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Can Mothers be Sexy?
Women first worry that marriage rings
the death knell on romance. Just when their fears have been confirmed or
not, it's time to worry again. They become pregnant and they think: "Does
motherhood spells the end of their sex life?" Somehow the word 'mother'
doesn't inspire amorous or romantic stirrings associated with candle-lit
dinners and impromptu bedroom trysts. This feeling is further reinforced
by the fact that most women find that they have absolutely no interest
in sex in the postpartum period.
No sex please, I've just had a baby There are several reasons why new mothers feel less than sexy in the postpartum days. One of these is physiological. A new mother's hormones are still out of kilter and this can affect her sexual desire in the postpartum days and when she's breastfeeding. Hormonal changes can also cause a lessening of vaginal lubrication, which is a further impediment to enjoying sexual intercourse. New mothers also feel a little fragile.
They worry that sex might be painful or cause some internal damage or even
lead to another pregnancy. In this frame of mind, they cannot be expected
to be ready to resume their sex lives. Couples eager to resume their sex
life should make sure that the woman is fully healed or she would find
sex painful. This may make her wary of trying intercourse again in the
near future and the stress will affect her enjoyment and also her husband's.
This would especially apply to women who've had an episiotomy or who've
had to have stitches.
Is there time for sex? Let's not forget that once baby comes home, new parents aren't going to have a minute to breathe. By the time they've fed, bathed, and clothed the baby, put him to sleep and done the laundry, they just about have the energy to sink gratefully into a chair. There's no way that they'd have the energy to even think about making love. Sex is put on the back burner while they try to get a semblance of routine into their lives again. New parents' ardour is also cooled because they are uncomfortable about having sex in the same room where their child is sleeping. A nursing mother's sexual needs may
be satisfied by breastfeeding as a result of which she may turn away from
her husband's overtures. In addition, some women feel uncomfortable with
sexual foreplay that involves fondling their breasts. They feel that their
breasts now have a nurturing function and are awkward about thinking about
them in a sexual context. Sometimes, breasts leak milk when stimulated,
which can make either or both partners physically and psychologically uncomfortable.
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