 |
Coming
to Blows
Veena Ranganathan and her four-year-old
son Raman were out shopping when they got into a mild argument about buying
an expensive toy. Obviously, Raman wanted it and Veena didn't want to give
it to him. Raman initially lodged his protests by whining and screaming.
Seeing that his mother was unmoved, he escalated his efforts to a full-blown
tantrum culminating in him pummeling and hitting his mother.
Why some children
are prone to hitting
While such behaviour is not very
common amongst children, it does happen. So why are some children prone
to hitting? Sometimes, young children find it difficult to express their
anger and frustration verbally. Hence, hitting is their way of communicating.
Other children hit to get attention or in an attempt to gain a measure
of control over the situation. Some children because they feel crowded,
when other people invade their personal space by pushing and shoving.
However, the bottom line is that
hitting is far from socially acceptable behaviour. You cannot have your
child punching other people whenever things don't go his way. Parents want
their children to fit in and hitting people is not going to help that cause.
In addition, it can be acutely embarrassing for parents to have their child
make an exhibition of himself and be labelled violent and aggressive. Your
child must be made to understand that hitting is just not on.
What to do
-
This is one case when it is not advisable
to fight fire with fire. Do not react by hitting or slapping your child.
You will just be reinforcing his belief that hitting is a good outlet for
anger.
-
Remain calm and give him some time alone
to simmer down.
-
Supervise his play discreetly and if
you notice that trouble is brewing, step in and suggest ways in which he
can negotiate and compromise. In this way, he will learn that there are
ways of preventing ugly situations and everyone getting what they want
(more or less) without coming to fisticuffs.
-
If your child has a tendency to resolve
almost every conflict by hitting, then warn him in advance of the consequences
if he hits you or somebody else. For instance, you can tell him that he
will have to leave the playground or his friend's house and go home. Make
sure that you follow through.
-
It may help if your child interacts
with fewer children at one time and for shorter intervals before he has
the chance to get cranky and frustrated.
-
Lay down the ground rules that anger
should be expressed verbally and not physically. Even when expressing anger,
abusive language is a no-no.
-
With older children, you can sit down
and talk to them about it. Help them to understand the cause and effect
of their behaviour.
-
Suggest some outlets for anger like
using a punching bag or going for a long walk.
-
Praise him when he refrains from hitting.
-
If hitting is a persistent problem,
then consult a counsellor or a child psychologist.
To add your views on
this article or read others comments Click
Here
Back to Previous Page
More on Manners & Discipline Index
Email this Article to a Friend
|
