Dealing with Stubborn Children

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Name: my stubborn 11yrs old daughter
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
my daughter is very stubborn, she is 11 in 6th grade. she does what she wants she takes too much time to be ready for school, she refuse to eat most of the food i cook, she makes big deal of any small mistake or problem i believe she got this complicated character from her dad he is very stubborn and can be very mean sometimes so I don't really know how to deal with her specially in front of people when she loves to bother me.

Name: cajetan coutinho
Country: India
Comment:
never ever !!! I repeat hit your child. his or her stuborness is to defy you, dont give in,play a game with them according to their age.challenge their stunbordnes.after all even we were kids right.? promise them a prizes on their achivemtnets,and you"ll see the results, off course both ways, in their behavior,and your wallet. cajie

Name: Roslaind
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I do not not think you should ever hit your child. Ask calmly, then if the change doesnt occur issue a consequense. Follow through with the consequence no matter what and make it big (not going to a birthday party or a movie with the family). Even if you have to find a babysitter for that child at home, while the rest of the family goes. Find out what is important to your child and use those items/events as consequences. I have a stubborn 7 year old and he hates to miss kids movies, playtime with his Legos and birthday parties. His behavior changes most of the time when I use those items/events. Some days he is just plain stubborn, often when is is tired. I do not make a big deal..tomarrow is a new day. I still issue the consequence and he learns and usually the next day he gives me greater respect. Talk calmly, clearly and always always follow through. Your child might not all of a sudden behave with everything you ask but with time if you are consistent that child will evetually change. Make sure any parent who takes care of him is using this same technique.

Name: shalini
Country: India
Comment:
my daughters is 3years old n now a days he has become very stubborn n wants his way all the time.if it doesn't work he starts crying bitterly.as a result me n my husband both lose temper n sometimes hit him. my daughter is so stubborn even the teachers have problems with her. when she doesnt want to do somethink she wont do it,ive tried everything.

Name: hate the stubborn 7 y.o
Country: Germany
Comment:
I live with my Aunts family for about a year now. I have 2 big cousin (17 and 13) and 1 little cousin (7). I asked her nicely today with a please, to clean the plate she used for breakfast but she shouted NO and continued playing with her Nintendo DS then said she never do that. i ended up yelling at her as well. She obeyed but then she said *I'll hate you for this*. I think she doesn't respect us. Maybe it started when my Uncle said he is the Boss at home. I love kids but this one is really tough. It makes me even want to not have kids anymore.

Name: farah
Country: Jordan
Comment:
my daughter is 3y old shes very opinionated and stubborn. its hard to please her or convince her of doin anyth. i hate goin out with her coz she never behave and shout all the time .....plzz help me coz i started to think its a hopless case

Name: Amani
Country: Kuwait
Comment:
Hi, my son is so stubborn, he refuses to listen and doesn't obey my orders, we sometimes spank him but he still doesn't listen, he cries for a while and pauses then go back again to his stubborness and disobedient behavior, he is now 6 years old, has many many topys, but not always granted what he asks for, we try to encourage him and tried all types of rewards and punishments... please help

Name: Debbie
Country: South Africa
Comment:
my daughter is three soon, she makes me mad as hell at times, yet she is so bright for her age, she has a yonger sister of 1,the three year old never listen she always back chat, believe it, my three year old, sound like sixteen at times, please tell me what i can do, i use to hit her bum, but now i am not to sure if that will help at all.

Name: Janice
Country: Canada
Comment:
Take a parenting course. Read some books on parenting and child development. Don't yell or hit your kids. Spend as much time as you can with them. Good luck.

Name: Deborah
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I'm very concerned about my son. He is four years old, he is in program called the VPK program here in south florida. His teacher told me today they did flash cards and he just stand there and would not say anything the teacher told she even called in someone else. And he knows the words. So I'm at my wits end.He will soon be starding school and if he keeps that up they will think something is wrong with him. Any advise please call let me know.

Name: SOHA
Country: Lebanon
Comment:
My kid is almost three years old,i have tried my best to raise him disciplined and with understand and care,but due to his grandparents spoil,he became very stubborn and never listens to any request...i even sent him to day care center so at least he meets other children cause i once thought it might be due to jealousy of his 1 year old brother..nothing has changed and really confused what to do to make him at least listen.i don't shout at him... i try my best by talking to him, but so far nothing works..i want him to be disciplined and at least partially obedient ...just to sit on chair while eating..and such things..oh kidsssssss

Name: grace
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I cannot believe this debate. For over a hundred years people have been disciplining their children. Sure, there has been some extreme cases, but for the most part discipline was done in love. Now since people have decided not to discipline their children"for fear that they might become abusers" the rest of society has to deal with these "brats" and not of their own accord. It is the parents that made them that way by not showing them direction or boundaries. I have disciplined my children because I love them and do not want people to look at them as "brats".

Name: sue
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I have an 8 year old son. He is very stubborn. He talks back alot. He hates to do school work and only wants to play games. He would spend hours watching t.v. Once it's time to do some school work, he has and attitude. He really gets on my nerve, and i don't know what else to do. I'm a single parent and it's really hard. I can't talk to him about nothing, he said i'm shouting at him.

Name: Phyllis
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
My 11 yo gdtr has an anxiety disorder called SELECTIVE MUTISM, meaning she doesn't talk outside the family and sometimes even speaks in whispers when a family member she "doesn't like" is present. She is very mildly retarded. Her 16 yo sister is in the tsunami of teen rebellion, consequenses of whice include drug use and police contact. her 8 yo bro is adhd and psychotic (although that's not a usual diagnosis for a child. he's medicated for both and doing well, actually. OK now you know her. I'm a single grandmother with custody of the 11 and 16 yos. I'm a widow of 5 years and am being treated for depression. I'm not at my wit's end just yet but the knot at the end of my rope is very frazzled. I've tried all of the suggestions in the main article and they don't work with this child. I am afraid for her future because of her handicaps and wonder what the future holds for her when I am gone. Because I am in treatment for breast cancer right now, I don't have the emotional strength to deal with much of my family life. Any suggestions for the 11 yr old? Her mother was/is the Original Strong-Willed Child (of Dr. Dobson's etymology). The 16 yo followed/is following the same patter. We thought that the mother would eventually use this quality as a strength to make a life but that hasn't really happpened. Will "F" have the skills to be able to survive into adulthood with success? Will welcome any thoughts and suggestions. Thanks for reading down in this too-long submission.

Name: sandhya
Country: India
Comment:
my son is 3years old n now a days he has become very stubborn n wants his way all the time.if it doesn't work he starts crying bitterly.as a result me n my husband both lose temper n sometimes hit him.

Name: Meenakshi
Country: India
Comment:
I have a 20mths old daughter She is very stubborn and I am afraid whether her stubborness is just one of the phases or whether she is going to develop that stubborness. when i tell her not to do something, she makes it a point she does that at least 10 times (she enjoys doing so). As a last resort if i shout at her, she comes and hugs me. She also beats me and my husband a lot and u can c the anger on her face when she does that but we are unable to understand why is she getting so much anger as we dont do anything as such that she beats,bites and pinches us. I just dont know how to deal with her.

Name: Keerthi Delhi
Country: India
Comment:
I resigned my job as i have no one at home to look after my child. He is now 11/2 years old. He is very stubborn and I am afarid whether his stubborness is just one of the phases or whether he is going to develop that stubborness. when i tell him not to do something, he makes it a point he does tath at least 10 times (he enjoys doing so). As a last resort if i shout at him, he comes and hugs me. i just dont know how to deal with him.

Name: Samir N
Country: Yemen
Comment:
I have a 2 1/2 year old girl. She's very smart compared to her peers, which makes it harder to deal with her stubbornness. When she's being stubborn, I change the subject to "Daddy loves you". I let her know how much I love her, and that's she's a good girl. I simply let her go. Astonishing results. Not only she complies, but she comes and tells me she did it (both to please me and to get a praise or a hug). "Love you" works when least expected!

Name: arabyana
Country: U.A.E.
Comment:
i have a similar problem, but with my siblings! when-ever my mother keeps me incharge of them, they never listen to me! or follow my instructions!i am much older than them, i raised them because my mother is a very busy business woman! but whenever i am incharge they keep playing the "you're not my mother" card.. i really hate that because i get in trouble for giving up after a while! i am loosing it! really!! what should i do?

Name: Bikermama
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I am a homeschool mother of 3 kids (6, 7, and 10) My 10 yo is the most stubborn child. It is good that he has a mind of his own, is confident about himself but when it comes to me teaching him the better way to do things, he does not listen to it. Like today, he keeps arguing with me that he wants to pass out his visuals for his Public Speaking Speech to his homeschool mates while he's giving the speech. I explained to him he needs to wait until after the speech but he does not want to have anything to do with it. He argues and complains. He is a stubborn individual and I am at my wit's end.

Name: sue
Country: Singapore
Comment:
I have a problem with my child too. She does not listen to a single thing that I say. Always defiant. Lookslike she is born to go against everything in life. She is every intelligent but wants to push her boundary and upset not only herself but the others around her.

Name: Ned.
Country: Australia
Comment:
I'm sorry, but Amy's comment sounds awful. You sound like you would sooner crush your child than work with her for a positive outcome. Don't you think you are just teaching her to deal with situations that she doesn't agree with by caving in. You are crushing her self-esteem and she will not respect you and rebel when she is a teenager. Maybe you could show a little more respect for your daughter and explain to her why you need her to obey you instead of being forceful. Discipline with love, not with anger.

Name: shaily
Country: India
Comment:
My son is only 10 1/2 month old and is becoming stubborn.He reacts violently if prevented from doing anything.He cries at every little thing that displeases him.Any suggestions?

Name: Amy
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Are you kidding me? My child will do what I tell her to do and eat what I tell her to eat, this is not up for debate. If she does not, there is consequences. Parents have gotten entirely to weak, the things We ask our children to do are for their own good and have reasons behind them. And for a child to defy you by not obeying your requests needs to be punished.

Name: gemma
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
my daughter is so stubborn even the teachers have problems with her. when she doesnt want to do somethink she wont do it,ive tried everything..its a loosing battle

Name: Joma
Country: India
Comment:
I get disappointed very often with my daughter. She is very intelligent. But I think she is oevrconfident about herself and does not try to do her things properly. My each encounter with her is a fight.

Name: Saddiqa
Country: Bahrain
Comment:
am feeling vary bad toward my relationship with my kids (Boy 8 years) he is vary stubborn kids and am keeping shouting at him... i dont want to lose his love..!!

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