Domestic Violence - Views on Article

Views on Article - Domestic Violence
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Name: crorkz mattz
Country: India
Comment:
uL0NHj Hey, you used to write great, but the last several posts have been kinda boring�� I miss your great writings. Past few posts are just a little bit out of track! come on!

Name: web traffic
Country: India
Comment:
Great post and right to the point. I don't know if this is really the best place to ask but do you folks have any ideea where to hire some professional writers? Thanks :) web traffic

Name: Tina
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
My husband tells me that he does not mean it and he will never do it again but the next fight we have it gets worst and worst and I do love him and I do try to for give he but its back to the same thing the next day it will be alright for about a week or two than we fight again this time hitting me more or worst at that

Name: Kay
Country: Other
Comment:
Iam a victim of wife bashing. Bashed five different occassions now am thinking of leaving this guy. Got 4 children, all grown up. From this bashing my left ear lost its hearing and now have a black patch on my left side of my face . On two bashing I ran to my parents for help and they assisted me to the doc. I can not continue to leave like this. Iam working mother. Could you give me some advice, note: We were married in church in 1985 but he did cheat on me.

Name: anita
Country: India
Comment:
all men are nice and loving untill and unless you cross their path/ say no to their demands, whims and fancies/ fail to be ''girl from the blue films'' they fantasied / choose to cook meals sometime of your choice or wear the dress/color she likes...basically problem arises when a women dare to consider herself as a individual with her share of likes and dislikes/ opinions / desires and dreams... and DISOBEY the master in man. I believe men who HIT women does belong to a violent home/family ...and have a low self esteem / a inferiority complex which is self projected outwardly by them as a superior self(complex)/ never learned to respect women because his father never did and had a weak mother. So men who hit women ll never change as it is a deep rooted negative complex. still if you love him very much ....then carry on...at least make him happy...he loves the feeling that inspite of all what he does to you... you are not going to leave him.

Name: Neetu
Country: India
Comment:
My name is Neetu. My husband is a CA. He is very short tempered. He hits me whenever we have an argument. I also get angry but I never hit him. Now he does it often. I am losing my self respect. I am a trainer by profession. If I discuss anything with my parents they get disturbed and they tell me to compromise. But why should I.... I really don't want to live with him. But where should I go? I have my younger sister and brother also. My step will create a problem in their marriage also. And I have a daughter of one year. Can u please inform me about some organization which can give us shelter. I will go there with my daughter and can earn money by myself. But I want to live with dignity and respect.

Name: Deepu
Country: India
Comment:
Shilpa,I just read your mail.I am not having good relationship with my husband.I have been married to my husband for 4 years.He is very anger man.for unneccessary reasons he will show his anger on me for eample:if i didnt make food proper,he will throw the plate.he would hit me while I was pregnant.I dont know when he get anger.every time he will come and say sorry ,it will never happen forgive me.But he never keep his words.Nowadays i am so confused.How long i can excuse my husband?My question does he change if i take him to the Doctor?Please give me an advise.

Name: Christian
Country: France
Comment:
I just read the article. I agree with the analysis as well. But I believe that a man who hits his wife is not entitled to a second chance. Because we know very well that in practice it over and over again, playing the weakness of his wife. But I want to know your opinion at all, on another point that we do not talk often. What do you think of a woman who beat their husbands ? What do you think of a woman who makes no crisis for her husband ? What do you think of a woman who does not want to invest itself in his married life, but blamed the husband prefers to do nothing to make her happy ? A woman who tries to impose on him, which denigrates systematically trying to demean with offensive words and acts displaced, while she knows that her husband did not. see you

Name: shilpa
Country: India
Comment:
Domestic violence happens. But nobody works on the causes. The man may be in complete depression to do this. I am not saying that it is a justification for voilence. But darling wives, he needs to be treated. Walking out is not a solution. Take a counseller's help of a help of a psychiatirst and start with a treatment. I have gone through this and it has helped me. It is a task to take them to a doc, say it is for urself. Then the doc automatically works on him. All this is related to frustations which are removed on wives. Wives have to handle the situation with tricks...if he becomes voilent, remain silent and just smile at him or hug him. Simultaneously, the doc will work wonders on him. Try it out ladies. The man u have is a psychic and needs help from u..help him. Walking out is not the solution..because he does not know what he is doing

Name: anita
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
i am not having a good time at home .i.gave up my blood for my marriage. i have four girls,of course hhe wanted a boy but were content with what we got. after giving birth to 4 girls my body shape isnt the same no more. he loves me less ,swears and hits .the girls know that this is happening.the only reason why i wont leave him is because of them. were will i go,how will i bring them up,all child need a father around them.also, i will not have the comfortable life that i am living now. you dont get enough from the government to live on nowadays.

Name: Kim
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
Women need support if they are going to walk out. If people do not support her decision, how will she fight back?

Name: chahak
Country: India
Comment:
hi lisa...similar life...can we talk?pls? pls write to ooshona at the rate rediff mail

Name: Chahak
Country: India
Comment:
Hi, I have been married for nearly 5 years now and have been a victiom of this violence myself.Though in my case, i warned him thrice, told his parents..and when there was no change or help..i returned back the hits...though thr ratio was obviously lesser...it has not happened for the past 1 year but the severe verbal abuse continues.day in day out... we have a 2 year old daughter now and i am extremely extremely worried about her. My family or his doesnt give an ear to my miseries.... for them...good house..car...all luxuries...u have all.then why crib? I feel severely depressed to hear abuses all the time..against me and my family. after another year of so, when my daughter starts understanding...what will be the impact on her.how can i stop this? he has had a very sad childhood and is full of anger against his father who has had similar history. I feel all the good education or great designation and salary etc that i may have... lack of honour and respect.... disrespect all the time from him ... when alone or infront of his family... i feel a loser...very very depressed..... i dont know my fate but i surely cannot bear it anymore... can someone help.....

Name: suresh
Country: India
Comment:
it is really feels bad , girls in indian society are being harassed on matter of dowry , why do men forget they too have their sisters, mother and girl friends,

Name: Pragnya
Country: USA
Comment:
I have been marrid for over 9 years. Every 6 months, my husband would hit me. I have a 6 year old daughter.Every time I try to leave,she cries her heart out making me feel extremely guilty,and I end not leaving.Tell me the pros and cons of leaving on my child.

Name: laksy
Country: India
Comment:
I really pity those men who do not empathize women, when it comes to physical need he finds her good and attractive.....but when it comes to her needs why he has to justify as custom or anything else....what...??????Beating is a custom? tradition...?ritual...? what...? I am surprised that men here still think this way....its shameful for every man.....boss don't forget ur mothers are also women...will u guys hit him defending wives...so why the other way round.....Women in india really really need to hold hands and push all those men away who are violent and try to think wives are their commodities or products....as if they have bought them, horrible and pathetic....such men should not have place in society but unfortunately 5 out 10 are like that who behave like gr8 gentlemen in society and for this women is responsible as she hides these qualities and nurtures a devil.....if every women raises voice and bring those selfish men then how can they have guts.....and coming to this article" if u have pushed him for ur defence its ok.....please tell him that he has NO right to touch and if need be try and expose him with help organisations as soon as possible.....

Name: tanvi
Country: India
Comment:
basically my husband is good.but sometimes he hit me....whar should i do?

Name: helper
Country: USA
Comment:
Hi Lisa I have gone through same situation and when my hubbi pushed me firts time.I told him he would end in jail as it is considered as asssualt and i was serious abt it and whenever he have aruguments ,he dared not to turn volient towards him.U can call 800 no by name of HOPE ,i am not sure of no,but u can check on internet to get free confidential conselling.Its big help and u can call from phone booth.I would suggest take all help u can get.Get ur close friends .let people know whats happeaning with u.U need to break the cycle its pushing now but can turn to pulling and beating. Take care Helper

Name: jay
Country: India
Comment:
Dowry system still continues Indira Gandhi established laws which are enforced to no avail. Beating wives is the norm in this country it shall never change and if it does o boy divorce rates shall multiply and women shall have to live with their parents being a poojhh for the rest of their lives.

Name: anil
Country: India
Comment:
thaak hu biwi khu marnaa is chaahees. lashing till she screams better still behead her if she does not listen best way to resolve a wife. Of course this is acceptable in India, beating biwi is an ancient custom to keep in line, it happens and shall continue. New laws cannot do Jack police are corrupt well they go around raping the public, so there. Pay 500 rupees and you get away with the police taking out a complaint on a man. All this bollywood crap like Market does not exist in real India ok. Wake up, smell the Coffee!

Name: TRACY BOARD
Country: USA
Comment:
HORRAY TO THE WOMEN THAT PUSHES HIM OFF OH HER,HON YOU ARN'T COMMITTING ANY CRIME HE IS. DON'T EVER THINK YOU ARE COMMITTING A CRIME PUSHING HIM OFF OF YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO LEAVE BECAUSE HE IS A DEPRESSED PERSON AND DOESN'T WANT TO AMIT IT OR SEEK HELPYOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO, JUST BEVCAUSE YOUR MARRIED TO HIM DOESN'T MAKE HIM SPECIAL. HE IS THE ABUSER HERE. HE HAS A HUGE PROBLEM,AFTER READING YOUR STORY, IF HE PUT'S HIS HANDS ON YOU ESPECAILY EVERY HOLIDAY AND BIRTHDAYS, HE SOUNDS LIKE HE IS SO IN TO HIS SELF, AND HAS A BAD HANG UP, AND IT IS A VERY UNUSUAL ONE THAT IS WHY I SAY IT IS BAD, I HAVE COUNSELED COUPLES AND NEVER HAVE HEARD ONE THIS BAD. AND YOU SAID THE NEXT DAY AFTER MOTHERS DAY HE WANTS TO KNOW WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT THE MOTHERS DAY CARD HE GAVE YOU? HON IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH TELL HIM TO GET HELP, AND IF HE TOUCHS YOU, OR STEALS YOUR KEYS ONE MORE TIME TELL HIM YOU ARE GONE,BUT YOPU SHOULD HAVE BEN GONE ON MOTHERS DAY DOWN TOWN TAKING A EMERGENCY PROTECTIVE ORDER OUT ON HIM KIVCKING HIM OUT. I CAN READ BETEWBN THE LINES I HAVE A HUNCH HE HAS HURT YOU PHYSICALLY ALOT MORE THAN YOU ARE SAYING, BECAUSE IF HE CAN TAKE YOU KEYS AND OVERPOWER YOU ON ALL THESE BIRTHDAYS AND HOLIDAYS, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH ,HANG IN THERE AND KEP US ON THIS BOARD IN TOUCH.WE ARE HERE TO HELP YOU. BUT BETTER THAN THAT KICK HIM TO THE CURB, WHY SHOULD YOU LEAVE,IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE PUTTING YOUR AL IN THE MARRIAGE BUT 11 YEARS TOGETHER AND THEN 6 YEARS MARRIED AND HE STILL ISN'T OVER HIS FATHERS DEATH AFTER 16 YEARS, PLEASE MAKE HIM LEAVE HE NEEDS HELP, IF HE DOESN'T GET IT, IT WILL GGET WORSE, YOU SPOKE OF HIS MOTHER IN A NURSING HOME, WELL YOUR WORRIES ARN'YT NO WHERE NEAR OVER, WHEN SHE PASSES, IT WILL BE DOUBLLY WORSE, SEK COUSELING FOR YOUR SELD AND IF THE BIG SELFISH BOOB, DOESN'T WANT IT, GET A ORDER FOR HIM TO LEAVE, WHY SHOULD YOU LEAVE YOU ARE THE ONE DOING EVERYTHING TO KEEP THE MARRIAGE TOGETHER. HE IS ACTING LIKE A BIG SPOILED BRAT BABY, THAT WANTS MOMMY AND DADDY BACK TO TAKE CARE OF HIM. HE I HATE TO SAY IT IF YOU DON'T DO SOMETHING NOW YOU WON'T HAVE A HUSBAND OR A LIFE DOWN THE ROAD, ONCE THEY PUT THEIR HANDS ON YOU, AND THE WAY YOU SPOKE OF IT I TAKE IT HE DOES IT OFTEN, BUT YOU DIDN'T SAY HOW HARD OR IF YOUR BANGED UP, I FEEL YOU ARE. BUT I SUSPECT IT IS IF HE CAN PUSH YOU AROUND ENOUGH TO GET YOUR CAR KEYS. GOOD LUCK HON, KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THIS HELP BOARD. TRACY.

Name: LISA
Country: USA
Comment:
I DON'T HIT MY HUSBAND , BUT I HAVE TO DEFEND MYSELF SOME HOW I PUSH HIM AWAY AND HE SAYS I HOIT HIM, WHENHE HAS HIS HANDS ON ME TKEEPING ME IN THE HOUSE WHEN WE HAVE A ARUMENT ALWAYS ON THE HOLIDAYS, THE DID GOOD ON HIS BIRSTHDAY MAY 5, I GAVE HIM HIS PRESENT 2 WEEKS BEFORE, BUT I FORGET ABOUT MOTHERS DAY YESTEDAY THE 8 OF MAY I DIDN'T ESCAPE THAT.WITH OUT A HUGE ARGUMENT HE STARTED, DO I HAVE A RIGHT TO PUSH HIM OFF ME AND OFF MY ARMS WHY HE IS TRYING TO HOLD ME IN THE HOUSE, I HAVE TO GET AWAY FROM HIM WHEN HE GETS DEPTRESSED, DO I HAVE A RIGHT TO PUSH,OR KICK HIM IF I WANT TO GET AWAY FROM THE SITUATION, HE SAID I HIT HIM,DOES THAT MAKE SENSE I DON'T THINK SO.I NEED ADVICE, IT WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED.,WHY DOES MY HUSBAND TAKE HIS DEPRESSION OUT ON ME? AND HE IS DIAGNOSED THAT BEFORE I MARRIED HIM, HE HID IT FROM ME, I LOVE HIM WE ARE BEST FRIENDS, BUT WHEN HIS BIRTHDAY OR MOTHERS DAY OR FATHERS DAY OR ANY OTHER SEADSON HE SHARED WITH HIS PARENTS ONE NOW DECEASED THE FATHER FOR 16 YEARS HAS THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS ME, MONTH AND DAY, I HAVE HORRIBLE BIRTHDAYS, AND HIS MOTHER IS IN A NURSING HOME SHE IS JUST OLD, BUT HE LIVES IN THE PAST, AND CAN'T SEEM TO BE HAPY ALL OF THE TIEM WITH OUR 11 YEAR RELATIONSHIP AND 6 YEAR MARRAGE, NOW HE IS STARTING TO PUSH ME AROUND, NOT HIT JUST PULLING ME AROUND TAKING MY KEYS , BAD ENOUGH WHERE IT HURTS, AND IT ALWAYS HAPPENS ON THESE BIRTHDAYS OF HIS PARENTS AND MAJOR HOLIDAYS, I HAVE NO MORE HAPPY HOLIDAYS ANYMORE, THE SAD THING IS THE NEEXTRT DAY AFTER HE HAS ALREADY RUINTED MY BIRTHDAY, THIS TIME IT WAS MOTHERS DAY YESTERDAY. TODAY HE IS ASKINGME WHY I DIDN'T OPEN THE CARD HE GAVE ME??? DA? WHAT CAN I DO TO GET HIM ON TRACK, THE COUNSELORS APPARENTLY HAVE TRIED, HE SCALLS THEM QUCKS NOW.I NED SOME ADVICE, SINCERELY LISA.

Name: priya
Country: India
Comment:
why a message board has not been created here to give some space to such ladies to come together on one platform to discuss their issues and fight for the cause together.

Name: Priya
Country: India
Comment:
It is very good article,as mentioned above this should be published in newspaper.

Name: Usha
Country: India
Comment:
This was a good article. I agree with the problems and behavioural aspect mentioned in the article but to walk out on the first beating case does not seem practical.

Name: geetha
Country: India
Comment:
Good article. Should be published in newspaper and solutions must be given there itself and counselling should be the second last option.

Name: Deepak
Country: India
Comment:
What about women hitting men ? There is a good number of such cases in society. Is that justified ? Often when a woman hits a man or commits a crime against a man, various reasons are specified to justify the incidence. The logic that you gave in the article is always forgotten then!

Name: Asha
Country: India
Comment:
Goood article....

Name: Jaya
Country: India
Comment:
Yes, it is very good article on Womens. Good work keep it up...

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