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Dealing
with Nightmares
The terrors of
the night
Arpita Ghosh was awoken one night
by the sound of whimpering. She rushed into her children's bedroom to find
her five-year-old daughter Alpa eyes tightly shut, tossing her head from
side to side and whimpering. She was obviously having a bad dream.
Even adults have nightmares, sometimes
even when we're awake! But on a more serious note, it will be quite easy
to recall nights when you've woken up with your heart thumping with the
uneasy feeling that something has disturbed your peaceful slumber. It takes
a few minutes to come out of the nightmare and realize it was just that
- a bad dream. Even then, it leaves a bad taste in the mouth and it is
difficult to go back to sleep. If nightmares are so disturbing for adults,
one can only imagine how bewildered and frightened they leave children.
Let us pause here to make a small
distinction between nightmares and night terrors. Night terrors can be
alarming for parents and children alike. During a night terror, a child
may scream or cry, but will not respond to calls to wake up. Parents will
just have to wait for the child to fall back into a deep slumber. In all
likelihood, the child will have no recollection of the previous eventful
night when he wakes up the next morning.
While the occasional nightmare is
not an extraordinary occurrence, recurrent nightmares may indicate that
your child is experiencing an abnormal degree of stress or anxiety about
something. While you can provide the immediate comfort and support, it
may be wise to consult your pediatrician or a counselor.
What to do when
your child has a nightmare
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If you wake up to the sound of your
child screaming in the throes of a night terror, don't panic. Hold him
in your arms and make soothing noises till he calms down.
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If he has a nightmare, wake him up gently
and tell him that he was just having a bad dream and that everything is
all right.
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Do not make him feel that you have 'saved
him' or protected him from anything or that he is safe only when you are
present. He should feel that he is capable of handling the situation.
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Do not cosset him and be overly sympathetic
or he will think that having nightmares has its own rewards. Give him a
hug and a kiss and put him back to bed.
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Ask him if he would like to go to the
bathroom. Sometimes the urge to go to the bathroom disturbs one' s slumber.
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If your child is deeply disturbed by
the dream, discuss the dream with him briefly and tell him to imagine a
happy ending. Sometimes leaving a night light on helps. You can also offer
to stay with him for a few minutes till he falls asleep.
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Only allow him to come and sleep with
you as a last resort.
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You could discuss the dream with him
in the light of day to gauge whether it is a reflection of a deeper problem.
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Maintain a regular bedtime schedule
and encourage him to do soothing activities like reading a happy story
or playing a quiet game before going to bed instead of watching television.
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