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Does anyone else think that daydreaming might be a way of playing "pretend", as children do? Might be a way of living a deep and rich inner life? I have been playing pretend since I was a toddler, and I think I do much of the same thing, just in my head. Waking up in the morning and getting ready for the day sets off the most intense and interesting of daydreams. I mumble out loud when the visions get vivid. I dream of connecting with people, saving the world, being the musician in the song I am listening to. It is time consuming, and causes me to be slightly introverted, but I would rather have it than not. What else is there really to do but think?
Name: alexis
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
i find daydreaming as a way for me to feel as if my life is more exciting. Im constantly ignored at home probably due to the fact that im a middle child. but i started getting into reading a year back and now whenever i finish a book i constanty daydream about being the characters so much so that i actually have full conversations with the characters in my head or i reenact different scenarios its quit distracting and i find myself having problems with getting back to reality i may sound crazy but i feel like a child with an imaginary friend thats kinda how the daydreaming is but all in my head.
Name: nishalicious
Country: Canada
Comment:
im 22 and i daydream everytime i read.. my mind wanders either on the thing im reading but checnges drastically tro something else.. or ill start thinking of something else.. im still reading but my mind is elsewhere.. i find it weird.. but i cant read anything cuz this problem is reoccuring and persistant...
Name: ARIANE
Country: Philippines
Comment:
good to know im not alone. i had this prob since i was like grade one. im in high school now and i still daydream a lot. i usually day dream when im listening to music or something. its like when i listen to hayley williams singing i imagine myself singing like her (wow thats really embarrassing to admit) and other situations are like when i listen/watch hip hop dancers i imagine that i can dance like that. im perfectionist btw. i even imagine having a hot bf.. my life is so perfect and gooood in my imaginary world. but thank god i can control it now. sometimes i spent 1-2 hours day dreaming but it depends on my mood. ugh i really hate it.
Name: George East
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I find day dreaming for a few simple minutes a day as a method to relax & clear my mind. Anything longer than 10 minutes is wasting time.
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Name: Starryeyed
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I tried to stop daydreaming once by catching myself when I would drift off and writing down what the daydream was about and what triggered it. I tried that for a few hours before bedtime one night(normally I daydream incessantly). But I found that when I went to bed and try to go to sleep I felt EXTREMELY sad and wanted to cry my eyes out. I felt like I was meaningless and that it was hopeless to try and stop daydreaming and all these negative thoughts came to me. I was not daydreaming at this point but just brooding. I felt empty, etc. So the next day as soon as I was alone I regressed back to daydreaming. I figured that if I didn't, I would just be a depressed puddle of mush who wants to... well... DAYDREAM to escape. Its either that or do drugs (which I have never tried and hope that it will never come to that, cause I think breaking a drug habit would be MUCH harder that to stop incessantly daydreaming). It makes me really sad to hear that people have had to deal with this for YEARS. I am 18 and this started when I was around 12ish and it came about during the separation of my parents. I would drift off into my own world while listening to music. I became and avid listener to the radio and would bounce on my bed while listening to a song, thinking about a dance that I would choreograph to go with the song and it would be better than everyone else's and people would see how brilliant I was for being so innovative and creative and appreciate me and like me. I remember it was lunchtime at my high school and I was standing around with some friends and then all of a sudden I had this overwhelming feeling of sadness and like I just wanted to be alone and cry. This happened again one other time while in a restaurant and each time I could not change my frame of thought. I think these sad feelings trigger my daydream habits. I feel better in my other world and no one can invade or say anything to put be down unless I permit it. But its not real. I daydream that I am some star who is performing, or that I am a beautiful dancer or celebrity who everyone thinks is so awesome and confident and I am not being fake but being myself and being appreciated and recognized for my charm, understanding, smarts, wisdom, depth, kindness, foresight, etc. In my daydream I have a boyfriend who appreciates me and we do not argue but instead respect and spoil each other. I find myself hugging and kissing my teddy bear and talking sweet to it as if it was my imaginary boyfriend LOL (cheesy, I know, but I do it nonetheless). I know I wish to obtain these things in real life (although I cannot hold a note or dance). But I think I am scared of what that entails and find it easier to "retreat" back to daydreaming about these fantasies. I know others would think I am just too weird if they found out, so I isolate myself from them or try not to become too close. Its a vicious cycle but I am relieved to know that I am not the only one. It sure feels that way though... I think I just need to get out and do more things, you know, interact with people more and all that. When you busy yourself with helping people who need help you tend to forget your own problems, right? Its karma, so I will try something new and get back to you guys and see if I can recommend anything from what I have learned.
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Country: Aland Islands
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Country: Aland Islands
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Name: Dan
Country: India
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But it day dreaming become weakness like if not able to get complete sleep and in morning you feel that you are not sleep properly, how you take care about this?
Name: Filza Shaikh
Country: Pakistan
Comment:
day dreaming :-( don't know when i'll get rid of this problem.
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Country: Aland Islands
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Name: Nasrin
Country: Bangladesh
Comment:
I don't know what's really wrong with me because i just seem to daydream so much and i can't control it. i have been doing this ever since i was like 2 or 3 years old and now i just can't stop it. when i am anywhere i just seem to do it and i just pace back and forth all the time. Nothing is really wrong with me like in my studies but i seem to get out of place all the time and i don't have any friends because i just daydream and my family has been seeing that and they thnk i'm weird or something. It usually happens when i am really mad or sad and after like watching a movie or after reding a book. I do it all the time and i can't stop it.
Name: Pharme706
Country: Aland Islands
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Name: cloud 9
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
hey people i really need advice in solving this problem im 24 yrs old as fer back as i can remember iv daydreamed infact my whole childhood is bearly a blur i feel like my mind is the only place i can hide where no one can intrude im a very out going person but find myself drifting away all the time when im at work out with friends even watching tv i find myself staring at the tv for long periods of time just daydreaming and when a film ends my friends will be commenting on certain scenes in the film that i missed because i was daydreaming and taking nothing on board i used to love being able to resort to my own world as a kid but now my life is going dwn hill fast i cant concentrate for long or even short periods reading and writing also induses the daydreaming being on my own ie when im working i need someboby there to talk to otherwise il drift off and find it very difficult pulling myself out of it even when i know im doing it i cant pull out iv heard this may be linked to mental problems older people surfer from im i going to surfer from this as a young man and then the full blown mental disorder when i get older pls any advice is welcome
Name: sudhanshu
Country: India
Comment:
thank god, i have been looking for quite some time to read something about day dreaming this particular habbit has made my life hell i am not been able to do anything or to believe or realise that i am alive or i can do something. day and night while going to sleep or while waking up i cant stop myself from daydreaming i think i do this just to please myself because i want just to escape from the reality and to satisfy my ego
Name: Pharma586
Country: Aland Islands
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Name: Pharmb421
Country: Aland Islands
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Name: twitser
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I started a support group on yahoo for this condition for anyone interested. However, I cannot post the link on this site. The forum is on yahoo group called maladaptivedaydreamers.
Name: Karen
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I am looking to get a support group together for this condition. I've dealt with this my whole life and have had some success in overcoming it. I will post my email address if there is anyone interested in a forum or mailing list with other sufferers.
Name: Me
Country: Guernsey
Comment:
U all need to read about MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMING
Name: Nay
Country: New Zealand
Comment:
I daydream too much. People say 'Oh it's normal' but I do it all the time. I have this character in my head that's like perfect and...ugh sounds so pathetic.
Name: Pharmd909
Country: Aland Islands
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Name: Graham
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I have had this problem for 15 years since I was 11. I am lucky as I can control it but I am alway's wanting to get my fix of my fantasy life. I am currently trying to stop for good as I think it could hold you back from your real life.
Name: Deepu
Country: India
Comment:
As a child i was very much sensitive with lack of attention and overly bullified by my fellow members in both school and home,so daydreaming started unknowingly very slowely but by the time i was 19 it intensified so much that it was almost imppossible for me to live in realworld..once i was a rank student in school but day by day i lost my concentration and became a 2nd class student in college moreover i created many social problems as i started imagining worse things in daydreaming from my dear ones and i lost my best friend due to this..Now i have learnt a method to deal wit daydreaming i.e to challenge myself not to indulge in daydreaming for 1 day at any cost and i will do this every day for only that day.. it is helping me truely beleive me v can overcome this wit our best efforts..Good eyeopening books may help in this aspect..anyways all the best to all my collegues in daydraeming world:)
Name: rootEffort
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
If you daydream. You don't have a lot of time on your hands to solve the problem. However, if you complete this first step you can buy yourself more time. First step, if this is a big enough problem to you tell your self right now that you will not quit in your effort to find help. You will explore every avenue and idea to the best of your ability. Second step, enlist the help of others! Key! you can't do this on your own. Work with your insurance or the doctors themselves if need be. Get a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Learn enough psychology so that you can understand where your treatment is going. Be honest to your doctors and yourself. Be aware of the placebo effect. Determine with your psychiatrist, what is the problem, is this add, ocd, general anxiety, personality disorder, autism, internal addiction to some self inducing stimulant. Find the right medicine to try... keep trying. With your psychologist, work on the cognative and behavior stuff. Be creative, find what works for you. Find the silver lining in the condition. eat right, consult on supplements, do mild excersise that you enjoy. One day, this condition will be easier to deal with. People will know what to do, and we are close! until then lets climb this mountain togther and vow to share what we find with each other along the way. Until the singularity... be well friends.
Name: ruined life
Country: India
Comment:
i know the life is full of struggles and one has to do it . still i am avoiding this due to daydreaming .
Name: ruined life
Country: India
Comment:
i was very good in studies for ten years.after i caught in the vicious circle of daydreaming.after f**ki all of my life i am doing engg. i am going to give cat but already assuming to be an mba from iim. i am also daydreaming a lot of vul gar material about a girl i met in coaching. many incidence of being a graduate from iim is hallucinating by me. only 5 months are left and i have to utilize every second of time. i don't know what to do but i know that if this prolongs i will never going to make it and will repent greatly about it. only god knows his will.i have already overcome this menace and again will try to finish it.i wll have to prove that i am equally good as my friends in iim ana in iit.lets see but i wll try my best and write wwkly repots. may god help us all.
Name: ruined life
Country: India
Comment:
i was very good in studies for ten years.after i caught in the vicious circle of daydreaming.after f**ki all of my life i am doing engg. i am going to give cat but already assuming to be an mba from iim. i am also daydreaming a lot of vul gar material about a girl i met in coaching. many incidence of being a graduate from iim is hallucinating by me. only 5 months are left and i have to utilize every second of time. i don't know what to do but i know that if this prolongs i will never going to make it and will repent greatly about it. only god knows his will.i have already overcome this menace and again will try to finish it.i wll have to prove that i am equally good as my friends in iim ana in iit.lets see but i wll try my best and write wwkly repots. may god help us all.
Name: kal
Country: India
Comment:
my name means imagination. so very right. i have always been daydreaming. it all stopped for a good13 years again it has started. i am desperate that it ends. i can identify the cause. it is depression. i know that i cant solve my problems. so i day dream . in my dreams i fulfill all my desires .but when will this malady end?
Name: lostb
Country: India
Comment:
i have controlled this f##king habit .but again dumped by it .i will do anything to overcome this menace
Name: lostb
Country: India
Comment:
i have controlled this f##king habit .but again dumped by it .i will do anything to overcome this menace
Name: Jabilo
Country: Angola
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Name: A.K
Country: Pakistan
Comment:
I am an Excessive day dreamer and i cant control it... its been affecting my life and my studies. I just cant seem to control it no matter how hard i try. I guess it is related to my past as my mother died when i was 7 and then my Father married again when i was eight and after that my life has been pretty much difficult . right now i am 19 and have to get into university but day dreaming has really decreased my capacity to study. My day dreaming can go to an extent that i only study for 10 minutes the whole day while the rest 18 hours i day dream while my father thinks i am studying.. I have to seriously quit this habbit because i fear that if i dont i will be never succesful in life.. I seriuosly need a cure so that i can lead a normal life . I also have the habbit of pacing anticlockwise and thinking continously...
Name: again failed
Country: India
Comment:
i had overcome this nonsence but again for 2 days i have started daydreaming. i was very happy when i wasn't daydream . i have to give answers to many people in life . and have to achieve many things for people i love. so from now on i will again not daydream. and fight for my pride and owner.
Name: Ace
Country: Solomon Islands
Comment:
Good Day. We succeed only as we identify in life, or in war, or in anything else, a single overriding objective, and make all other considerations bend to that one objective. I am from Gabon and now teach English, give true I wrote the following sentence: "Airline tickets wholesaler specializing in unsold airline seats at bargain rates and last minute special fares offered by airlines." Thank you so much for your future answers :(. Ace.
Name: rahu
Country: India
Comment:
hi day dreaming is very bad for me is there any therapy to come out from this?
Name: deepak
Country: India
Comment:
i am also addicted to day dreaming.but i have found a solution ,ie at morning i watch birds pets their acitivities it help me to leave in present moment and second methode is to do short periode work's like washing hand's or wearing cloth's etc, more time than they required and pay attention.i believe we surely win the war.
Name: determined
Country: India
Comment:
with in 5 days i am going to finish this extremely detrimental menace. then only i will report you people whom i thing are my dearest friend . god bless us all.
Name: anand
Country: India
Comment:
it is so nice to find you people.i am also an addicted daydreamer. i daydream about my girlfriend all day long.i have great achievements in academics . but from last 8 years i have ruined my life because of this menace. i am not able to concentrate more than few seconds due to this addiction. i wish icould overcome this problem and live in present . iwant to live a normal life ,. i know this is my problem and i will have to fight it out. i will finish this thing very quicly
Name: Saina
Country: Ghana
Comment:
Please help me..please..
Name: Saina
Country: Ghana
Comment:
I had a broke up with my boyfriend two months ago..Before that my relationship was runing very smoothly..I loved him (infact now also love him very much)..but Ineed to move to another country for the sake of job..And just after coming to the new place leaving behing my boyfrined in the old place.. I came to know that he already has a girl frined and he broked up with me..but still I blame myself that it was my attitude for which I had the break up..I donot have the eligiblt to continue any relation..why?? why I still blame myself and to go back to him while he left no point in insulting me..These thoughts are haunting me every moment.I cannot ee=ven concentrate for single minute in my work..could you pleae help me...
Name: Wmj
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
This forum must have ended two, maybe even three years ago. I have also been a daydreamer for as long as I can remember. To be very honest, daydreaming has helped me survive a lot in my life. I sometimes I think, ‘well some people turn to a lot more harmful things to deal with the problems in their lives’. Trouble started when this became an addiction, almost incapacitating at times. It’s like I can’t do anything else, I can’t focus; my world just rotates around daydreaming. I am seeking help from a psychologist; we will see what comes out of that.
Name: sierra
Country: Canada
Comment:
I;ve been daydreaming since i was 10..coincidentally around the age where i started to become attracted to the opposite gender. I would create elaborate stories and scenarios of relationships, marriages and with guys. I don't know if it's due to the lack of positive male relationship in my life but it's seriously taking over. I would also daydream about being cool, popular pretty etc. Like i would just be standing and then start daydreaming about this. It's seriously interfering with my social life and studies. I REALLY want to stop this and just "live life"// PLEASE PleASE HELP ME
Name: bear
Country: Italy
Comment:
hi i'd like to share my experience: i'm 25 and i started daydreaming when i was about 12. now it's been about 1 year that i dont daydream almost anymore. when i was a child i had problems with family, friends etc... and i kept dreaming for entire hours about being cool/beautiful etc and in a few months i fell into depression. during the years my dreams slowly changed: i dreamt about being less famous, less cool, until i was a more "normal" person and i kept ddreaming less and less until i finally stopped it. it was a natural process and i didn't force myself to stop it. i'm happy about having achieved that but i have also to admit i had a huge nervous breakdown because i understood i had to face reality and i was not prepared for it. now i see a psychoanalyst and she diagnosed me avoidant disorder. but i wanna hope the future will be better. good luck guys, i feel your pain.
Name: jose
Country: India
Comment:
rape him in the b-hole!
Name: saadia
Country: Pakistan
Comment:
my son daydream about his games on ps3.his classwork is incomplete n he is very slow?tell me wht to do?
Name: xckblzdu etcl
Country: Afghanistan
Comment:
mrjhp bhdrqvkgo fdywc crmlyt eqxwfgc csed nofit bmaqw rxlome
Name: zxfsn wzhdj
Country: Afghanistan
Comment:
whmnuorji gqcotluaw csrg solmtqg fzecjpb htgwfek jaux
Name: sandy
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I've been daydreaming for most of my life, and I'm just realizing that maybe I need to stop. I take people from my real life and put them in my mind, and I control them. I guess it's like playing with dolls. I have them do what I want them to do. They say what I want them to say. It's about control, at least for me. I can make everything happen the way I want. I try to control people in my real life too, but in my daydreams I'm 100% in control.
Name: SickandTired
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I suffer from this disorder and it is driving me nuts. It is like a cancer that takes over your life. I am a functional daydreamer now, but there was a time when i couldn't even function. I would be held up in my own mind unable to get out of bed, and when i did get up, I would be still dding. I had headaches from over daydreaming. I also noticed my memory was sharp as a tack, now not so much. i had to drop out of school because of my lack of concentration on anything but my own dreams. I need a way out desperately. I am going to try different things and post them, i am glad to know i am not alone, and i'll be praying for you all and myself to beat this thing.
Name: Anita Bhadra
Country: India
Comment:
Hi all . My son is of 11 years old. He is habit of day dreaming that is effecting his studies and social life also . Everybody start suggesting me to go to doctor . Kindly advice how to tackle the problem - A worried Mother
Name: j
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
also google "extreme fantasizer" and you will find a good article from the New York Times. The website of course is revolutionhealth, sorry for the typo
Name: j
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
there is a discussion group on a website called revoltionhealth . I found the thread by googling fanatsy world daydreaming. There are many, many people like us.
Name: Butterfly
Country: Australia
Comment:
My personal advice to those who want to control their daydreams: FIND THE ROOT; TRIGGER EVENTS OFTEN THERE IS AN EMOTIONAL DESIRE THAT WAS NOT UNFULFILLED OR AN EMOTIONAL LINK ASSOCIATED WITH THE DAYDREAMS. THIS COULD BE LACK OF ACCEPTANCE OF YOUR NATURE (SHYNESS), CONFIDENCE, DESIRE FOR MORE FRIENDS(GET OUT THERE MORE).... AND WORK FROM THERE I DON'T THINK IT'S NECESSSARY TO GET RID OF IT. IF YOU REALLY DADYREAM TOO MUCH FOR THE PURE SAKE OF IT, YOU SHOULD FOR NOW, TELL YOURSELF OKAY THATS WHAT I DO. SET UP TIME FOR IT LATER ON, SO YOU ARE STILL ABLE TO LEAD A PRODUCTIVE LIFE AND YOU GET YOUR DAYDREAMS I FOUND WHEN I TRIED TO ELIMINATE I DAYDREAMED EVEN MORE THE NEXT FEW DAYS FOR THE DAYDREAM TIMES I MISSED. THIS CAME FROM THINKING DAYDREAMING WAS SOMETHING BAD AND ELIMINATED. IN SHORT WORK WITH YOUR DAYDREAMING HABIT NOT AGAINST IT. IF YOU WORK AGAINST IT WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF TEMPTED OR TAKEN OVER BY IT, BEAUSE YOU SEE IT AS NEGATIVE YOU WILL TRY AND INDULGE JUST THAT BIT MORE, WHICH WILL END UP BEING HOURS. WHEREAS IF YOU ACCEPT YOUR DAYDREAMING, YOU'LL FIND IT EASIER TO THINK, OK, I WILL DAYDREAM LATER, RIGHT NOW I HAVE TO FINISH.... THEN I WILL DAYDREAM.!! GOODLUCK
Name: sam
Country: Other
Comment:
hi i been daydreaming a lot it was perfect really cool i just my friends we hang out a lot name mark and eric and jay . we been playing guitar a lot someone just kiss me a girl her name nicole i really really hate her .
Name: leane
Country: Other
Comment:
lastnigth someone just kiss on the lips like two guys i don't know what happen i just star to wake up and i felt a sleep again i just saw my friend name angel on my dream we just about my dream but i never that i was dreaming again so i just wake up again i just say .i was dreaming again and i thou i just tell to angel about my dream i just keep dreaming about something that perfect and sometimes . my dream is not perfect i just gonna cry a lot like really cry that i never know well just sometimes
Name: screwed
Country: India
Comment:
i mean to say ""i really feel we all deserve to live normal lives and NOT drift through life occupied in our own worlds...""" sorry
Name: screwed
Country: India
Comment:
hey guys try eft....emotional freedom technique....search for it on google...it take a very small portion of ur day but if u practice eft everyday for day dreaming it helps...it helps in solving core issues which coz the ddin as well.....please do this as i really feel we all deserve to live normal lives and drift through life occupied in our own worlds cheers!! god bless
Name: Simone
Country: Jamaica
Comment:
I daydream alot.I also suffer from depression and I am an OK looking girl, many people think im beautiful;however, this constant daydreaming i think can be a sign of things we want or wish could happen. I particularly daydream about success in my love life as well as success in my career life... and just life in general. sometimes i have bad daydreams, if someone hurts me i imagine something bad happening to them not necessarily death-thats a bit extreem for me, i wish i could find a cure. I guess there is a cure, but it is withing each of us.I enjoy daydreaming its a getaway from the harshness of reality, but it doesnt solve the problem in REALITY. Lets just hope for better days, days of true happiness, afterall what is man finally left with-HOPE. I wish everyone better days and hope we all we be cured of CONSTANT DAYDREAMS.
Name: MD
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I have to admit that I thought for years that I was the only freak who was like this you have no idea how glad I am to find this website!! My dds and feelings are exactly like country girl and glad that I have someone that can relate to what I am going through. I am not attractive in the least bit so people make fun of me a lot and in my daydreams I wished I was pretty and had a lot of friends. But in reality I am very quiet and get overstimulated when I am around a lot of people. So country girl I know exactly to a tea how you feel and the emotions you go through along with others, and like you dont know how to go about for help or if there is any.
Name: nirvana
Country: India
Comment:
Hey Guys, Day dreaming is an escapism from the present situation/problem. So accept the present situation and try to take action towards solving the problem. Once you start taking the action, you start coming back to the real world. If the mind drifts into day dreaming, again remind your self and try to continue the action towards solving the present problems from which you are escaping.The more time you spend in taking action towards problem solving, more pleasant you feel and you fell that you are back into the real world and you find yourself happier that you stopped day dreaming. The point is not to escape from the present stressful situation, but to accept it and try to fix it. Don't be too optimistic in setting goal, that you can convert your present situation into the personality/situation you dream.Given the present situation put a plan, what practically can be done so that fixing the problem does not look like a big/scary task. Once you have the plan and once you start implementing your plan, you suddenly realize that you have stopped day dreaming and how happier you are for stopping that daydreaming habbit. Wish you all the best.
Name: Lisa
Country: Canada
Comment:
My daydreaming is much different then anyones i have heard. I daydream everyday all day if i could about living with gang members and being controlled and raped and beaten everyday. I am a singer whch i use my music everyday and pretend the person on my music singing is actually me singing. i have killed people watched my best friends and family die and so on everything in it is a nightmare. I am also a herion addict but not in real life. You name it i daydreamed it. Anything bad and scary that is. And i love. Does anyone daydream this stuff?? Please respond
Name: JC
Country: Germany
Comment:
I think the suggestion to try to do something that resembles what you do in your daydreams in real life is a good idea. I have set myself the modest goal of creating a new space for my creative hobby. I will probably rent a small room, move my stuff there etc...a project for one year. I have been working on this for about three months, very slowly evenings and week-ends and I find I daydream less frequently. And I move more and feel more at peace with the world around me. I´ll report back how it goes. It would be nice to have a real forum and website. Unfortunately I am just a computer user, not a programmer.
Name: fernando
Country: Canada
Comment:
As screwed said, in psychotherapy, daydreams sometimes are interpreted as unexplored experiences that we ant to do, and haven't done. Some of them are impossible (like being superhero), but some other may be not that difficult to achieve. So why don't you take some time, think about the daydreams you usually have, and write down those ones you think you may achieve during a year or something?. For example I've been daydreaming a lot about hiking and climbing big mountains and feel free up there. Well, I'm far away from being an expert but I started taking climbing lessons. And it feels good. Give yourself less time to daydream, and make yourself busy exploring those aspects of your life that have been keeping hidden from yourself. Cheers.
Name: fernando
Country: Canada
Comment:
I have no time right now and from about a year, but, does someone wants to occupy his/her brain in something more real than daydreams and make a webpage or a little forum about this?. We may exchange ideas about it. Cheers.
Name: screwed
Country: India
Comment:
daydreamin could be the result of havin unconcius desires which we deny....there are things which we cant get and some of us are sensitive or havent been explained in the right manner how to deal with stuff...not been given the right amount of attention and love....i guess wht fernando said is correct its not one prob of ddin its many together which make us dd we need to find out what is the reason behind us ddin so constantly...its very hard but i guess its a starting point...and prayer....affirmations help...alot...
Name: screwed
Country: India
Comment:
daydreamin could be the result of havin unconcius desires which we deny....there are things which we cant get and some of us are sensitive or havent been explained in the right manner how to deal with stuff...not been given the right amount of attention and love....i guess wht fernando said is correct its not one prob of ddin its many together which make us dd we need to find out what is the reason behind us ddin so constantly...its very hard but i guess its a starting point...and prayer....affirmations help...alot...
Name: Dazer
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
This site is amazing!! Seriously reading some of these posts makes me feel so much better about my weirdness!
Name: fernando
Country: Canada
Comment:
I'm glad that there is a forum about this. I think you guys already read the only serious article about us :"maladaptive daydreaming". It is very bad that so little research have been done. Although I've been doing my own internet research I would say that excessive daydream falls into the category of either Attention Deficit Disorder, Alzeimer's disease or Asperger's syndrome. So guys looks for those if you are still lost and try to match your symptoms. I am an astronomy graduate student, I'm 28th. I got used to daydream since adolescence, and finally found out the dreamworld I've been living in order to avoid reality, pain and loneliness (although I have lots of acquaintances). But I'm strong enough to start doing things about it. I'm constantly (now) reminding me not to daydream, I'm been fully loading my days with activities and meeting new people so I don't have time to daydream besides my nightdreams. It is bad being still a student cause I have no money to get a precise diagnosis, but anyway, I narrowed down my probably disease so I know more or less how to proceed. You can overcome it as long as you realize you have it and start doing things to heal. In my case, socializing more, and having a psychotherapist (to learn how to fight the anxieties, and depression I fell down after realizing what little I have accomplished in life, and how dark look the future to me right now) is helping me a lot. Excessive daydream is not a single condition, I'm sure you guys have other conditions besides that, so try to find first the easiest ones to defeat and diagnose, and try to save lots of money, since it is an unexplored condition, you'll need experts that may lead you and also medication. My life have been half real, half imaginary (cause I'm always attending social events), so I guess my recovery could be easier. We'll see. Good luck to everyone!
Name: CarlaBee
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I have been daydreaming in excess since as far as I can remember. I moved to another neighborhood at around the age of 11 and didn't have any friends in the area. My old friends and I were too young to travel alone and come visit eachother without a chapperon. I would escape to my daydreams. It became addictive. I could be anyone, doing anything, any where. As beautiful as I wanted doing fabulous things. they made me laugh out loud or even cry. Some morbid feature in my mind. Create characters, have a soundtrack. I was the director. But I think when you are secretly unhappy u can daydream to make u feel better. I would daydream about a child of my own for years. I decided to have one so I don't daydream about babies at all now. im fulfilled in that area of my life. I think if I lost weight and was in a meaningful relationship I wouldn't daydream much. maybe not at all because I daydream a lot about what a life the fit and beautiful have. But I think excessive daydreaming is a comfort...just as alcohol or food...whatever. But then again one part of me doesn't want to stop. why not enjoy every moment of life? alone in your head or not. I know for a fact that I have some wants and needs that cause me to daydream. knowing is half the battle
Name: not me
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I found this comment on another website when I goodled "excessive daydreaming". it came up on a site at ask metafilter. I thought it was a good post, hope the OP doesn´t mind that i add it here: ""I have been addicted to the picture show in my head for as long as I can remember. It carried me through some sour times, and added breath to many times that were sweet. I followed the plots in it all the way to becoming a graphic designer, which allows me both the technical abilities to make posters for the shows in my head, and the paycheck to keep my real-live body from starving to death. Win-win. I am 35, and have done a few things, but maybe not as many as my mental cinema showed me I might do by now. I decided, about a year ago I think, to start doing things that produced tangible results that I could share with others (hence the graphic design) as a way of leaving something behind when I shuffle off this mortal coil other than memories in other people's minds. What this meant is that I had to start spending a lot of time, and a little money, working on one thing in particular. It was hard to nail it down. Like you I have never been anything but restless (last year I applied to the army to be a helicotper pilot, the year before that I wanted to be a boat captain, the year before that I wanted to be a professional writer, and so on. Getting through four years of school toward one single goal was excruciating for me), so the project I chose to persue was one that would allow me to travel a little. I'm building a boat. A small sailboat, and it's slow going. Your Milage May Vary, but I suggest, as someone who has had a similar displacement of disposition throughout his life, that you decide on a project that will produce a tangible result, and stick to it no matter what. Write a short story, build a small shed, paint enough pictures to have a small show, learn enough songs to play at an open-mic night, start making crop-circles in nearby fields and let no one know it's you for as long as you can, learn jiujitsu and enter a tournament, learn to fly a plane. Do something that others can see or admire, then share it with them. Ultimately the point is not to share whatever you're doing with others at all, but to find the joy in doing the thing itself rather than just thinking about it (making it something others will see at some point, however, kind of keeps you focused) Also, you are not an alien. I know plenty of people who feel just like you. You're just bold enough to voice this feeling to strangers."" ...I am trying to change my job in a more creative direction, maybe drawing or vector illustrations. I hope it will help me to unify the inner and outer world...creative daydreaming can be a blessing as well as a curse...
Name: Karen
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I have been suffering from excessive daydreaming or fantasy proneness since childhood. I recently visited a psychiatrist that specializes in hypnotherapy. Since our session my daydreaming has decreased dramatically. The reason is, most highly imaginitive people are likely to have a positive reaction to hypnosis when you have a good practitioner. I urge you to find out more about this option. Use a search engine to find the website for Society for Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis (SCEH) (The site will not allow me to post the address). You can request referrals in your area. Best of luck in the battle against this menace.
Name: dreamer
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I have to stop this. Because at the end of another day here, I find that it has passed me by, and I have let it be nothing. Really nothing. The sun was shining, it was lovely. But I stayed here, stuck in my own brain. I could have gone out, walked, met with people. I would have enjoyed all of that. But instead I let it all go by without me. Because I was somewhere else, running nonsense through my brain. I'm not stupid - it's a bright brain and it could be engaged with a million fantastic and useful and creative activities. But this is not creative. this kind of dreaming is not even close to creative. i know this. i am an artist, but I let days go by when i don't create anything, except this mess in my head. It scares me, because I don't know how to stop it. Except to just stop. I am 41. This has been going on for years. How much could I have done with this wasted time? I look at myself and find myself pathetic, because the whole of this wonderful thing called life is there for me to grab and I choose not to. So many times I think I must stop, must never do this again. But the next day I wake up, and fall straight back towards the crap.
Name: dreamer
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
Kushi - nobody here knows what to do. If we did, we wouldn't be here. We are all in the same situation. The only way out of it that I know, is to stop. It's like smoking - the only way to stop is to stop. But (like smoking) I find it incredibly hard to stop, because it is comforting.
Name: Kushi
Country: South Africa
Comment:
have been day-dreaming since I can remember & am seriously looking for a way to stop. When I was younger I was bullied a lot at school, & didn't have many friends although I attempted to make a lot of friends. I then would imagine people playing with me & that I would be the most popular...(perhaps around the age of 18) & that still happens to me today at the age of 22. I would appreciate it a lot if you could offer some guidance as to how I can solve this problem. I can't manage to FOCUS on anything, not driving, not eating, not watching my favourite movie, not speaking to my bf, I day dream about talking to my bf or being with friends but when I am with them I am day dreaming about some thing else... I try so hard to concentrate on everything I do and to FOCUS... but nothing works for me, please advice me what to do...
Name: dreamstar
Country: India
Comment:
i am a 29 year old woman, been doing this for abbout 20 years now! i daily fantasize for hours upon hours! the bottom line is, the daydream world is alot more interesting than the real world. another thing is that, daydreaming is the most fun out of all the activities i do, nothing else compares. i am lucky i live with someone else because at least i have to pretend to be present for a few hours everyday while at home! someone once told me that i need to find another outlet from where i can get the "high" i do from daydreaming. daydreaming makes me feel free!!! it makes me feel unlimited. there is no other activity that does. i know that if i meditate and chant and do alot of spiritual activities my concious and unconcious mind could be changed a bit and maybe it would change my tendencies, but still i am not sure if i would overcome it all. i meditate everyday for a bit, it has helped but still its not a sure. i need something that i can get engrossed in 100 percent. i wish it was spiritual life, but i have such a strong attachment to daydreaming and the high is too good! what should i do instead?
Name: country girl
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I can't remember the last time I lived in reality. In school, I thought, if the people didn't like me, it didn't matter. I had my own "people" I vowed on my 40th birthday that I would join the real world for once. I am now 41 and have been in and out---but more in than out. It's a hard habit to kick. I like the people in my world much better than the real ones. I can trust them. They're intersting, and no matter what I say or do, it's always right. So on the one side, I'm cool and well-spoken and successful, in the real side, people see me as quiet and backward and different. It's like I'm two totally different people. How does this happen? And why does it persist. It feels like some childish play that I can't let go of. When I try, I actually grieve for the friends and even family members that I have brought to life in my head. The real ones let me down and my dd people are always there when I need them. How do you let go of that? I wonder if we can share our stories or "alternate realities" to see the simularities and differences. This week I went without my "friends" and after five days, I feel down and lonely. It seems every show I watched, every song I listened to tied into some memory of the dream world. Now I feel lost. I don't even know what I would be like if I were really me. So it's kinda like emerging and looking aournd at the outside world and thinking, how can I fulfill my wants, needs, interests etc. out here. Is it possible? It has to be. I look around and see other people with real friends and real social interactions and that makes me depressed and more like an outsider. Is there any solution?
Name: iceman
Country: Iceland
Comment:
Have you people ever talked to a psychologist?
Name: Ashtongirl
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
What makes a daydream? Is it what is currently on our minds or the influences around us. Thats what i would like to know. Sometimes we cant help but daydream and go off, its a way we know were still there. I try so hard to focus but its just...i cant. Joe you have a point. Im also addicted to daydreaming if its even possible.
Name: Confused
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I have been daydreaming for quit awhile now. It's
Name: jc
Country: Germany
Comment:
Ruthie, that is really interesting!
Name: Ashtongirl
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
In school i have so many problems day dreaming. Whether its about my boyfriend...or problems i might be having. I am a freshman in Highschool right now...and i always get caught off guard...its such a bad habit. I Try to focus my attention on what im learning..but in the end i tend to get disinterested and go off into another world of dreams and fantasies.I think its getting worse...i need help. But in my opinion...daydreaming is a trip to expand ur mind and go somewhere where u know no one else has gone. Its a fun place u can have to yourself...and tahts the joys.
Name: Dreamer
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
Ruthie, You have given me hope. And a reason to look forward to menopause!
Name: Ruthie
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I had problems with constant daydreaming for decades. It wasn't the deliberate kind of temporary daydreaming where you imagine what it would be like to marry the boy at the next desk at school, or anything like that. It was a completely different world, necessarily because I didn't know any place or time on earth that would accommodate everything I had in the fantasies (it wasn't always the same one, though particular favorites could last for years). I was frequently in trouble for doing this at school from junior high school onwards - one teacher sent me to a doctor because she thought I was deaf. I did very well in school, though. At one point when I was about 45 it occurred to me to wonder how much more I would have accomplished in my life if I had not spent about 50% of my time 'out of this world'. One thing I have noticed in this forum is how many people started doing this around puberty. That was true of me also. AND, since I am probably the oldest person here (60s), let me add that it stopped abruptly at menopause, and the same was true for my sister, who had also had this kind of daydreaming. Stopped and was not recoverable. I couldn't do it anymore even though I tried! This has to have something to do with hormones.
Name: ray
Country: India
Comment:
I am just curious. How do you guys get along with your coworkers. any problems?What about choosing a career? In my dreams I change personalities and occupations constantly.Is this why I cant choose a career in real life?or could not choose a major in college
Name: girly
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
i think the best thing to do is get rid of the trigger items, like i recently threw away my mp3 player and walkman. and headphones. and it costs me alot of money! and now i have no choice but not to "act out" those scenes, and since music was the trigger, now it is gone! the difference is i have conpletely stopped actively daydreaming, that is, i dont lock myself into a room, play music and play the role of who i want to be what situation i am in etc. so instead, now it is just imagining things rather than role playing. so it is already better! what i am trying to do now is destroy the daydream as soon as it manifests or as soon as i notice that i am doing it. and then go back to the "normal life" again. what i am realizing though is normal life is alot more boring than fantasy. and there is nothing that i feel passionate about doing ( as much as daydreaming). so what do i do? what kind of hobbies are good as a substitute for people like us who enjoy feeling ecstatic and free like we do in our daydreams? i think it has to be something physical to counterbalance the mental occupation. but what to do instead?
Name: pygh
Country: Iran
Comment:
I'm from a broken home, during my chiuldhood the only sanctuary I could find to escape from my always fighting parents was daydreaming. now I'm in pretty satisfactory situation and i do know if I put more efforts into my studying and education, there would be a bright future expecting me. But still whenever I come to a problem, after some effort, I surrender myself to my dreams. I have decided many times to put this habit aside, many times I vowed that I would take the rein of my mind, but all in vein.i'm afraid it might destruct my future totally.totally frustrated and not know what to do about this
Name: girly
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
what i am trying to ask you all, is, do you guys think that what we aspire for in our daydreams are things that we really want, we value etc? because how i live in real life and what my beleifs are completely contradictory to my fantasies. i love my privacy, dont really like socializing too much. also in my fantasies i am super rich, when in real life, i live very simply, barely shop, dont like shopping and am not that materialistic at all. so i am very confused...... please give me advise as this seems the only place where i can relate...
Name: girly
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
its really frustrating that there are no self-help books or articles on this. i am 28 and i have been doing this for 16 years now, so i guess for more than half my life!! i remember when i started i had first moved to this country and was really picked on and bullied in school, i had no friends at all! so, i used to put on my headphones and imagine that i was the center of all attention. its been all these years, many things have changed, i have friends, a loving husband, a good job , etc...but i still crave that hour or two every night where i lock myself in a room and dance around to the latest fantasies created in my head where i am top of the world. alot of my obsession is around a few people who my parents always compared me to, and said that they were "better looking, more well behaved, successful " etc. in fact my fantasies are always about showing these people that i am better than them. that is the only way that i can "beat them" in the race that my indian parents put me into. sad thing is most of these kids ended up going to harvard etc, and now are doctors, engineers, lawyers etc. i on the other hand rebelled against my parents and lived very unconventionally to my conservative family circles. the saddest part is that when i think deeply, or even in real life, i dont regret not going to a top school, having a so called top career etc ( i think its so conformist and typical anyways) , but sometimes when i am daydreaming, i imagine that i had studied hard and wrote lots of books, etc, just to prove to these judgemental people that i am worth something, so i daydream and act out those stuations. i am torn because do is what i truly beleive what i act out in my daydreams? or what my stance in in real life? which one is what i truly beleive?
Name: tired
Country: Canada
Comment:
I have no idea how long this forum as been going on and whether it is still active but I am glad I found it. I have been daydreaming for 10+ years and I am getting really sick of it. I know that I have to stop and that only I can do it, but its like a switch that I can't turm off. Infact, it feels like I have no control over my mind. I take confort knowing I am not the only one but I am afraid that my whole life will be inside my head. I am depressed about the whole thing...I am both searching for a way to stop and trying.
Name: Mary
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I too talk to myself, when I am cleaning mostly. But, I never speak out load just in my head. I know it's wired. I love running because it allows me to day dream as well. Sometimes I make up these entire stories about my new life. I do however seem to focus on the same situations over and over! This may sound really strange but it some how relaxes me.
Name: ray
Country: India
Comment:
Does any one talk to themselves? I sometimes carry a conversation among several people with myself.
Name: M
Country: Australia
Comment:
I'm going to try the following - CBT to try and address my depression about the actual world (using e.g. Feeling Good the new Mood Therapy Book) and then use a rubber band to snap my wrist every time I daydream. Also some meditation to increase mindfulness.
Name: confused
Country: Malaysia
Comment:
maybe u guys can check on ADD(Attention deficit disorder).The symptOften are fails to give close attention to details or makes mistakes in schoolwork; difficulty sustaining attention in tasks; seems not to listen; fails to follow instructions or finish work; unorganized; difficulties with schoolwork or homework; loses things like school assignments, books, tools, etc.; easily distracted; forgetful about daily activities
Name: btvurlxvuuc
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
i suffer from daydreaming aswell. It basically has ruined my life. i am aware that i need to start living again.. i want to try and stop... is it possible for me to keep a diary on this site? i think it may help me and others i can have comments and reviews from people who understand what i am going thorugh and will not think im crazy.... i would like to try an experiment where i establish a two week routine where i pack out my days and do my best to stick to it...i will be completly honest..i plan to do this anyway but i would like to do it on this site is this possible? because if it works...i can recomend others do the same..this could be like breakthrough i think we daydreamers need to stop asking if there is a cure and go out and find one... its ruining our lives we cant function naormally and no one try to tell me this is a good thing...eevryone says how much potential i have..i dont see any...
Name: screwed
Country: India
Comment:
how about self hypnosis for daydreaming?? anyone tried that?? it would be better to do hypnosis to find the real coz of the dds and then u know be aware and also self hypnosis for helping in stopping the dds just an idea dont know how it would work out...
Name: screwed
Country: India
Comment:
hi day dreaming i something that is bad for me i have done a lot that has harmed others and myself and i am repenting....i agree with francesca in that dding makes u forget about the consequences of ur actions coz i did that i hurt my best friend i then believed that i loved somebody and as i was dding away to glory about me and my love i ended up developing a false self just to make those dds real i mean dd had actually become a reality i didnt care about anything my parents didnt allow me to get very social as a child and i wasnt the typical good looking and liked child i had negative tendencies and i dded a lot a lot means a lot and that was my only escape i just couldnt help it i mean when u dd u dont pay attention to the reality u dont see the good bad i didnt and i just being irritated by boredom and even acted out i know i have a personality disorder i cant listen to music without having thoughts and images in my head about me being in glory every person every situation every second something triggers my escape from reality i mean my dding is so bad i am actually so ashamed coz every prospective person is a lover i mean its like i could just pick up anyone i see on the bus stop or anywhere who just luks at me casually and i just go like build up an image for that person in my head and then starts the dding i dont even know the real person and u know poof i disappear into my world and u know i have mood swings and i just have a solution with a dd even a small thought i cant do a nything normally i start imagining how it would be to be someone else immediately the moment i see someone having fun and i hate the way i look i know i am suffering from narcissistic personality disorder and u know every person anything and everything can carry me away and its always about seeking comfort and u know love and admiration or awe i can be mean very mean coz whenever i realize the reality and come back to earth everything just crashes and i remove my frustration dding is bad coz its just all consuming and i am consumes at the age of 21 i am looking into seeking help but i would request people to take care and please not indulge in this habit to the extent of dding irrational or believe in ur dds to such an extent that u believe they suffice dont let the sensations of the dd be more real than reality to the extent that u beome numb in reality thank u all for making me feel a bit comfortable doesnt change the fact i am a monster
Name: screwed
Country: India
Comment:
hi day dreaming i something that is bad for me i have done a lot that has harmed others and myself and i am repenting....i agree with francesca in that dding makes u forget about the consequences of ur actions coz i did that i hurt my best friend i then believed that i loved somebody and as i was dding away to glory about me and my love i ended up developing a false self just to make those dds real i mean dd had actually become a reality i didnt care about anything my parents didnt allow me to get very social as a child and i wasnt the typical good looking and liked child i had negative tendencies and i dded a lot a lot means a lot and that was my only escape i just couldnt help it i mean when u dd u dont pay attention to the reality u dont see the good bad i didnt and i just being irritated by boredom and even acted out i know i have a personality disorder i cant listen to music without having thoughts and images in my head about me being in glory every person every situation every second something triggers my escape from reality i mean my dding is so bad i am actually so ashamed coz every prospective person is a lover i mean its like i could just pick up anyone i see on the bus stop or anywhere who just luks at me casually and i just go like build up an image for that person in my head and then starts the dding i dont even know the real person and u know poof i disappear into my world and u know i have mood swings and i just have a solution with a dd even a small thought i cant do a nything normally i start imagining how it would be to be someone else immediately the moment i see someone having fun and i hate the way i look i know i am suffering from narcissistic personality disorder and u know every person anything and everything can carry me away and its always about seeking comfort and u know love and admiration or awe i can be mean very mean coz whenever i realize the reality and come back to earth everything just crashes and i remove my frustration dding is bad coz its just all consuming and i am consumes at the age of 21 i am looking into seeking help but i would request people to take care and please not indulge in this habit to the extent of dding irrational or believe in ur dds to such an extent that u believe they suffice dont let the sensations of the dd be more real than reality to the extent that u beome numb in reality thank u all for making me feel a bit comfortable doesnt change the fact i am a monster
Name: peekabu
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
It feels so good to know that other people are going through it too. I actually found out that my brother and my cousin are going through the same thing. For me, it was a particular bad time in life that triggerred it. I dreamed about being a happy person who is admired because I did not feel admired by people that I wanted to be admired by.
Name: dreamsunlimited
Country: India
Comment:
does excessive daydreaming leads to anxiety disorders?
Name: ray
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Does any one suffers from anxiety disorder.
Name: kate
Country: Australia
Comment:
Dont forget that it also effects you physically. one of my knees if sometimes dodgy for up to a month as i put too much weight on it whiel i am daydreaming. i think eventually it will need professional help...just cos of my daydreaming.. to others who arent so busy..i find it easier to reduce it when i am busy...so maybe being more involved with activities? longer job? more physical job etc? good luck
Name: David
Country: Bulgaria
Comment:
I love daydreaming! Good inspiration for drawing and painting. :)
Name: Timothy
Country: Canada
Comment:
Good lord, this bloody site won't let me post the URL for lostjohnny's group. Here's my workaround: health. groups. yahoo. ,c,o,m, /group /lostjohnny2001 / Just delete the commas and combine it into one line. Or if you're too lazy, It's under Health and Wellness -> Advice in the Yahoo Directory. Just use the search button and put it "lostjohnny2001"
Name: Timothy
Country: Canada
Comment:
I advise you all to join lostjohnny2001's group. So far he's the only member. With the possible exception of me the next time he reads his e-mail. I believe it would be extremely useful and therapeutic to have a private place to discuss our "issues," a place specifically created for that sort of thing. After all, this is, in fact, a comment area for an article on childhood daydreaming/attention difficulties, and it was not the intent of the authors to have all this stuff end up here. Not to mention that it is extremely unorganized, and these posts aren't going in any real direction. And last, and likely least, we can discuss and analyze the specific content of our daydreams. I've noticed that doesn't seem to be happening here, likely because it's too shameful and childish to mention on a public site. So come one, come all to lostjohnny's group, and let the gavel of daylight fall. And as a little addendum for Kasia, that is by far the most interesting and bizarre daydream I've ever heard of. You have an interest in dogs licking people. That's definitely a new one. Furthermore, I seem to share your tendency to form obsessive attachments to people, to the point where I will daydream about them for over a year at a time. I don't have the same yearning for them in real life though- this stuff is all in my head.
Name: Kasia
Country: Poland
Comment:
I have been a daydreamer since age 5, I'm 19 now. I thought I was the craziest person in Poland, I daydream constantly. Not about my future, or being popular like most of you. Sometimes not about me at all. I daydream about dogs licking people, usually one person I like alot. Usually I get attatched to a person for one to three years, and i daydream about them constantly. I can't help it sometimes, it is subconscious. I've found that the only things that help my daydreams are socializing with other people and doing math. It doesn't seem to affect my studies at school, but sometimes it causes social problems. I was wondering if anyone else shared my daydream interest in dogs licking people. It's weird, but all daydreams are weird.
Name: dreamer
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
What strikes me is, how many people there are on this website who thought they were on their own. I came across this page by accident - I thought I was the craziest person on earth but apparently there are others as crazy as I am. Which makes me wonder if we are not as crazy as we all think. I think there are different levels of day dreaming - in trying to stop I can find that the constant checking of my thoughts more exhausting than the original problem. So I think it is about trying to remain flexible in my head - let myself have some space to lose touch with reality, as long as I can control it enough to pay attention to what is around me when I need to. dreamsunlimited - you say that life is really beautiful, but I am not so sure about that. Sure, there are beautiful bits to it, but lots of it is dull, frustrating, depressing or a bit nondescript. So in those moments, maybe being somewhere else or someone else can be a releif. But I do know that it is possible for it all to get out of hand. How about practicing meditiation? Might work for some people. It is certainly worth trying to bring the mind to some sort of stillness, some sort of control. Regular yoga helps me - a bit of physical excercise has a really positive effect on the mind. For me - it is just a case of not letting the day dreaming get to solid a hold on me. In the past there have been times when I have disappeared into the dreams so completely that I have begun to lose the life around me. I know how dangerous it can be. But I also know that being really hard on myself doesn't work either. No one is perfect, everyone is a bit crazy in one way or another. Go easy.
Name: dreamsunlimited
Country: India
Comment:
hi everybody, glad to know that I have a company in the real world. All the while I was under the assumption that I am the craziest human on the earth. I never realized that day dreaming had been a major problem in my life. I can tell you all that my family was good and huge. I dont know what went wrong during my formative years this has become a compulsive habit for me. I royally mucked up my life with my excessive day dreaming. So much so that my behaviour reflected sociopathic tendencies. I had an answer for all the problems in my fantasy world where I am the all powerful smart person for whom the world is waiting for. I really do not know how to be normal. I have become emotionally bankrupt. I've lost touch with the reality. People think I am dense. Now I am determined to make my day dreams a reality. I've always been a warrior in my dreams fighting for the downtrodden. Now that I've realized what is pulling me back in life is my daydreaming. I'm going to uplift and save myself before I become insane! That's an excerpt from daydreaming while typing my comment! But I want come out of it. I want to live life normally. Get in touch with reality. I would appreciate practical advice. Life is really beautiful. I want to reclaim my life.
Name: Mhimhie
Country: Philippines
Comment:
Daydreaming makes me unrealistic and lazy.
Name: lostjohnny
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Does anyone want to be in a group to help you QUIT daydreaming so much? I'll start one on yahoo...and I mean..not normal daydreaming..daydreaming to the point where it's stealing your life....Ill check back
Name: annie lisa
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
This forum has helped me so much. I am lucky I found it. I was sick of this habit and googled daydreaming forum and here were all these people who know what it's like to have this problem. I've been so ashamed of my daydreaming habit. It has cost me so much time and productivity. I remember it beginning in High School. I agree it has to do with ego, of needing attention. And I think it has to do with lonliness. And now thru these posts I've faced that it has to do with boredom. I don't consider myself a lazy thinker - that I don't let myself get bored - but now I see that I am bored. It's been helpful to face that. Sometimes after I've had a great time socializing I find myself daydreaming about being the center of attention in a social situation, which baffles me because I wasn't lonely or bored in this situation. Does this sound familiar to anyone? Anyway, I printed out the post and have referred to it, but mostly just being able to "connect" to others that have this problem, somehow that alleviated the problem. But, as one post said, I admit I have this problem and it's a day to day thing. I hope others can receive help here as I have.
Name: Matt
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
The time for change is Now.
Name: MzG
Country: New Zealand
Comment:
i have been day dreaming for 4 years now. it started about 2 weeks before i got my first period and now i cant stop. iv never had any social problems since i started daydreaimg althoguh it affects me in school if my mind wanders. every morning i wake up, plug my headphones into my ears and pace in an anti clockwise circle, thinking about things that could happen in the future. i feel that thinking like this gives me power which i dont have in real life... thank god im not the only one. i always thoguht that this was a mental illness but now i know that im not alone
Name: ray
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I am a 39yr old male who suffers from this "addiction". I have never spoken about this problem to any one even my family. I dare say that this addiction has absloutely ruined my life and has kept me from leading a normal life.
Name: Gala
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I was a daydreamer for many years till I realised that it was taking me away from reality and I just stopped. I did not want it any more. I feel that the solution is in chanelling the dreams into reality, e.i. either make them happen (if they are realistic dreams) or do creative work such as writing, painting, making theatre productions, etc. Daydream, but don't stop there, make something tangible out of it.
Name: dreamer
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
Repetitive motion - yes. Rocking though, not pacing. With headphones on. I lead kind of a normal life - I appear normal to others, but have periods of working from home, and if the work is dull, then I can lose myself. I call it 'taking a head holiday' and I know that it has held me back. I have never spoken to anyone of it. Even writing about it here seems like a break through for me. Sometimes I feel like I am splitting away from the real world, and it becomes hard to drag myself back. Started when I was a young teenager - I spent a lot of time alone and needed the company that a day dream can provide. Sometimes I leave social situations early in order to get back into my own head. I love it and hate it at the same time. It can provide a comfort for me, but also a way out of reality. No cure, i reckon but to stop.
Name: Q
Country: Pakistan
Comment:
i have been a day dreamer for as long as i can remember. its my escape from the real world, it is my easy option to hide from reality, and responsibility as well as escape from failure. i have been a under achiever all my life and always give in to things easily , because i know i can make up for it in my day dream. i just cannot break the shakles of this constant curse....the loser menatlity is rooted so deeply in my mind i cannot even muster enough couraage to fight it. the levelss of stress i sometimes suuffer from are also very high. my daydreams are a disease. i need a cure,
Name: jc
Country: Germany
Comment:
I found an article on Scientific American that describes daydreaming as a natural state of the brain. That basically we are preprogrammed to multitask and use our brain creatively, especially when we are involved in a very boring routine task. The title is: "Escape from the insipid: Our Brains May be Wired for Daydreaming" in the Science News section. Dated 18th January 2007 Of course, those who feel uncomfortable with it, will still need to find a way of dealing with it or controlling it. But it makes sense that it is a natural coping mechanism for stress or boredom. Might help those who feel guilty about daydreaming. I will check back here if I find more.
Name: jc
Country: Germany
Comment:
Hello everyone, I am a 38 year old woman and have been an excessive daydreamer as long as I can remember. I am a single child and my parents used to argue a lot. My mother also used to beat, but only when my dad was not around. I certainly used the dream world to escape, but also as an outlet for my creativity. I was always a top student and graduated with an M.Sc. first class. I always had a very large circle of friends and never had the impression that the excessive daydreaming stopped me from achieving anything. It was always more like a hobby, my own private moviehouse with very detailed worlds and characters. I also use positive daydreaming about work situations to help me make decisions and my visualisation skills have helped me all my life. It is just the last few months I have been wondering if I should worry about my daydreams, or if it could be harmful/crazy. But like many others have reported there doesn´t really seem to be any literature out there or a forum where we can meet up. I have spent complete free days in a comfortable chair with music just daydreaming and working on my inner stories. I still believe it is much better than watching TV. But it does take up a lot of time and is very exhausting. And sometimes I miss appointments or cancel events because my "story" has reached a critical turning point and I am trying to finish the "episode" As a child I also used to draw scenes, perhaps I should try to take drawing classes and see if I can put my fantasy world on paper. I would be very interested in taking part in a study and will try to find the Psychologist mentioned here
Name: Nick
Country: Canada
Comment:
I looked up this article as I was daydreaming because I realized that it is a mental issue. I was surprised only to find this forum but it is interesting. My daydreaming is not destructive to my life. I was introverted as a child but since then, especially in the last few years, I have been much more social and vocal. I do not believe my daydreaming is interfering with my life but by writing this article I am hoping I can make my thought process real. The trigger of my daydreaming is music and it creates a fantasy world where it seems like I am the focus. It often occurs with me doing something impossible and unrealistic, good or bad. I have found that it is a powerful processes/habit and while overall it is useless except for creativity if I could focus on ideas it would be so powerful in whatever I do. My daydreams have taught me one thing about myself. They have taught me where I want to be. I just wish I could focus them instead of them being random... One thing I know for sure too, at least if I was stranded on a desert island, at least I wouldn't be bored. :)
Name: tina
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I forgot to mention another thing...i jump up and down while dreaming..what a SHAME!
Name: tina
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I am sooooo happpppyyy to see that I am not alone in this exessive daydreaming too. It all started when i was 13....my parents were really strict with me and I wasn't allowed to go out...So what I did is imaginating me being the popular girl at school, having all the guys at my feet and partying a lot...I wasn't doing it that much until my daydreaming gotten worse since last year. Now I can't focus on anything ....I daydream while i am at work, at school even when I'm driving!!!!! and what's worse is that it had taken my love for reading away...I can't focus when i read, I pace out easily and that really hurts...On the other side my social life is really good, I don't let myself caught up on this imaginary world instead of going out...but I just cannot FOCUS and I didn't have that problem before....My daydreams stories have changed overtime now I constantly daydream having a pretty wealthy life, big house, nice cars, plenty of money!
Name: Ash
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Praise God it's not just me!!! I too day dream almost constantly, but you would never know it. Yes I"m introverted but I have adaquate social skills, I am an exellent student, and many people turn to me for advice. What they don't know is that I'm constantly playing a movie of what I want my life to be like in my head. Sometimes even while I'm talking to people. I am just now starting to deal with this head on. What I have started to do is dicsect my day dreams. When you day dream, what do they make you feel? Are you seeking love, assurance, praise, comfort, fame, what? I find that knowing the answer to that question helps me to see what I am looking for in my life. For me it is being noticed. Yes I am an introverted and get drained by people, but I want to be noticed! Almost all of my day dreams revolve around being the center of attention and highly esteemed. I"m trying to break away from day dreams and seek those needs in the real world. Pray for me as I will for you.
Name: Timothy
Country: Canada
Comment:
This is extremely frustrating. I've spent years perusing the web in search of information about "excessive daydreaming", and all I can find is one meager article by someone named Eli Somers and a parenting site from India that has become a haven for the similarly afflicted. I even keep coming back here to see if anyone has found a miracle cure or more literature. Anyway, after searching the web for all this time, I've found that the general consensus of the mental health community is that these all-encompassing fantasy worlds we have can be a result of many things, some of which are rather disturbing. First of all, daydreaming in this way is a highly effective short-term coping mechanism, and if we become overly-reliant on it as children, then as adults, we end up using it almost exclusively in lieu of better approaches to dealing with our problems. Whenever we are faced with evidence that this coping mechanism doesn't work, we can just start daydreaming again and forget about it, and so it becomes a never-ending circle in which we become further and further detached from reality. In short, we come to believe daydreaming works so well because we selectively filter out all evidence to the contrary, similar to the way faith-based fanaticism works. However, unconsciously, we know this isn't true, and this discrepancy has been expressed out of desperation here, of all places. Now for the extreme end of spectrum. In some cases, this coping mechanism is discovered and used as a mental defense against the damaging effects of personality disorders, notably the narcissistic-schizoid variety. It is on this subject that I have found the most literature concerning excessive daydreaming. It's too complex to explain here, but basically what happens is that, during early childhood development our personalities don't develop correctly in regards to social contact (empathy, self-esteem, sense of self worth, etc). When confronted with our defective and socially inept personalities, we may completely withdraw inward and create a fantasy world that fully supplements our need for social contact. In other words, our dream worlds replace our need for a social life because socializing with actual people is too awkward and painful. I'm not saying that this is the case with everybody here, but if, like me, you've spent most of your life as a loner daydreaming in a corner, you might want to consider reading up on this stuff. Many stories here appear similar- As a kid you start incorporating elements from tv shows, movies, etc into your own little private universe, and this gradually replaces your social life and impairs your ability to focus on reality. Sad to say, my story is the same, and began at age 5, continuing to my current age of 17. What is truly and remarkably sad about all this is that I have been so heavily dependent upon this dream world for the past 12 years that I have completely failed to develop social skills and a clear perception of how the world works. I have no desire to be anything or have any relationships in real life because I can do the same in my dream world. Daydreaming has created a huge snowball effect and made my true life worse and worse, to the point where leaving the dream is horrifying and unthinkable, because I will have to deal with the fact that I'm a complete failure, I have no motivation to live in the real world, and that said real world frightens and intimidates me. Stopping my daydreaming for prolonged periods is easy in terms of effort, and is often followed by a huge surge of awareness and clarity of perception. However, what always gets me back into the cycle is the fact that I enjoy it far more than real life, and that it is so easy to let my body decay and just drift off into this pathetic simulacrum of perfection. I sometimes think I can make my life better to the point where this dream is no longer needed, but I don't see any reason to bother since I find more solace in complete zombifying bliss as opposed to life's potential ups and downs. Yet this notion seems foolish since I don't know enough about real life to make that assumption. So, in short, it would seem that the best solution to the daydreaming problem would be to stop cold turkey and dose yourself with as much reality as possible. Having positive things you enjoy and people you like spending time with outside of dreaming would likely help, although I'm a bit stuck there. I really don't think it would be wise to limit unproductive daydreaming using a stopwatch or schedule or whatnot- better to stop completely. Anyhow, I hope my brief account of having my chance of developing as a normal human being completely nixxed will serve as a disincentive for you people to engage in this madness. Get out while you can- things will only get worse. The most effective type of prison is the one you want to be trapped in.
Name: a mom of a daydreamer
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I am so glad to have found this site! My son is 13 now and has always paced since he could walk. I have homeschooled him this whole time, working in breaks that has allowed him his time to pace. I have written pages and pages of his "stories" and have had him draw pictures of his characters. now he writes his own stories although writing has always been difficult for him. We talk alot about how much his daydreams distract him from learning. he has trouble taking things he learned and making connections from them to other things. I don't allow any dreaming during 'school' but he has lots of time in the late afternoon and evenings. he's asked if he should give it up... I don't think I can ask him to do that. It's out in the open now, I don't want him to hide from us. We go to a school with other homeschoolers and take some classes. He usually paces in the hallway alone without doing much interaction which breaks my heart as a mom to watch him. Kids like him, no one teases him. If he has a playdate one-on-one he does just fine ,he's funny delightful reads between the lines kind of kid. but I'm afraid for the future and the real hard thinking involved in the upper grades... I need some advice from those who know. Recently he was asked to write about his favorite place. He knew right away where that was. "My favorite place is being inside my mind. The reason that it is, is because I spend alot of time there. I think up all my ideas there. Sometimes I even have little cartoon characters in my mind, its like having a TV in my head. I'm not just sitting on the couch. I usually walk around when I think. The cool part is I can go there whenever I want, except for when I'm doing work. Sometimes when there is nothing left to do, I go there. I sometimes stay there all day long. I am able to do things without really doing things and thats ok with me because I would rather like to pretend to do things without actually doing them. And that is why my mind is my most favorite place to be."
Name: J.
Country: India
Comment:
to kitty - i used to pace too while talking outloud. i always imagined that if anyone saw me they'd think i was crazy. sometimes i'd get caught up in a daydream while i was in the middle of doing something and a few minutes into the dream i'd realize that i had been daydreaming and standing frozen in some strange position the whole time. i'd become very embarrassed with myself.
Name: Julien
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
wow, it's so comforting to see that other people have experienced something that has really disturbed me for awhile. i started daydreaming/fantasizing when i was about five, i guess because my home life was not fulfilling enough (schizophrenic mother, no friends, only brothers to play with and often excluded b/c i was a girl). it was a constant in my life until about a year ago, when i finally realized that it had become a full-blown addiction, had taken over my life, and i needed to quit. i had gotten to the point where i was spending entire days sitting alone in my room, fantasizing, and unable to tear myself away from the daydreams. if i tried to stop and focus on reality, i would suddenly feel a shock of despair and the thought "that's all there is?" would pop into my mind. within a few seconds, without even realizing it, i'd have slipped back into the fantasy and have to force myself to refocus on reality again once i realized i slipped back into the daydream. at some point i realized that the daydreams were a way for me to deal with the fact that i found everyday life - my studies, my relationships, people in general, the whole world around me - profoundly unstimulating, uninteresting, and unfulfilling. living in reality was just too easy, simple, predictable, banal, meaningless, unstimulating, dissappointing...and there was not much i could do about it. mostly, it was out of my control. but i also realized five other things: 1. that my daydreaming was only making my life more boring by causing me to become increasingly isolated and passive in my real life. 2. that, even though as i child i might not have had the ability, i now did have the ability to take at least a greater degree of control over my life and try to make it more interesting in reality. 3. that i didn't want to die knowing i had missed out on what the world had to offer because out of cowardice i chose to take refuge in a daydream, rather than confront the challenges and difficulties (and dealing with boredom is a difficult challenge) of the real world. 4. if the world was so simple and predictable, surely it couldn't be that difficult to manipulate the small portions i came in contact with, my part of the world, so that it could be more interesting and stimulating for me. 5. like in quitting any addiction, i would have to go through a painful withdrawal period during which i adjusted to living in boring, ordinary reality, but it would not last forever, and eventually i'd be glad that i quit. at this point, i'm still adjusting, but i do feel better since i quit. i feel more in control of my life and more "normal" (which has its benefits). i've learned that it is possible to find fulfillment in reality, though finding it does require the initiative to go searching and to work for it.
Name: sespe
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
My problem with excessive daydreaming began 13 years ago and has escallated each year since. I even got so bad that when I awoke from the dream I would try to go back and add additional good things to what ever I was dreaming about. I still have no control of when I lose myself in thought but it happens often. Most of the time I dream about escaping from the relationship I got in 13 years ago. Gee i've been daydreaming for 13 years and in a bad relationship for 13 years could this bad situation be the reason for my denial of reality? I think so. But even though I know my situation is bad I seem to be paralized, I can't leave. I was wondering if I stopped daydreaming about being someplace else, would I go then?
Name: daydreamer
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
i daydream alllll the time. i used to kid myself and say it wasnt a problem b/c i was always happy when i daydreamed! but i would make up situations that could actually happen and then follow through with them. it helped me a little bit b/c when something really bad happened to me i would daydream about confiding in someone and then i would actually do it but i also ended up asking someone out b/c i thought that he would do everything he did in my daydreams..he didnt!! i also daydreamed that my coach would act ok if i confided in him and told him i had been doing drugs and that i didnt want him to tell anyone but i was scared b/c i was addicted, i had daydreamed about him so much that i actually changed his personality everytime i daydreamed about him, finally i was about to tell him and fortunately i reliezed i was making a huge mistake b/c he was not an understanding guy at all i am so glad i caught myself before i told him but that wouldnt have been the first time that daydreaming got me in trouble! =[ HELPP!!
Name: Tarantulo
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I'm really courious about one thing....how many of you would describe yourselves as shy?
Name: Katikins
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Started daydreaming in grade school to escape the reality of a bad home life. Would come home from school and go to my room and live in my own little happy world in my head. I am 49 now, and still doing it. If anything stresses me or takes effort I just crawl into bed and daydream. Easier than dealing with reality. This has to be a type of mental illness. I keep going to book stores and looking up excessive daydreaming, and the only books that acknowledge it are the ADD books. I keep looking online and in books. My next trip is to a shrink. I have to overcome this! Thanks for being here everyone. It is a great comfort to know that I am not alone.
Name: amanda
Country: Australia
Comment:
I am 18 years old and have been a chronic daydreamer for about 7 years. I would say it has been destructive to my life so far, it has prevented me from establishing meaningful relationships with other people, since i would rather spend my time in the alternate world i have created for myself. My dreams are always set in the same type of scenario, with me between a bunch of guys from my uni, where im the most popular girl and they all want to be with me. It trully is pathetic, since in reality, these guys have never even spoken to me before. I really do wish i could stop this habbit, I have attempted to on a number of occasions, but I always end up reverting. I get really worried that if I have kids one day, i wouldnt be a good mother, since i fear i might spend all my time daydreaming instead of caring for them..
Name: AWAIS
Country: Pakistan
Comment:
DAYDREAMING IS A BIG PROBLEM WHERE IT HELPS YOU TO GET RID OF YOUR WORRIES AT THE SAME TIME IT ALSO TAKES YOU AWAY FROM THE REAL WORLD I HAVE FOUND IT VERY PINCHING BECAUSE IT HAS ALTERED MY ACADEMICS TO A VERY GREATER EXTEND I WAS VERY GOOD IN STUDIES TILL I FOUND MYSELF INTO THIS HABBIT OF DAYDREAMING BUT TWO DAYS AGO I CONSULTED A FREIND OF MYN HE GAVE ME A VERY GOOD PIECE OF ADVICE HE TOLD ME TO TAKE A PAGE OR A WHITE SHEET AND MAKE A BLACK FILLED CIRCLE OF ABOUT HALF INCH IN DIAMETER ON THE PAGE AND PLACE IT ON THE WALL AND STARE IT FOR ABOUT 15 MINUTES TILL EVERYTHING AROUND IT WHITENS OUT BY DOING THIS EXERCISE ONE CAN CONCENTRATE ON A SINGLE POINT OR ANY ACTIVITY AND CAN HAVE CONTROL ON THIS DAYDREAMING BUT REMEMBER THIS WHEN YOU ARE CONCENTRATING TRY ONLY TO FOCUS ON THE POINT AND NOT TO THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE SO MY TNOSE FRIENDS FOUND IT AWKWARD ITS IS VERY EFFECTIVE FOR THEN AND IT REALLY WORKS
Name: S.T..
Country: Iceland
Comment:
I have had this problem since, I think around 2004 when I was 13.For me it work this way I can focus on studies and pay attendion well enough in school and I don't feel that this has to interfere with my education. But every day I need to daydream to get me going, I take a walk everyday maybe for hours a day just listening to music to trygger the imagination, It works exactly like a drug for me. If Im not able to produce a daydreaming affect from the music, I get into a deep depression which I can not help my self out of in anyway other than if I get,new material to influence the imagination. I can't look for a material, It has to come naturally. I have to use different factors to feed the addiction fx. movies ,tv shows but music is the main factor.If I dont go out for a long walk listening to music at somepoint in the day, I start walking around in the apartment without noticing and I can't sit still in front of the tv because it triggers the imagination to much and I suddenly stand up and run out of the room without knowing why or remembering what I was thinking when i did this.. I drift out without noticing and peoble are more able to think when the walk. It's difficoult If I'm maybe at a friends house and suddenly I stand up and walk out of the room without with out noticing or being able to controle it. And sometimes I get so lost in my toughts that I forget where I am and I burst out laughing or say something outloud accidentally, this does not happen I a room filled with people or a crowded place... but rather lets say the bus or at home. when I was little I use to watch my father move his lips as if he was talking to someone in silence and I wondered if he knew he was doing this. now years later I understand what was happening, he suffers from this same thing. I inhereted this delucional thinking from him.I have nevar asked him about this, I would be to embarrased to. when I daydream I dont dream about if my life were different but a completely different reality not without problems at all. I am another person in a unrealistic life. I have lots of different people going. But there is alwyas one where the focus is. when I first started to do this I soon realized that I had become addictad and no matter how hard I tryed i couldn't stop, I have now forgotten how it is not to live like this, dependant on dreaming so I don't get in to a horribly depressed state of mind, always being disconected with the world, staying away from other people and loosing hours from my sleep.
Name: Beatrice
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I'm amazed to read all of this. I am very bothered by my constant daydreaming. I have always been successful in school and work, am basically happily married and have friends so it's not that I can't function. However, I always feel frustrated that I am not living one of these other perfect lives I have dreamed up and I definitely think I reduce intimacy with people who are really in my life by escaping into alternative worlds.
Name: mark
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
In middle and high school I had serious problems with daydreaming. Usually I would start thinking about something, like a certain book or scene from a movie I've watched and then start daydreaming about it constantly. It would often happen for example if I read an interesting fantasy or science fiction book. Soon I would sort of spend more time and mental energy focusing on a certain fantasy or daydream than say schoolwork or what was going on around me. I now realize that this kind of thing can be extremely destructive. Of course imagination can be used to think about something or solve a problem, but the difference is it's purposeful, directed thinking. When I was daydreaming it didn't help me in any way, or solve any problem, it just made me less able to focus on things more important. At the time I also was extremely depressed and did some bizarre and compulsive behavior. Things around me seemed to be surreal in a sense (probably from focusing too much on daydreaming fantasy and stuff). I just felt "weird" like something was wrong, for lack of a better term. Eventually I was taken to a psychiatrist when I was 15 and he prescribed a small dose of an anti-psychotic medication (zyprexa). I was never actually psychotic , as I know now. I knew my daydreaming wasn't real of course, and I never had any delusions or anything. I just couldn't seem to stop doing it. And the reason for this treatment wasn't mainly daydreaming. But this particular medicine completely stopped any daydreaming I did. All of a sudden, I felt "normal" for lack of a better word and I lost all interest in daydreaming or fantasy. I didn't have to force myself to stop, I just had no interest anymore. Even more, it was like I was unable to daydream or visualize things in my head, even if I wanted to. It seemed to somehow break up the addiction to daydreaming I had. I've been on other psychiatric medications, like adderall and zoloft, but only the couple of anti-psychotic type drugs made any difference on daydreaming. Now of course these drugs have major problems. I was on them for far too long, and they cause many other problems, like fatigue and weight gain. They affect your mind in many ways. They're of course powerful drugs for things like schizophrenia (although in higher dosages probably), which is presumably why they would stop daydreaming and force you to stay focused in the real world. However just as someone who has struggled with this problem, not as a mental health professional or anything, it seems that if you have a very bad daydreaming problem and can't stop no matter what, as a last resort if you take even a small dose of this type of medication, for a short period of time, I guess will start again, but at least it will break up the current addiction and let you step back and make an effort to solve the problem. I'm not recommending seeing a psychiatrist or asking to try an anti-psychotic drug, and I don't know if it would work for everyone. Just sharing something that seemed to stop daydreaming for me.
Name: Holly
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Mary, I too daydream about completely unrealistic fantasies. I'm so embarrassed about this. I'm a professional and have plenty of friends. If any of my friends knew how weird I was I swear I would just pick up and move to a different state. I am so ashamed of this. I mean, I have actually laid around for HOURS cooking up some better life for myself. I have cancelled my plans because I have been so caught up in these fantasies. I would REALLY be interested in participating in a study if it meant there could be some findings as to why this happens or how to help it. I'm just too scared to actually TALK to someone about it. I'm afraid the only way I would do it is if I could print up questions and actually mail them in through the post office. I couldn't bear to meet with someone face to face about this. How embarrassing!
Name: mary
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I've been daydreaming for about 4 yrs that i can remember. Im in highschool so my daydreams consist soley of me being the most popular person in school, or the sports star. They're always extremely unrealistic, and they usually occur while listeing to music. The music seems to trigger them. The only advice i have seen, is to become extremely acctive. Yet i cant even get to that point because i get so distraced. I can spend up to six hours a day living in my face world. Luckily it usually happens while im in my room, alone. But still i have so much work i should be doing. HELPPPPPPPPPPP
Name: ikz
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
hi people i have similar probelms as john from Indonesia and aslo sid .my problem is that i can only concentrate 4 a few minutes den i drift of into the dream world it is really hard 4 me to control day dreaming its effecting my educations and my life for example i just had a driving lessons and i almost crasshed because i started day dreaming if any1 could give me some good advice on how to control my day dreaming and my concentration i would be grateful erm
Name: john
Country: Indonesia
Comment:
A few months back after reading this web site, I was motivated to stop daydreaming (after ~30 years) and it is working. I just want to write back to say it can be done & to encourage others. Maybe my motivation is my ego. I am a highly movtivated individual who doesn't like to be in 2nd place and maybe I finally realize this seemingly harmless addiction is holding me back from next level of success. I win all the time thru out my life whiling living with this addiction, so why can't I beat people at this? I shouldn't belong here. Whatever the reasons/motivations are, it is working for me & I hope they stay. But realizing I am an addict, I am always vigilant so I dont relapse. I also try to keep myself very busy with work & my favorite hobbies, like remodeling houses, cars, investing, drawing comics, etc... I hate to have relaxing days because those days are the most dangerous, so I normally try to keep busy on those days too. I almost had a relapse last week due to vacation but I had fought it off. I wish you the best of luck in your search for a cure.
Name: Old Daydreamer
Country: Bangladesh
Comment:
I had been a daydreamer since I can remember. I am 54 now and I think its in my brain chemistry, no way out. About ten years back, I took medication (Zoloft) for mild depression. That helped a lot to get rid of copulsive day dreaming for a while, but it came back soon. I think my 20 years old son has the same problem.
Name: Reece
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
This website was such an eye opener and I'm both glad to see that I'm not the only one with this problem, but also upset to know that it is truly a condition that can become disastrous. As a student in highschool, daydreaming has been affecting my studies more than it ever has before. I can't pay attention in class like I used to before, and it shows in my grades. I've been an honor student my whole life, and i've finally reached a point where my daydreaming is the cause of the big fat "F" i received on my progress report. I agree with Suzanne when she states that we need to help ourselves. Could insecurity be a commonality of excessive daydreamers?
Name: Suzanne
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I hate to keep sounding the same note. ( I have written a few entries before) But the truth is everyone keeps asking for help. And there is no (or very little) professional help out there. The fact that we all had to turn to a parenting site from india to find people like ourselves says it all. If we want help, it looks like we need to help ourselves. We need to find out what is the same about all of us psychologically, what helps keep daydreaming at bay and what makes it worse. (as well as many other things) I have therefore enlisted the only psychologist I could find who has done some work with daydreaming and emailed him the site. He is interested in doing a small research study, but would need to interview some of us. If you are intersted in participating, please look him up on the web and send him an email. His name is Eli Somer (unfortunately, you cant post email addressed on this site) Everyone's names would be kept confidential. His criteria is simply that you have developed some type of inner fantasy daydreaming world, and that you spend significant time in it, more days than not. Maybe we could help not only ourselves but the many more people out there who havent found this site yet.
Name: Emma
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
okay guys.....do you think we need to be more involved and interested in our lives? Can anyone suggest a way to tackle this? Day by Day? Hour by hour?????
Name: flick
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I can't believe i'm not the only one. Anyway You know daydreaming can be so addictive i try to stop but i do it for hours everyday and can't help it. When i say to myself i am going to stop as it ruins my life i cast my mind back to the times i have been sad and who or what was their for me and it was nothing apart from my dreams so i feel guilty about it. If i could stop doing it i would i skip going out with friends and i try and miss days off college to dream all day it takes over it's like an alcohol or cigerette addiction. My mom tried to stop me doing it when i was four years old but i kept doing it secretly and now i'm eighteen years old. I wish their was help available.
Name: Tarantulo
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
Hi all Im 27 now and I've been excessivly daydreming since I was 12. I have taught myself a rules that helps me bring my mind back to reality. It could help you a lot but you have to be willing to change your behaviour. Main thing that you'll have to learn is to focus. Everytime you find your mind wandering around (for no important reason) try to ignore your dreams and instead focus on your task or if youre talking to somebody, try to pay full attention on what other person is saying. Think of your body language,eye contacts and your response to the other speaker. Concentrating fully on what others are saying makes us more intelligent with more opinions to give as a feedback to the topic.Its also important to train your mind not to wander around even when youre alone.In fact, its a great starting point! Think of a daydreaming as an old habit which you want to replace with new, better, more useful one. Make a comparision so you can prove it to yourself. Take a pen & piece of paper and write down your current state, like; why do I daydream,how does it affect my life? If I woudnt daydream, what my life would look like? What stops me from being unable to get rid off this habit? Important, be very honest to yourself! Now write again your alternative views on daydreaming, like; How my life would be without it? Would it get more better? Why? Youll probably find your fear of not being stop to daydream to be rather riddicilous with no apparent reason to carry on doing it. See if alternatives you wrote down are better option.If not,try to go even depper inside your being. Once you find your answer, you have to give it a testdrive.If experiment succed, than youll have to pursue your new rule to dispose old one and then make it a everyday, shiny, beutiful habit. :) Its difficult, I know(i definittely do know!) but realise that your the only one whos able to change your own beliefs and habits. Good luck
Name: Suzanne
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
RESEARCH STUDY ON DAYDREAMING I have also struggled with daydreaming and this site allowed me to see I wasnt alone. However, I think it is unfortunate that there is little professional help or literature on this subject. I therefore sent this link to Prof. Eli Somer, PHD, who has written the only professional material I was able to find on daydreaming. He found the site most interesting, and would like to do a research study. Essentially, he would like to talk to individuals who have developed inner worlds of fantasy and tend to spend significant amount of time daydreaming more days than not. If you are interested in participating in the study, please email him. Because this site doesnt allow me to post emails or websites, simply type his name "Eli Somer" in whichever search engine you use, and you should find a page of his material, with a contact email address. Maybe we can find some answers, or at least get professionals discussing the topic. Thanks Suzanne
Name: Jill
Country: India
Comment:
Please ignore just a test to see if posting still works
Name: Daydream Support Group
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I think people should differentiate between positive daydreaming and negative daydreaming. I think positive "realistic" daydreaming where you dream about your next promotion, a better car an improved life can be beneficial, however, just dreaming about being a superhero or marrying a supermodel and doing this consistently can have a negative effect on your life as you tend to detach from reality.
Name: Kate
Country: Australia
Comment:
I cant believe their are so mani others. i cant remember when my daydreaming started..i think i was about 5 or around that age. but i am also confused as to how i developed this. i know most people are saying it removes a person from a traumatic event. but i admit my family isnt perfect..but they are way way better than mani families i know. i also suffer from selective memory...in which i cant remember 2 years of my life..only particular parts which dont really help me in finidng out why i forgot in the first place. does anyone have any idea of how it can eb caused..cos i cant remember of any event that could have triggered it good luck to all
Name: Helen
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I'm now 49 and have fought daydreaming since 16. been the route of shrinks and meds, no success. I realize it is a sinwith ingredients of sloth, self-love, lust, unbelief etc. It's ruined my career, marriage, etc. Fight it with prayer to Jesus Christ. He has had me free when I completely depend on Him. If I tell myself a little won't hurt, I'm back off the cliff into the addiction. Fight it. I must keep fighting this sin or I realize may go completely catonically mad,
Name: Holly
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I daydream a lot! I'm so glad there are others. I was looking up schizophrenia, but that can't be it because I know it's not real, whereas schizophrenics actually hallucinate. I also looked up schizoid behavior disorder, but that says you'd be a loner and have no close friends. I daydream (sometimes for hours, missing appointments, cancelling plans)and I just can't imagine that this is good for me. It just feels better than dealing with my life. I've done this (in private, never at school or in public) since I was in the 2nd grade. I also pace with music on, I do this all the time. I feel sort of crazy, but this forum is the only thing I found that discusses what I have. I am a successful individual that daydreams in private. There you have it. As far as kids tapping their pencil and being easily distracted, I would think that is ADHD or ADD. That would be inability to focus and not getting lost in some make-believe world that comforts them. If your child is doing this, I suggest preferential seating in the classroom (where they cannot see most of the other classmates in the corner of their eyes), a visual timer that allows them to set goals for the amount of time they will spend on an assignment, and for ADHD, perhaps a large "rubber band" that wraps around the front legs of the chair so the child can release energy without disturbing the rest of the class. These are just a few suggestions, but there are many different ways to handle ADHD and ADD in the classroom. In some cases, I have seen students change into a normal, attentive child after going on medication. I do firmly believe that there is a HUGE difference between excessive daydreaming to escape reality and ADHD/ADD.
Name: good articke
Country: India
Comment:
i am 18 years old and i am day dreaming from past 4 yars i dream very bad sme thingblood and snake and finally get very upset for dreaming. this has distracted my studies and life I have no social life cant get alowith friends and het carried away by this dirty unplesantdreamscanyoupl help me I thought thisis demonicand gotprayedby pastors and started selfseeking jesus there was lot ofimprovementoccured for the good. but whenever i get study stress it happens to me cos i an studying very tough courseplhelp meanyone
Name: Annette
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
MY 8 year old daughter totaly matches thw profile of a day dreamer. She always space out and worries on he thoughts, it's getting to the point that it's interffering with her grades and all she does is study. If you can help me in any way please we need it
Name: tankgirl
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I too am an excessive daydreamer! My family used to tell me that I had a problem because I used daydreaming as a replacement for maintaning a steady job, as well as a social life. I used to pace back and forth in my room with my headphones on blaring the music, and imagined myself as a singer, or going to a night club and meeting an attractive person, having the most terrific body, so on, and so on. Well, as time progressed, I have found a job that I enjoy, I have remarried, have children, so I have a lot of distractions in my life that I did not have before. I don't excessively daydream anymore, but I still cannot concentrate for no more than a few seconds, but you know what? Most of my daydreams are productive, happy REALISTIC daydreams that occur when I bathe, walk to the store, drive, while watching a movie, while I eat etc. My therapist says that these types of "daydreams" are largely automatic and and are necessary because they can serve as reminders, fuel creativity, and bring about happy memories! For those who feel overwhelmed, take comfort that there it has been known that people who daydream more than usual are not "crazy", or disabled in any way, but in fact are sometimes even better off than those who don't do it as much because we can "see" things in a much greater perspective. Another thing that helps me is that when my mind wanders off,(as it constantly does!) I merely recognize the distractive thought, or image, and either change it, or REDIRECT my focus to whatever it is I am doing. Don't make your anxieties stronger by fearing the fact that you daydream, recognize it, and change your focus. You make everything worse by paying too much attention to it. Once you don't give it that much consideration, your mind becomes more relaxed and does not wander as much. All it takes is practice, and I hope this helps! God bless to all!
Name: anki
Country: India
Comment:
can u recommend a counsellor or a psychiatrist may as well a clinical psychologist {any mental health specialist}who can help me to a way out of my unreal self which has overwhelmed & trampled my identity.the devil- day dreaming. though it has pushed me to graves of my youth, i am determined to be a survivor & revitalise myself ,my soul.i live in delhi.
Name: anki
Country: India
Comment:
can u recommend a counsellor or a psychiatrist may as well a clinical psychologist {any mental health specialist}who can help me to a way out of my unreal self which has overwhelmed & trampled my identity.the devil- day dreaming. though it has pushed me to graves of my youth, i am determined to be a survivor & revitalise myself ,my soul.
Name: lorraine
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
we are maladaptive daydreamers who use daydreaming as a way of coping with the real life. we can get over excited with our thoughts because we can become who ever we went in our minds which can lead to obsessive thinking. We all need to tell our health professionals if we are to bring this issue more in to the open, and to get the help needed if theirs any. Pus to find out what mental health diagnoses it would come under.
Name: chelsea
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
john, this mighta actually worked, cuz i was fine and occupied yesterday, but then my mom got really mad cuz i was up at 2 in the morning finishing my homework. Now we're "done" and aren't talking. I don't know how to cope with problems and stress in any other way than to daydream, which i did all last night while i was crying. I kept telling myself that i had another life and just slipped into it, totally forgetting our arguement and that made me feel better. At the moment, i don't have anyone i talk to on a daily basis to complain about this to, as the friends i see everyday don't seem to care and i can't talk to my best friend every day. *sniff sniff* so...how have you been dealing with problems if you can't imagine a world where everything's perfect? (I can't just go talk to her cuz when we're "done" we're like finished. One time we didn't talk for a year and we only started again cuz i was graduating from middle school.) But! I must thank you for being here and responding everyday, which i really didn't expect you to do (and don't feel obligated to do that...you should be out there enjoying life now that you're free of daydreams.) This has given me something to do at lunchtime though cuz i really don't wanna go hang out with my "friends" right now and if i wansn't doing this...i'd probably just daydream.
Name: john
Country: Indonesia
Comment:
chelsea You are still very young, so if you can fight it and stop it, you will prove you are a lot stronger than me. I wish you the best of luck!!! May you be rid of this addiction and lead a successful life! I been fighting this addiction for like 30+ years. Like I say, even though I look "seemingly" succesfully(good grades & career, great wife & kids), I think I basically ruined my life because of this. I wish when I was younger that someone older that have went thru this and understand it would advise me, but I didn't so I thought this daydreaming thing is ok, especailly when I am doing good. But the addiction seems to get worse and worse as times goes and I been thru hell many many times. We in a way are very similar, I used to get up at 4am to do homework/study tests. I use to dream I would have great friends/girl friends' I would pretend I am sick for many days just so I can stay in bed and day dream. i go sleep early and get up late, etc... But reading about your and others here really inspired me to do something about this. I realized this daydreaming is NOT ok, and I can't go on fighting between living in the dream world and the real world. I am in a way "blessed" in real life, so this makes it a little easier for me to fight. you and others gave me the courage and motivation. I wish you the same. Good Luck!
Name: Chelsea
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I'm trying...i'm really trying and it might be working a little bit. Now I'm basically being forced to not daydream until I have to sleep though, cuz my mom found out how I sleep right after I get home from school and stay up all night to do my homework and got pretty mad. So yeah... - John...how exactly did you give this up so easily though? It sounds like you just one day said "no more!" and that was it. I did that before when I was like 8 but grr! It doesn't work that way for me! I feel like I need this extra life, especially to have the friends I want to have. My friends in real life keep mocking me and keep telling me everything I'm doing is "so adorable!", which is getting really annoying and bad. So in my fantasy, my best friends are totally understanding and sensitive and it's just nice to go back to that whenever I want. But, you did disprove my little theory-ish thing. I thought it would be a lot harder for someone who'd made up a whole alternate life for themselves to give it up, but you have and gave it up pretty easily. But I think that was just my excuse for not really trying. So! Thank you! You've inspired me to try!!
Name: john
Country: Indonesia
Comment:
chelsea I mostly make up fantastic, perfect worlds. And I am always some kind of hero whose potential has not yet been reached (so I can keep dreaming how to realize those potentials). The worlds are very highly highly detailed and sometimes I have to write them down on paper and refer to them so I won't forget the details! I would spend any free time I have refining the details, so I am not a very good driver at all. The daydreams have elements of TV shows like stargate SGI, twightlight zone, and sliders. I always have meant to translate all these day daydreams into a comic series but that maybe just a dream ...or my rational to keep daydreaming .. But back to reality ... my advice to you also is to try not to live in this daydreaming world, it is easier to get away with it when you're young, but when you get older and have more responsibilities it is really really hard, believe me. I have to fight so hard to be perfect in the real world while living in the fantasy world. I dont even know many times I am so frustrated and suicidal because I have to maintain these 2 worlds. So, because I fight and have always done well in school and career, no one ever suspects me of having this problem! If I tell people, they probably won't even believe me, but if they only KNOW. I also think because of this daydreaming problem I am not where I should be. I feel like I could have done so much more in life so starting from now, I will try to do that for rest of my life instead of let it pass by casually. Maybe when I am 80+ and I can't do much anymore, I will pick up this addiction again .. I am just glad I am not alone and reading all you guys's mail gives me hope and courage to fight on.
Name: Chelsea
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
John!!! I'm so so so proud of you! I can't imagine going through a day without daydreaming, let alone a week. And the lucid dreaming thing...good job!! I daydream before i sleep, but it never carries over into my actual dreams. Just out of curiosity though, (don't tell me if it's personal) what do you guyz daydream about? Do you reflect on your real life and think about what you did, or have you made up another world where everything's perfect (like I have). Just wondering...
Name: john
Country: Indonesia
Comment:
Refering to Chelsea's mail on lucid dreaming - I daydream so much that it is easy for me to do this - I am able to extend my day dreams into my sleeping hrs and I have done it many times. But this is very energy draining because I have to really daydream HARD in the waking hrs and I will be very tired the next day. When I was younger, I didn't feel that much of an effect with energy. I was always top of my class, even in college. But I had to fight much harder to stay on top as time progresses. Anyway, after reading all your posts I have decided to acknowledge this indeed is a big problem and I have decided to make an example and just simply STOP it. I have stopped all my day dreaming for 1 week now and it is really really great!!! My energy and my life is coming back. I feel like I accomplished 2x as much. All the subtle things in life which I have never pay attention to seems more clear/focused. I will keep fighting and will post my progress as time goes. But this is an really an addiction and I have to be very careful not to go back. Any external stimulus (interesting tv show, song, book, etc...) could easily pushes me to day dream again. Wish me luck!
Name: Chelsea
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Thank God this site is here! I thought I was the only one!! I've been extremely addicted and obsessed with daydreaming since I was 5. I'm 15 now, and if anything, my problem has only gotten worse. I spend hours in bed just imagining this alternate life I've created. And this life isn't even my own! I've actually created multiple lives of different made-up people who I'd like to be, whose stories I build up everytime I daydream. In the life I usually dream of, I'm a 16 year old girl singing in a band with three guys, all of which have names, special personalities and one just happens to be my boyfriend - in my dream. I incorporate music into this particular made-up life and imagine this group singing the song I'm listening to and even incorporate the stories of some songs (and movies and tv shows too) into the lives of these imaginary people. This problem has never really interfered with my real life until just recently. I've always been an honors student and this year, I'm taking almost all advanced classes (except choir (cuz I'm scared of singing by myself in front of a lot of people) and spanish (porque no hablo espanol muy buena)). But, whenever I have homework to do...instead of getting right to that, as I would have done before, I go to my room and daydream for a couple hours. But I also daydream while I actually start doing the work, while I'm at school, on the car ride to school... And now I walk home from school and that just gives me another half hour to get lost in my imaginary lives. Weekends are my favorites cuz I can just spend hours in my room daydreaming. But I want my life back! - or at least look for a way to lessen the time I this about these alternate lives. I'm experimenting with lucid dreaming, maybe you guyz should try. If you don't already know, lucid dreaming is where you control your dreams (like the ones where you're actually asleep) to where you can transform yourself into anyone and do anything..like fly and stuff. Basically it's like daydreaming...but you're asleep so it's not really wasting your awake time. Only thing is, you need to train yourself to do it (although some people (the extremely lucky duckies) can do it naturally). I've only had a couple and I've been trying for a couple months, but it's actually really cool when you have one. I don't know though...I'm gonna keep trying with this, but if anyone has any other ideas, I'm open to suggestions!!
Name: john
Country: Indonesia
Comment:
I started daydreaming when I was 5 to escape hard family life. In my day dreams, I am able to conceive very fanstatic worlds and that I am always the hero. I am now 45, I am pretty successful in my career & family but I have always struggled HARD my whole life against this addiction and I have not been able to win. Sometimes (especially during stressful times), my addiction would get so out of hand I would be in bed for weeks day dreaming. it is almost like some mental episodes that creeps up for me. And the brain power used to conveive these fantastic worlds are so much that I am really tired all the time. Sometimes, I would wish I am in jail or in hospital (so I can ignore the everyday mundane tasks) just so I have time to day dream. This is truly a disease and I wish there are some ways to fight it. Any advice/help would be great!
Name: Nygger
Country: Niger
Comment:
rising from the grave rising... in pain. i want to eat your brain were rising from the grave !
Name: Ruthy
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Hello Naziem, I would recommend your 5 year old child not to watch a lot of television. No more than 3 hours a day, because it causes children to have lack of attention, especially in class.
Name: Susan
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I too have had a daydreaming issue for years. It has not affected my success or professional life, because I refuse to let it. However, any free non working moment is fair game, and I believe it has had a huge negative effect on relationships and my personal life. As someone else mentioned on this site, pacing was very much a part of my daydreaming ritual as a child. I have since grown out of the ritualistic pacing motions but the daydreaming stayed. However, I still find it much easier to daydream when in motion, walking in a car, etc. My last comment is that I think its sad (although a hopeful positive development ) that we have had to reach out on an obscure website with no professional help to find someone like ourselves. Why is this not mentioned in the DSM IV (american psychological manual)? Or any other psychological literature? I have shown this site to my psychiatrist who finds it very interesting. Previously he diagnosed the daydreaming as part of obsessive compulsive disorder, but I never really saw myself in that disorder..Primarily because people with OCD hate their disorder whereas I like daydreaming and see it more as an addiction. Large doses of OCD medicine has calmed the daydreaming down, but not stopped it completely. Then we thought it could be part of ADHD..daydreaming is one symptom of ADD, but I dont have any of the other symptoms. My psychiatrist has expressed an interest in researching the subject, and I will encourage him to do so. In the mean time, it means an awful lot to know I am not alone. Sue
Name: Peter C
Country: Australia
Comment:
i have a caring,loving christian family have many supported friends. i enjoy my job. Yet i cannot stop from the compulsion to daydream. Sometimes i feel its overtaking my life. I wish i knew what to do.
Name: lorraine
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
thanks for your reply J, Ive found another discription for daydreaming that is a medical term and its called maladaptive daydreaming you can look it up on the internet.I told my psychiatrist, that this was what I was suffering from because I also told my cpn nurses and she wasnt too interested so I got rid of her.but as Ive got bpd maybe I should look at it as an dissociative disorder but I would like to really know what is the difference between the two. also if their is any medication to reduce it.
Name: J
Country: Australia
Comment:
I day dream a lot too and was also wondering why it is not included as a mental illness as it certainly meets all the critera: there is clinical impariement in our occupationl, social and other important areas of function, we engage in it excessivly. I think maybe daydreaming can be linked to dissociative identity disorder, becuase daydreaming is really about creating another idenity.
Name: lorraine
Country: united kingdom
Comment:
I can not understand why there is no web site by professionals that could help people like us. I thought I was the only person like this, also if I daydream too much my brain gets really tired and my head really hurts. I can not study as my brain is over taxed and I think that daydreaming too much as made me always hear music in my head when my mind gets too tired, this should be seen as a serious illness by mental health professionals and discussed openly by experts and be made open to the public
Name: div
Country: india
Comment:
yeah i am suffering since 5 yrs. but find that i have been able to control it forshort time san of 1 or 2 days by exercising will power. please help!
Name: Sera
Country: pakistan
Comment:
I live all day in dreamworld. I have created my own country where im a princess. I am so much addicted that its literally affecting my relation with the real world. I day dream every single minute of the day....I cant study.. my times wasted in daydreams...plzzzzzzzzzz help me find some solution
Name: Sammy
Country: usa
Comment:
I am so glad I found this page. I always thought I was crazy, but I guess I'm not alone with this problem. For about 90% of my day I live in a dream world, and while I love that world it is destroying my chances at being successful in the real world. I sometimes would like to make it stop, but I am afraid of who I would be without my other world.
Name: Quinn
Country: usa
Comment:
Do young people start daydreaming because their parents simply do not encourage them in good things? Is daydreaming the result of a lack of confidence? I believe it is. Many of the young people mention angry relatives/parents that do not encourage them in good things or even pay much attention to them at all. Young people,I want you to listen (from someone who went thru it) stop waiting for compliements/approval your parents! I'm not saying don't obey them. Don't expect them to give something that they don't possess. Its upon you to grow up now. stop hoping for compliments/approval. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET THEM! You daydream to escape to a world where you are important. When your parents ask you to do something, do it promptly as best you can. Don't hope for compliments. When you are around them, stay silent. When possible, answer only yes or no. If you can't answer only yes or no, use as few words as possible. Try to think of things that you can do.
Name: will
Country: zimbabwe
Comment:
I am a supposed university graduate, but i have not been able to achieve anything because of day dreaming. i am 23 and have been day dreaming since i was seven or earlier. i can go a whole year not really existing in this world. the problem is that the line between day dreaming and thought has become so blurred, and when i think my mind fires in random directions which always end up as day dreams of the line,"what if...". my last year at university i daydreamed the whole year, did not study or go to class. I did not even open my notes until the day before the exam. not because i am clever but because i think i can study and be prepared in that one night. which is pure fantasy, but i can no longer distinguish fantasy and real thoughts. this is my problem. i day dream all the time, without thinking about it. i need help.
Name: Ruby
Country: australia
Comment:
And i thought I was the only one that went through all this day dreaming crap! When i was young i always played my favourite shows in my head, like wat would happened next, a different plot for the damsel in distress etc then when i got to highschool i wasn't allowed to go out at all! To this day, i'm 17 and i don't know quite wen my day dreaming addiction started but i think wen i experienced some really stressful turning points in my younger teen years i think the whole move making thing went to a deeper more personal level. I believe that "good" daydreaming is healthy for you, but to the extent where it occupies your time, wasting valuable study time is just plain bad and waste of time. SO i'm having quite a challenge maintaining my daydreaming levels but finding a site that had ppl who i can actually relate to, understand and take advice from was really helpful and reassuring that i will overcome this "bad habit" (have been trying to break it for the last 6 years?) so yeah! ( by the way, if you ever meet me i come accross the most normal sane person and you'd be totally shocked i had such a problem!)
Name: Martie
Country: usa
Comment:
once, while daydreaming i almost drove my car off of the road. I always have fun daydreaming though. I like that kind of world where things go your way, but I find myself blocking out the whole world. Does this mean that I'm afraid to live in the real world? I hope things get better
Name: kitty
Country: usa
Comment:
Please help!! i have ben trying to quit day dreaming for the last year and i always manage for a while but then give up because i need the release of losing myself somewhere safe and where i matter. i pace while i daydream, up and down, i have pain in my knee from 8 years or doing this and know it is causing lasting damage!!! i read about people day dreaming and wouldn't mind if it were just that, but the physical actions i take with it appear unusual. does anyone else pace or have some repetitive action they do whilst day dreaming, i feel as if im alone in doing this and really need advise or help
Name: Jami
Country: usa
Comment:
I have to say I tend to agree a bit with the article. I started day dreaming when I was 15, the year I lost three grand parents, and no one noticed. I started going to bed 4 hour early just so I could day dream, I with drew from normal life and completely lived in my day dreams. I always dreamed about living in another world, like Star Trek or Harry Potter or just a better life were I was important. Day dreaming definitely is an addiction, one I've had for 6 years now on and off. The thing about my day dreams are that they never turn out well, I'm never good enough, people die, I do the wrong thing. It seems like the moment I try to have a happy ending I can't let myself because I know in the real world people don't get thier happy endings. So reality still has some meaning in my day dreams which I think makes it even worse. There have been times when reality comes crashing in, but I can always forget about it. Because really, there is no harm in day dreaming for me anymore. I have As in all my college classes, I have a good friend, I still talk to people in my classes, I read books, interact with my family etc. Maybe daydreaming can ruin one's life if they forget what is reality and what's in their mind, but as long as one can tell the difference it's nice to be able to escape from real world for a while.
Name: Jared
Country: usa
Comment:
I am a chronic daydreamer but I think if it more as meditation. An inner universe to escape to is not such a horrible thing. It is a natural defense for many people. I also am studying hypnosis in college and it involves using daydreaming as a means to convince yourself to think the way you want to. Music is also a great tool in daydreaming. Each song becomes a piece of the past and a way to refeel the great times again. It can also be negatived though. Often I find myself looking at every consequence of a certain situation and spending time analyzing every word spoken to me. I view the world as a movier and before i act i play every role possible to predict the outcomes. This can save me from the worse but also can force me to see the brute reality more often making me day dream more to deal with it. In conclusion I getter done and embrace the waves of imagination and a different take on the concrete in front of you.
Name: Freya
Country: india
Comment:
Why can't we enter line spaces and write several paragraphs in this forum? It all gets chunked up the moment it is posted. It's pretty irritating or rather, repelling.
Name: Chaosbutterfly
Country: canada
Comment:
I thought I was alone, wow. Len from Austrailia, could you explain your solution in more detail please? It's seems interesting and I've tried everything else. Help...anyone.
Name: XYZ
Country: india
Comment:
I am a 25 years and a professional. I am an addicted day dreamer. Though during my teenage I thought it was a lack of concentration, now it has become a serious problem for me. i am not able to control myself of day dreamin . even while i am working or doing anything my mind keeps on thinking something else. i am seriously troubled with this problem. can any body help.
Name: Freya Kulshreshtha
Country: india
Comment:
Keeping the balance in day-dreaming is right, and best. But DAMN, this balance is like walking on a rope from the Stratosphere Tower to the Eiffel Tower. That's because it's not possible to know you're doing it when you're doing it. Perhaps, the balance is THE best thing, after all. Better than not having a day dreaming habit. We can all say, ("we" for being a day dreamer, too) that we are suffering from an addiction that can ruin some parts of our lives. But hey, maybe we have more potential to come to the balance. I would say that not having a habit of day-dreaming, and then trying to make yourself day dream would be close to making a joke out of yourself. Day dreaming about what we need to accomplish helps in knowing about important things we might not pay heed to otherwise, because we are thinking and rethinking, and rewinding the same scenes and skipping some boring parts. It fuels creativity, as said before. It could be very fruitful. Maybe the best thing is to give it a more productive direction. Not abandoning it, but only directing it. Not keeping any expectations would be first to safeguard yourself from the pains of disappointment. The best thing already is that we all are aware of this... "This" ? I call it DDA for Day Dreaming Addiction. Or the BEST BEST thing. Let's just write a book and make money out of it! Did I just found myself another topic to day-dream about?
Name: kitty
Country: usa
Comment:
Thanks Francisca, your advise and comments have been useful, i am trying to cpmbat my daydreaming and it is difficult as you say! it is nice to know that you have coped with it and have reassurance that it can be beaten. day by day living seems like real good advise and that is what i'm trying! best wishes Kitty
Name: Francisca
Country: costa rica
Comment:
I had been an "excessive daydreamer" since I was about 12, now I am nearly 21. At first I could maintain a normal life, but slowly I became more and more consumed by my unreal world that not only my schooling became more affected (I didn't enjoy studying much anyway), but so did my social and personal life. I was so happy in my world that I was detached from reality and didn't notice I had a problem. I got to a point were I didn't think of the consequences of my actions, and although I had all of these images of me being this great person in the future, I didn't quite make the connection that to get to were I wanted to go I needed to start working on whatever it was now. When I became 19 I had a personal crisis, and my little bubble were I lived popped. All of reality came cascading over me. The shock was such that I went into a serious depression. Thankfully I was able to get out of the depression (although I was still a bit unstable) and consider about the way my life was heading. It is difficult to stop or control "negative" daydreaming, especially if you have been doing it for a wile. But the first step in changing this condition is accepting that you have a problem (that is: you can't function normally in human society). The second step and maybe the hardest to accomplish is to control the amount of negative daydreaming you do, or as it is in my case, to completely eradicate it from your life. I have chosen this last option since I think that if I decide to put time limits and stuff I'll be too tempted to daydream a little more each time I do it, and that's not good. As a third step, I find that keeping my mind and body busy work rather well. Find things that are productive and that you enjoy doing (not daydreaming) and do them. Meet healthy people who share your interests and keep in touch with them. Get out of your house, its not good to be cupped up in some were for too long. Fresh air is always good for you. Live your life. It will probably be difficult to get out of the habit of negative daydreaming; after all it is an addiction and addictions are usually hard to overcome. But it can be done, all that is needed is enough will power, a good motivation. This addiction like all others doesn't have a cure, but you can fight it. What I mean with "it doesn't have a cure" is that it will always be there, you will remember the old days when you lived in this wonderful or terrible- world of your own creation where you alone ruled. You will find yourself tempted to daydream again, or you will find yourself already daydreaming. When this happens you need to have enough strength to give yourself a strong, firm NO. A good thing that you could do is take each day as it comes. You can't say "I will not daydream ever again", but you can say "I will not daydream today", this is much easier to do. It is a constant battle, making sure that you live, and not be consumed in negative daydreaming. But over time this battle becomes easier to fight and your life can become rich and interesting with the new experiences living can bring you. P.S. In reading the posts, I see that there are two views of daydreaming: those who think that daydreaming is good and those who think it is bad, I believe that both opinions are true. I think it depends on the type of daydreaming and the amount of time devoted to it. Because if a person is daydreaming about their life, planning for their future, and if they don't spend their days thinking about it, but mostly acting for their plan to come true, than this type of daydreaming is healthy. Or if a person is, apart from living their life, daydreaming creating art, than that is healthy also. But if a person is lost day and night inside their head existing in an unreal world and doing nothing productive in the real world, than that is not healthy. I hope that this information can help you, and I hope you find the strength to overcome excessive daydreaming. Sincerely, Francisca
Name: Naziem
Country: south Africa
Comment:
My 5 year old child daydreams in school. Can anybody recommended this bad habit to go away
Name: kitty
Country: usa
Comment:
I day dream excessively and i think that it can be a negative effect on your life. Dreams about your future and goals are one thing and i believe these to be healthy and positive to help ambition, however my dreams are about another life, with other made up people who just do not exist. When i am dreaming though i feel so in control, so happy and so taken away with the dream i can't help myself. Nothing in life gives me the same happiness and confidence, how can this be good for life? it is an addiction, i pace while i dream which has been going on now for almost eight years and is beginning to cause me physial pain in my knee, yet why can't i stop?? i am desperate to stop but everytime, i only last a week or so before i just give up and need to fall back into the habit. Its a real problem that can need 'curbing' when it gets out of hand. any suggestions will be appreciated, i'll check the website for any new articles.
Name: Sid
Country: canada
Comment:
Hello to all - I, too, am a huge daydreamer and it does affect my sleep and my work (I'm supposed to be working right now!). I think that as we get older, it does come right down to will power and becoming more active in our lives to help overcome excessive daydreaming. I'm 28 and I go through periods of up to a few months where I'm totally distracted from real life, though I would appear mostly normal to others. It drives me nuts to an extent but I also have fun with it and think that life would be boring without. I know that I should stop myself on some of the daydreams but I could take others further. I like the idea of daydreaming for the future instead of over something that happened in the past or, as in my case, coming up with exciting scenarios where I am the lead person (i.e. fantasizing about a dream lover or being in a movie or saving people from something awful). It's fun for a night or too but it gets out of hand and is a total waste of time. It feels very egotistical too! I do agree that daydreaming gets worse if you are bored or stressed. I also associate it with the "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. I am guilty of that and it fuels my fantasies/daydreaming. It should fuel innovation but it holds me back for the most part. I am going to make a concerted effort to stop some types of daydreams, or at least limit it to a certain time limit, and concentrate more on real life or more "real life" daydreaming. Thanks for sharing and no one is ever alone in this life. Someone out there always shares a quirk you think is uniqe to you.
Name: awais
Country: saudi arabia
Comment:
please somebody advice me on how to get rid ofday dreaming . it had made my life miserable.i have this habbit sinc 15 years.i get tension headache cause of this. please advice in this column.please
Name: s t
Country: india
Comment:
i am a day dreamer since my teen age.now it has become a habbit and ihave continious headache .so my advice for young people isnot to get engage in day dreaming .icannot concentrate on what ever i do.
Name: Kay
Country: usa
Comment:
DAy dreaming is getting really annoying. I'm hallocinating.
Name: dead
Country: pakistan
Comment:
i have a problem of daydreaming for 1 year because in reality i m a loser.i lost my love without making any mistake,i can't study,i m not a rich person and i lost my health.in my daydreams i have my love,i get good grades,i have money and i m a handsome person.what i m supposed to do.i think its too dangerous for my mental health.is there any one who can suggest me useful solution.
Name: short
Country: usa
Comment:
i wanna know why we daydream?
Name: John
Country: canada
Comment:
One thing this article fails to do is clearly diffrentiate between the beneficial and harmful types of daydreaming. Daydreaming can be considered perfectly healthy as long as it concerns personal accomplishment and artistic inspiration, but it can also be used negatively as a medium of escape from undesired stimuli such as boredom, stress, etc. This is impractical and should be "curbed." Everybody daydreams to a certain extent, but it shouldn't be taking up enough time that it begins to interfere with your life. If this is the case, seek professional help. There is no cure for daydreaming other than raw willpower; no magic pill exists to halt it. Therefore, in order to stop unproductive daydreaming, one must discover and correct the problem that brings it on. My personal suggestion on preventing unproductive daydreaming is to become more involved with various aspects of your life. A good distraction always works.
Name: Rahul
Country: india
Comment:
Hi, as usual my first sentence is "thank god there is such a forum on daydreaming".Im really releved to see that im not the only one, but everybody must appreciate that all of us very few in now & mostly have adverse effect. It's like getting addicted to the extream (in my case). I Can't leave w/o it but have to leave w/o it; as i come to know if i want to move ahead in life i have to give up day dreaming but....i can't. & i think most of u know why? But what is the solution to it. Im 21 year old & day dream like anything & i think i just come to know im dreaming like a hell. I have to get out of it & leave with the reality. Can anybody give me the solution. There are some discussions at the end but most of us hae only prsented the problmes, there are very few suggestions. If anybody have solutions or more link on the same topic then please write to me on techrahul2k@yahoo.com That will really help & please put subjest as day dreaming so that i will open that mail anyway thankk you all have a nice day & sweet but controlled dream regads rahul
Name: Steve Schnurer
Country: usa
Comment:
I daydream constantly about killing all my coworkers at GE healthcare. Is this unhealthy?
Name: nr
Country: usa
Comment:
I have read lots of articles about daydreaming but nothing on how to cure or curb the problem. I don't like the "floating away" feeling. Sometimes I don't know I am daydreaming until I come back to reality. Some people stare at me because I look like I am talking to some one invisible to them. Is there a cure? I don't mind taking vitamins. I'm not interested in medicine.
Name: simha
Country: india
Comment:
I belive in some cases we try to win in the virtual world coz in real we dont try or dont even think going that side. This attitude also took much of my time. I feel after reading whole comments that if this habit is projected as not advisable or dangerous for our own progress many wll give up or atleast try to control. I have firm belief that if we are sincere and wan to get rid we can, there is nothing in this world change that. This site is good and it has also played like an eye opener for me. I hope everyone who posted on this site will try to get rid of this habbit.
Name: Wondering what is wrong with me...
Country: canada
Comment:
I have been daydreaming since I was about 6 or so and am no turning 31. I would have to say that it has progressed into quite a problem for me. I have begun to incorporate music into my daydreaming and what I do is put my headphones on (blarring the music) and conjure up all these scenarios and I do this for hours on end. In fact I have actually left early from engagements and/or stayed at home so that I could have more time to daydream. Another part of the problem is that my daydreams are not happy - they either involve myself being chased by the police, someone I know being killed or else me being a burned out rock star. I am just finding it hard to live my life when I spend the majority of it daydreaming. I don't think daydreaming is healthy becasue as I have seen on this site there are alot individuals who are older and wish they had been discpilined for daydreaming as a child. Anyone have any words of wisdom or similar experiences: blacksweets6@hotmail.com
Name: anthony rodrigues
Country: japan
Comment:
i have been daydreaming since childhood where ever i m inmy class ,college school,now i have joined the job n in training session im not able to answers the simple questions thats very embarassing for me? i wont to work on it
Name: Sohny
Country: Canada
Comment:
I am also a daydreamer since my childhood. Its easy for me to sit and think every thing which I can't do. Now I have condition , I feel I can't get rid of it or may be can't live without it. Once I read an easy, in which writer tried to prove that all the Great people got success while thinking,i.e.,through imaginations.... but anyhow, in the age 26, what I did great is give birth to a daughter.....
Name: judy
Country: USA
Comment:
Maybe for some. I daydream so much that I am called a space cadet everywhere I go. I cant make friend easily and everyone calls me stupid even though I know I am not. I can sit through entire speeches or meetings and be clueless of what it was about. I rented a move once called "Less than zero" just to see if the lead characater was less than me. It has affected my jobs "Ive had 55 or maybe more" and I never married because I cant find anyone to commit to me. Now you tell me this is normal. I am 50 years old.
Name: Pippa
Country: England
Comment:
I am so glad to know i am not the only one!!! daydreaming fuels creativity yes, but it also contributes to feelings of isolation, which makes me question what it is in reality that Im running away from. Im addicted though, and dont think I'll ever stop.
Name: m
Country: India
Comment:
I know that i have an negative fealing about one of my class mate girl she uses to talk to me ofently ones i have proposed her and she sad no she sad that she will never talk to me i have been very open with her like talking about sex after she sad no to my propose she again started talking to me as usual she told me not to take negative but iu always start thing abuot her while eating bathing studying i am not able to control over my self i am slowly becomying more iritated i am always cared about my smartness but not able to concenterate on my studies
Name: m
Country: India
Comment:
I know that i have an negative fealing about one of my class mate girl she uses to talk to me ofently ones i have proposed her and she sad no she sad that she will never talk to me i have been very open with her like talking about sex after she sad no to my propose she again started talking to me as usual she told me not to take negative but iu always start thing abuot her while eating bathing studying i am not able to control over my self i am slowly becomying more iritated i am always cared about my smartness but not able to concenterate on my studies
Name: Mandeep singh virk
Country: India
Comment:
I have an bad habbit of day dreaming I have an friend who is a girl i always start thing about her that i will talk to her this or that i know that its my negative thing i am not able to enjoy anything of my life i am not able to take my bath,breakfast etc
Name: len
Country: Australia
Comment:
I daydream excessively, its consuming me now, it starting happening in the 10th grade and the habit has stuck. Its consuming my leisure and productive time and ruined some parts of my life. However I am getting on track by keeping a watch with me that monitors excessive day dreaming and its frequency and it has helped me reduce it a lot. I also dont allow myself to daydream about uncreative things which are just fantasy. Its quite hard but it appears to help.
Name: kat
Country: Canada
Comment:
Daydreaming has been beneficial to me, because it inspired me to do certain things in my life, like travelling the world, to painting a painting and being spiritual. However, it has had its major disadvantages. For instance, by daydreaming about the future by the time the future does come, I have so many expectations that i tend to get disappointed, because reality did not follow the scenario that i spent days building and perfecting. When daydreaming about the past, I get carried away in analyzing a particular situation, sometimes in a negative way and after I can spend days thinking it over, when in fact what really happened could be much simpler.
Name: louie
Country: USA
Comment:
I have a son who is in 3rd grade that daydream a lot. His teacher often told me that she always caught him day dreaming. What should I do???
Name: Nicole
Country: USA
Comment:
Daydreaming destroyed my mind!
Name: Paul
Country: USA
Comment:
Daydreaming has certainly had a negative effect on my life. I feel like Dori from "Finding Nemo". I payed attention in school. I got really good grades when I actually did the work. Recently, I was a returning college student, but I dropped out because I have a short attention span and I have trouble remembering specific details. If you saw me in person, I'd appear as normal as everyone else, until you start to talk to me. My biggest problem right now is recognizing people I just talked to. I find this very tragic because I used to remember everything when I was 10. Now I'm only 19 and I can't even remember close friends of mine. Keep in mind that I don't think that daydreaming is completely wrong, but if you have a child, pay close attention to your child. Please, please try to get them into counseling or make them understand that constant daydreaming is a bad habit. My parents didn't.
Name: Jack
Country: USA
Comment:
The article isn't negative about daydreaming in general-- only the problem of getting carried away with it. I daydreamed as a child, and was even chastised for it by my teachers. I think the level of daydreaming I did then was normal and healthy though. Something awful happened to me later that got me started with unhealthy daydreaming. I would imagine that I had a chance to live my life over again as many times as needed to make things turn out better. I would spend hours every day thinking about these alternate versions of history-- so much so that I started losing touch with the real world. I stopped learning new things or planning for my future because my imaginary lives were more important than my real one. I did also almost get hit by cars a couple times while walking around. Now, I try to mostly daydream about the future and I try to keep my fantasies realistic. If I daydream about impossible things, I try to think of it as writing a story. Most of all, I try not to let it eat up all of my time and distract me from important things-- which is exactly what the article suggests.
Name: John
Country: Canada
Comment:
Although daydreaming does fuel imagination, excessive daydreaming is damaging to our mental and physical health. I have day dreamed excessively about one subject -- about how well I do in a particular activity for example -- and sometimes I feel the damaging effects of it. So it's all about balance.
Name: michelle
Country: Other
Comment:
Thank god I'm not alone, I'm also a daydreamer. And I've always wanted to write, as a hobby and I play sort of like movies in my head where I'm the protagonist. I thought I was the only one doing that, ever since I was little I would daydream alot and like act out scenes but now that I'm older I don't but I still daydream mostly when I'm bored, or when I fall asleep.
Name: Iona
Country: England
Comment:
My son, who is 8 months old daydreams upto 5-10 times a day, and has done since he was born. I know that this isn't normal, so if it isn't, what is wrong with him and why does he do it. Other people have said to try and curb it as early as possible, should I, or is it a gift.
Name: faisah
Country: Kenya
Comment:
I am an addicted day dreamer ever since I was 12 yrs. old until now I still daydream usually every time I'm alone. I thought it is okey to day daydream a lot but today it's getting in my way and it already affected my studies. I cannot concentrate on my projects and I hate it.I want to stop my habitual daydreaming but i don't know where to start.
Name: Bob
Country: Australia
Comment:
I have a terrible experince with a daydreaming problem .I had this problem since i was 12 but still this problem is with me i cant control it .I am 31 years old now .now i cant concenterate with every aspect of my day to day activities please help me out of this problem.
Name: melissa
Country: England
Comment:
im doing my gcse's at the moment and as my school is very acedemic and i quite creative i get put down all the time classed as thick. i daydream alot of the time and miss out on what is being said.but i've just been told i can pass my art music and english gcse with a's so im happy now but i'm still being bullied by teachers but hey isn't daydreaming there to conquer them out!!!
Name: holmesmicrosweet@aol.com
Country: USA
Comment:
My 10yr old son from the time he enter school,teacher keep telling me your so daydreams and dont stay focus in class. It's not that he's not learning but it's botter line in school because of it. I'm sick of the teaching telling me your son dont stay focus and daydreams alot but when he's focus he does great work. Now it's cousing a problem because she said she may leave him back if he dont pass the reading test because of it. I need so help on this one. My husband tell me it's because I have him in a sport.That meet after school Mon.Fri.We sit and do homework before the class.And he enjoy the sport.So tell me if you feel this is causing him to drop in class.
Name: Kathy
Country: USA
Comment:
My son is basically being punished for daydreaming in his 3rd grade class. The teacher seams very frustrated and he is being humiliated in front of his peers for daydreaming. I feel if she understood what daydreaming is all about she would take a different route in dealing with this problem.
Name: A. K. A.
Country: USA
Comment:
I haven't read the article but I daydream all the time. It's nice to be able to create a world of your own or to dream about different things. The downside is that if you daydream so much that the situations you create seem real you can almost become depressed with the life you have and might wish that you could do something to change it. But it also depends on what you daydream about, I love it and love the fact that i can be quite creative when dreaming.Though, I don't think that anyone would understand what someone else dreams about(without it sounding silly or strange),we all daydream at one point or another. It's very healthy and does show uniqueness. It's wonderfully spectacular to discover what your mind can create. If your children often drift off into a daydream, you shouldn't worry but do try to get them back to reality every now and then, ESPECIALLY if it's getting in the way of schoolwork, friendships, activities, etc. But certainly don't try and stop it!!! That would be the most horrid thing in the world to do! Dreaming is the birthplace of goals in life, creativity, and all things not known to us. This may have sounded silly, but it's what I truly believe and it's terribly hard to put into words how important dreaming is.
Name: pooja
Country: India
Comment:
i was very happy to see this article as i am a trainee doing my ECCE diploma and we as group have to sudmit a presentation on daydreaming.i appreciate the effort putting this kind of information on net cause in india parents really need to be aware of these kind of day to day problems realting to the children.
Name: lee
Country: USA
Comment:
My daughter is in the third grade and daydreams often. She loves to write and make films. She wants to be a writer and a filmaker when she grows up. As long as she maintains good grades (which so far she does), I am proud of her and I hope she continues to dream.
Name: naddy
Country: USA
Comment:
I dont think daydreaming is a crock so i agree with vicki. I think daydreaming is heathy because you can get a deal of idea. So the person will have a good imagination and become someone great with his/her ability to understand and put things in perspective even of it is very strange and unable to comprend
Name: Namika
Country: USA
Comment:
I have a 5yr.old son that has just started to appear to be daydreaming on a consistent basis. Out of no where or in the middle of anything he couold be doing in that moment he would start to daydream. It is the scariest thing. I'm curently not working with no insurance and am worrying is this something to freak out over or just calm down and let him grow out of this phase. His teacher though has told me that he frequently goes into la,la land. Also, he has this new found love of playstation 2. I read on the back of one of the games I've recently rented that if he showes any signs of epileptic symptoms and one of those signs would be that of lack of awareness have him discontinue use and consult a physician. This is a problem also because A. my husband thinks I'm overreacting and my son throws to bad of fits if I take it away from him. I have though discontinue use on the weekdays for play but on the weekends he play's. Please help. I don't know what to do about this.
Name: Michelle
Country: USA
Comment:
I have a middle school age son who has been a daydreamer since he was a toddler, it is now beginning to affect his ability to concentrate in school. He is a straight A honor student, and I don't know how to help him learn to "control" his daydreaming at times that he needs to be getting instructions or assignments. Help!
Name: Debbie
Country: USA
Comment:
I believe day dreaming is as natural as night dreaming -- that we have subtle rhythms of drifting in and out of focus on concrete reality. One should allow themselves time to daydream -- knowing that it will happen. Try to be aware of how often you need to daydream. The advantage of daydreaming over nigh dreaming is that you have some control over the dream. Here is where you can use your imagination to improve your life. Beware of negative daydreaming and change it to a beautiful daydream. I believe lack of daydreaming time leads to high stress levels.
Name: Skye
Country: Australia
Comment:
I used to daydream a lot at school after my parents broke up anf my mother married an abusive man. It was a way to escape and cope. After a couple of years and teacher complaints I moved school and one of my first assignments was to write a story. It turned out I was very creative and I was put in a writing class, wrote a book at 12 which was published. I never did do very well at school, was very nervous of my teacher as I felt she hated me from my daydreaming. I am a mature age student now at university and lead a very happy life. I don't have so much time to daydream but I am happy.
Name: Ishrath
Country: USA
Comment:
The day dreaming may also because of the fantasy stories the kids heared with their elders.And they wanted to be like the heros in the stories.
Name: Jaime
Country: USA
Comment:
I've been daydreaming daily for the past nine years. It has not stopped me from "growing" as a person; in fact, I'd say that it has done the opposite. If anything, its taught me to think for myself and to think out of the box. I am extremely creative because I daydream. As an artist, that's a good thing. I believe the whole "daydreaming is a personality disorder" thing stems from the current trend that "if my child isn't the next Einstein, then there is something wrong with them." Personally, when it becomes easier to teach a child to regurgitate knowledge than to find a way to funnel their apparent creativity, I begin to worry about the future.
Name: linda
Country: Canada
Comment:
I used to daydream a lot but have stopped myself after this incident. I was in the grocery store and was daydreaming. I took someone else's cart and went off with it. I noticed that the cart was heavier and looked down and saw it was the wrong one. I was so embarassed. I have made an effort and not daydream as much and have found I can get more things accomplished in my day.
Name: Melanie
Country: Australia
Comment:
i am a terminal daydreamer. aalways have been. has anyone ever experienced this in a negative sense for example, reality becomes so stressful that the habit of daydreaming becomes your preferred existence and what you are daydreaming about is no longer bringing you pleasure
Name: pads
Country: India
Comment:
It is thoroughly confusing that the page on day dreaming says that it is a behavioural disorder the views on this page says that it enhances and should be allowed. I have a child in my class who is seven years and making him write has become such a big problem because he is always in the dreamland. Please help
Name: Feff
Country: USA
Comment:
Thanks, Vicki. As the proud proprietor of a rambling mind, I am relieved to hear that there are still people who do not view creativity as a disorder. While my tendency to "drift off" can be frustrating at times, I have learned to control it to the degree that I have a--gasp--normal, happy life.
Name: Sparkles
Country: Canada
Comment:
When I was really, many teacher really complained about me daydreaming so much. My dad would always be so angry about my daydreaming. I am beginning to learn that daydreaming can be very helpful in guiding people in their lives. For example, daydreaming can help possibly help you acheive your goals or help you write imaginative stories if you are a writer. Daydreaming can guide you, for example, I have been daydreaming about an acquaintance that I met 10 years and I have learning things about myself that I might of not realized. For example, I have discovered that there are quite a number of risks that I haven't taken and I am hoping I can have more courage. He has helped me realized to try some new things and if it doesn't work out I at least tried. I do believe that daydreaming can be positive.
Name: Richa Saklani
Country: India
Comment:
I agree with Vicki, the professional writer. The article is rather alarmist-no permanant cure etc. Each of us is born with our own quirks. There are patterns, no doubt, but creativity and genius don't come from patterns. Mark Twain was a daydreamer--in his autobiography, he recounts an episode of when he was daydreaming when he took his infant for a drive -- the clothes flew off the child and the child was blue with cold. The child died a few days later. I admire Twain's honesty and confidence and his faith in his own quirks that would have made him write this in an otherwise happy and amused account of life. While I agree that the source of daydreaming may be the need to escape from unpleasant or stressful situations, I also believe that a child's natural habits should not be threatened through something as horrible and useless as vigilance. They say that the whole world is an illusion - sab maya hai - someones daydream maybe. A daydreaming child would have sensitivity, depth and intelligence. He or she should be encouraged to be herself or himself-should not be disturbed, should be given their space and nurtured.
Name: rani vyas
Country: Other
Comment:
yes i often day dream but in my schooling time i concentrate on my studies as i m in 10standard,but i dream in bathroom in morning while,brushing,bathing etc.is`nt that funny.
Name: ham
Country: India
Comment:
i am daydreaming mostly in the school. Help me out of this please
Name: Joe
Country: Canada
Comment:
I am an addicted day dreamer. I have not control over my ability to concentrate for any more than a few seconds at a time.
Name: gop
Country: India
Comment:
i agree with vicki above-- what "global" article this is -such stuffy language that assumes a child has no individuality - ready to be trained for the real world...
Name: vicki
Country: USA
Comment:
I am a professional writer and the first words that come to mind after reading this article are "what a crock." Daydreaming a "personality disorder" that should be "curbed as soon as possible." Luckily, all parents of gifted writers, filmmakers, artists, animators, etc. don't share this skewed view of the world. From daydreams come dreams, dreams fuel the imagination, imagination fuels innovation, innovation fuels the future... An eight year old girl who daydreams... normal, creative, artistic...
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