Does your child have a bad temper? Teaching your child to control his temper is one of the most valuable lessons he can learn.
A person with a bad temper is not in control of his emotions. Instead of ruling his emotions, he is ruled by them. Bad temper affects not just the nature of a person, but also the health. A person with a bad temper is more prone to high levels of stress, and is at a greater risk for developing cardiovascular diseases. Also, he will get easily frustrated, and during times of frustration productivity may go down too. In addition, an angry person has more enemies than friends, and when the chips are down not many people will be there to help him, or be by him side. And, finally, an angry person is not a happy person, and needless to say, what every parent wants for his child is happiness.
Here are some tips on how you can teach your child to exercise some self-control, so he is more in control of the decisions he makes, the action he takes, and the direction his life goes in.
Dealing with young children
The first and most important rule is to never give in to your child when he displays a bad temper. For example, if your child Rohit wants a soft drink, and you want to give it to him only with his dinner, don't give in just because he starts shouting and screaming. If you give in, you only reinforce such behavior. Instead, every time Rohit loses his temper, punish him by sending him in his room, or making him stand in a corner for around 5 to 10 minutes. This is possibly more effective than taking away some future privilege, and it will also give your child time to reflect on his behavior. On the other hand, if you keep arguing with him, tempers are likely to rise even further, and you may be tempted to either give in, or to deny him the soft drink at all.
Handling older kids
Stop the discussion when your child loses his temper. It is better if you let your child know that you will be willing to discuss the issue after he cools down, and only if he plans to have a civilized discussion with you. This may be more effective with older children and with teens. So if your teenage daughter wants to go for a party over the weekend and you don't think she should go, if your discussion turns into a fight, don't close the topic. Instead, tell him firmly that there is no point discussing the issue now, and that you will discuss it with her later that night, or the next day, if she can talk about it without losing her temper.
Finding a balance
Also, realize that your children are completely dependent on you, and when you deny them something you may not think it should matter much, but to your child, it may mean the world. Thus, your child will get frustrated and irritable. And, in an attempt to over-discipline your child, you may lose his trust. Be a balanced parent if you want a balanced child.
