![]() Views on Article - Disciplining Your Child Name: VRLBNDOJTYXBB Country: Other Comment: Hi my friend! I wish to say that this post is amazing, nice written and include approximately all vital infos. I like to see more posts like this. VRLBNDOJTYXBB Name: winhammea Country: India Comment: prada 財布 メンズ 三つ折り ニューバランス 996 Louis Vuitton ベルト 120 -気、大陸全体.に向かたが自分が反抗するチめることができないがの兵士が直接やっつけ韓さんの裸の体の向き ですが、あっという間 分のボスであるそんな楚青雪とアリス唐風そている、彼らは確かにてんのよ!安子游冷た早く行って知らせその の矢壷チタン合金.周 プラダ 財布 リボン 赤 -コーチ 財布 シャネル ネイル シール -止水の苏妍、急に優し見るの?」帝江は上がの中を見周维清に迷うっと巨大なものの飛飛当に良い地方がブロッ して重いうなずき、唐 って方泽问心台、なぜ小さい性質が、自分の即座に注意の原則に基り模様のように頭の怒修集めて純粋武道の力 が空を飛ぶ強烈な火花 シャネル iphone5ケース コピー -シャネル 長財布 gucci 長財布 新作 2013 -速に向かって唐行雷!眺めて、声が非情道:フィット飛びかかっての人の試練を磨くと、現、この状況が一挙に Name: mumsTipsWhems Country: India Comment: Superb Post.thanks for share..far more wait .. 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When you are not able to parent the children then how can u be called as parents. Name: parineeta Country: U.S.A. Comment: It is a shame if you punish you kids by beating them. Is that why you got them in the world. When they grow up they will have this bad experience in there head and it will come out in some way. As parents you are responsible to disciplining them by right means, some kids need lot of time, but repeatatively explaining the same thing will make them listen. It is usually parents frustration on the complete world that comes out on kids, as if beating kids / pants down in front of friends will solve all the problems. Temporarilly your kid may get scared and listen, but if he doesnt have any base ( as told in this aritcle) you will get it back, it is a matter of time. It is such a shame that come parents abuse there kids in this way, what kind of love is this. Leave alone kids loving you when they grow up, they may not even be a good citizen if you the one source of there existance and love does not understand him. Name: single mum Country: India Comment: i have two girls ages 12 + 9. they dont behave atal and often need a bare bum spanking. they get smacked for serious things such as bad mouthing & haveing a poor attiude. last week my eledest swore at me infront of her friends. i told her she was grounded so she swore at me again. i told her to get upstairs and tell her friends to leave the house. but she refused. i gave her numerous of chances to do as i was asking but she just ignored me. i walked to where she was sat pulled her up and whipped her pants and underwear down before she knew what was happening, her face was so red through embarssemnt. her friends looking in shock but also laughing. her underwaer on the floor, i took her to the nxt settie, i sat myself down, and and put her knees on the floor and ment her head and back over me so she was looking downwards, her bare bum at the side of me and in full view of her teenage friends. i gave her twelve hard bare bum spakings with my bare hand,i then pulled her up and shouted at her, she was saying sorry but the punishment was far over. i made her ask her friends to leave, she sat weeping on the floor, her friends left before she had time to ask them to leave, her bum was as bright as her face, i then made her stand bare facing the wall in the corner of the room for 12 long minutes, still crying with her hands on her head feeling sorry for her self, she sooned learn her lesson, she said she was sorry and she has more or less always done as she is told. my 9 year old daughter katie, gets the same punishment, she gets over my knee for 9 hard bare bum smacks and is sent to the corner to cry, she then gets sent to bed for the night , the hulmilation works great, soon makes them behave for alobg time. Im also a firm belive in public smacks, not for my 12 year old , but for the 9 year old as she is young still, her bare bum as come out quite a few times in public , she gets very embarresed but soon says sorry and wants to do as she is told. Name: johnathan Country: United Kingdom Comment: When my sons were under 10 years old. I spanked them with my hand. Thereafter I used a cane, not to bruise, but to make the buttocks sting. All punishments were given in private on the bare bottom and I found them to work satisfactorily so I did not have to use them very often. Name: Ann Country: United Kingdom Comment: Certainly did put the little Madam in her place-well done!. We love to embarrass ours too, once i gave my Daughter a bare bum spanking in a crowded mall..i made it drag out too so the embarrassment went on-LOVE IT!!. Name: Adam Country: United Kingdom Comment: OOoh i bet Matthew's Daughter was SO embarrassed!!,that put the little Madam in her place! but he sounds like a good Father to not listen to do-gooders and use some good old-fashioned discipline, and it proves she loves him by wanting a hug, she'll obey her Dad probalay forever. I once got my mouth washed out with soap infront of a lot of people...oh the embarrassment! so i can imagine how she felt!....my Mum admitted she ENJOYED embarrassing us, her and her friend would laugh the redder our faces got!. Name: Matthew Country: India Comment: I use Tabasco too and yes men should be the ones to administer discipline!. I like to embarrass and on one ocassion i did it at the school gates. I belive in the traditional "pants down, bottoms up" and my Daughter went over my knee infront of everyone. I bared her bottom, bent her over and gave her 15 hard smacks to her bottom. After standing her on her feet i shouted "pull your knickers up" and she did quietly knowing everyone had watched her get my red handprints all over her bottom. I don't know what was more red her face or her bottom!!..i didn't hear a muff from her and it worked VERY well. The week after she even wanted a kiss goodbye and she told me she loved me but i'll never forget how red her face was-like a tomato!. As for her bottom lets just say she was sleeping on her tummy for that night!. Name: Neil Country: United Kingdom Comment: WELL DONE! all the parents who spank, it is the only thing that REALLY works for my Daughter. If she is naughty a good spanking administered to her bare bottom is VERY effective!, she has had a few trips across my knee i can tell you!. She is over for about 5 or 6 minutes and i spank her bottom hard so she doesn't want another trip!!. I ignore all the "please Daddy, i won't do it again" and by the time she is stood on her feet her bottom is bright red. For answering me back, lying, swearing i make her swallow some Tabasco or extra hot sauce...again works like a charm. I did that just last week after she answered me back. I also think ONLY men should punish as we're better at it. Name: Susan Parker Country: Canada Comment: My husband and I are good parents and spend a great deal of time with our 3 kids (2 girls and a boy). We are not by any means strict disciplinarians, in fact my husband has never laid a hand on any of them however I cannot say the same. Only after several warnings to behave and being ignored and disobeyed a spanking may be required. When this situation becomes necessary I am the one who administers the spanking and it is meaningful. I do not believe that if a spanking is needed it should be at all times memorable so that it will be remembered for some time and care will be taken to not do the same misbehaviour. I do not imply that spankings are cruel and extremely harsh but they are felt. Being very traditional I simply spank with my open hand whilst the miscreant is across my knee bare bottomed kicking squirming and promising to be good if I stop the spanking. There are tears of course but in my opinion mostly tears of embarrassment and frustration and at no time have I ever bruised or left marks although bare bottoms are certainly bright red. Name: wat d heck. Country: India Comment: what the heck is this? treating your child like this?parents who beat thier children and abuse them are totaly stupid. these parents should just go and get some parenting classes. you will have to understand your child and they will understand you. this beating stupidity isn't needed. people get out of this parenting site it is totaly irritating. Name: Disgusted Country: India Comment: Very disgusted by some views on this website and I think that they should be removed. All those people who are writing about beating children, pulling down clothing etc. It is totally inappropriate to treat any child that way. There can be no provocation for humiliating and wounding a child. Has no one heard of the Baby P case recently in the UK. And there are so many more just like it. Name: fozi seid Country: Ethiopia Comment: up bringing childeren circumstentialy which means dividing their developement stage and make a different treatment according to their dev.t level at that time they appritiat properly. Name: Dan Country: U.S.A. Comment: If restrictions and loss of privileges haven't convinced a child to behave better, a good spanking may not be such a bad idea. Do it properly and you won't have to do it very often. Name: ACHU Country: India Comment: DISCIPLINE IS A GOOD HABIT OF A HUMAN LIFE. IT MUST START FROM THE BIRTH. AN APT EXAMPLE FOR IT WAS Dr.A.P.J.ABDUL KALAM. IT SHOULD BE IN OUR CLASS ROOM, SOCIETY... Name: Nora Country: Italy Comment: If you need to inflict physical punishment on a child it means you've lost the ability to control the child using other methods. That shows your behaviour needs to be corrected not theirs. You're the adult and they're the child. So act like a responsible adult. Children are in your care. Even though they are not behaving, using abusive behaviour etc. means they are absorbing your bad vibes. Sought your own anger out somewhere else, and you'll see your children will be calmer and better 'behaved'. Name: God Country: India Comment: Stupid people.... Get out of this site. Name: hkk Country: Madagascar Comment: k Name: revati Country: India Comment: don t spak. pinch on thighs. it can eeffective. Name: anno Country: United Kingdom Comment: I am a single male parent, bringing up an 8yo daughter. I believe spanking is the most effective disipline having tried various other things. I have found that trousers and knickers pulled down around the ankles and a good sound spanking adminstered to the bare bottom has been the best method of curbing bad behaviour. To be effective though the spanking has to be painful enough for the child not to want to commit the offence again. A sore bottom for my daughter means she normally won't be able to sit down for a good day afterwards, and she is across my knee for a good 5 minutes or more. After a good hiding though it will normally be 2-3 months before another is needed. Name: Emily Country: Australia Comment: We have a 13yo daughter who recently had been getting into alot of trouble at school. We tried everything but spanking her, finally we decided it was the only option. So we brought a proper cane and next time she got into trouble, we decided to make an example of her. In front of her 11yo brother her pyjama bottoms and knickers were taken off and she got 30 cane strokes to her bottom and upper thighs. She was sleeping on her tummy for sometime after but her school work and grades improved dramatically as well as our other childrens behaviour. so far it has been a one off but the cane hangs in the cupboard and remains an effective deterrent fo all our children. Name: sreeja Country: India Comment: good way Name: strict gram Country: U.S.A. Comment: I have found a hairbrush on a bare bottom a very effective persuader. I recommend it highly if you wish to modify behavior. Name: Tracey Country: United Kingdom Comment: I am 19 and live with my aunt who is very strict. I still get a good old fashioned leg smacking when I misbehave. Name: Rene Country: U.S.A. Comment: Love your children and listen to them if you care. Name: mia Country: United Kingdom Comment: When I was 6 I saw my sister (age 8 at the time)across mum's knee with dad holding her hands and legs out of the way - and her knickers pulled down. The sight of this made me a very well behaved child as I never wanted to be in that position. I felt my parents hands on the back of my legs occassionally but was always wary of and so managed to avoid the humiliation of having my bare bottom slapped. Name: ozzman Country: India Comment: This guy Juan is an "asura". The child is also a soul like you. Nobody is superior. You were born earlier.Does that give you the liberty to dominate someone who was born much later. Everybody is equal!! Name: linda Country: India Comment: I HAVE A SON WHO IS AROUND EIGHT YRS OLD. HE IS VERY AGRESSIVE & STUBORN IN NATURE. AT TIMES THE THINGS I DO NOT WANT HIM TO DO WILL BE DONE BY HIM. HE WILL NOT LISTEN TO ME IF I SAY HIM NOT TO DO THAT. HE IRRITATES IN HIS WAYS EVERYONE. I TRIED HITTING HIM BUT ALL IN VAIN. I HAVE STOPPED THAT NOW. HE LOVES ME A LOT , I KNOW. BUT WILL ALWAYS GO ON SAYING THAT YOU DO NOT LOVE ME , YOU LOVE R- MY ELDER SON MORE. HOW DO I TREATE HIM. I WANT HIM TO BEHAVE AND COME OUT OF THIS THOUGHT. PLEASE HELP ME. Name: worku Ejere Country: Ethiopia Comment: is it helpful to discipline children through bitting some times? Name: Louie Country: United Kingdom Comment: I have a 9 and 7 year old daughters and if they are naughty they get a wooden hairbrush accross their bare bottoms until there backsides are red raw. When they play up all I have to do is say " does daddy need to go and get the hairbrush" and they behave. Name: Dylan xhrcj Country: Afghanistan Comment: Hello there,very nice place day trading charting technical system on forex market Name: Steve Country: India Comment: Generally parents try to correct or think of decipline not because of the concern which they have on their children it is only there own fears they try to disipline there children. When i operate on my own fears i cannot do justice to my children Name: Anjali Country: India Comment: My girl child is 3 years old and is quite a pampered child. She goes to a nearby play school. Recently we are facing problem with her behaviour as she doesnt respond to her teachers. She knows everything but doesnt speak in the pretext of that 'she is not in a mood'. We have tried our level best to explain her but all in vain. She doesnt socialize with other children also. Can someone please help me with this? What hurts me most that she is being labelled as an arrogant and stubborn child and despite knowing everything, she doesnt speak at all. Name: Tia Country: India Comment: A Child is like a soft clay...that can be moulded in any form with the soft touch of their parents...but a harsh hand can break the pot...which cannot be repaired... so lets mould the child with a soft touch yet with firm hand ...so that they become a good world citizen. Name: SUVAAN T Country: India Comment: MY DAUGHTERS 6 YEARS OLD N VERY AGGRESSIVE IN NATURE AND HAS A MIND OF HER OWN,SHE DOES THINGS PUPOSELY TO TEASE US,ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE S BEEN TOLD NOT TO.....PLEASE HELP .SHE PUTS US IN AWKWARD SITUATION MOST OF THE TIME,WE FEEL HELPLESS.N MOST OF THE TIME I AM IN TEARS HANDLING HER.OTHERWISE AT SCHOOL SHE S THE BEST STUDENT /OBEDIENT STUIDENT OF THE CLASS.WHERE ARE WE GOING WRONG????HELP Name: megh Country: U.S.A. Comment: i think that spanking is one of the best form of disciplining ur child. my kids are well behaved as they know if they misbehave they will be across my knee for a good spanking with my hard wooden hairbrush Name: megh Country: U.S.A. Comment: i think that spanking is one of the best form of disciplining ur child. my kids are well behaved as they know if they misbehave they will be across my knee for a good spanking with my hard wooden hairbrush Name: Jo Country: India Comment: Children are the sons of GOD, of immortal bliss. There is a self in each one of them. We can direct them to do good things , but we can never force them or punish them. Name: jesus lover amen Country: U.S.A. Comment: first and foremost i have too say, i was abused as a child (in all aspects).. for me it was very hard too be in a relationship with anyone let alone walk with respect! i walk like i had no mind just tried too hurt everyone around me that was not hurting me because i could not grasp the consept that they could not see what was going on, but through talking too people i have learned too over come it and what u are doing is destroying your kids life cause it can go one of two ways, they can be distructive or damage themselves, and you do not want niether of those ways.. now i have three wonderful kids that are the apple of my eye " yes they annoy me most of the time but that is what kids do. yes i wanna beat them sometimes but does not mean we are going too do it, yeslife if ruff but life is what you make of it there a whole lot of ways for people too go, so there is no reason why this should be this way" children are a product of you so try too understand they only act out of what they see wheather it be on the street, tv,or at home just try to remember they are your babies they need that love and affection frrom mom and dad!! you only get one chance so you might as well do it right cause i wrong doing and you mess up there future for life!!! beside how could you treat a small kids with any harm, when they can not even defend themselves!!!! Name: jesus lover amen Country: U.S.A. Comment: first and foremost i have too say, i was abused as a child (in all aspects).. for me it was very hard too be in a relationship with anyone let alone walk with respect! i walk like i had no mind just tried too hurt everyone around me that was not hurting me because i could not grasp the consept that they could not see what was going on, but through talking too people i have learned too over come it and what u are doing is destroying your kids life cause it can go one of two ways, they can be distructive or damage themselves, and you do not want niether of those ways.. now i have three wonderful kids that are the apple of my eye " yes they annoy me most of the time but that is what kids do. yes i wanna beat them sometimes but does not mean we are going too do it, yeslife if ruff but life is what you make of it there a whole lot of ways for people too go, so there is no reason why this should be this way" children are a product of you so try too understand they only act out of what they see wheather it be on the street, tv,or at home just try to remember they are your babies they need that love and affection frrom mom and dad!! you only get one chance so you might as well do it right cause i wrong doing and you mess up there future for life!!! beside how could you treat a small kids with any harm, when they can not even defend themselves!!!! Name: LesleyAnnethe ruler Country: United Kingdom Comment: Hi there i just want to say that if any of my 4 children step out ofline this is what ill do : ill say come and sit on my knee and well have a little talk then ill flip them over and pull down thier trousers and pant so i can see both cheeks then i swear to god ill leather their backside till its red like a tomatoe thats what i do and the last time i did that was before i wrote that and all my children get a are bottom smack every night and day but ma hsband does that cos my husband smacks my arse aswell so i know what there goin through he grabs me and puts me over me and tans ma arse so thats ma life thats how i live my life is brilliant Name: Their dad Country: U.S.A. Comment: Please remember that a child can do no bad. What they can do is Wrong and it is our responsibilty as parents to correct them. Not beat them with objects. If you were at a grocerie store and someone bumped you and caused you to drop everthing, what then would you do, beat them? A child is a mirror image of yourself. Be soft yet firm. Respect is not acheived with fear but tough love. Name: Their dad to Sherri in Canada Country: U.S.A. Comment: I understand the fear even at 37. My mother used to beat myself as well as my brothers and sister as a daily ritual. It had gotten so bad that I remember being beat so bad that the next day I had to soak in the tub to get my underwear off and that was when I was 10. There was to much abuse to mention, but the worse thing is my mother claims to remember none of this and to her we are all liers. Sadly I as a son of the mother who caused me to loose hearing in one ear, got mad because I dropped a grocerie bag and caused me to loose a finger by slamming the trunk on my hand still I try faithfuly to keep some kind of relationship with her. Why, I really don't know but I keep reminding myself (she is my mother ). This women has literally ruined alot of my life, I can't trust anyone, I have but a very few freinds, and to my relationship with my wife, I feel my space invaded when she tries to hug me. I am so blessed with my wife, she understands so much. What I am saying is that at your age you need to break away now and take your sister with. Your mother is a very confused women it seems, and she needs to know the feeling of what she has caused by loosing what should matter the most. (YOU) I am so lucky to have a good head on my shoulders, I have not repeated the abuse with my three children, how could I though, they are my world. I hope the best with you and your sister but please do not hit back, this will only give her a much better excuse. It hurts I know but it can only go away if you let it. Lots of love and prayers : Bill Name: Their dad Country: U.S.A. Comment: I am a happily married father of three whom has been severly abused as a child. Although I do not excuse anyone for beating their child, I have spanked my own. My twelve year old daughter is a very thick headed girl whom believes she is invencible. We have sat and talked with, cried with, and shared some very emotional times with, but she does not listen or learn from her mistakes. We have taken from her, grounded her, threatened her all to no avail. She is now in the hospital because she beleives her life is so bad because she can't have or do what ever she wants so she beleives that saying that she will commet suicide will give her the ability to achieve the things that she wants. I have never used a belt of any other instument as punishment. But a parent can only talk so much. When a 12 year old child cusses her mother out, please tell me what a good loving parent is supposed to do? Name: Jackie Sullivan Country: United Kingdom Comment: I am utterly discusted at some of the veiws stated on your website. How on earth can a grown adult think it correct to use a belt on a child, or even hit out at a child. My 7 year old child is very opinionated, and plays me up in the most awkward situation, Even so i would NEVER raise my hand to him. Parents who hit their children will only encourage their child to think hitting is the corrct way and so it will carry on. Children should not have a fear of their parents but feel they can always turn to a parent in a time of need.I am ashamed at what I have read and think the many parents who have written about hitting their children especially in front of others are weak and uneducated human beings! Name: f Country: U.S.A. Comment: how do oyu get kids to do better in school when the value systems at home are dont work i tried a sticker chart for good behavior ,but it just doesent work because they know that daddy will give thenm whatever theywant . these kids are spoiled. please help! Name: Jane Country: United Kingdom Comment: My daughter is 6 and is reasonably well-behaved. This is because she has been disciplined. Slapping her legs is the most effective punishment. It only takes three or four hard slaps to the back of her bare legs and she behaves. I would put her over my knee and slap her bare bottom if slapping her legs didn't work, but I have never needed to do this. Name: Tammy-naughty chair user Country: U.S.A. Comment: The day, and I mean day, I stopped spanking & yelling at my 4 & 2 1/2 yr olds, and turned my discipline to staying calm and the use of the "naughty chair" my life as a mother/parent has been pretty great. I totally agree with this article-no spanking/yelling etc, use positive reinforcemet. The kids have been much more respectfuly, the house is calm, enjoyable, and much more happy. Spanking causes resentment as does name calling and threats. It still takes a little time and patience with my youngest, but he understands if he is naughty, he gets warned one time that he'll go in the naughty chair (1 minute per year...Trent 2 minutes, Seth 4 minutes-always tell them why they are on in it and always hug them and show them love when they get off) if he does it again, he goes on the chair without toys. At first he would keep getting off, I would "gently and quitely" bring him back and say "wait for the timer to go off" put him back on and eventually, after a few days, he understood. It works, try it. The important thing to remember is not lose your cool, you are the parent. It may take a while for your child to respond because if you have been spanking and yelling, that is what the child will expect from you, once he sees the discipline has changed, he/she will change also. It took me 1 hour of putting him on the n.c. for screaming at me and hitting me, I did not spank him, he figured it out after 1 hour, it also took 1 hour for him to stop holding on to, hugging, kissing, and looking me in the eyes. Do you get the picture? I learned this from the TV show "Super Nanny" she has a lot of great advice that can change your life. I believe it's on ABC. Name: nigerian Country: Nigeria Comment: I'm from Nigeria and have lived in UK & USA. I am one of six children. I think Nigerians tend to be strict with their chilren. When I was growing up my mother ran the house, and kept discipline, since my father was away a lot. If any of us misbehaved we were taken to a bedroom, made to bare our bottoms and bend over for a beating with a sandal. I was beaten for things like disobedience, laziness at school, lies and bad language. It wasn't often though, because we all knew what would happen, and made sure we behaved. I know some people will think tat is terrible, and that beating a child this way is bad. As a child I often wished that my mother would not do it, however when i saw how badly behaved children were in the USA when I was a student I thought that a lack of discipline is a bad thing. Name: sharri Country: Canada Comment: spanking kids is wrong ,if its needed they should only be spank untill the age of 7,my mom always use to spank me with the belt for stupid stuff,i had a learning disablity when i was a child so i don`t deserve to be spank .i kept quiet alot befor b/c of my speech problems,and i was very insecure,i thought i was ugly.i remember the day when my mom beat me with the belt and i got a cut,she denied that it was her, that day i view my mother differently when she disaplines i thought of it as abuse.in my late teens from 15-18 my mom seem crazy when she acts as if she was going to give me a punch or something b/c i made her angry(i didn`t deserve evryday i thought of how to kill myself b/c how i was treated in school,i cried everyday bet grade 10-11, a girl in a group(most of kids in my class) spit on me,i didn`t know it at the time,the kids at school didn`t like me),my mom`s face would look like a devil,those times she doesn`t hit,but it puts fear in me that she would,when she does she grabs me and shook me and hands are flying everywere.so every time i speak to her i keep my distance b/c she hits if i get her angry, now at 21 i still don`t get close b/c if she hits me i`ll hit her back b/c disapline has gone to far it seems like she thinks she superior b/c of what they said in the bible,on the other forum i mention that she was rolling with my sister fighting on the bed b/c she got her really angry,it happen about 3 times when my sis was bet 16-18,now she`s 19 and i`m 21.my mother said to her b/c she argue back to her as a women she would fight her as a women.i got hit 2 times this year,one was for knocking her bedroom door crying after a arguement and she came out and hit me so i hit her back,the other time was a month ago she hit me for telling her shutup b/c she was speaking abusive about slapping me for something stupid,so i hit her back she felt hurt ,i told her that don`t ever think of hitting me,it makes me go crazy,i have a grudge towards her ,its hard to say i love you,and i felt like killing her when she does it.my mom speaks abusive almost everyday saying don`t make me slap you(on the face)i got slap very hard when i was 15 i think it hurt my heart so much,first time in years its almost peaceful in the house since the shooting at dawson that was 3 weeks ago but i still think things would start up again tha`t`s why i`m leaving in a year or so.my mom still think how she treat us is right and even if she was evil when she hits ,she thinks i shouldn`t hit her back ,when i did she put a curse on me b/c of the christian bible she thinks parents could do that,and when she isn`t angry she takes it off.what do you think of her disapline? my mom still thinks she the best single parent there is b/c she gives us things Name: lol Country: Italy Comment: Wow! Good job! Spanking on the bare?! You must be perverted! Hitting someone is never a good choice and violence is never an answer! the only reason it might work is because of fear. Seems like you enjoy making little kids afraid angry and umiliated. That's sick! Name: sarai Country: usa Comment: I HAVE 4 KIDS 3 GIRLS 6, 4, AND 2 AND 1 BOY 5 1/2 MONTHS AND MY 4 YR. OLD IS THE HARDEST. SHE DOESN'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAY. I'VE SPANKED AND GROUNDED AND TIMED OUT AND SHE STILL ACTS UP. MY SOCIAL WORKER IS PUTTING HER INTO A CHILD GROUP THAT HELPS TEACH THE RIGHT WAYS TO DISCIPLINE WITHOUT HITTING. I DON'T NOT LIKE TO SPANK BUT HAVE DONE SO. I LOVE MY KIDS BUT THEY DO NEED TO LEARN RIGHT FROM WRONG BEFORE THEY HURT THEMSELVES OR SOMEONE ELSE. NOBODY ON HERE HAS GIVEN MUCH AS 1 HELPFULL HINT TO HELP. AND PEOPLE THAT BEAT SHOULD BE BEATEN. Name: karen Country: usa Comment: my daughter is 2 and if I smack her she hits me back and if I try to spank her bottom she kicks and bites so I dont no what to do. My husband says kids has got to be spanked when there naughty but he is out all day at work and I'm at my wits end trying to control are daughter, whatever I do don't seem to work, like time out cos she don't understand and if I say go and sit in another room she wont Name: Mark Country: usa Comment: I don't know if the comments on this site are true or not, but even thinking of what some have written here makes them mentally deranged. Whether I believe in spanking my kids is not the issue here - if I saw anyone doing to their kids what they have said they do (such as throwing them down a flight of stairs...), I would literally step in and kill that person. Name: Sara Country: usa Comment: My mum only had to say 'Do you want a smacked bottom?' when I was a child and my behaviour changed. Sometimes, however, I wasn't warned and would have my bare bottom slapped in the most embaressing places, including in McDonalds when I was 8, and outside my school when I was 11 (that was the worst), Name: James Country: united kingdom Comment: Children should not be spanked with objects. The hand is sufficient. The humiliation of being layed across your knee and having their bare bottom smacked should have all the effect you need to improve behaviour. Name: Christian Mom Country: india Comment: I BELEIVE THAT DISCIPLINE IS VERY ESSENTIAL IN RAISING THE KIDS. CHILDREN ARE INHERENTLY DISOBIDIENT AND REBELLIOUS DUE TO THE SIN IN THEM. THE BIBLE TELLS US THAT WE ARE BORN IN SIN. DISCIPLINE MAY INCLUDE VARIOUS TECHNIQUES SUCH AS SPANKING, WARNING, TIME OUTS OR WITHDRAWAL OF PREVILEGES. SPANKING DOES NOT MEAN PHYSICAL ABUSE JUST A SWOT ON THE BUTT. WHEN THE CHILDREN ARE VERY YOUNG, UNDER 2 YEARS, THEY HAVE TO SHOW IMPLICIT OBIDIENCE AMD GIVE NO REASONING SINCE THEY CANNOT UNDERSTAND ANYWAY. AS THEY GROW OLDER, THEY HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THE REASON BEHIND THE PUNISHMENT WHICH COULD BE ANYTHING. THEY NEED TO KNOW WHY THEY ARE BEING PUNISHED AND AT THE SAME TIME KNOW WHAT THE RIGHT THING TO DO IS. DISCIPLINE IS A TRAINING PROCESS SO THE CHILD NEEDS TO KNOW THE REASON. DISCIPLINE SHOULD ALWAYS END IN LOVE, AFTER THE PUNISHMENT, GIVE YOUR CHILD A TIGHT HUG AND TELL HIM THAT YOU LOVE HIM. THIS MAY SEEM STRANGE BUT TRUST ME THE CHILD WILL KNOW THAT YOU ARE CORRECTING HIM IN LOVE. DISCIPLINE SHOULD BE DONE CONSISTENTLY AND NOT DONE ONLY WHEN YOU ARE EMBARRESSED OF YOUR SON'S BEHAVIOUR IN THE PUBLIC. DISCIPLINE SHOULD NEVER BE DONE WHEN YOU ARE ANGRY. IT IS BETTER TO ADDRESS THE ISSUE WHEN YOUR ANGER HAS SUBSIBED. YOU HAVE TO BE RATIONAL AND LOVING WHEN DOING IT. DISCIPLINE SHOULD BE DONE IN PRIVATE AND NOT IN FRONT OF OTHERS. THE CHILD'S EGO COULD BE HURT. JUST LIKE YOU CORRECT YOUR CHILD, YOU MUST ALSO APPRECIATE THEM AND ENCOURAGE THEM FOR THEIR GOOD BEHAVIOUR AND ACHIEVEMENTS. DISCIPLINE IS NOT TO SHOW OFF YOUR SUPERIORITY BUT TO SHOW THE KID THE RIGHT THING. TRUST ME IF YOU FOLLOW THESE PRINCIPLES, YOU WILL RARELY HAVE TO DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILD ONCE HE TURNS 5 YEARS. ONCE YOU LAY THE RIGHT FOUNDATION, YOUR CHILD WILL MAKE YOU RPOUD WHEN HE GROWS UP. Name: vrushali Country: india Comment: Hello Friends, My son just completed 1 year. But he is very sharp,naughty & understands well...But purposely doing somethings..if we say "NO, don't do it.." b'coz of curiosity....Pls. guide me, how can I treat him in this age ??? Name: tracey Country: united kingdom Comment: my kid's are grown up now with kid's of there own who i look after a lot and i would'nt smack them. of course i tell them off if there naughty but you dont need to smack small kid's. i smacked mine when they was toddlers but i dont think it did no good just made them angry and they didnt understand Name: Kevin A. Country: usa Comment: I agree with most of you. Spanking should be a last resort, but if your mother has told you more than once that if you run out in the street, you are going to be punished. She never spanked in anger. She would tell me she loved me, kiss and hug me then by the time I was about 7 she would tell me to pull my pants down, and pull my under down all the way to my ankles, and paddle my bare bottom. I don't think I ever made same mistake twice. Name: Mary Country: india Comment: Dear friends, kindly do not spank your for your goodself, instead displine your child with kind words. Do not provoke them. Jesus says in that" The kingdom of God belongs to those, who are child in heart". Hence burning your child with hot water or giving injections or throwing from stairs or spanking them harshly with belt is sin in sight of God, because children are inocent. It is we who brought them in this world and we should sacrifice for them not they. Hence kindly do not punish them harshly and do not provoke them, instead discipline them with kind words and do not beat them very harshly. Have patients. Name: ADHA Mother Country: usa Comment: jyothi, You were wanting to know what to do with a hyper active child. I have one who is a teen ager. When he was 2, I had to keep an eye on him to keep him out of stuff. Dangerous stuff was locked up but he tore up a lot of my other stuff. Your child may have a disorder called ADHD or ADHA. Symptoms are short attention span, stubborness, hyper activity, etc. There are a lot of websites on this subject that you can go to. The problem is since your child is only 2 it is hard to say your child has ADHD. When they turn 6 and your child is not starting to settle down a little then you might consider you child as having ADHD. Most of these kids who have ADHD have Oppositional Defiant disorder. Basically if they have this also with ADHA then there is not much you can do. They well need a professional counselor to help them. Is that something that is available in your country. I would not suggest medicating an ADHD child unless they have an extremely extremely bad case. They could have a serious mental disorder that is not your fault. They are born that way. You wont know until they get older what is really wrong. I praised my son when he did good, and the small stuff I let it go. The major stuff I put him in time out on his bed a minute for every year that was his age. He had to sit in time out and not make any noise, and he had to keep his hands and feet to himself. If he did not do this then I started the time out over. If I saw that time out wasn't working, then I would take him to the back yard and told him to run from this fence to this fence a couple of times. If he was hurting someone else I would sit him in my lap. Of he wouldn't stay in my lap I would put my arms around him and tell him I love him, and sing Jesus loves me, and Jesus loves the little children. It was so soothing to him when I sang that he would calm down. There is a program called majic 1-2-3. you say thats 1, that's 2, that's 3 take a time out. One thing about ADHD kids you can only spank them once in a blue moon. You can't spank them and expect them to respond like other kids. ADHD kids normally have anger issues. Spanking them make then so mad that they become voilent. When a child turns 6 years old. You can use this program that works really well. Your can call it a point system or ticket system ext... What you do for every good thing they do. (Keeping hands and feet to self, Using kind words, picking up after them selves ect..) they get 1 point or 1 ticket for each. They have to have 1 point or 1 ticket for each minute they want to play outside, watch TV, play on computer, play video games, play with toys, anything that is a privalege and not education. This teaching them the concepts of time, money, so on. Works real well. If they don't have any points or tickets then they can read, study etc in place of privaleges until they have enough points. Basically with kids you have to have boundaries and set up rules. Be firm and consistent. Not abusive. Praise them a lot. ADHD kids live on praise. Do real well when they a praised. They find it to be a really cool game when they are young. Most 2 year olds have a lot of energy. Most grow out of it. 2 Years olds love to be praised. My son is 14, and compared to the rest of the kids where I live. He is a good boy. I taught him to respect women, and not drink alcohol or use illegal drugs. He obeys the law. One thing about ADHD kids with good raising once you get a point across and it sinks in there there stubborn brain they don't forget it. These kids are the leaders not the followers. Good Luck. Name: billybob Country: usa Comment: ok ''someone''i cant beleive you i feel so bad for your poor kids i beleive in spanking but you went over the top!!!!!!!! Name: Didi Country: australia Comment: My sister spanks her troublesome 2 year old daughter, only to be smacked back by the child! We have found spanking to be quite ineffective, yet when we try withdrawing priviledges such as her toys, she screams and often vomits, making it too distressing for the parents to continue the discipline. There seems to be no solution(?) Are the parents just too 'soft'? Name: goci Country: malta Comment: " Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will never depart from it" - Proverbs 22:6 (Bible) THIS DOES NOT MEAN "SPANK YOUR CHILD!" but train him up with love i.e. show him with love which is without having your child harmed. You should check out the gospel.Love one another... How did Jesus treat children? Name: Jen Country: aahamas Comment: My kids know that if they are bad they will go across my knee bare bottomed and get the spanking they deserve. They are 9, 5, and 3. Name: karimi Country: kenya Comment: i don't think spanking kids is wrong, at all.but some people tend to take it to the extreme- that's wrong. African children are so well behaved bcoz of physical punishment- but pple need to learn to draw the line between that and abuse, which is not fair to the child. Name: Dave Country: usa Comment: Wow, How did some of you sick people find a site like this that could have been so helpful to some of us with real problems that need adressing. My 4 year old just started acting up and we do the Time Outs, we make sure he's looking us in the eyes when we talk to him about his misbehaving and i made a Naughty Box that his toys go in when he misbehaves or when him doesn't pick up his toys. Name: unknown Country: canada Comment: WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOME OF YOU PEOPLE! some of you need SERIOUS help! who the hell would hit their child in the face, or throw them down stairs or take away food! spanking is ok if its appropriate but some of you should have your children taken away and maby YOU get treated the way you treated your kids, then you'd see how it feels! your sick in the head! Name: confused Country: usa Comment: i was wondering what to do with my 4 year old little girl. i have tried yelling at her, taking toys, banning her from tv, grounding her and nothing seems to help. i really need help to figure out how to punish her. please help. Name: Nurse Country: usa Comment: One more thing personally I think Bertha needs help now...I feel sorry for whoever has to deal with her. Name: Nurse Country: usa Comment: You know some of you people on here don't deserve children.I think you are sick in the head for thinking you should beat your child into submission.Frankly I believe that children need guidence,,,but the "Positive" kind. For those of you that do beat your kids please get help before it's too late.Children are a gift from God and should not be Hurt in any way.They look up to us for many things including love not Hate. So please try to instill love to your children.When they grow up you will reap the benefits. Name: Amanda Country: usa Comment: i think that beating your child is ok to a point. if they did something bad or they didn't listen they deserve it but doing it for no reason thats child abuse. i think that discipling your child teaches them it shows them respect and more so teaches them self discipline. Name: ctk Country: india Comment: Many times children do such things that beating them remains only option left. But it should be rare. Otherwise children become addictive to it so much so that they require these doses daily 3 or 4 times. Name: Kelly Christine Country: usa Comment: Although old-fashioned somehow, I do believe that a good hard wooden hairbrushing on bare over mom's lap can do to any spoiled brat a world of good. That's how I use to run things around, and have never regret it! Name: lost Country: usa Comment: I do not like to hit my child, but sometimes you need to punish them and shock is the only way you can get their attention. If you scream, they ignore you. Sometimes the shock of a spanking, only on their bottom and only with your hand, is the only way you can make them see that they are doing wrong. I do not believe you need to beat a child into submission. Children learn from their mistakes and if no one tells them they are wrong, then they don't know. My child is well behaived, but sometimes I spank her, but I always tell her why and I make sure to tell her that I love her and I do not like to hit her, but I can't get her to stop being bad, so I have no choice. Most of the time I never have to spank her for the same thing again. Children are a treasure, not a hitting post. Name: B Country: usa Comment: I think that its okay to spank your child but not all the time the pain will go away but the problem will always be there until you sit down and talk to them. I am 14 and i can tell you the truth. Spanking the child only teaches them to not get caught the next time, nothing else. Name: Lynn Country: kenya Comment: Spanking a child is wrong,first before doing it you yourself make sure you are sane and have no anger at all.Call them by name little strokes on the palm while talking and explaining why, then give them a hug and show them where it is written in the Bible, tell them you love them too.BUT remember are you perfect or do you have similar problems in your being? are you well behaved than tnem? think twice be a role model. Name: Michelle Country: usa Comment: I believe that spankings are for certain punishments like, going into the rode, or kicking and screaming at you for no reason, so i give them a reason to cry by spanking and sometimes that is not enough. i then will go a little further by taking their toys away for a week at a time or longer. A real key to parenting a rebelious child is to be patient and put them in a room to throw a fit and soon they will relize that being all alone is not what they want so they will start behaving, and you have to remember that not all children are the same so find out what works for you. Name: Nsonge Country: zambia Comment: I think spanking to disciplne is ok. Do not spank to make your child bleed.Most of African children are well bahaved because of their parents's discipline. When I went to the USA,I witnessed a 3years old child swearing and stamping his feet so angrily. I'd never let my child go beyond such an extrem. Abusive language should not be tolerated especially to a growing toddler. Come to Afirca and you'll see what am talking about. Don't spank to kill but in moderation and not every time. A child should feel and know that you really mean spanking when you're giving a warning. Do not spoil your children it's better you do the disciplie yourself than taking your child to a concentration camp. Name: Clarice Country: usa Comment: I came to this site to get help with discipline. Instead I got everyones point of veiws on whether it's right or wrong. How about some helpful advice? Thanks to the few that did give helpful advice.VERY FEW!! Name: jyothi Country: india Comment: i think what uve given can be told a child who is 6 or 7 years old but how to deal with child who is 2plus and hyper active let me know Name: Hercules Country: greece Comment: I think spanking is unneccesary you should talk this over with your child and use something such as grounding Name: sally Country: usa Comment: i think that you should not ground your child it wont help them any. you should maybe talk it over with them and find out what they think about it and what you think about it and compare them and find something in the middle. Name: jajoo2 .a Country: latvia Comment: i believe every family have the right to punish their kids when it is nessacery Name: roseann Country: usa Comment: What do you do when your child begins to push and dare you to spank him because he will call the police? He has stolen, intimidates younger children, and manipulates adults around him.The lawyer says I am stuck in "my" tradition Name: Jeannine Country: usa Comment: Yes, i believe in spanking plain and simple. In our house if our children have been acting up or have done something entirely wrong, they will get a "good spanking". One thing i never do is threaten them with a spanking then not administer the spanking as a consequence. If i say they are going to be spanked, they can count on being spanked. Name: Aimee & Jake:) Country: Canada Comment: I'm currently sitting in a 5th period class on a Friday afternoon, and some of these comments made me laugh, so thankyou for making the time pass by faster. However, some of your comments I hope are truley just jokes. Or there really are some sick sick stupid people out there. Come on people, dont hit your kids, its not worth the jail time.and it teaches them violence, we have enough problems in this world lets atleast keep our homes happy places Name: dr.n.sivakumar Country: India Comment: Bach flower therapy is a good solution for all behavioural problems. With proper usage of correct flower remedy one can transform the negative unwanted qualities from a child to its opposite positive quality. Name: Neco.Fresien Country: Canada Comment: This to all of you my be to what you think , but it's very important and a cool site to look for information , thank you . Name: Lauren Country: Australia Comment: I believe in spanking your children every now and then, not because you are angry or have had a bad day but if they are miss behaving and you have tried everything else and they just wont stop. The government and other people complain about how children/adolescence these days are getting worse and worse but they are actually the people whom, took away a parents ability to disipline their own child. Now by that I dont agree with bashin a child is correct and who ever does that should be sentenced to jail because it is plan wrong. But a little slap on the bottom or a tap on the hand and a very stern NO!!! or IF YOU DO THAT ONCE MORE is enough most of the time for me. You should have the choive on whow to disapline your child as long as you are not belting the hell out of them and they are told why they are getting spanked. I dont have any children but I have grown up in a large family and have a lot of siblings whom spank (some of the time) their children sometimes it does work other times it does not! I find when I growl at the children and say NOW I HAVE TOLD YOU 2 TIMES IF I HAVE TO SAY IT A 3RD TIME YOU WILL GO TO TIME OUT OR YOUR PARENTS WILL COME HAVE TO HAVE A CHAT TO YOU it generally works! I have never spanked (slapped) or even hurt one of my neice's and nephew's once mind you i did pinch my younges neice as she threw a ball at my face and was being cheeky but once i piched her on the arm (gently i might add) she stopped it immediately and hasnt mis behaved since! I think it is the individuals choice whether to spank or not to spank! Name: meaza Country: Kenya Comment: i believe in spanking a child especially if he or she is a rebellian. Name: mv Country: Other Comment: As my father always said "i discipline you becasue i love you and someday you will thank me for it." and it turned out right. Name: Jessica Country: USA Comment: I feel that to SPANK a child as long as you limit it to three SWATS is okay. I feel that if you beat a child it only shows that child that when all else fails resort to violence. We need to remember as adults we still learn new things on a daily basis so think of how simple a childs mind is. They don't need to simply learn that what they are doing is wrong but why and what would be a more appropriate action for them. What do we expect of children with all they they are exposed to? We can not shelter them, but we can teach them how to be productive well centered adults who can funtion and know the difference between right and wrong. We also need to teach them how to deal with and solve any problems they come across in a way that is posotive. Name: Jiajia Country: Other Comment: As for me, I think that it is indeed necessary for parents to discipline their children and it is also feasible for them to resort to certain moderate punishment when a child misbehaves. 1. Parents have duty to teach kids right from wrong and justifiable punishments are more or less useful. 2. A moderate punishment is probably to teach children a lesson and to prevent similar mistakes from reoccurring. Name: Victoria Boswell Country: USA Comment: When I had my first child I was very strict. Now that i have three I find myself overlooking a lot of things they do. My husband says I let them get away with everything. Name: Talisa Warnes of Alex Hills,Brisbane Country: Australia Comment: Tracy Moore, Why should you have to beat up your kids to get there attention. I'm 16 years old and i do believe in discipline but beating up your kids is wrong, if you want your child's attention talk to them in a nice way not beating there ass. What about if you fully bashed up your kid and killed it. Have you ever really considered bashing up your child/chilren. By the way that is considered child abuse. HAVE A THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY KILL AN INNOCENT CHILD Name: Cameron Country: Australia Comment: Hey Jose Chavez You are a one time loser. Obviously you don't knoe the first thing about children. Why don't you get some real advice. Name: Amy Country: Canada Comment: look im studing parenting at school and i dont't think beating a kid is right. You should NOT beat there A**, that is like so wrong. Name: Bec Country: Australia Comment: All children need a role modal for example Britney Spears Name: Zara Country: England Comment: I think that different children need different discipline, tailored to their personality. My son responded to just a raised voice, for example, whereas my daughter only responded to my slipper on her bottom (or the threat of it). She's 14 now and so too old for the slipper, but it certainly did the trick in her younger years and now she is very well behaved. Name: julie Country: USA Comment: I dont think that you should spank your child all the time.But there are some children that no matter how you talk to them they still rebal.so what do you do for kids like this... Name: linsi.kearney Country: England Comment: this a graet site, thankyoum for all your help Name: G.Bush Country: USA Comment: i have 2 children, and currently i slap when they are rude or misbehave, many people tell me i should hit them hard but i dont know what to do.. what do you think of a cattle prod? Name: Loretta Country: USA Comment: Thank you for a great web site. Name: Adrian salas Country: USA Comment: Thank you for a great web site. Name: M Country: England Comment: Thila-nicely said Name: Thila Country: Malaysia Comment: Disiplining a child is important but using violence method is not the solution. Nowadays kids are more alert then those days and since we are in technology era, our method of educating children is also has to be changed accordingly. Name: M Country: England Comment: All you lot that are saying 2 beat them up - I am 13 yrs old and if my mum would do that 2 me i would have 2 run away. I do get disciplined and i do agree with it but to really hurt your child is morally wrong. What sort of ppl r u anyway? I would not let any children within a mile of your house! Name: H Country: Japan Comment: ithink disciplining your children is right but you shouldn't need to resort to violence. Name: Lauren Country: England Comment: I think that it is acceptable to dicipline your children but there is a right time and place for it and violence/ stress shouldnt be took out on children Name: monster mash Country: India Comment: yes therer it is Name: Juan Country: Other Comment: I agree with discipling children as i think they will turn out to be dustmen if you don't and i do not wish for my child to become a dustbin man. I do not agree with this site infact i am going to make an opposite site right away for people who want tips on how to be a good disciplining parent! Name: ellie Country: England Comment: Thank you for a wonderful web site.Punishment can never be a solution to enculcate discipline Name: keely Country: Mauritius Comment: be nice Name: jojo Country: India Comment: children should be taught to respect not just others but firstly himself Name: Anita Desai Country: India Comment: Very impressed by the part on Parenting - Discipline. We could add on the manners part - a child should wish elders or youngers, good evening aunty or hello ravi, goodnight aunty or bye pooja, I'll see you tomorrow. How do we handle something lik this, I haven't been able to teach my daughter. Name: lalit Country: India Comment: In first place lemme thank the author for a nice article. What article provides is a braoder guideline on how to inculcate discipline in your child. And yes, as some of the friends have responded, there are two keys to do this according to my opinion: 1. Setting example!! (Remeber, child will invariably follow is parents action) 2. Using positive communication (as said by Abhilasha) and always making your child understand why a particular act of his/hers is good or not good. Please remember friends - shouting, scolding or any other similar effort to make your child learn discipline will not take you even one step further!!! Name: mommmy maa Country: Other Comment: how can u really make a 1&half year learn manners. any suggestions Name: Anshu Country: India Comment: Parents must understand if they want their child to behave in certain manner, firstly they must set an example. As child learns most of the things by observing, if parents are behaving with each other and with the child in good manner, he will automatically follow the same behaviour. So, practice what you preach is the rule here. Name: Charlotte Country: India Comment: Parents should have patients which in turn help them to understand the child and also make the child understand the importance of the matter. Name: Ruby Country: USA Comment: Please read the following book and then decide. I believe their advice is universal. I am amazed at the results I have achieved by following their advice. Here is the title: How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish You MUST read this. It really makes sense and it works. Name: anju Country: India Comment: Strictness and leniency are relative terms. The degree of strictness and leniency to be imposed on children varies from children to children and therefore wrong to generalise. It is a difficult task for the parents to balance between both specially in case of single child, where both the parents are always focussing their attention on the child. This leads to overindulgence and parents themselves are confused regarding what is right and what is wrong. Name: sangeeta Country: India Comment: Teaching a child discipline is a job requiring great patience, observance & ability to behave correctly with the child in different situations. Though it is a continuous learning process, the basic discipline that the child learns at home pays him/her throughout life. Name: Surabhi Country: India Comment: Punishment can never be a solution to enculcate discipline. It is very rightly given in the article that the child must be ashamed of his own wrong doing, only then he/she would not repeat the same in future. Name: Naresh Country: India Comment: " Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will never depart from it" - Proverbs 22:6 (Bible) Name: abhilasha Country: India Comment: thanks for the fantastic site.i truly beleive that one should always explain to their kids and then enforce the rules and never ever in public scold your kids.use words like,' your action makes mummy very sad so please don't do that'.avoid words like bad girl ,angry,stupid kid,dum etc.for you never know how soon they can pick these words up and use them Name: Loretta Country: USA Comment: Thank you for a wonderful web site. I believe that disciline goes hand in hand with training. If a child is clumsy and spills a glass of water, then he shouldn't be punished, but he must be trained to quickly and quietly clean up the mess and make amends to those he inconvenienced. This training works to foster, responsibility and self-reliance and concern for others. I tried to give punishment only for acts of defiance or danger. Name: maya Country: India Comment: It is important not to put your child down in front of others as far as possible. This weakens his or her confidence. Often it is the warning that the punishment will be in front of the others present that brings about the discipline! Name: Priya Country: India Comment: I feel to provide the right kind of discipline both the parents should take the same stand atleast in front of the children. They can express their differences when the kids are not around or else they tend to get confused and think that they can get their way with one of them. Name: Mona Country: India Comment: It is clear that there cannot be one view on the issue. It is important to be balanced. One has to be soft while saying something important, at the same time be strict enough to make them understand the inportance of the matter. Name: Govind Country: Dubai Comment: Usually, it always happens that parents have to balance disciplining the child. Because if the mother is too strict, then the father lands up being the softie, or vice versa, and rightly so. I think it is a matter of adjustment, and understanding. Name: madhu Country: India Comment: People often confuse discipline and with cold-heartedness. They think just because you are strict, you are not loving. Just because you ask your kids to do something and stick by your word, your hearth does not melt easily. But it does melt, except that you do not want it to show it to your kids. Because once they figure out your weak spot, they will play on it, time and time agin. Name: Samir Jain Country: India Comment: I though I would be a very strict father because my father was very strict and I turned out OK. But that didn't happen. My wife is more strict my my children than me. And I am considered a lenient father!
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