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Fear
of the Dark
Kavita's 6-year-old
daughter, Tisha, was extremely fearful of the dark. As Tisha had no siblings,
she had no one to share the room with, and she refused to sleep alone.
Every night Kavita was compelled to lie down with her until she fell asleep.
Often, Tisha would wake up at night, realise that no one was in the room,
and crawl into her parents' bed at night.
Does this sound
like your child?
Many children have profound fears of the dark, and often, parents mistakenly ignore this fear, thinking it will go away with time. However, this does not always happen, and children carry this fear well into adulthood, by which time it develops into a phobia. It makes sense to tackle this fear right now. Here are some tips to help you handle this situation.
Switch on a night
light
Your child
may be afraid of the prospect of entering a pitch-black room. If this is
the case, leave a night lamp on in your child's room to allay your child's
fears somewhat. In addition, if your child wakes up at night, he will not
find himself in darkness, so will not start panicking.
Get a dimmer
Alternatively,
install a dimmer light in your child's bedroom. Turn it down to a level
your child is comfortable with. You could gradually dim the room further,
as time progresses.
If this does
not work, and your child still finds it difficult to enter a darkened room,
his fear may be even more profound.
Let your child
discuss his fears
Speak to your
child about what exactly it is that he is afraid of. Often, a child will
be disturbed by something he saw on the television, which sparks his imagination
and causes him to picture ghosts all around him. So if your child says
that he is afraid of ghosts and supernatural beings, don't laugh off his
answer by saying that he is just being silly, and that there are no such
things as ghosts. Let him speak about his fears. The more the speaks about
them, the more he will be able to identify what exactly it is that he is
afraid off. While speaking about it, he may realize that his fears are
unfounded.
Speak to him
gently, and have a question answer session. Speak to him about God, who
is all-powerful, and will not let ghosts harm him. Place a picture of God
next to his bedside table, so he feels as though he is being looked after.
Provide him with
incentives
Once you have
spoken to him, play a little game. Encourage him to lie down alone in the
room for a few minutes. Let him see you standing outside the door, perhaps
a little far away, so he knows he can run out anytime. Gradually keep increasing
the time he has to lie down before running out. Gift him with a star every
time he stays in his bedroom for the designated time period, and after
he has gathered a certain number of stars, get him a small present.
Play games
Play games
like 'dark room' with your child, so he grows accustomed to being in the
dark.
Prevent your children
from watching too much television
Do not let
your children watch horror movies, or movies with gruesome scenes or a
lot of violence. Younger children should not be allowed to watch movies
at all, as you never know what disturbs them. Don't be surprised if they
are disturbed by a music video with flashing lights and painted faces,
shown on MTV! Let them stick to watching cartoons alone.
Similarly,
if an older child watches a horror movie or even a murder mystery, he might
have trouble sleeping alone at night. Stick to watching comedies, until
your child is old enough to conquer his fears.
Make sure your
child sleeps in his own bed
Often children
want to crawl into their parents bed if they are afraid at night. Discourage
this habit, as it becomes hard to break. If your child comes running to
you, you should escort him back to his room. Sit with your child for a
short while, and comfort him until he starts feeling better. You could
leave the room when he is still awake, if he is feeling better by then,
or after he falls asleep.
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