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Bonding with Baby
Although mothers bond with the baby by nursing them, fathers don’t have the same means for such bonding. However, there are numerous other ways fathers can bond with the babies and help with the looking after, so they don’t feel left out of the process.
Most new fathers like nothing more than returning home from work to spend time playing with their baby, so as soon as you get back from work, make it a point to play with your baby.
Don’t make impromptu plans with friends or colleagues to meet up for a drink after work. Plan to hang out with friends only when it is past baby’s bedtime, so you can spend whatever few hours you have free with your baby. Start socializing after your baby has gone to sleep. Naturally you need to make sure that someone is watching the baby when you are not at home.
Often fathers return home late from work, only to find that baby has already gone off to sleep. Naturally you will not want to wake her up, considering the time and effort that went into getting her to sleep! If this happens often, you may want to consider letting your baby sleep in your bed a few times a week. There seem to be pros and cons to letting your child sleep with you. The decision should be up to you, for whatever works for you. If she sleeps with you, every time she wakes up, you can pet her until she goes off to sleep. Don’t feel overwhelmed if she wants to be held by mama – this will normally happen only when she is wide awake. If she starts whining in her sleep, a few pats by you should send her right back to sleep.
Cut down on your socializing to spend time with your baby. This may seem like a piece of cake for some, but fathers who have a very active social life find it a little harder to tie themselves at home. This may be because they don’t have any duties with regard to the child. In between mothers and maids, there is little left for daddies to do. But if you took up more of baby’s responsibility when you are at home, you won’t feel bad about missing a night out with friends. 35-year-old Amit, father of 2 boys, has never changed a diaper in his life. “I never had to,” he says. “When I would get home from office I would play with the baby for around half an hour. The maid would then put baby to sleep while I had dinner. If the baby’s diaper required changing, my wife or the maid would do it.” If your baby does potty when you are playing with him, change the diaper yourself. Don’t hand your baby to your wife.
If you have very little time to spend with your baby, take it upon yourself to put your baby to sleep. It could be your duty to read him a bedtime story, sing him a lullaby or just rock him to sleep in your arms.
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