A mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law can be good friends. Here are few tips on how to be a good mother-in-law.
'Mom, I am home. Will I get some tea?' said Renu. Soon she was served with a warm hug and a hot cup of tea by her mom-in-law. Surprised? Well, Renu and Kaveri are more like friends than daughter-in-law and mother-in-law. Renu treats her mom-in-law with surprise gifts and Kaveri just pampers her daughter-in-law in every possible way. Are you jealous? A mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be friends! Read on to know how you can be a friend of your daughter-in-law.
Be friendly with your daughter-in-law
Your son has chosen a girl as his life partner because he loves her. No matter whether it is a love marriage or an arranged marriage, as a perfect mother-in-law you need to give a warm welcome to your daughter-in-law in her new dwelling. She is going to miss her mother with whom she spent her childhood, adolescence and womanhood. Remember, avoid being too motherly, instead be a good friend of your daughter-in-law. Befriending your daughter-in-law will help you to build a special bond with her.
Give them space
Your son has got a life partner. Be ready to accept a change. Your son has new responsibilities now. If you are living in a joint family, give them space. Your son will not be able to spend as much time with you as he used to spend before his marriage. He has some private life with his wife. Do not seek participation in every conversation they have. Your son and daughter-in-law will appreciate you for this. Your daughter-in-law will agree that you are the most understanding woman she has ever seen.
Find out common interests
A mother-in-law and a daughter-in-law can be the best of buddies. If your son has found soul mate, look forward to meet your would be daughter-in-law. Explore the interests and hobbies you share. You might feel wonderful that your daughter-in-law and you admire the same author or read similar books. You might feel as you know her for ages to realise that you both have so much in common. On the other side, there also will be some differences. Every individual is different and everyone is unique in some or the other way. Everyone has some flaws. No one is perfect, not even you.
Do not gossip behind her back
Never gossip behind the back of your daughter-in-law. Gossiping about her to friends and relatives will harm relations. If she discovers that you are talking not very good things behind her back, it will damage your relation with her. Your son will feel betrayed if he shares a close emotional bonding with his wife. If something is bothering you about her behaviour then it is better to talk her. She is your family. Even friend and relatives will not appreciate you talking negatively about your daughter-in-law. Remember, give respect to get respect is the formula.
Respect their parenting style
Your daughter-in-law is going to be a mother one day or she must be a mother already. You have certain notions about disciplining children. She might not agree with them. Let your son and your daughter-in-law decide how they want to discipline their children and which parenting style they want to adopt. Of course, you have all the rights to shower your love on your grandchildren. Your daughter-in-law will be happy to have a loving grandmother to her children but not the one who is manipulative.
Do not give unnecessary suggestions
You want to see your son doing well in his married life, don't you? Your son and your daughter-in-law will definitely seek your advice when they will feel like. Be careful not to give suggestions where not required. You may force them to take certain decisions which may not be desired. On the other side, when your daughter-in-law seeks your advice she will surely turn up to you to take help from your life experiences. Believe in her and say what you feel is right. Leave the decision making to them.
Secrets to be a good mother-in-law
When your daughter-in-law comes home, she leaves behind her home and her parents. Everything is new to her. It is your duty to make the place familiar for her. Welcome your daughter-in-law without forming any prejudices about her. We are about unleash some secrets to be a best mother-in-law. Here we go.
It will be such a break to be different from all other mother-in-laws out there and not be called a monster-in-law. Being an ideal mother-in-law can be a rewarding experience in itself. It is true that you will need co-operation from your daughter-in-law to make your relation with your daughter-in-law work. Make the first move today itself and ask your daughter-in-law, 'will you be my friend?
Are you a good mother-in-law? What makes a mother-in-law bad? Do you think it is time that mother-in-laws shed their monster-in-law image? To share your views and experiences,click here.