Blur

So far my writing has mainly focussed on the pregnancy and the delivery, periods when I had adequate time on my hands to think, ruminate and write. Now, four and a half months after their birth, everything is a blur and my writing stems from a much more spinal level.

From the time they were born and spent their first month at their maternal grand-parents' house, to the time when they came back home to the present time, when they are growing day by day, each day just seems to merge into the next, resembling one big time-space continuum. Everything is happening so fast. We can remember just yesterday when the two were in the NICU in the hospital being fed breast milk borrowed from some other lactating woman, sleeping more than 18 hours a day while today they are on khichdi, apple stew, Lactogen and breast milk, sleeping much less and coming across as two different, strong-willed individuals.

There is so much involved in bringing up children.
 

Typical Day

A typical day starts with their waking up around 7.30AM. I am rarely there, but on Sundays it is a treat to see them wake-up. They both stretch languorously and smile, especially if put in the path of the sunbeams that stream in from one of the windows. They move, kick their legs and want to be played with. An hour or so later it is time for a feed. The 'maalish bai' (masseuse) comes in around 9.00AM to bathe and massage them, after which it is time for a quick feed and then sleep-time. WFM goes to work then and comes back around 1.30PM. In between, the maids and my mother give them one feed usually consisting of khichdi or apple stew, which they sometimes take and sometimes don't. After that again it is feed-time, then sleep-time after which they wake up around 5.00PM. Play-time, feed-time, play-time, massage, bath and then time for their evening stroll in the twin-stroller, which is at around 7.00PM, usually in the local school grounds. Back home for some more playing, one more feed, dinner for us, play-time with the grand-parents, a last feed around 10.30PM and then back to their bassinets. Most nights, one of them gets up between 2.30AM and 4.30AM, which becomes feed-time for both and then back to sleep. 

I get to see them awake only in the evenings, if I can get back home around 7.00PM or not at all if I get back home around 10.00PM. I help out during the 3.00AM feed, carrying them around and putting them to sleep in their cots. On Sundays I try to be with them as much as possible.
 

Other Schedules

Each month, one day is scheduled for a visit to their pediatrician. Thankfully, the first lot of vaccinations is over and the last visit was the first one when they did not cry. The pediatrician's and our mind-sets match; he is articulate, explains everything and is against cow's milk. The twins have been keeping good health so far, except for the one or two days following vaccination.

Each Saturday they go to their maternal grand-parents' house, and WFM takes the day off from work. It takes them about an hour to get adjusted to the new place and faces, but after that they get along well with my parents-in-law. When they get back at night, they again take time to focus, but within an hour, are back to being comfortable with their surroundings and my parents.
 

Issues

There are so many issues to think about, so many controversies and so much contrary advice floating around. Much of what we are doing is a combination of common sense, intuitiveness, material that we have read or researched and our pediatrician's advice. The following is a list of some of the issues that we have had to face and that I will try and discuss in the next few articles.

1. Diapers v/s no diapers
2. What to feed them apart from breast-milk
3. Do you pick them up every time they cry, do you demand feed, let them cry, carry them, don't carry them, mollycoddle them, let them be…
4. Cow's milk v/s products such as Lactogen
5. Television
6. The maids
7. WFM going to work
8. Going out, leaving them at home
9. Going out of town with them
10. School (already)
11. Pacifiers
12. Weight gain

Irrespective of everything, the important things at present are to get as much sleep as possible and as much help as possible. The former is not under our control; I have already discussed the latter in my previous article, 'The Coterie'.

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