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My wife of 4 yrs. has let me know how worthless I am even though I have tried hard to serve her as my mate. We got married with me being 52 and her at 50. This is my first marriage and her second. She had a long term marriage before. She is in full menopause. She stated she wants a divorce, I am after her money (those who know me can't believe this), and that she can't take time to walk if I have already worked out because more needs to be done around home-and I do housework. Question: How much of this obsession, suspiciousness, depression, anxiety, sadness, down often, and unhappiness could be associated to menopause at 56? She wanted me to leave, would not call me at an apt. in two and a half months, and I left to go back to the state I lived in for two decades in order to be close to tight and intimate friends for divorce purposes. She said she wants a divorce but has not filed as of yet. I have been out of state for a little more than a month. I have always tried talking things out but she consistently sabotaged by not wanting to discuss. How much could this be menopausal? No, I don't look @ everything being hormonal vs. things I could work on but I don't think I fully understand the power menopause possesses over the psyche and maybe women perhaps don't as well. I would hate to lose this marriage that started out so well and was so full of the spiritual aspect of what a marriage can be just because we could not work through menopause. I kind of know that menopause will have it's way of a sort. Maybe someone can inform, comfort me, console, confirm, or even deny these things. Yet, if filing occurs I am ready to accept it...Willy
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Name: joan
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Thank goodness for having found this web site and reading others 'problems'! I don't feel as if I am imagining or making more of things now, or feel the need to keep apologising for just being hormonal! I am 62 and post menopause, the hot flashes are not so bad now but I do get real downers and worry about anything and everything, and get quite weepy. I sat down today and tried to reason why. I have now finally realised that the events of the last five or six years which I tried to cope with at the time are catching up. In that period I lost my mother, then my father, my beloved brother succumbed to Alzheimers, then my mother in law died, and then my son's marriage broke up. I was coping with a full time job which I loved until I started to be affected by all my family traumas and that was when my line manager, who I thought was also a friend, took that opportunity to make my life a misery until I finally resigned with stress. Perhaps I would have 'survived' all these events normally but when you are menopausal you just can't can you.
Name: john
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YES - I AM A MALE! I am, or have been with a wonderful woman for many years. Menopause seems to stand for "PUT YOUR MEN ON PAUSE". I SYMPATHISE IMMENSELY WITH WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. From a male perspective we emotionally and psychologically can suffer immensely also, without the devastating physical conditions. The education of men is as important as the treatment of women. I am trying so hard to understand the emotional side of menopause ( doing a course in Psychology at the age of 58 ) as the relationship no longer exists through what I believe is the loss of a feeling of femininity, worthlessness and being unattractive for a woman. None of this is the way most men see you. HOWEVER - it doesnt seem to make you all feel any better - you still push us away. Companionship, doing things together, going to a show, going out for dinner are all things that I love doing and it has all gone! It seems like anything a man says to encourage menopausal women is taken as "just being stated to make you feel good" or made up. Us men get older and dont look so hot either but love should over-ride the way we all look. The bottom line -EDUCATE MEN AND MAKE WOMEN AWARE OF THEIR WORTH. TRY NOT TO PUSH AWAY THE ONES THAT LOVE YOU ( You Are Wonderfull Creatures)
Name: Claire
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Feel so much better after reading your comments.I have started to have extreme symptoms too sweating then cold shivers, bloating, joint pain in arms, legs, neck, migraines and generally feeling 'not all there' was worried until I accessed this page. Started taking soya and calcium 18 months ago but am now 50 and it's all getting alot worse. Chin up girls! Who'd be a woman?! can you imagine the men going through his lot whilst working, looking after the home and kids?!!!!!
Name: Mango
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I am 54, I have been not had a period for five years and now classed as post menopausal. On top of the usual symtoms of menopause I have developed itchy skin which drives me crazy especially at night when I go to bed. After heaps of test and no explanation I self medicate with anti histamine Telfast, it is the only thing that has kept me sain, after 4 yrs no side effects, Hope this helps someone
Name: sk8mom
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I am 51 yrs. young and have many symptoms of menopause. I have epilepsy, I was seizure free for 16 yrs. (and had a healthier life), 2 yrs ago I had 3 grand mal sezures. I believe menopause was a big part of this. I have been documenting since. Hot flashes, anxiousness, gaining of weight,mood wings, extreme migraines, heart palpitations, shortness in breathe, achy body, anxiety (I have never experienced before). My body is so sensitive, I use to be a semi- strong person, I believe my symptoms I have now stem from menopause and its been even more of a disability for me. Anyone out there w/ a seisure disorder (epilepsy) hang on and enjoy the ride? Can anyone relate to this please give remarks It feels like my body is going through a total body change. It affects my whole quality of life. I don't like taking medicine for everything, I already take medication for my epilepsy and see doctors regularly, if not more. For Hot Flashes herbal pills, tincture for my anxiety, I know that breathing, exercising, and eating properly is very important.
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Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
im 44 years old and am going through some changes that i feel would be more apt to jekyle and hide,my mood swings render me a total personality change ,the tears,low self esteem,nasty verble attacks on my loved ones ,a feeling of needing to leave,and to top that i have to do it HOT,sweaty ,crying for no reason,seems im suffering from pms and may well of been for 10 years, nice to know that im not the crazy nut ball i thought, im not sure if im glad to know or not
Name: annebarnett@rogers.ca
Country: Canada
Comment:
Hi Ladies I am 56 years old & post menopausal.I have been free of periods for the last 12 years. I am experiencing some tiny discharges of what looks like watered down blood.It comes & goes and sometimes their is a more than normal & what feels like a normal period. I also have a smell. I also look like I am 6 months pregnant.Has anyone had this.Thanks.
Name: Elizabeth
Country: Canada
Comment:
I couldn't agree more with Jane Doe. I think it's still called a double edge sword. Here's hoping research will ensure our daughters won't have to endure our uncomfortable fate.
Name: arian
Country: philippines
Comment:
I'm 47 years old last 2004 April 18 I had this repair on my ovary just to avoid hrt it helps and I'm taking this pills femoston and my mens goes well and normal and last March 2006 I stop using that pills and I have'nt gone to an Ob gynae doctor till now and since last March 2006 my period stop till now what should I do...presently I'm working here in Dubai but I can't go to a Dr. coz I don;t have the medical card...can you tell me if I could continue using that femoston to having a normal period or I'll just stop it coz probably I'm menopause already
Name: carmen
Country: england
Comment:
Hi everyone, especially Karen from usa; 5 years ago I also experience an unpleasant smell down below. I went to c my gynaecologist and we discovered that the smell was due to pre-cancer cells. I had an operation which was successful and I have a check up once a year, just to make sure it isn't reoccurring.
Name: caro
Country: usa
Comment:
I am 67. I have had mild sweats after I went off Estrogen. However, recently I have had serious sweats. Today I had sweats and flushes for 20 minutes. I was in the mall--no known reason. Does anyone know if this is a "norm." Is it an aberration?
Name: JAN
Country: usa
Comment:
HI! im a 45 year old pre-menaplauseal woman who is having hot flashes when i excersie. what should i do about this?
Name: liz
Country: other
Comment:
DOES ANYONE KNOW CAN YOU STILL GET PAIN FROM ENDOMETRIOSIS AFTER A TOTAL HYSTERECTOMY WHEN YOU ARE ON HRT OR IS THE PAIN I GET JUST SCAR TISSUE
Name: sassynana63
Country: usa
Comment:
ladies my heart goes out to each of you who are suffering, im 43 with hot flashes, dry skin, soreness. it is sometimes unbearable. but i am a christian the bible says Jesus will not place on us more than we can bear.....you All are in my prayers
Name: Helen
Country: australia
Comment:
I survived ca in 1995. The chemobrought on premenopausal symptoms which I have suffered on & off for 11 years. The flushes & mood swings have increased. Ive been to menopause clinics, taken Black Cohosh, Wild Yam, Soya Products, eat lots of Phytoestrogens, tried, Efexor, nothing has worked. Can anyone help me. I dont like myself with my mood swings, have a wonderful partner who tries to understand.
Name: Karen
Country: usa
Comment:
At age 59, I have not had the more dramatic symptoms of menopause--perhaps because I was on HRT for about four years. By the time I went off, at age 56, night sweats, hot flashes, and headaches had gone away. But now I have this annoying problem: vaginal odor. It seems to appear on and off. I don't find unusual discharge, and no other symptoms, so I'm not at all convinced there is an infection. However, if it persists, I will probably see my gynecologist about it. The thing is, I do remember that my grandmother sometimes smelled "odd" in her old age. So I'm wondering if I "inherited" this tendency and if anyone else has experienced such a thing. It's very embarrassing, to say the least.
Name: chris
Country: australia
Comment:
I have found that cutting out coffee and white wine ahs significantly stppoed the hot flushes. Now as soon as I have wine, usually a nice light red I will get hot Can some one please let me know how to get the desire to have sex back without drugs and I seem to have a burnig sensation if anything goes into the vagina, is this normal? I now undestand why long term marriages break up as the husband is not coping at all.Grateful for any suggestions
Name: kim
Country: usa
Comment:
I am 39, and have not had a cylcel all year long and now I having one, is that the first sign of menp.
Name: PetaPan
Country: england
Comment:
I had expected to find some more informative material on how to cope with some of the problems. We all know these things happen but not to what extent until they do. We need constructive help in how to alleviate the symptoms not the try this, try that, that others are suggesting (albeit helpfully).
Name: Kat
Country: usa
Comment:
I am 54 in the middle of menaopause. My biggest problem seem to be tightness in the chest and shortness of breath. I have undergone EKGs Stress test etc. I have not had a period for over two years and now the hot flashes is mosre often. They call this post menopause. How long will it last? I have no sexual desire.
Name: patty
Country: england
Comment:
I had a hysterectomy 10 years ago, leaving my ovaries. was on HRT for 10 years. Am having hot flushes and night sweats constantly this summer. I also have joint ache, has anyone any suggestions, please!
Name: mary jamarco
Country: usa
Comment:
had complete hysterectomy was on hrt for 1 year felt great went off now and i dont sleep gained weight very irritated tired fatigued im going back on it
Name: Char
Country: usa
Comment:
Does anyone wonder if they'll live through menopause? Twice now I've awakened to my heart racing and feeling short of breath. Now I'm afraid to go to sleep! I've developed a fear-based mentality, checking my blood pressure several times a day. Is this crazy?
Name: Martha
Country: usa
Comment:
I had a hysterectomy when I was 26. My ovaries were left in due to my age. Endometrosis. 2 years ago the endometreosis came back had them taken out. Went through pre-menopause for about 7 years. Now it's full blown I don't want HRT. I decided I could live with all the Hot flushes and all those ofther thing. Any I have them all except for the mood swings that doesn't seem to be a problem. But the worst and most devastating expecially to my marraige is that my sex drive is completly gone. There is no desire no nothing. Please can anyone give me any suggestions.
Name: Shannon
Country: usa
Comment:
Hello ladies! I am 20 years old and I have what is called ENDOMETRIOSIS. For those of you who don't know what that is I would recommend looking it up because it would take forever to explain. I am taking a shot every month called Lupron for 6 months which puts me into menopause. I have symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, and here lately my joints mainly my hips have been killing me. I think what is so bad is that sometimes the hip pain causes me to limp, and older ladies look at me and say "you are too young to be hurting like that". If only they knew. I am one of the unlucky ladies that gets to experience menopauese not once but twice, but I have heard that it won't be so bad when I go through it naturally, because they say the shot makes it 10 times worse. I hope everything gets better for all of you. If anyone would like to contact me on this subject you can email me at SHANNYBoo2002@aol.com
Name: sf
Country: usa
Comment:
Since I went into post menopause about 4 years ago, I have had several symptoms, the worst of which are panic attacks. I wake up shaking and want to run. I am on Xanax 3 times daily and it has helped somewhat with the fight or flight symptoms, but my nerves are always on edge. I have suffered from some depression, but not as much as nerves. I found myself worrying about getting older, and find it hard to focus on anything but me when I have what I call an episode. Does anyone else suffer from these symptoms? I would be glad to write to someone and compare notes. Does it ever go away?
Name: gail
Country: france
Comment:
I recently began doing rather strenuous exercise and have developed a tremor-(not painful, but annoying0, in my V area. Feels like a tiny motor. Hope I haven't shaken anything loose. Has anybody else experienced this?
Name: Marlene
Country: england
Comment:
I have just turned 48 and over the last couple of months I have started to develop really bad headaches which seem to bring my mood down. Anyone else experienced this? My periods are still very regular. I have other symptoms but as I have always suffered from quite bad PMS symptoms since my late teens I tend to take the others stuff in my stride. But the headaches! Love to hear if anyone else has had this problem.
Name: Dorinda
Country: england
Comment:
I am 50 and had a partial hysterectomy six years ago to remove a large fibroid so I stopped having the heavy periods that were dominating my life. Now I am in the menopause and just feel like no one can tell me it`s okay to feel sorry for myself at times. For me the very worst thing is va**** dryness and vulva soreness. My doctor prescribed Vagifem which helped at first but they just aren`t enough to take away this awful discomfort. Sex is something to be avoided because of the pain, and even some bleeding afterwards. Can any one advise me on a suitable lubricant product before I become severely depressed, please?
Name: karin
Country: southafrica
Comment:
Although I am very miserable with all my Menopause symptoms I somehow feel I am not alone after having read all the other stories I have just come off HRT after 8 years and now suffer extremely from hot flashes and night sweat. It is most embarassing in social situations as the sweat pours off me, mostly by running over my face. Any advise or help will be appreciated. I also suffer from severe pain during intercourse and pains in my muscles and joints. When will this ever get better? And one more thought, nobody seems to understand or sympathize with these problems (except those affected of course).
Name: maureen
Country: england
Comment:
I am 50 and am experiencing hot flushes, night sweats, mood swings loss of libido. I have found sage drops and black cohosh (used first by native american indians for their squaws !)really helpful. The sweats are under control, not gone altogether but much better. I am also taking milk thistle which keeps me "regular" !! Anything has to be worth a go since I do not want to go on HRT since I have had a partial hysterectomy due to cervical cancer. Any other tips welcome
Name: marva
Country: usa
Comment:
I am 59 years of age and had a hysterectomy at the age 41. I went into menopause with a patch on my hip. About a year ago I expressed concern to my doctor about the longivity of my HRT replacement use. He put me on a drug called menest which is soy bean based, for those that are looking for something that is more natural. I recently started having problems with sweating and being miserably hot. I cannot even make a bed without breaking out into a sweat. This sweating is confined mostly to my head and chest area. If anyone has experienced this or has any suggestions I would be most grateful.
Name: ju
Country: england
Comment:
i started my menopause at 38 naturally, and my periods stopped at 40,i am 45 now and am hot all of the time and have been on and off of hrt for about 5 years, i have side affects with all of them but try to persevere,this time it is fungal infections and joint pain. because i have started early does this mean it will go on much longer?
Name: Rachel
Country: kenya
Comment:
I think my mum is undergoing the menopause as she is 55. She sometimes get hot flushes, headache and burning stomach. She is worrying me so much. Can these problems lead to death? Please help now.
Name: Teri
Country: usa
Comment:
I am 42 and I just had a total hysterectomey due to severe dysplasia. The hot flashes were the worst without ERT. I am on the patch and it helps some, but the vaginal dryness is now kicking in after 6 weeks.
Name: GiGi
Country: usa
Comment:
I am 64 and I was on HRT for several years. I recently have stopped using HRT and I am now back to square one with hot flashes and night sweats. I am moody and depressed. Anyone know what may help besides using HRT again which I do not want to do.
Name: janet
Country: england
Comment:
I have terrible aching knees and hips, also bloating. I feel quite relieved having read other womens problems. I thought it was some other illness. age 47
Name: Cat
Country: usa
Comment:
Ive been on hrt for 35 years I still have night sweats and a hot face. My doctors say it time to come off hrt I stoped once for 18mos and my bone density went to the fracture level. i take fosamax and hrt
Name: Anne-France
Country: usa
Comment:
My hot flashes were so frequent and severe that I finally found a wonder drug that works for me- Paxil. It also has the added benefit of regulating my moods! I highly recommend it; especially for ladies(such as myself) that can't take HRT.
Name: liz
Country: england
Comment:
I Have gained quite a lot of weight and although I watch what I eat and go to the gym twice a week Im unable to lose weight .I would appreciate any helpful comments.
Name: Jan
Country: england
Comment:
I too usually have a hot flush when I visit the loo in the night. Also stress, temperature and wearing too many warm clothes can bring on a flush. I am 51 and have been having symptoms for 2 years now. I have been taking soya isoflavones and I find they control the flushes at certain times during my cycle-without them the flushes are definately worse.Good luck to all my fellow flushers! Hope it doesn't last long!
Name: Jackie
Country: usa
Comment:
Every joint in my body is hurting, especially my knees and hips. My last period was over a year ago. I am a young 52 yrs. old. What is happening to me?!
Name: Bert
Country: usa
Comment:
I am 51,and have been in menopause for 2 1/2 yrs.Although I use a lubricant sex can be and is usallly very painful and lately at the end a strong burning feeling and I am unable to urinate and when I do I could scream with the burning/painful discomfort. What can I do?
Name: Sue
Country: dubai
Comment:
What plant based foods containing hormones should I eat to help during menopause
Name: Del
Country: other
Comment:
Whenever I awake at night needing to spend a penny (go to the toilet), I always have a hot flush. Is this common?
Name: wendy
Country: england
Comment:
I also have stopped hrt after 10yearsand have started hot flushes again.I am going to try and stick it out without going back on hrt.just hope it does'nt last to long .
Name: Janet
Country: australia
Comment:
In reply to "t" - Although not impossible, it would be extremely unlikely that you would be going through menopause at your age. There are other conditions that can cause excessive sweating. I suggest that you hav a word with your doctor, if only to put your mind at rest. All the best to you.
Name: Question on Clomid
Country: england
Comment:
I am taking Clomid Fertility Drug for 3 / 4 months now and have sweating most nights - is this a side effect of Clomid or might it be Menopause. I am 40.
Name: Caroline
Country: australia
Comment:
Having just discontinued HRT, I am experiencing constant hot flushes. As I am visiting a SARS affected region soon, if they taked my temperature when I am experiencing a hot flush (which is exactly like a rigor), will I be whisked away and confined to quarters until it becomes obvious that I don't have SARS?
Name: june roberts
Country: england
Comment:
needs more info on herbal remadies
Name: t
Country: australia
Comment:
im 16 and get hot flushes daily and sometimes they last all daY. am i going through menopause?
Name: Jane Doe
Country: usa
Comment:
Menopause in itself has its purpose which I assume is to prevent an older woman from having children and not living long enough to care for the child. Apparently our bodies have not yet evolved to catch up with the longer life span.It is my opinion that the side effects of menopause are a freak of nature and that if this were to happen to the male population, every government would spend millions in research to prevent the devasting effects --some of which are never even discussed and no one knows exists until it happens. Hair, skin, nails, and particulary changes not only of the vaginal area, but of the vulva as well. If the males sexual organs were to shrivel up by the age of 50, I repeat, there would be a world wide panic for prevention.
Name: Kate
Country: england
Comment:
Having come off HRT after 10 years I have started hot flushes again. Any advice?
Name: Shell
Country: usa
Comment:
where is the article?
Name: Saira
Country: india
Comment:
Why do women get irritated and go through depression during the phase of menopause?



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Link to articles

Common Symptoms
Vasomotor Problems - Hot Flushes
Vaginal Changes
Muscle & Joint Pains, Hair & Skin Changes
Psychological Changes
Cardiovascular Diseases
Changes in the Skeletal System

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