Views on Article - Is there Something Called the Middle Child Syndrome?

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Name: NUNYA
Country: U.S.A.
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I FEEL JUST LIKE YOU GUYS I FEEL LIKE MY MOM JUST HATES ME SUMTIMES THEN SUMTIMES SHE LOVES ME THEN THERES MY 16 YR OLD BROTHER AND MY LITTLE 7 YEAR OLD BROTHER AND IM THE MIDDLE AND I JUST FEEL LIKE MY MO ADORES THEM WAY MORE THATN ME AND I THINK ITS CUZ IM A GIRL AND THERE BOYS SO SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO DEEAL WITH A GIRL AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO TELL HER TO UNDERSTAND WERE IM COMING FROM SOMETIMES AND I JUST HATE IT AND I LOVE THEM BUT SUMTIMES I NEED TIME TO MYSELF BUT THEY WONT EVEN GIVE ME THAT TIME BUT MY OLDER BROTHER GETS TO GO ANYWERE AND I HATE IT I JUST NEED A BRREAK FORM SCHOOL AND HOMEWORK AND GETTING IN TROUBLE. THANKS FOR LISTENNG TO MY PROBLEMS

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Name: Sujata
Country: India
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Middle child syndrome or not - they are bullies! They will stomp their feet till they get what they want. If they still dont get it, they will break down and cry - and use the excuse of not being loved.

Name: Alice G. Middle Sister
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I'm simply inspired by the person at the bottom. However, I don't agree that they are bad practiced habits at all. Those are called chemical imbalance and middle child syndrome. Like myself I go through the pains of being unnoticed, ignored and neglected at times. Yes, I do cope but time goes by and the pain still remains stronger than your attitude. Depression is an act that people give you space to be alone, cause they just don't know how to deal with it. EVER! No one wants to be around a sad sap like me. My family keeps giving me space until I'm out of practice and interest to ever show myself that I'm stronger. My weakness grows by the time I'm completely invisible. I found a love in my way of coping with life itself without anyone putting all their energy trying to understand me. No matter how badly or well you are treated in your family, they still love you no matter what even if they don't show it. They understand you, but they didn't took their time to ever deal with you. It's best to put heart into others while you're still young, with random acts of kindness.... Middle children are strong and magnificent in every way. No matter if their flaws are strongly noticed by others more than their God given talents, they keep fighting hard to earn what they deserve in life. They deserve better! Middle children are a gift and their more independent than the rest of their siblings. It's the attitude to outshine the darkness that holds you from having a good life. Theirs nothing wrong with being alone as long as your happy, erase that line of sadness cause you don't deserve the worse in life.

Name: dont worry
Country: Canada
Comment:
hi, i'm in my twenties. smack in the middle. the quiet & shy one. yes, i'm awkward with approaching people. i admit that i have social anxiety, ADD & depression but it's not severe. these are bad practiced habits that i've been doing for so many years since birth. i realized that those bad practiced habits are something i got to fight off myself and practice good habits. learning to love myself and others. if i can't be pleased, it's my turn to please others. if i can't be heard it's my turn to hear what others have to say. it's very tough being the middle child but it's the time to understand the older one at your right and the younger one at your left.. everyone is going through so many trials but they succeed by having a simple positive attitude towards life.. step by step you become a stronger person and step by step you become a mature person in full bloom. practice, patience & meditation. those tears will go away, the fear of communication will die off, sadness will fade away once you fully accept and love yourself the way you are. give more time to show that beauty of yours and stop hiding.. shine out there and be a star! say to yourself "if they can do it, i will do it better" laugh and enjoy life no matter what. it's life, life isn't always a roller-coaster ride, life gets uncomfortable and boring most of the time.. but learn to cope and you'll find life pleasant by focusing on the things you love doing. don't worry

Name: DeDe
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I can relate to all the stories and agree all the perceptions are valid. It is tough being in the middle while growing up, but once you're out there and working, you will find you don't need the attention and can cope just fine on your own! I have a pet dog who is my best friend and enjoy my independence knowing neither of my parents helped me nor my siblings and am proud to have become a success on my own terms! Three cheers for the middle child!

Name: happy being the middle
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I'm a middle child of three siblings and I am treated well. I don't usually get into trouble. I love being a middle child. I get a lot of opportunities. But there are times when my other siblings get into trouble and I get pulled into the punishment as well. Every family is different. Every brother and/or sister is different. Every problem is different.

Name: tanya
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
i think it is hard being a middle child.am the middle child i have an older sisiter she gets me in trouble and breaks my things my younger brother does't has to do anything my sylbing get more attioton am sick and tired of it

Name: nick the sad middle
Country: Canada
Comment:
in my family im the one who is told to do everything even if one of my siblings is right next to me. i always fight with them even when i try not to. they say im not responsible yet i am more then any of them

Name: Tiffany
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
im a middle child too and i have to say i like it. yeah there are some hard parts to being the middle child like you arent old enough to do something that your older sib did and your too old to do things with your younger sib. but its not to bad im one of six though three are steps. but i can also see where some of yall came from cause i used to think i was the black sheep of my family. but i got over it. i love my family and they love me back i dont have to be told it every day. but there are great things from being a middle child like your more indepent i mean im 17 and i can cook dinner for more than one. in a way a middle child learns to take care of themselfs. the others can too but in my family my older brother is lazy and so is the younger one but thats just who they are and some times it bugs me but hey i learn to deal. but the best thing of being the middle child is i can see both of my brothers in me. dont get me wrong im a pretty girl and i dont need people to tell me. but my mom has always said she got both type of good looking boys. by that she means my older bro has the dark hair and the eyes and skin while my little bro is the all-american boy. blond hair blue eyes and light skin. well im a mixer of them. i have dark hair blue eyes that go green and light skin.anyway we all get along but we do fight. but being the middle child means we're more balanced and thats good we just have to realize we're speical in our own way and not worry of what others think. but i have no problem with being the middle child i find power in it and it also helps that i have my writings to help me stay clam and jsut go with the flow unless i dont like it then i get in another river but for those who cant find thier place in this world just talk to me and ill try and help. =) just remember things arent as bad as they seem and it could get wrost though i hope not well nite im going to take a shower.

Name: audrey
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
my family and perents dont understand what its like im the middle one an older brother that is 15 a younger brother that is 11 and my life is ivolved aroung them my brothers and my parents i get up in the morning at 4 fix my heir wake my dad up at 430 make coffee fix my dads lunch then wake my bros up for school at 5 then get dressed then take my medicine then i wake my mom up at 610 so she can take us to school im 12 years old and altho i dont mind doing this stuff i think it might be just a bit to much responsobility for me i stat exsaugsted and when i get home i do the house work plus my chores my brothers are lazy and im tierd of it!!!!! this is my complain thanks for listening

Name: Amanda
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
It's hard being a middle child. My family doesn't seem to understand who i am. nothing i do is ever good enough, but if my little sister does the excact same thing (after me!) they just love her for it! i don't know what to do. i've tried telling them several times that i feel like they love my older and younger sister more than me, but they won't listen. they say i'm crazy for saying something like that and that they love as all the same, but that's not have they act. if i get hurt, i have to keep reminding them that it hurts, but if it's my little sister they check if she's fine every other minute. i'm sick of it!

Name: kane
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
i think its great that there is a name for being the middle child and that people feel confident about speaking out about it i am the middle child in our family and have often felt left out unjustified for my talents and crave my parents attention i am 15 years old but feel like i have to act like am 5 years old to get any attention although it is a diplomatic place it is also a lonely and dark/dim place within the family and if asked about it by my mother i think i would tell her how i feel as a matter of fact i am crying about it whilst writing about as i feel increasingly depressed at how i feel i fell that my life so far is a fail and that i have no expectations to live up to and thats why not many people get my ways and the way i act i would give anything to be the ifrst or last born this article i am writing is in no way ment to offend my mother as it is what happens in life and and life is just unfair i also feel that all i do is hurt my mothers feelings and everything i do is a bad thing and everything i say i shouldnt say but i hope it gets better when i get a job and become more independent and loved for who i am and not what i should be

Name: DMS
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Well, now they have a name for it. I guess that's a good thing....but what now? At 52 years of age, what the heck do you do about it now?

Name: Crystal C.
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I hate being the middle child! It's such a lonely place to be. I have an older sister who is 23 months older than me and a younger brother who is 3 years younger than me. Wow has it been a very hard life. I am 39 years old right now and will never ever get used to being the middle child! All my life I have been suicidal. So many things have happened in my life due to my insecurities. When I was younger I tried to commit suicide several times but by the Grace of GOD, I am still here. Finally one year while I was in high school I tried for the last time. I vowed that GOD has me here for a reason. I thought I would never have a child. My sister has 2 kids and my brother has 3. They both had their children at a young age which is what I wanted to do because then you grow with your children and have a better bond… well at least that’s what I thought. I have been with my husband for 14 years now. These have been the hardest 14 years of my life because it’s true what they say about us. We don’t know or are too afraid to love anyone. So I have been making myself stay with this wonderful man. He is a great man and spoils me to the end; I just don’t know how to love him. Well we finally had a child after 10 years together. I have a BOY! I do not want any more children because I do not want to share the love that I have for my son. I’m afraid that what has happened to me in my life may happen to them. I will not put a child through that. The problem I have been having here lately is that my sister and brother keep me in the middle of their arguments. I do not like taking sides, but they make me… lately this have been very hard for me. My suicidal thoughts have returned. I will be seeking some help because I can’t have these thoughts. I have a 4 year old son that really needs me so I will be seeking some help! I have so much more to say but cannot. Thank you all for reading my post.

Name: Wrinkly Middle Child
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I am the middle of three. I am now in my late 50's and it has only been within the last few years that I have learned anything at all about Middle Child Syndrome.For years I have felt that I did not belong in my family. I was invisible.Nowadays I have little contact with them. My elder sister and my younger brother enjoy a happy friendship, but I am never included. None of us live close together, but is this a cause or an effect???? I function much better without them. When I visit my parents all they do is talk about the achievemnets of my brother and sister. How ever much effort I make, I never feel it will match what they do. It has been like this all through my life, but as I said earlier it has only come to my attention the last few years. So no-one can say I discovered this Middle Child Syndrome and made my life fit into it.... So parents out there BEWARE.... however you bring up your kids in those early years .. they carry for the rest of their lives. I am ok on my own, but my poor self esteem has meant I have never been able to truly love anyone else.. ( You cant love someone else properly until you can love yourself......) This is the way it is. I recognise the situation but it is so hard wired into me it is impossible to change. I wish things had been different

Name: Angie
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I feel like being the middle child is very unfair i have one older brother and one younger brother.i am 13 years old an mai older brother is 16, and the other one is 1 years old. My mom feel like she treating us all equaly but in my head i feel very differnt from my brothers. im in the 8th grade with many wonderful friends. i have been changing schools every single year so i dont have a long life friend. im really hoping that i would be able to stay at my new community but im a 8th grader n next year i'll be attending high school which is a very very big change espically because a new school all over agian. many people say moving is a good thing but it seems to me that moving is like getting killed and getting born agian. i also didnt go to 2nd and 3rd grade so my spelling isn't that good. but my grade are average which is very hard to belive but it true.my mom wants me to be just like my brother because he ha 4.0 as his GPA but mine remain at 3.2 im trying really hard in school doing my best in all my classes but, my mom just think im not try to do my best in class. But when my brother fails his test she just ignors his grade. And my brother acts very nice around his friends but whn he come home he always hits me or say mean and hurtfull things to me and we end up getting into a fight and im ALWAYS the one tht gets yelled at. My mom also spoiles mai little brother because she works n i have to take care of him every time i get home from school, but few weeks ago i would always go to my friends house and do homework and get home by 6 pm. my mom was okay with me going out but then after she banded me from going any where after school so i cant even work on projects with mai partner! so when i get home i would always have to take care of my little brother. and when my older brother gose to his friends house after school and doesnt come bak untill 8 pm mai mom never bands him from going any where which is very very un fair. i do pray to god and wish that somday things can change but some things just dont change at all, and u noe it wont.

Name: jeff
Country: Other
Comment:
this is really great info becuse im the middle child and i can finally give my mother some actual info! thanks!

Name: Good and Bad about Middle Child of Three
Country: Other
Comment:
There IS something called the Middle Child Syndrome.I would say it's hard being stuck in the middle.I would also say it's nice being stuck in the middle.Every child has it's own good and bad but for a middle child...well most of it were bad (from MY point of view). My father is the oldest in his siblings but he always tried to treat us all equally. My mother is the middle of four siblings but it still seems like she doesn't treat us the same since she's busy ALWAYS being with my smaller brother. My parents always like to compare me with my sister... "Don't you ever think about following your sister or maybe be better than her?" They said these kinds of stuff for like 3 times a week. Of course i did think about being better than her but i never really think about racing with her since she treat me and my brother all equally...well not THAT equally since my brother always allied with my sister to fight me back eventhought i really did nothing! I have to admit that my father is always with my sister which is why my sister is so like my father. But lately he's been very busy so i started to feel very lonely and my sister is at university studying. My parents always support my sister and my brother but when it comes to me they start to lecture about me not actually racing or being like my sister or my brother(who is such a baby!). The good stuff about being the middle child is very little that sometimes we ourselve didn't even notice. Middle Child sometimes gets more freedom than most of their siblings since middle childs are quite INVINSIBLE. If you are the middle child of three and you are annoyed about your smaller brother/sister trying to be such an innocent baby in front of you but they are actually finding trouble then just ignore them while they are trying to talk to you and just continue your life as if you have no smaller brother/sister. It works for me not really sure if it works for others. Sometimes it's really our fault that we are such "LOSERS" compare with other siblings, sometimes it's really the parents that didn't notice their unequally relationship can actually change the relationship of the childrens too. I am an INVINSIBLE human and nobody can stop me!

Name: Younger Child
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I'm the youngest child of three in my family, and I've always felt that my older siblings tries to turn everything into a competition. I often doing badly at subjects in which they are good at, and they feel the need to emphasize this fact to my parents and point this out. Until I was fifteen I hated having to do anything publicly. Standing up in class, buying things in shops even to the point that I was painfully shy around anyone I hadn't known for a long period of time. I used to tell myself that I must have something wrong with me due to my lack of confidence, just because of the fact my siblings were extremely outgoing and had no problems whatsoever. It was the same when it came to my exams, and GCSE's. I'd be bullied until they got the mark or heard what subjects I would be taking. At which point I'd then get the disappointed looks from my parents, and the smug smiling faces from my siblings. Because no matter how hard I studied, how hard I tried to pay attention in lessons my best didn't seem to be good enough. I got a B on my maths GCSE. My sister decided to bring up the fact that she had got an A*. I feel obliged to point out I felt no need to bring her down in any way but she had her moment of glory when she did them. The year I was doing my S.A.T.S in Year Nine, was the year she was doing her GCSE's. When she had been doing the S.A.T.S everyone treated her as if she was about to undergo major life saving surgery. I too treated her the same way because they were so important to her. But as soon as the tests came up for me they weren't so important. My sister even said to my face in front of my parents that my S.A.T.S marks didn't matter. Because I would never amount to anything more then a lettuce washer in a hotel. Or someone who emptied the bins. My parents didn't say anything to her, just told me that if I thought the tests were important then they were. I cried for days about this. It was highly unfair of them. To treat me in such disregard when they had practically been walking around her the year before like she was on eggshells.

Name: Middle Child
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
It can really not be healthy being a middle child at times. I am a middle child I have an older brother and a younger sister. My brother is the star athlete and my sister is the one who nothing is ever her fault. I'm not stupid I know my father favors my brother and my mother favors my sister. I am the artsy one but no one seems to give a damn. The worst part is my mother was a middle child and she resents my grand parents for leaving her out. You would think that she would give me sympathy but she doesn't. In fact I just got into a fight with her cause I was blamed for trying to emotionaly hurt my sister which I wasn't I was trying to help her! Well anyways sometime it gets so bad I end up breaking down crying. I get really depressed sometimes you know? Neglect is never a good thing..... :(

Name:
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
iam the middle child and i feel like ... Wells its hard for me. i feel every loney and sad. my parent think my older sister is the most perfect person in the world . my ounger bro is the sweetest and cant do any harm . But they think iam the one who starts all the fight with my bros. well i am =] but my brother is soo annoying . well i hate them so much . iam all ways starving for attention =[ its very unhealty n' they only walk to me about my weight problem=[.

Name: Middle Child
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
middle is by far the hardest position to be in. my little bro and me always fight! he always gets his way and i end up getting yelled at! my parents dont care and appreciate me. if my little brother gets a 90 on a test (3rd Grade) they get all excited. if i get a 98 on test they say ok cool. no happiness or anything?!?! and my older brother is this big track runner and a superstar. he always gets mad at me for no reason. if i strike out in baseball my mom yells at me. i hate hate hate it!

Name: hayz
Country: New Zealand
Comment:
omg!! use should get over yourselves.. you know that your parents love you!! its physics, being the middle child means noTHIng, im a middle child and even tho i notice that my older and younger siblings have much more ability than i ever will, i still appreciate the fact that i was put here for a REASON,youse should be graeafull you have siblings at all.. would really rather prefer being an only child?? think about the advantages of being the middle child.. because their are some! who cares what your parents expect from you.. at the end of the day its really up to you.

Name: Alone
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
The middle child syndrome is definitely true. I am a middle child of three. I have a perfect sister(2 years older) she is every parents dream child. She is absolutely stunningly beautiful, she is a genus in all either level one classes or expert classes, is very polite, rarely argues, has tons of friends healthy skinny, very athletic, and has a awesome boyfriend... yeah i have to live up to those expectations. Then my brother (three years younger) he is athletic and mamas little boy, he gets most of the attention. It doesn't help that he has adhd so my mom sits with him and goes through the homework problem by problem. That leaves me as the left overs I'm not as athletic or as smart as either I'm just an average girl. my parents never notice me i get away with tons and I'm def not as connected to them I'm more self efficient and independent and my friends are more family then they are. They only comments they ever make are negative they vent to me, about whet ever then suddenly its my fault so i find my self hiding my room often. the words i hate most are "why can't you be as smart as your sister?" or "why can't you do as many sports as john?". i will always hate my parents for leaving me out and comparing. I am a individual and just because my siblings do hockey and softball doesn't mean i want to. I love to run long distance that is when i can be free, but in their eyes it simply isn't enough. sometimes i feel so alone as if no one understands. My dad was the youngest my mom the oldest, they have no idea what its like to be stuck in the middle. They never make time for me or to take me to track the sport I'm actually good at they are simply to busy. "Middle child syndrome is true it just doesn't take place in all families."

Name: 8th grade middle child
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
My parents aren't home much, working all the time for our need of money so i keep my feelings inside. I want to feel that my parents raised us equally ,but I dont. I have a brother 5 years older than me in college and a younger sibling by one year. About 10 years ago my youngest brother got cancer (leukimia) and I didn't really know how bad it was until a few years he was cured. He is always used to being spoiled and I feel guilty for thinking that about him because he had cancer. Both are total pimps and gets friends much easier than me. My older brother is a big bully ruling with tyranny. I always knew that I was diffirent , but at first postively in my early years. I think of myself as having the negative traits of mostly a middle and youngest child. I usually contain my feelings in me ,but my feelings seem to stack instead of going away making me break out even for the smallest things. I think that it's very strange that not only my older brother ,but also my younger brothers ability to make me cry. I'm sorry for the scattered thoughts.

Name: child number 3
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I am child number 3 out of 5 and have always been treated differently to the rest. My family has never been a normal family whatever that means. My parents never intervened whenever there were fights, arguments or bullying. I am an adult now and still feel left out. It's ridiculous. To be honest I don't like my family at all and don't get on with anyone in the family. I blame my parents and still do even though my Father is no longer alive. There was always favouritism and still is and it disgusts me still that my Mother has the cheek to tell me time and time again that I am a problem child. I think she should re phrase that as she contributed to the way I turned out. I am happy I went all the way with education and that I am a teacher now. However I am not happy that things still don't change. My mother refuses to accept the fact she failed as a mother well with me she has. I told her I would never treat my children when I have them the way she has treated me.Her favourites will always be her eldest and 2 youngest. She gets all defensive when I speak about the others even when they are wrong. They are perfect in her eyes and no matter if I am right in her eyes I am wrong. We have the most disfunctional family in Britain no wonder I left the country to keep away from them all. My parents made my life hell as a child and teenager to the point that I wanted to commit suicide. My mother is soooo wrong in many aspects but she will never change and as a teacher I point things out to her but no she never listens cos my opinion ain't worth anything to her. I don't speak to 2 siblings the 4th and 2nd and she is glad I don't speak to the 2nd as they don't speak either. A normal Mum should give a hoot but this one no. As for siblings 1,4 and 5 they are her faves and will always be. Not a bad word can be said about these 3 ever. I need this forum as I want others to understand what I am going through even inmy thirties. My eldest sister is a horrid person a bully, who always treated me like crap, my brother is a violent git who has done sufficient damage and hasn't heart or forgiving bone in that body and the youngest is just a spoilt brat who plays the game. I go home when necessary but I am starting to think why the hell do I bother? I hate my family and will make sure when I have kids they are loved,treated equally and educated properly and taught how to get on, something we weren't.No one gives a damn if someone falls out with another. There are no mediators in the family. I tried but if the rest don't respond it's out of my control. What a weird family!

Name: MIddleChildSucks
Country: Other
Comment:
Being the middle child is really hard, you have to jump everywhere to get attention and when you do you get in trouble for it, I used to pretend to be naughty or get bad grades to get attention but then I just get in big trouble FOR it and I have to go Tuition and be punished for being bad. Now that I'm like that, I'll stay like that because I'm used to it and I hate getting in trouble and all with 15% attention when it should be equally divided by 3 (there's three of us children) but it's better then zilch.

Name: 16 year old middle child
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I have a sister one year older, and a brother 5 years younger. He gets everything, and because she achieves everything one year before me (e.g.: GCSE's, A levels) when it comes round to me, it never seems as important as when it was with her. I feel severly lonely, and very lost in the family. Both my brother and sister move up schools at the same time, so its a celebration - when it comes to me its never as special. I hate it. I really really hate it. They always leave me out, and most of the time im outspoken. I do what i can to get by, never overachieve. I help all i can, and im ignored in return. They get everything. And im not over reacting, and i really really mean it. Its real, unfortunately for me.

Name: 2nd kid
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I am the second child out of 4 kids. I definetly didnt get any of the benefits my siblings did before my youngest sister was born, and after she was born it was even worse because she, my other sister, and my older brother got all the attention. I think the reason for this is if you're ever a middle child you will always be a middle child. now my youngest and oldest sibling are spoiled brats, but my other sister isn't that bad. no one ever gets in trouble except me, for example: last week my brother beat me up...I got in trouble for making him want to beat me up of course.

Name: stuck in the middle
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I am the middle of 3 girls-my older sister 2 years older than me. She's smart and does everything right and gets alot of attention. My younger sister is 2 years younger than me. She's not as smart as my older sister, so she gets everything handed to her and gets ALOT of attention. I'm just stuck in the middle. Nothing special. My parents raised us very well and I don't remember them favoring any of us, but I always felt like I was nothing special. I get along with everyone and see both sides of every argument. There is definitely a middle child syndrome. Everyone is special and I try to let everyone I meet know that. I'm trying to be the best person I can and share kindness to everyone, because I know how bad you can feel about just existing and not being noticed.

Name: middle child forever
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Middle children are at a higher risk to commit suicide than the children that are older or younger... More evidence of Middle Child Syndrome.

Name: Stuck in the middle wtons of ambition
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I'm a middle child in high school right now, and I've got to say that there most definitely is something called "Middle Child Syndrome." I just finished my junior year in high school and i already have a lot of college credits. My parents fail to recognize that I've done any such thing. If I fail a test, my parents freak out on me. I take the hardest classes possible for my age, and still nothing in return from my parents. My older brother takes the easiest classes possible (he's graduating this year) and they praise him. If he fails a test in those easy classes, they just tell him to "get back up on your horse and try again." He has no college credits and isn't even preparing to go to college and they still praise him. I won our school spelling bee 2X and they did little to nothing about it... My little brother was in it this year, he got out right away and they still celebrated, saying for him to even be there was an honour. I want to be an interpetor/translator when I get out of college (something I love to do), my parents don't support me at all. My little brother wants to be a meteorologist (something he'd be terrible at, he's scared of any weather disruption), they support him 110%. So anyone who says there's no such thing as Middle Child Syndrome doesn't understand what we're really going through, or had parents who truly cared for each child equally... There is such a thing, it just doesn't apply to each family.

Name: Lily
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Im a middle child with an older sister and a yonger brother my parents adore my siter who is three years older than me because she is really smart and skipped a grade she is also really pretty then my brother thet think is really cute he never gets in trouble and gets a lot of attention because he has a learning disabilty I just get ignored it gets annoying somtimes but I also like to be by myself it is more peaceful without my siblings

Name: Yvonne
Country: Australia
Comment:
I am the fourth of 8 children so I would be classed as a middle child. I think being a middle child is great. Perhaps in a larger family it might be different, but I believe that because you have less expectations placed on you, you develop into a more independant, self reliant individual. I find I am more understanding and less needy than my older siblings and can relate to people better. Yes I had hand-me-downs but at least I had a good home and was fed and looked after and know I was loved. I find I'm less materialistic, less stressed about problems and don't blame my parents for my own imperfections. I am a mother of 7 and my eldest is nearly 17. He drives me insane, complains about everything and doesn't think he has enough of anything, whereas my middle children are easygoing and can entertain and amuse themselves. I try to give them all a bit of attention each because they are all very special. Yes my middle son does get his brother's off casts, but he also has his own special things. Being a middle child is easier because your older siblings have already paved the way for you to do things. And you can blame your younger siblings for heaps!!!

Name: seza
Country: Australia
Comment:
I have had no idea about MIDDLE CHILD syndrome having only a twin sister until i became a mother of 3 young children ages 4 & 1/2 just turned 3 & 10 months and its is a night mare really! I am trying to share myself equally It is very hard because the baby needs constant attention and the eldest is our only boy and the MIDDLE child is craving attention and she receives so much negativity from me without me sometimes noticing until i reflect on my day at the end of the night. I see the typical stereotype of MIDDLE CHILD Syndrome in her already & its just the beginning of her life! Ive promised myself that i am going to try my hardest to break that stereotype so she doesn't feel the way some of people feel in the comments that Ive read tonight! I used to introduce her to people as a rat bag or run a muck now i say she is just full of spirit! I also have put her into a full day of day care by herself so she can learn to be independent and not rely on her older brother & she has become very confident i also try to set a side a time of night when i tell her i love her & she is special! It became about when she said to me one night that i hate her It broke my heart she is only 3!!! So i am trying to change this & be aware of my actions i think it is very sad when a mother doesn't at some stage reflect on how she treats her children & try 2 change the things that may need changing? I hope my daughter doesn't grow up as a middle child & writes some of the things that i have read on this web site tonight! If there are any mothers reading this its never to late to change how we treat and differentiate our children. They are all special individuals!

Name: Bea
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
Everyone is talking like being a middle child is the worst. I enjoy and embrace the fact that im a middle child. It taught me to be more independent as when the focus was on my siblings I was free to explore my individuality and rebel against the status quo and push boundaries, also i left home at 16 but at still see my family regularly. Also i believe being a middle child has made me more relaxed, empathetic and down to earth than my siblings who are more concerned with the affluence and wealth we were brought up with. I am well balanced and both academic (i am studying at university and have always excelled) and creative(a budding artists and grade 6 pianist guitarist violinist and cellist). Middle children have the best position in the birth order.

Name: middle child
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
i am a middle child, i am ignored my little brother gets whatever he wants when he wants it and gets the attention all the time 24/7. and my older sister is very independent but the "perfect child" she's beautiful, athletic, has a boyfriend, tons a friends, good grades, ect. me, im just ignored most the time and recieve mean comments from my parents like " you should try and loose 10 pounds" i hate life

Name: Middle child
Country: Malaysia
Comment:
I'm also the middle child in my family. My elder sis doesnt have to do any house chores and my mum is fine with it. Similarity with my younger sis. But I have to do the house chores. When I didnt, I will get blamed, scolded for that. My sisters get what they want but I always very difficult to get what I want eventhough I have tried hard to help my mum. All my helps are worthless and meaningless to her. If I voice out my unfairness to my mum, I will get scolded for being the worst nighmare/child for her. I always think am I that bad?

Name: middle child
Country: Other
Comment:
i have am a middle child aswell. i have an older sister and a younger sister. my little sister gets away with anything and my big sister can do whatever she wants as she is the oldest! both my sisters are treated different. they all have after school clubs and hobbies. they say i have no talent so i dont get to have a club to go to. its not fair. middle child syndrome is real!

Name: Mommy who cares
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I am a mother of two boys and a step mother of one! The oldest is my stepson, the middle is my first son, and the youngest is my second child. It does seem unfair at times that our middle child is not treated fairly, and this he has told us over and over. But take it from me, we adore him just as mush as the other two. I feel bad for him at times and realize I am wrong at times and I do apologize to him. I love him just the same and always will! I need help too! I need advice on how to be a little easier on him.

Name: Middle Child
Country: Other
Comment:
I am a mmiddle child and I think parents do subonciously give more attention too my elder sister and younger brother, my brother is both the baby and the only boy, my sister is only 18 months older then me but she is allowed to do thinks like go out with her friends that I am not allowed to do, she does not want to do these things and is a laterdeveloper then me, my parents think it is strange that I want to do things that my sister has never wanted to do and are constantly telling me "Your sister was so much easier at your age, she never wanted to do that kind of thing."

Name: thirdandfourteen
Country: Singapore
Comment:
im 14 and i have three sisters - one is 21, one is 18 and one is 10. #1 is perfect,#2 is still alright, musically inclined, and always getting along with everyone and #4 is the smart one, in a gifted education program [nationwide program]. my big sis gets new stuff, my little sis gets new stuff, my 2nd sis occasionally gets new stuff,and i ALWAYS get hand me downs. in my family, i dont fit in-my parents are busy with my little sis, and my older sisters are usually together, and im usually alone in my room.its quite a plus point,since i sometimes need my quiet time.but other times, i feel really lonely.plus,im small for my age-short and skinny. if any of them messes up, i always have to take the blame. as a girl, people dont usually think i'd get hit or whipped. but i have.in fact, my second sister has only been whipped once. as for me, ive been whipped and hit alot.there was once my mom threw a really thick dictionary.there's still a scar where it hit my face. MCS still has its good side.im creative and arts inclined, and art soothes me.im also independent and i tend to be able to learn real fast. there was this time it was terrible and i started cutting myself and became anorexic.but im alright now,thanks to friends. it's tough, but i hope itll turn okay

Name: Joseph Prayer
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I get sick of being the middle child, my older brother do watever he want, my younger brother always get away with everything. If me and my little brother get into a arguement i get blame for it even tho it wasnt my fault. I hate so much. If i make plans and i already got the ok i can do it, than at the last minute my brotha say he want to do something, so i have to stay and watch my lil brotha that is so unfair. Bad thing about it i dont even think they care how i feel. I be feeling like am in my own world and it hurt.

Name: the classic middle child
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
i am so sick of being the middle child. my oldest sister does whatever she wants and never gets in trouble and my younger sister again does whatever she wants and NEVER GETS IN TROUBLE i hate it so much... my family could careless what happens to me no matter what... i get no attention and no matter how well on do in school or what achievements i make it doesn't make a difference. one time i said do you really want me to leave and i was told there's the door. but then my little sister threatened to leave and my mother like flipped out... and speaking of her she is in denial... i have tried so hard to convince her that middle child syndrome is real and she is ignoring me and then has the nerve to tell me that i get more done for me than anyone else and that i am the most favored child... i really don't agree that the parent pays more attention to the child that is most like them because if that was true my mother wouldn't take her eyes off me...we are the same exact person accept i am an adolescent and you would think because she was a middle child and went through this she wouldn't want to do this to her own child but oh yea that's completely wrong. i don't know what is going to happen to me or if this is going to get worse... this isn't right :(

Name: Middle Aged Middle child
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
As I am writing this I understand how each and every one of you posters here feels. I am a middle child with 3 brothers and 3 sisters. I am now 53 years old and been there done that with the loner years. I continue to be a loner now, by choice, because I've returned to school and I am heavily involved in sports activities related to my job. I had the overachieving big brothers and sisters growing up. I longed to be just like them. Then all of a sudden as we grew older the younger one all started doing these great achievements in school. Me, I didn't achieve anything barely finishing high school. As I grew older, the siblings continued their overachieving ways garnering great educational honors in college and in their professions. Me, I couldn't stay focused long enough to center on a career. Now I am coming into middle age and now I am the overachiever. I am presently going to grad school at age 53, I am one of the top senior athletes in the nation and I did this being a middle child. You see now I am well on my way to being better than my 6 siblings ever were or are at my age. The moral of this story? Don't feel bad being a middle child. Don't let your mind tell you that you are not good enough because you are a middle child. My mind told me that for years until I realized in my middle ages that I am good enough. I am not the exception, if I can do it anybody can. Do not let MCS hold you back from anything in life.

Name: monik
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I too am a middle child, and yes, there are many disadvantages. Being the third of five children, I was always too young to play with the older kids and felt too old to laugh at the stupid jokes of my younger siblings. Yes, I felt left out and most of the time stuck to my room whereas my school life was very social. I'm only 16, so I don't know much, but now I am DELIGHTED that I'm a middle child. Being a teenager, I need my own space, and receiving very limited attention, my parents leave me to my room. My best friend too is the third of five and we both agree, there is no better position. Not only do we learn to be almost completely independent by seeking attention away from our families, but because of our abilities to adapt as and older child or younger child, we get a healthy dose of holding responsibilities and being dependent. I suppose age difference matters too. Now that my older sisters are off in college, I have assumed the role of the oldest child, taking on more responsibilities than I was ever prepared to do. But on their visits back home, I can relate more to what they went through and again, I can be a younger child, void of doing chores or being present at the dinner table. I've been reading all the comments from fellow middle children and I agree with each and every one of them. My older and younger sisters are middle children too and constantly we are compared to our perfect oldest sister who went to Berkeley and is now on full scholarship at Stanford (joy, I know). We are very proud of her and very happy for her. We just hate it when she and our parents shove it in our faces. But also look at it from their points of views. My oldest sister has never had the opportunity to call a room her own. Always she had to share. And my brother, the baby of the family, has four older sisters to surpass. But because I was raised as a middle child, I'm quite confident I'll be able to live on my own, whether with many roommates or by myself. Actually, I thank God I was born a middle child, having a balance of different traits. In all honesty, I would NEVER want to be born the youngest, you would be raised to be so dependent on others. Bleh.

Name: geralyn lacson
Country: Philippines
Comment:
yes, middle child may be a syndrome... it could be very depressing especially the idea on how to balance things out with older and younger siblings plus parents with so much expectations.like in my case, it was differrent.as a middle child i had more responsibilities than my older& younger sister. my siblings has always the excuses why they can't do this and do that.but this is just the negative side of everything... the positive side is...we're challenge to equilibrize things.we get more mature and knowledgeable because of our experiences. it's not something to be shameful of. it's something we can shout and tell everyone in the world that we survive with your pressures!!!

Name: Cooper
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
being a middle child myself i feel that MCS is a real problem...by the way i'm 13 you see i have an older(16) and a younger brother(8) and they both Do get more attention because the older one is the achiever and the younger one is not the brightest lightbulb in the bunch! then theres little old me that doesn't fit the discription of older or younger so i'm stuck in the middle!!! MCS has effects on people and they are terrable! like when you are all shy and also you dont like interacting with others or you act out to get noticed! these are only a few there are plenty more!!

Name: tj
Country: Jordan
Comment:
I suffer from all the effects of being a middle child except I am not a loner other than that i am definitley suffering from the middle child syndrome. I ALWAYS get blamed for what my brother does and whenever we go up to visit my family my older sister and younger brother always are the ones that get that get bragged on. But not me! whatever... after 15 years i think i'm kinda getting used to it.... not willingly though:(

Name: Caroline
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I am a middle child and I'm actually looking into MCS because I was curious as to the psychological affect being the middle child has on a person...well evidently there's a syndrome already...anyhow....I"m a big time loner just like every other one of us...I used to shut myself in my room every day after highschool and read. People called me contraroline when I was little because I always argued or just did what I wanted regardless of what I was told. I'm not quite sure why this syndrome actually occurs because in reality it shouldn't really be that different from child to child....I know my parents love us all equally...I have an older sister and younger brother....but at the same time I feel like they really don't like me but no matter how awful my other siblings are....I'm still the bad one. it's awful. It's so hard. It's so depressing to live with your parents and feel like they don't want you. It's terrible

Name: Derrine
Country: Dominica
Comment:
I am the middle child of 3. I have a older sister who's 5 years older than me, and alittle brother who's 2 years younger than me. My sister is the over acheiver and my brother is the baby (enough said) about him. Being a middle child does have its advantages because were in the middle. We're good at solving arguments cause we see both sides of the picture, and we're very talented. Dont think so hard on compition or competing with the oldest cause they always will win, (you know this) and the youngest dont argue with your parents. Just ask them to put more pictures of you out in the open, and dont be afraid to ask your parents for a day, including just you and them.

Name: Tdoc
Country: Canada
Comment:
I am a middle child of 3 sisters. My mother acts very affectionately toward her first born, but abusively to me and my younger sister The first born has successfully built a happy family life of her own, married to a wealthy man. I and my younger sister has spent most of our life struggling with depression, and currently treated for the PTSD. I don't know if it has anything to do with the birth order, but my mother, who is a fairly neurotic type to begin with, seems to have used up all the affection she could muster on the first born.

Name: Angry middle child syndrome sufferer
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I'm am ten years old. I'm left out and under appriciated!My mom is allways pointing the finger at me, because she only beleives my bro'. I think she only loves my brother and sister.I hate my family. I can't have he thing that I have always wanted, because of my stupid sisters nurse. Everybody hates me! Its nothing but lies my mother tells me,lies lies and more lies!!!

Name: middle
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
middle child is different we usually have deeper thoughts, with all our alone time. but we crave attention so whenever u can, steal the show

Name: yes those symptoms are mine....
Country: South Africa
Comment:
Having read what is said about the middle child, I have to agree that I (as much as I don't want to admit this) do have all the "symptoms".... I am a loner, and hate the limelight. I am what one would term "arty", but have trouble finishing projects unless I'm forced, eg. assignments which HAVE to be in - but I hate to be pressurised. Writing is my forte, as I don't have any problem with expressing myself on paper.And yes, my husband is a last born, which apparently is the best match for a middle child. Wow. And I thought this "middle-child" stuff was made up by those who are not middle kids!!

Name: roxy
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
i would luv to be the middel child am an only child my mum dose spoil me a lot but it would be nice to have a sister to talk to and to look up to me

Name: ashley
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
i dont mind be a only child because my mum spend alot of time with me because my two sisters are living on thier own and my litel sister is hopeless and she dose her own thing so she need me the most so i am more of the oldest am more resposbel

Name: Caroline
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
ps. I just want to add that ive spent the last half hour reading everyone elses comments and there's some really comforting words there. I'm finding all this quite theraputic and it's making me feel much better about the situation. To the sad comments ie James from Oz and Mike who's 26, I hope you take comfort too in all these comments and start believing in yourself, even if you think no one else does. In the end, only you can control your thoughts and feelings about yourself and I think every decent human being deserves to feel good about themselves, no matter what others' opinions are. They're only opinions, they may be wrong! And we are not defined by what others may think!! Like my brother- although I may display some MCS characteristics, how dare he decide that thats who I am! I am much more than that. And maybe we wouldn't have MCS if it were'nt for the self-righteous older sibling soaking up all the glory and our expense! Anyway, I don't want to go on like a bitter old cow, I love my brother and I just want him to respect me and think I'm a great person- just the way everyone thinks that of him and he thinks of himself. Phew, thanks and sorry for ranting.

Name: Caroline
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I was at a family event on Saturday evening there where I was having a good laugh with my older brother and younger sister. However, at one point my brother came out with "it's a shame, you are the classic middle child". I was a bit taken back and defended myself without being aggressive, almost joking with him that I thought he was wrong. This has played on my mind since then, I am annoyed he has judged me and am annoyed that he thinks that of me. So this morning I googled middle child syndrome and I'm afraid to say I do identify with the discription. I don't want to feel like this though. I want my brother to respect me and not condescend me. Afterall, as a fully grown women now I have 2 sons, am a teacher of special needs and am a valid member of the family. Yet I now know that my brother still thinks of me as the rebellious, dramatic teenager I once was. Does anyone have any positive advice for me? I'm too embarrassed to discuss this topic with anyone I know. Thanks.

Name: Lonley Middle child
Country: Canada
Comment:
Hey there, I have an older brohter and a younger sister. My parents always seem to fuss over them and I feel like i'm always left in the dark. My brother has my Dad's support over everything and my sister has my Mom's. So whenever I need someone I turn to my husband becauuse I cannot count on either one of my parents. It hurts sometimes but over the years i've learned how to deal with it. I now have 2 kids of my own and i don't intend on having any more because I don't want any of my kids to feel neglected or not loved. I love them both equally and that's the way it will always be. One thing for sure is that I'm a very indepentant and confident person :-)

Name: i just want to be hear
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Hey i am a middle child and i'm 15 a/b to be 16. I have a older sister whos 17 and a younger brother whos 9. In my household i am not hear. i help my parents w/ everything. Cleaning, yard work, i get A's in skool and i not notice. When i have a problem and i go to talk to my mom she is ethier on the phone or she just doesn't want to listen. then i call my grandmother and i ask her for her advice and she is a person that i can talk to and she want tell anyone. Sometimes i think she should have been my mom. but anyway my mom gets mad when she hears i have told my nana thing that have happen in my life. but what i am i to do. My sister is captain of colorguard and i mad it this year and she treathens me teling me that she will make me run at practice if i do something to her at home. My brother is annoying like any little sibling is but i just can't take thing that he says or does. I use to be the baby then my parents had him. and me and my sister have some of the same friends and everywhere i go w/ a friend she will go. and i just want my space. I could tell you stories where i have been hurt and my parents and siblings don't care. All i have is my room and my music. Yeah maybe i get what i want like when we go to the store but what i really want is just to be shown love and that they care about just as much or even more then my siblings.

Name: Middle Child
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
OMG! Once at school We had a group discussion about order of birth. I heard the oldest children complain about being the one in charge of taking care of the younger chidren. I heard the yougest child complain about being treated like a baby. I heard the only child complain about being lonely. But the middle child, which I am, would love to be treated any of these above ways. Instead we are ignored and forgotten. Seroiusly your not the oldest smart beautiful angel nor the innocent sweet baby. You're basically nothing! My bother would get extra attention on his studies because he is young and needs everyones help. My big sister could make a C and get hugs& money for a week. I made straight A's my whole life and I think no one has still never noticed. Oldest gets new clothes, baby gets new clothes, middle gets what no one else needs anymore. Now this is just in my family! Everyone has different experiences. Don't think I'm overesagarating, I swear. I could tell you story that would make your mouth drop, stories you'd have to see to beleive. I was treated not just different, but more like non-existing. No need in complaining now. I'm thankful I experienced and still to this day at the age of 25 is still experiencing the Middle Child Sydrome, now I know how not to treat my middle child. And with the insite of other people, I also know how not to treat my other two. Everyone will be treated equal and fair. My disisions will not be based on age EVER!

Name: Ms. Diane
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I am the middle child, with an older sister,who became disabled later in life and a younger sister who died in infancy. My parents' expectations were that each of us should grow and develop to reach our fullest individual potential. Respect,rust, understanding and love are the keys to building a strong foundation for every child. Everyone of us deserves to be an independant learner. If you feel that others are holding you back, then take control of your thoughts, your lives, and build a positive future. Life changes may make you an only child, are you ready? The future only comes to us one day at a time, it is up to you to make a positve change! Who told you, you could quit?

Name: 3rd Child Symdrom
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
i have a new philosophy about it the middle child is fine the only people that complain here are the people who have bad family lives and want a scapegoat (something to blame on) for it im sure there is a blog page for oldest and youngest aswell. but actually its the 3rd child that suffers as they are always stupider than their siblings actually. KEEP IT UNREAL

Name: Sophie
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
Omg! i had a full day today of what its realy like to be a middle child. No one ever apriciates what you do and no matter how hard you try...no one ever will ! im always striving to get my parents attention, but it never works. There to busy bothering with my two brothers. The fact is nothing gets done if you bottle it up inside..i found out that u have to talk about your parents about it, i did and my mum actually arranged for us yo go shopping next week. I know its only a little thing, but it helps you feel more involved, and not so left out and shunned away.

Name: Ceara Nellson
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I'm a youngest child with two middle children for parents. Lucky me. Middle children everywhere-GET OVER IT.You are what you make yourself. The "poor me" thing gets to be a real drag real fast. Trust me, I grew up surrounded with it.

Name: Amanda
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Im a middle child too and all i can say is that my older sister whose 16 is the "perfect child" my little sister is 9 and she gets anything because shes the "baby" and me im 14 wut do i get? i get yelled at, bad grades, disappointed looks, ignored, forgotton, shuned and its not to fun to be a middle child. i think all us middle children have it the worse i mean people have written books bout being the middle child how we are ignored cuz we r. but we live with it. im the one always getting in trouble too!and my mom evn asked me y i cant be like my sister? im like cause im not her! but people say we are the disappointment child because mayb we are we do mess up at lots of things but not on purpose u no? so in conclusion the oldest=perfect middle="ignored" youngest="the baby"

Name: James
Country: Australia
Comment:
Hi. My name is James. I'm a middle child. Life is thw worst. SInce my older brother is the oldest he gets everything he wants and the most attention. My younger brother gets everything he wants too and everyone wants to play with him. But me? I'm all by my self being yelled at and forgotten.

Name: Jackie
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
By the way, "Loven to be in the middle." you said your brother likes to pick random fights with you. My brother does the exact same thing except it's more verbal. I'm not sure what to do either. I tried slapping him around a little, not the best idea since my parents treat him as the baby. Now I just take it and pretend to shrug it off. I think what you should do is have a serious talk with your parents or your brother about it and see what happens.

Name: Jackie
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
The middle child syndrome is totally real. I'm a middle child. My sister is two years older and my brother is four years younger. My sister is always smart, cooler, and prettier. She gets to boss me around whenever she wants and she always thinks she can solve conflicts between me and my brother by just taking his side and insulting me with things like, "nobody loves you" and "this family would have been better without you." Yeah, my parents put a lot of pressure on her, but she gets more praise and freedom for it. My brother is the baby and he gets way too much freedom. He's never been forced to play sports or join teams and has since become a huge lazy wimp. My sister and I always end up doing all the chores because my brother has never learned them or he throws a fit and leaves them undone (in which case us girls get in trouble). He really pisses me off and I take out my anger at him, kinda trying to make up for what my parents don't do. For some reason, my family, grandparents included, think that anytime I tell him something I'm being unfair and they all gang up on me for it. I don't see why my sister, 2 years older than me, can boss me around, but I can boss my brother, 4 years younger, around sometimes. My younger brother also has decided to degrade me constantly. Everytime he sees me he says "you're stupid" or "you're ugly" or "no one likes you." Or anytime I comment on anything being stupid or ugly or retarded he says "just like you." My parents don't respond to that at all, but if I say anything like that, I'll get yelled at. I'm a really reclusive person, not really independent at all. I usually sit in my room with my music or paint pictures or draw. My parents are really supportive of my art. That's one thinf I feel good about. I used to play soccer, too, but I was following in my sister's footsteps. The problem with that was when I wanted to stop, my parents wanted me to keep going. It happens with everything. I like to be by myself and just meditate. My mom takes that as a sign of depression - which it proabably is - so she forces me into things. There is a good side of being a middle child. I get more trust from my parents. For example, after school I'll just decide to go downtown with friends and I'll call my mom and say I'm doing drugs and she totally laugh it off. I'm not a druggy, in fact I've never done any or had any beer. I don't plan too, either. I wish there was a cure for this, like my parents had another child. That way, my brother could feel what I feel. I can't wait to get out of the house and be on my own.

Name: Loven to be in the Middle
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I am a middle child. Older sister of 20. Im 15. My younger brother is 13. I have always received equal love and treatment from my parents. My sister was always the helper she would clean with my mom and cook and do everything my mother told her to. She did average in school, excelling especially with her creative side. She always felt the pressure of being the older one. She does everything my mom tells her to because she fears dissappointing her. She goes to community college because my mom couldnt let go. I was always the over acheiver. Always at the top of my class. School came easy to me. I was known as funny and among my cousins i was everyones best friend. We have a very close family. Cousins were like best friends. Aunts like second moms. The family knows me as the smart one. My mother and father always praised me for my acheivements. They praise all of us whenever we do something good. Although soetimes i need to point out one of my acheivments my mother always got really happy when i'd tell her i've acheived something or something great has happened to me. Then theres my brother. At young ages we got along, fought like usual brothers and sisters do but we played a lot. I think my sister felt left out with us, but she never said nething. Once my brother started getting older like 12, we began having too many fights, it started happeneing daily with one of us ending up in tears eith because of emotional or physical damage. I knew it wasnt normal. He became very emotional and would cry it seeed like everyday. He randomly would pick a fight with me just to fight. I continue to tell him that i am to old for this fighting. I am a young lady and he is a young man we cannot physical fight nemore. He doesnt know his own strength., I am still stronger than him but he uses all his might where as i only use half. I think he picks these fights to show he is stronger. I dont know how to mke him stop. What should i do?

Name: Theresa
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
im a middle child my parents HATE me they say i have bad friends and i get into way to much trouble i do all the chores in the family my younger and older brother just sit and play video games and tehre r mor eproblems in my life that im getting over that my parents dotn even care about . they hope i go to juivey. and a never come back one day ive done some bad stuff in my life to myself ive hurt myself too. im really sick of parents being a jerk they never listen they treat me with disrespect and make fun of me & my friends all the time They need to learn how to be parents while with my brothers im like the bigger kid cuz both of my brothers are like autistic im the normal one but i never get treated like it my brotehrs treat me like crap too . i do everythign just to try to be perfect but my parents just get mad its tuff for middle kids sometimes i heard from middle kids suicdal thoughts go around in there head i have thought of it too .

Name: Abbie
Country: Aland Islands
Comment:

Name: Im a Middle Child...
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I had a pleasant experiance being the middle child. I always had a playmate and also someone to boss around. I am in the middle of a family of 8. I never suffered being in the position that God put me.

Name: confused unhappy middle child
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
i hate being the middle i feel like i have to live up to everything my older sister does or if i dnt my parents seem disapointed in me and constantly compare wat i do to her i love my paretns they are amaizing however i still cant help feeling deprived of there attention my little sister is only young therefore she needs attention and everything my older sister does is new to my parents therefore they have a keen interest in what she does and then when i do it its not new to them anymore therefore i doesnt seem as important to them this makes me feel less important and that what i do is just something that my sister has already done i want to do something different but its like everything i want to do in life my sister has already done. i wanted to go in the army at 1 point so that i could just get away from my family also this would b sumfinnew however mym parents didnt like the idea so it defeated my object of trying to do something new i want to go to college and university but if i dnt do aswell as my sister its almost like i hav failed no matter how well i fink ive done is there any way i can overcome theses feelings? i tried telling my mum how i felt but my older sister jus got involved as she does she tries butting into everything in my life i sometimes feel like harming my self so tht it diverts my sad unhappy feelings into pain it helps but thn i fink self harming is wrong is there anything else i can do to stop these feelings? wb confused unhappy middle child x x x

Name: Bernadine
Country: Other
Comment:

Name: middle one
Country: India
Comment:
hi sad thing about being middle one is u have to share each and everything between older and youunger. older bcz she is older and younger bcz he is younger. i never has something my own

Name: J.L
Country: Other
Comment:
I sympathise with you, I'm not a middle child I'm the oldest of two; I think it‘s odd that a lot of the research on oldest children seems to be about the oldest of three or more. I have friends that fall into the same category as me and we all seem to be in the same situation - our parents hold us to the requirements of older children (a lot of responsibilities, requirement to succeed, expected to achieve things that the youngest is praised for...) but treat us like middle children in that it is the youngest that gets the majority of the attention. My parents are quite happy for my sister to fail her exams but I have to finish the year with at least six A stars, when I complain I’m told that it’s because of her age and that my exams will effect my future whereas hers won’t but at her age I was grounded for getting a B in English. My dad is sympathetic and tries to make sure that he pays attention to me, (he was the fourth of six and was brought up by a single parent so knows what it’s like to be over looked) but as for my mom (she was the youngest of three but the age difference meant she was brought up as an only child) she rarely seems to notice I exist, my little sister is treated like a princess and is pampered and praised for achieving things far below the minimum expectations my parents have for me, she also has similar privileges to mine but far less responsibilities. There must be some advantages to being a middle child, for example because my parents often over look me and expect me to conform I can get away with things more easily. I think I’d like to have an older sibling and until my sister hit about twelve I didn’t really mind having a younger sibling; I really wouldn’t enjoy being in the position of a youngest or only child as I don’t think I could cope with being the centre of attention all of a sudden or my parents being as focused on me as they are on my younger sister.

Name: middle child
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
im a middle child of two brothers i alaways get in trouble with everything they do i feel like im unloved sometimes so if u think we get it easy your very very wrong

Name: Eleanor
Country: Aland Islands
Comment:

Name: Suicidal
Country: Canada
Comment:
I really hate being the middle child. My mom is so favouritist it isn't funny and my dad is the pnly one who makes me happy. My three brothers are annoying, stuck-up and abusive and i'm always getting slapped around or told off. I swear the only thing keeping me from insanity is my dad.

Name: middle child
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
wat were all trying 2 say here is that we dont get the attention we deserve

Name: Alden
Country: Aland Islands
Comment:

Name: mirbella
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
im a middle child middle im 14 its not easy beng the middle child cuz im always getting ignored except wen im in trouble my parents never listen 2 anything i have 2 say i have 1 big sister and she gets attention cuz shes the oldest and shes also little miss perfect i have a little brother who guts spoiled cuz hes the only boy and my little sister gets spoiled cuz shes the youngest she gets away with everything and every time i tell my mom that i feel left out she gets mad and my little brother and big sister r always picking on me but hey theres nothin can i do about it

Name:
Country: India
Comment:
my sis middle child atenchen secker tell me y

Name: left out
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I am a middle child and i feel like i don't belong. i always feel left out and down!

Name: stuck in the middle
Country: Cyprus
Comment:
everyone thinks it's easy being a middle child but its not! I have 1 youger brother and two older sisters! me and 1 of my sisters are the middle childs! I find it hard because when ever we are fighting I always seem to get blamed. I feel like i don't belong and that know body cares. My oldest sister get lots of attention because she ispicking a university to go to and my little brother just gets most attention just because he's small. and me and my other sister are just left to blend into the background!

Name: Being the middle child isnt that great
Country: New Zealand
Comment:
I'm 10 and in the middle of 3 girls I feel that I don't get that much atention. My older sis always picks on me, my lil sis is really spiolt and always gets what she wants. I never get my way and I think everyone tries to anoy me+my older sis is 17 going 18 and my lil sis is 8.

Name: MIDDLE CHILD
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I am 14 and the middle of 3 girls. My older sis is 16 and my younger is 6. I feel i have to try hard to be noticed and i get blamed for everything. The only time i get noticed is when i'm in trouble (usually when i'm getting the blame 4 something i haven't done) or when i'm really down. I was really happy when there was just me n my older sis because i was the youngest and got attention and i was close 2 my older sis then. When my little sis was a baby, it wasn't too bad. But now she's older she gets most of the attention and can get away with murder! When i'm older, i'm only going to have 2 kids coz i no what it feels like to be in the middle-HELL!

Name: Marie
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I hate being the middle child. My older sis is only 1 school year older. But yet when it comes to anything like exam results when she acheived she was congratulated. But obviously any exam I took was a year after her and the hype had all worn off. Same with being born. My older sis has albums of pics of her from 0 - 3 years. I have just about 6 pic to my name from the age 0 -3. My younger sis is 8 years younger than me so once again loads of baby/toddler pics. My younger sis is smothered as is my older although my mum has always told me i am the independent one. I feel like I was forced into being this. My older sis and my mum get on very well, there very similar. This doesn't help as it makes me feel more left out. Mum has a very strong bond with my older sis, think cause shes the oldest. My mum is always very quick to stand up 4 my older sis clearly cause she thinks my older sis is the most vunerable (maybe cause shes petite as well) mums very protective of her. Yet my mum always says bad things about me. I've been brought up being told im my dads favorite and my older sis is my mums favorite( my dad says my mum favours older sis my mum says my dad favours me). When ur told things enough u believe it. I feel like my mum dont care half as much about me and although personality wise i get on well with my dad hes always at work, plus his betrayed me a lot so I dont feel like i can trust anyone but my younger sis. As my mum has clearly favoured maybe preferred my older sisters company, I have always been the first one she blames for everything (maybe cause theres only 1 school year between us) I have grown up being as independent as poss! I am clearly the negotiator in the family and hate rows yet its made mr vunerable in any relationships ive had as i put up with more than i should. Plus I have always lacked confidence and felt insignificant. I craved attention when i was younger to the point where i totally rebelled to be noticed. My status then went from being ignored and betrayed to being "the naughty one" and betrayed. I would never have more than 2 kids as a result of this and would never reccommend being the middle child. Its (amongst other things) given me huge issues with communication ( maybe cause i hid behind my sisters a lot) and also self confidence.

Name: the upside
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I am a middle child as well and I have a lot of the common characteristics of middle children. As a young child I was very upset by the way I was treated as a middle child. I was constantly frustrated by not being old enough to do the the things my older sister was allowed to do. My younger sister was babied by my parents because she was well-the baby. I always felt like the black sheep of the family. It bothered me that there weren't as many family photo's of me as there were of my sisters. But I want to be very clear on something. MCS is not something we middle children are born with. It's not a disease or a disorder. A lot of people on this link have written things that bemoan their state without ever looking at the cause. We are all products of our raising, from the first born to the last. Our personalities are all affected by the way our parents raise us and by the relationships we share with our siblings. I know first hand that it is especially hard to hear this as a young person but all birth orders come with their pitfalls and advantages. No one ever mentions that middle children are likely to be very intelligent, resiliant, social people. middle children learn to keep peace in relationships which is a valuable tool as an adult. It's not all bad. Its how you choose to play the cards your dealt.

Name: middle child
Country: Jamaica
Comment:
being the middle child is hard my older sis 16, is the my moms fav also like my sis 10, she cares for them alot when i ask for something i get yelled at and when my sis's ask they get it, i dont understand why being the middle child can effect u in so many ways.

Name: Gabriel
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Well I live with a younger sister and a older 6 and 16 the youngest one is spoiled and gets everything she wants and my older sister is like the perfect one the one everyone like and on top of that i am the only boy so MCS does exsist and it not fair for those who lives it

Name: sixth child of nine
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I believe there is a MCS,OCS,YCS, and about everything in between. However, many of the problems mentioned are mentioned in any category. Make sure you are not confusing other factors (such as your personality, demeanor, emotions, charcteristics, and other things that contribute to your make-up) in your frustrations. OCS and YCS have many of the same issues, and as frequently as many of you have mentioned. Such as family isolation, being left out, blamed for everything, mistreatment, ect. Being the oldest, middle, or youngest, does effect who you are and your make-up. However, we can not blame everything that goes on directly to our placement within the family. I have chosen not to expect anything from any member of my family, including fair treatment. Being beaten severly in my childhood (much worse than my siblings) I habor no hardness toward my parents. While raising my own three children I did my best to eliminate the effects of MCS, OCS, and YCS. However, a parent can only do so much, the siblings set much of it themselves and I could only minimize the effects. I have talked to them many times about how their placement within the family has effected their own personalities so they are aware of it. Good luck dealing with your issues, I feel free not harboring cancerous hardnesses.

Name: laura
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
i am 13 years old and i am the middle child. i hate being the middle child because my younger sister gets away with everything and my older sister is the perfect child in my parents eyes. i really think there is some thing called middle child sydrome because i live it. i would never make some1 be a middle child because their life would be horrible like mine.

Name: Daniel
Country: Canada
Comment:
I'm the middle child of 3. I have an older sister thats 16 and a younger brother that is 6. I feel left out. What can i do?

Name: Megan130
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Glad I read some of these. I have 2 boys and expecting the 3rd. I came from a family of 3 and didn't really see the MCS I don't think. Personally being the oldest I felt the middle and youngest (both boys and me a girl) got away with everything!!! My parents still help take care of the youngest, and middle one is probably the most solid out of us all! I get along great with parents now but when I was younger I think I was the worst one and the boys were a cake walk. But I will try very very very hard to make sure all my boys are loved equally!

Name: Hiroshima
Country: Turkey
Comment:
I'm the middle of 3 brothers. I can say that I had really hard time growing up. I was always the proplem child among 3. And today, while checking a slang dictionary, I just saw the word "Ahnpakatanakiwuzhiner". It perfectly defines me. Hadn't heard about this before but according to the definiton, middle male children of 3 children families usually behave strange and are intelligent. I don't know where this word comes from and I can only find it in a few other dictionaries all giving the same definiton but not telling the origins of the word. I would like to learn more about it.

Name: Christina
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
Personally I have had a different experience being a middle child. I am the fourth child of a family of 6. My parents had a hard time raisng my three older brothers. My brothers were irresponsible and impulsive. I am the first girl of three girls. I had to take the role of "mom" while my mom wasn't home. I'd cook and clean for my older brothers, I was about 8 or 9 years. Then to top it off I was "left in charge" when they were out. It felt good knowing that they trust me mmore than my 15 year old brothers. On the other hand I was pressured to grow up too soon. Parents need to think about the responsibility they are putting on a child and how it can affect them before they do anything.

Name: An asian guy
Country: Malaysia
Comment:
I realised that some middle child might be get the best of both worlds. In my opinion, as a middle child, one of my parent take me as granted as the other one don't communicate with me much... Getting into trouble when the younger one did something wrong, gets bullied by the older one as she bullies me. Sometimes both of them even "plot" against me as both of them are sisters. Other than that the family condition in my family is bad, I have issues with my mother, my dad don't talk much, both of them are like that, and I really have some problems in school as i was treated so badly at home. I agree with one of the comments that we, middle child shouldn't just let it go.

Name: caught in the middle
Country: turkey
Comment:
I'm 26 years old.I'm a middle child.It's interesting that I've just learned yesterday,there is something called MCS.I've a sister 8 years older than me,and another sister 3 years younger than me.Being a middle child effected me in a way that,I should always be the PERFECT ONE.Now in this age I try to solve my feelings about being perfect.I was always in need of being loved.I think MCS hits middle ones especially about "love" issue.

Name: c
Country: usa
Comment:
well im the middle child out of 7 i have three older sisters and three younger sisters and i always feel left out .. even though we are all so close sometimes it feels like they pair up like the two oldest and then the third oldest with the one younger than me and that leaves me out in the cold with no one because all of them have a partner even the little ones .......

Name: hi
Country: india
Comment:
the other siblings felt special

Name: Karyna Gonzalez
Country: USA
Comment:
I am a middle child also. I have to say that it can be a cool thing. My father has a large family and we have started a middle kid organization within our family. We now have sections and chapters. We kind of got together and started talking about our similarities and now we are so close that we have beecome the support we have felt we nevr had. we are in USA and MEXICO

Name: Ann
Country: USA
Comment:
I am a middle child and I do believe in middle child syndrome. My brother was the oldest, then there was me and then my sister came along. My parents always helped and listed to my brother and my little sister, to this day, is their pride and job. My brother was killed in an accident in 1978 and to this day I am still treated the same. They act like I don't exist. I am 43 years old and I am on my second marriage. I have their only 2 grandchildren and they still give my sister everything she wants. She has no kids, the big house and new cars. They best of everything. My parents and I had a falling out about 3 weeks ago because I got tired of being shut out. My parents gave my sister money for a down payment on the house and money for the addition on the roof. My hustand and I are have financial troubles and I asked for some of the money and my mother told me I spent it all. She claimed that she never gave my sister money for the addition on the house and had a list of every little thing she did for me written down on a piece of paper to the penny. She told me I spent my so called money. I got tired of the nonsense of as my mother puts it "a disappointment" because I wasn't like her. I have a mind of my own. My sister and my mother are just a like and even my children don't really see either one of them. They tell me I am the sane one in the house and my children are 18 and 17. There is such a thing a middle child syndrome. I have spoken to several people who are middle children and we are the minority.

Name: Gardenjoe
Country: USA
Comment:
I am a 3rd child...with 2 older sisters. As a boy, I am treated in a very different and embarrassing fashion. For example, with the first frost of the season in early October, my mother changes my entire style of dress for school. I am made to wear a union suit, woolen pants,shirt&socks. I am also made to wear a winter coat, scarf, hat and stretch rubbers over my shoes. Everyday I can't leave the house for school without my sisters and mother making sure I am over dressed to look like some kind of whoose. My sisters aren't made to wear extra clothing. Ma hovers over me in the morning makinfg sure I've put on a union suit and wollies. After breakfast, she has my sisters trained to make sure I don't leave without my winter coat,scarf, wool cap and storm rubbers on my feet, and,it makes no difference if is a beautiful sunny day. She inspects me before I go out the door. I got in trouble when my sister told my mother I was outside at school recess with my rubbers on. In fact I am made to dress this way until late April. In the winter, my dad bought me a pair of duck boots, but my mother wouldn't let me out of the house until I put my rubbers over them. Can anyone give me some advice or have a similiar experience that might help? Gardenjoe

Name: Susan
Country: USA
Comment:
I think it is very weird that you key in Oldest Child Syndrome into the computer search engine and the only web pages you get are about middle children. The oldest child also deals with many expections (probably more than the middle or youngest child)that are hard to handle - especially as an adult. There are a lot of birth orders out there and the oldest child hardly ever gets recognized. Sometimes we are so caught up in trying to make sure our younger siblings, whether they are middle or youngest are doing well. Can anyone understand this? If so, contact me.

Name: poster child of mcd
Country: Other
Comment:
im the middle child of 3. im now 20. i really believe in the existence of mcd, although there are lots of people who say its nothing. i used to try to kill myself (i cut myself on the wrist), i didnt do it right though, coz i didnt ends up in the hospital. i live in the same house as my family but they never found out. its like im invisible. i dont try killing myself anymore now, partly because im over the instability of being a teenager, but mostly because now i have this tiny light of hope that one day im gonna leave this house, this life. im starting med school next year. im pretty excited about that. i just hope everything goes as planned. to every middle child in the world who has the same sentiments. dont lose hope

Name: darkangel
Country: Southafrica
Comment:
I am 25 years old and am a middle child. Boy it does bite. My sister is older and always gets everything first, my brother younger and with that can do and get away with just anything. Me I was beaten and battered trying to protect them when in fact I mean nothing to them. So yeah there definately is MCS.

Name: Emily
Country: USA
Comment:
Im a middle child. i have an older brother and a younger brother. i love my family. im 15 years old. im pretty sure im treated equally, it just always felt like i had a hole inside, or a missing piece of the puzzle. The puzzle of MY life. My mom had a dream when i was young that there were times when i would feel alone and left out. Well it just so happened there were many times in my childhood and early teen years that ive felt left out and alone. Especially in my own family. I think even in the most loving a family a middle child is going to feel left out and crave the most attention.

Name: natasha
Country: England
Comment:
i love being the middle child! you can blame stuff on your younger bro/sis and they cant answer back and you can use your older bro/sis to your advantage! you can get lifts everywhere get them 2 buy alcohol borrow their stuff get them 2 beat ppl up if they bully you. no one wants 2 mess wiv u. i'll say it again , use it to YOUR ADVANTAGE!

Name: Brittany
Country: USA
Comment:
yeah...im the middle child...im 14 and honestly it sucks being the middle child i have two brothers and scince there both boys they get along and my parents favor my older brother cuz hes good at everything and my little one cuz they think hes innocent so ive formed an attitude that just gets me in more trouble and i really cant wait till i leave this place...

Name: MG
Country: Australia
Comment:
Play them at their own game ignore them!! I have spent my whole life carrying on like a 10 year old (Im 42 yrs old) trying to make myself heard in the family. I have written before and agree with the feeling of feeling neglected or ignored by my parents while my two sisters seem to get everything. I just want to add that I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis 4 yrs ago (please dont feel sorry for me) and off course my family told me to stop being angry all time and deal with it. This has only compounded my feelings of being constantly ignored. So I have decided that I too can play their game and now I chosen to cut off communication with them. I cant stay healthy and play happy family with them, I finally feel at peace!! No more ringing them, running around pleasing everyone and no more guilt!! Im surprised how free I feel!! This means that I havent sat at the same dinner table with the parents for one year now. The funny thing is that, my parents and my sisters dont like it and feel that this behaviour is wrong. Funny how they dont like the same treatment? BUT IM FREE NOW Thanks for listening MG

Name: C. Carfaro
Country: USA
Comment:
One thing I can add is the caution not to turn a blind eye on this "syndrome". I too was a middle child and took it as my personal mission not to acknowledge it. To treat my children equally and not fall into social sterotypes. Perhaps I was wrong. The experience of parenthood makes one more willing to reconsider past hard-line opinions. I am watching my daughter wrestle with some middle child issues and if I really want to respect her and show my love, I now choose fairness over equallity. I am fair to her needs, fair to all the children's needs, however it may not appear "equal". - good luck all. - C.

Name: Leigh
Country: USA
Comment:
I hate being a middle child. My older bro gets everything and my little brother is spoiled rotten.But all ya'll need to shut up your in the middle and there's nothing you can do about it.

Name: Nu-Nu
Country: USA
Comment:
I truly beileve thats there is a Middle Child Syndrome because I'm the middle child and I am the middle child on both sides on my family bacause my MoM and DaD don't either talk to each other and I'm in the middle of that and it is not fear!!!!!!!!!

Name: loopy loo
Country: France
Comment:
its great being a middle child my big sister is great and my little sister is great too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Name: lil gal
Country: USA
Comment:
I have to say that being the middle, and the mcs does exist. My whole life growing up, I've always gotten the end of everything. I'm the middle of 5 and it's really hard. My family doesn't have a lot of money, and my parents have been divorced since I was 4. My whole family is into country things, whereas I'm more of a city girl, and they hate that fact. I will admit that my family (parents and siblings) love me, but they don't accept the things that I do. Sometimes you just have to turn and walk away, because there's no point in fighting for something that you will never have, and that is being treated the same as everyone else.

Name: jassmyn-rose
Country: USA
Comment:
i have to do this research paper about middle child syndrome, so, i began searching through the internet for any scientific proof of "MCS" when i found this site. i'm 23 years old and a middle child. i honestly think that there is such thing as MCS. it's not whether you spend all your time or money or attention on them or not, it's the fact that the middle is treated differently than the oldest or the youngest. i have a friend that is a middle child and she is just spoiled to death by her parents; new car, laptop, dg cam, phone...basically, anything she wants. as for myself, i go to school, have two jobs and i pay for my car, but i do live at home. the oldest and youngest live elsewhere, no job and don't even have to worry about car payments bacause my parents pay for it all. it just sucks, that's all. i would mention other stuff but it's 12:30 am, i still have to study, and i have work at 6 am...

Name: Karen
Country: USA
Comment:
I myself am a middle child. I am now 36 years old.I still find that this thing MCS still in a way does exsist in my life. I have lived my life always feeling that I dont have a place in my family. My parents do love me very much but even now my sisters seem to be at the top of the list in their lives. I will say that I live a much more simple life that my sisters. But because I dont have major problems in my life, like my sisters. I dont get much quality time with my parents. Their main concern is to help my sisters with their money problems etc.. I have brought up in the past in confersations with my family how I have felt in my life about MCS, and I get mixed reactions from all of them. My mother gets very angery and says that is a cop out. I have lived with this all my life and still to this day feel somewhat out of place in my family. I love all of them with all my heart and I know that they feel the same, but there will always be that difference I feel from all of them. I learned to live with it and I always will live with it.

Name: Brenda
Country: USA
Comment:
Dont you all think that it might have to do with personality??? I have 3 boys- The oldest is 15 yrs. and then the middle child is 12 yrs and the youngest is 6 yrs. My oldest- Brett is very easy going and I try not to put to much presure on him because I was the oldest of two younger brothers! Then the youngest of 6 is a mess, but he has been sick since birth requiring many surgeries and Dr. appointments, but that middle child, that I love with all of my heart, takes up most of my time!! He is a wonderful child-just very demanding!! He thinks that the whole world is against him, everyone hates him!! BUT at school he is very well liked by the boys and the girls very athletic and very smart!! I just dont get it!! I give and give to this child and it is not enough! Actually I have the oldest son saying the things that you would think that the middle child would saY!! I think that there is such a thing as the middle child syndrome but yet I think that personality has alot to do with it!! brenda

Name: sunshine
Country: USA
Comment:
I AM THE MOTHER OF THREE GIRLS. AGES 6, 4, AND 5 MONTHS. MY OLDER DAUGHTER IS CALM, LAID BACK AND EASY GOING. THE BABY IS WELL A BABY. MY MIDDLE DAUGHTER ACTS UP ALOT SINCE THE BABY CAME HOME. I REALIZE THAT SHE WANTS MORE ATTENTION BUT IT SEEMA LIKE THE MORE I TRY TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH HER THE WORSE SHE GETS. I BELIEVE THERE IS A MIDDLE CHILD "SYNDROME" BUT I DON'T KNOW THAT THERE IS ANY ONE RIGHT WAY OF DEALING WITH IT AS A PARENT. I MYSELF AM TRYING REAL HARD BUT SEEM TO BE GETTING NO WHERE......

Name: Middle Child
Country: USA
Comment:
I truely believe in middle child syndrome. I guess you can say I'm living proof and it only gets worse it seems as I get older. I'm 28 female and I have a older sister who is 30 and a younger brother who is 25. My sister gets all the attention from all of my family memebers because she is the oldest and just had a baby and has the fairy tale life. My brother never sees my family but when he feels like it he still gets more attention than I do. I just don't get it. My mother died of cancer when i was very young so my grandparents brought us up along with my father. Today, we are all living on our own and my father calls my sister and brother alot and me well lets just say I'm forgotten about. Anyways, being the middle

Name: rite in the middle
Country: India
Comment:
anyone whos not a middle child will tell thids is a load of crap but i dont think it is....being a middle child i know what it feels like...i have 2 sisters 3 years older and 3 younger...the older is more spoiled since they are the parents "first born"....the youngest is babied because the parents feel the need to protect them more...the middle child struggles to find their role in the family...their postition is not so clearly cut...i personally find myself struggling to live up to an older sisters example...my parents live by the theory that if she did it i do to...i am sick and tired of being compared to her and i have tried to voice this to my parents but it never seems to get through...my cousin who is in a similar postion as me also having 2 sisters colorfully describes life as a middle child..."we are the crap sandwich between 2 perfectly white peices of bread" *~rite in th middle~*

Name: amie
Country: Canada
Comment:
The problem is with my parents is that they dont undertsnad anything...and they dont listen to their kids. they worrie about themselves more then anything

Name: Jillian (genekelly79@yahoo.com
Country: USA
Comment:
WOW! I didnt realize so many of us existed. LOL. I never knew about the Middle Child Syndrome till I was in college so whoever said "if you are brainwahsed with it then thats how it exists" is wrong and unless you truly are a middle child you wont understand. I think at some points you can just be giving yourself a pity party.It wont help you in the end so its better to just have to get over it. But other times the facts are so glaring obvious you cant ignore them. I was in a psychology class and we had to say how many siblings we had and where we fit. I told my teacher I was a middle child with an older sister and younger brother. She looked at me and said, " Boy do I feel sorry for you. " LOL, I think it really all depends on how your older& younger siblings are and what the relationship is with them. My sister and me are like day and night. She is the pretty socialite who rotates a room faster then anyone. She wants to be loved and noticed as much as possible and therefore she is taken into notice more often. I am everything opposite that and more. My brother is a classic jock who also, like my sister, loves attention but it is more altruistic in that he just loves to make people laugh and get people roaring. But being from italian decent and being the only son, he gets away with a lot and is given leway to things that I havent been give even now. My parents love me. I know that. I dont think they consciously want me to feel unloved and unnoticed, but it it is there. It became eveident after my sister flipped out and became a drug addict wacko. I literally am like a nun but I get yelled out for not cleaning my room at the same level as my sister for finding heroin stored in her closet. Fair? I dont think so. And now that she has failed them over and over they look to me to pick up the pieces and make them proud. But meanwhile when we were in high school they never really cared what happened to me. They even told me they never expected much of me because of who I was and how shy and scared I was. It's not something you can change. But for yourself and your sanity you have to move on and forget them. I have my Masters at 23 and all those people who excepted it to be my sister are gasping in delight and shame.

Name: Maria G
Country: Australia
Comment:
To the mother from Australia: Thankyou everyone. It's great to read that there are other 'middles' out there who feel the same. I'm sick of being told by my family to 'get over it' How can you move forward if your family constantly ignores you or don't know where you belong. And do we have to have a position in the family to feel belonged? What's the definition of a family? I don't think it's position or birth right? To the mother from Australia: I know that in the big picture of life that this is not life threatening stuff, but I've been experience this type of anger towards my parents all my life - (I'm 41) - because I'm sick of only getting the 'left overs' - if there's any after my sisters are finished. You say that your middle child is exhibiting anger behavour towards you, it is probably because he feels left out and that he's not being treated (emotionally) equal compared to his siblings. I too am (and still) exhibitiing anger toward my parents the same way your son is. I don't care what parents say, the middle child is not treated the same as the other sibbling - you're not here or there. All I know is that children (and later as adults) will react according to the way they've been emotionaly treated. For eg - during my teenage years I was constantly told that the oldest 'naturally' got new clothes etc - BUT I had to have all the hand me downs - even from my younger sister (they were both fatter than me) Both my sisters received some financial help from my parents when they got married and when it came to my turn to get married I was told "there's no money left" So it's diffult to believe that "all parents treat their children the same" I feel that what ever I do I'm never good enough and all my sisters have to do is say "I'm the oldest/youngest" and they receive what ever they want. So to answer your query on how to help your middle son - it's simple - treat him the same as the other two. For eg - my mother used to spend 'quality time' with each of my older and younger sister but never me. Now that everyone have moved out, my parents can't understand why they can't talk to me - or why I don't call them at times like my sisters. Well, maybe if they treated me like part of the family while I was growing up I might feel part of the family- but I don't. phew

Name: Maybe this can help: Mother of 4
Country: USA
Comment:
Hi, I am a mother of 4 children. 2 boys ages 10 & 5 & 2 girls ages 8 & 2. We try very hard to be good parents to our children & raise them to be respectable adults. I know it seems hard to be a kid sometimes, especially a 'middle child' when you have other brothers or sisters always around & you seem to be the one getting in all the trouble. But it really isn't like that. You have to think of the good things about having a family that loves you & they do. Even if it seems like they don't. They do! Having a big family of 5, 6 or more can be difficult for both children & parents. The stresses of daily life get to everyone & everyone handles it differently, in their own way, how you choose is up to you. In a good solid family, those, what seemed like terrible times of fighting w/your brothers/sisters will pay off one day & in a good way! There is nothing like a family!!! I am very close to all my brother & sisters now. And they are great Mom's & Dad's to their kids. All you can do is be yourself, be happy in being the 2nd child. Learn to deal with situations, because life does give alot of them, just be sure they are good decisions. Peace, Love & Happiness to you!

Name: Sarah
Country: USA
Comment:
I am the middle child of 3, I'm 14, I have an older sister who is 18 and a younger brother who is 12. I absolutly hate being the middle child and totally believe in the "Middle- Child Syndrome" I am ignored by my parents except when I'm in trouble. I am always blamed for anything that happens between me and my sis and bro. me and my brother barely talk to eachother at all, sometimes I think he really hates me. I have never been able to outshine my sister b/c she is perfect. My pparents are always comparing me to her and telling me I can do better. my sister and brother have such a tight relationship, that sometimes I feel like i'm not even apart of the family. I am always the outcast and expected to do everything. Sometimes I wish my parents wouldn't have had my brother b/c then I would have been the baby of the family, and I wouldn't have to be in Hell I call my life. being the middle child is the worst, and you'll never understand what it feels like unless you are one.

Name: Mike
Country: USA
Comment:
Hmmm... I am 26 yrs. old and I have found that some of my behavior lately has been botherring me. I cant FIND what i want to do, I cant FIND a sense of self to lean on and I cant SEE myself down the road. I found some traits of the middle child and found i possess and exhibite all of them. i feel that i dont fit in a lot its weird. But i can also gell to many different people and situations. I am a loner sorta kinds. I would just like someone to respond to if they feel like chattin about it, cause I do!!!!!

Name: Lindzay
Country: Canada
Comment:
I deffinately find it incredibly hard being the middle child. Im always too old for this or alwyas too young for that. But the other sister isn't. I get no attention, Im fine with that but I am sick of always being compared to the other sisters. Just becaus I dont have the intellegence the older one has or the beauty the younger one has, I am constantly being compared. Im just different, and being the middle, i am alywas too young or too old to do anything the other one is doing.

Name: /
Country: USA
Comment:
youngest child syndrome....I found a cure.... I am the youngest in a family of 8.I'm now 40 and recently told my older siblings (aged 45 to 54)at a family gathering while they were teasing me, that one day, they'll be in a nursing home while I'm still young and able and it'll be my turn to bully them. You should've seen the look on their face.

Name: brooke
Country: USA
Comment:
Okay i'm a middle child and i dont care what all these people say how middle children should get over it! its hard bein the middle one! i have an older sister thats 16 and a yonger brother thats 12 and i'm 14. my sister is a great athlete who made varsity bball freshman year and my brother is just the baby and can yell at me and my parents assume i've done something wronge. i don't like feeling like this my older sister is pretty which people say i am too but shes very skiny and i'm not as thin as her, i don't like it one bit! but the thing we all have in common is that we don't like our lives and how it affects us and our personalities. but if there wern't middle children people wouldn't be as independent. were so much more caring and know how to take care of ourselves which will come in handy. so even tho it sucks to be a middle child stick with it, u can't control other people or anything like that all u can control is ur attitude and how u act and respond. hopefully if u do it responsibly than it will pay off! all i have to say is stick in there! u'll survive!

Name: Patty anderson
Country: USA
Comment:
My sister are always taking advntage og my kindness. I let them borrow money and they never give it back. Then they always hit me.One time i was riding my bike and they pushed me over and i broke my arm in 2 places. I,m the second to the younest and i'm small for my age.there so mean.

Name: cousin of a middle child
Country: USA
Comment:
Tell her she's a drama queen. All of them are.

Name: your prupose in this world
Country: Other
Comment:
hello there everyone,this is all new to me,but indeed very important because i have a sister whose behaviour can become very agressive at times, and not very pleasent.

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