Children and Masturbation

Children and Masturbation

Introduction

Masturbation can be one of the most embarrassing aspects of growing up and parents go through their own emotional upheaval, as they would not like to believe that their child is indulging in such behavior. Besides, they might also be privy to some wrong information and myths about masturbation and believe it to be harmful to the sexual development of the child. A point that should be made clear here and now - masturbation has no physical or mental side effects until taken to an extreme. But the child definitely goes through the fear of being caught with his pants down and brought to shame. And this fear leads to an extreme state of anxiety that would require proper counseling and therapy.

Masturbation taken only to an extreme degree is a behavioral disorder

Studies have shown that a tendency towards masturbation in very young children should be totally ignored and not made much of as that would only serve to make them more conscious of what they are doing. It would also make them feel unnecessarily guilty of something that comes very naturally at that age. According to the dictionary, masturbation is self-abuse. And no very small child would indulge in self-abuse. If they were made to feel conscious that they might be doing something wrong, it would only make them more aware of it and then result in a need to derive pleasure in this way. But if this tendency is ignored, the child might grow out of it quite naturally and would not suffer from feelings of guilt.

It is only when the masturbation is taken to an extreme degree and the child tries to derive pleasure by stimulating his sexual organs excessively, does it lead to stunted sexual development and would normally interfere with his sexual development and life in the future.

Lack of Parental Attention

This kind of behavioral disorder generally affects those who come from broken homes and are totally neglected by their parents who have absolutely no time for them. These children are not only very insecure but crave any kind of attention or company. If they do not get it from others they give it to themselves. And if it gives them pleasure, as masturbation most certainly does, it becomes a habit disorder and is most difficult to give up. The child tends to get entirely lost in this pleasure seeking activity and some even seem to enjoy it without any shame or fear. It is only after he is totally immersed in this activity and it begins to interfere with the rest of his life that it comes to the notice of his parents. And this is when the fear or anxiety syndrome starts.

Sexual Abuse by Family Members

In some cases it is poor housing facilities combined with inadequate sleeping arrangements that provide plenty of opportunity for child abuse. And in some it is the older child who seeks pleasure by defiling the innocence of the younger one. Or sometimes it could be a totally frustrated older relative who is starved for any kind of entertainment or pleasure seeking activity. Once the child is introduced to the stimulation of physical excitement it is very difficult for him to give it up and if he can not get it from anyone else, he will give it to himself. But parents of the upper stratas of society must not relax their guard as you can find frustrated, deviant relatives anywhere. Nor should you leave your child totally in the care of the servants because you never know what they are up to behind your back. So once again it all comes back to parental negligence which is the root cause of all problems.

Loneliness and limited social interactions

In a normal household, with the correct sort of upbringing, no healthy child would just take to this kind of disorder without any cause. It is only if he or she is very lonely and does not have friends or siblings to play with and no entertainment or pleasure seeking activity to participate in, do such problems arise. But if the parents spend quality time with the child and have a healthy rapport, the child has good social interactions and participates in games and sports and other constructive activities, then he finds no need to derive pleasure out of any kind of deviant behavior pattern.

Reassurance and diversion into other activities can make it a passing phase

So when a child is brought in to a child guidance clinic to deal with the problem of masturbating, the counselor at first tries to divert his mind away from the problem by suggesting rigorous physical exercises, sports and other fun activities in order to sublimate the instinctual pleasures by healthier physical activity. The counselor then goes on to reassure the child that it is a passing phase and that there is a way out of it. In some cases the child is taught about sex to make him understand that it is not necessarily dirty if handled in the correct way at the right age.

Then the counselor tries to find out and eradicate the real cause of the behavioral disorder and helps the child to overcome the problem through long hours of therapy. Then it is for the parents to take it one step further and provide a healthy, loving and secure atmosphere for the child to bloom in.

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