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Is
your child innocent?
While it is
a practice to equate children with God, there is often an undiscovered
bleak side to every child's personality. Children have inborn seeds of
the good and the bad. And it is the duty of the parents, first to understand
the child's mental make-up and then to channelise him/her in the right
direction. Recent studies in modern-day psychiatry have shown that children
should not be taken for granted as angels. That does not mean you suspect
the child from the early years. But as renowned psychiatrist Dr R K Anand
says in his book (The Penguin India Guide To Child Care), ``You shall
accept your `angel-cum devil ' as an individual having his own personality
and out of this acceptance shall follow the loving tender care. Limits
will be set. Firmness will come naturally to you.''
Quite interestingly,
it is not just modern science, but our own Indian folk literature which
stresses the importance of checking the possibilities of your child's mind.
We present you four such examples:
Beware of the
child:
Kashmiri Pandit
Someshwar compiled the folk tales as part of the collection Katha Sareet
Sagar in the 11th century AD. One of these tales throws special light on
child psychology. A man had two wives, of which the senior
one died a premature death. The responsibility of the dead woman's son
was then entrusted to the junior one. The lady did not quite like the step-son
and obviously favoured her natural sons. The discrimination showed on the
motherless child's physique who turned out to be very skinny and emaciated.
But the father was very worried about his child's health. However, the
child thought of a trick. Once he told the father, ''Dad, I have two fathers."
The man was taken aback. He dismissed the boy's statement. However, the
child was successful in injecting an element of distrust in the father's
mind. The man started doubting his wife's character and illtreated her.
The woman was quite puzzled about the change in the husband's behaviour.
She then approached the step-son to ask him if he had said anything against
herself to his father. The child's answer was very telling. He said, "I
have not said anything. So far. But, I can.'' That gave the right message
to the woman. She understood the step-son's potential in creating the rift
between the couple. Instantly, she changed her attitude towards the steps-son
and showered affection on him. She also requested him to do the patch up
job. Happy with the results of his strategy, the child obliged to bring
the parents together. Once the man deliberately came before the scheduled
time, with a view to spy on his wife. The child led him to the inner room
saying, ``Now that you have come early, I will show you my second father.''
The eager man followed the little one. The child then showed him the mirror.
The man saw his mirror image and was happy to the core. While he
patched up with his wife, the wife patched up with the step-son. The story
shows how a child can manipulate the situation in his favour.
A child can be
ungrateful:
A small girl
lost a coin and started crying inconsolably. Taking pity on her, a passerby
opened his purse and gave her his coin. Taking his coin in her custody,
the child immediately uttered, ``So, you were the one who stole my coin.
And now you are returning the same to me.'' This statement left the gentleman
shocked for life. This story teaches parents to inculcate the values of
gratitude in their children.
The blind child:
A blind child
always thought that he was being served less meat as compared to the pieces
given to the other members of the family. Therefore, the parents
once decided to give him a full roasted chicken. After touching the big-size
delicacy, the child said, ``If I am getting this share, what are the others
gobbling today.'' This folk tale shows that children should be taught to
trust their fellow human beings.
Catch them young:
This folk tale
endorses the most important parental duty of curbing criminal tendencies
in children. A criminal was being taken to the gallows. He was asked his
last wish. The man called for his mother. After giving her a warm hug,
he bit her ear. The mother screamed due to pain and asked the reason
for such an action. The man explained, ``Fifteen years ago, when I had
stolen a ball from my neighbourhood friend, you did not scold me. If you
had reprimanded me for that theft, I would not have become a hard core
criminal in later years.''
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