this article or read others comments Click Here
Back to Previous Page
More on Raising Children Index
Email this Article to a Friend
|
