Views on Article - The Working Mother

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Name: ashleymaui
Country: U.A.E.
Comment:
hello...Im a mother to be soon...For sure when my baby is come, I dont want to leave him alone...but I want to have a home base job...Can you help me get a home base job here in Abu Dhabi...I am a very good employee and willing to do anything for my employer..Thank you so much

Name: sgdedhtduj
Country: India
Comment:
The disadvantages In the long run, in a situation where both parents are working and not spending enough time with their children, it can have an adverse effect on the child's development. Dr. Mehrotra feels, "Children may feel neglected and seek stimulation outside the house. Servants can look after a child's basic needs, but they cannot be responsible for the child's intellectual, social and emotional development." In her experience, Dr. Mehrotra has found that very often, mothers who have to go back to work are not happy leaving their child at such a young age. They feel guilty and anxious and their anxiety is transmitted to the child. The mother will phone home ten times a day to find out what is happening and try to give instructions over the phone. This can make the whole family develop neurotic tendencies. "When a mother is anxious, she makes everybody anxious." "Often working mothers succumb to children's demands very easily because they feel guilty. They feel that they can compensate for their absence by giving their children money. But a child's needs are not material. Children want warmth and emotional security," says Dr. Mehrotra. Probably the best thing for women to do if they want to work is to either work part-time or to get a job that has flexi-hours or to work freelance. However, in cases where mothers have no family at home to leave their children with, a good creche may be an option to consider. Ideally, a person running a creche will be educated and experienced with children and definitely a better option than leaving children to their own devices or with servants. But mothers must be very careful about checking the credentials of the person running the creche and speak to parents of other children in the creche before they take a decision to send their child to one.

Name: depressed mom
Country: India
Comment:
Hi i am a mother of 9 months old daughter. its becoming really difficult for me to leave my daughter with maid and going to office. i cant leave the job beacuse of financial reasons . i have done BE . Can somebody suggests me PARTTIME or work from home options in Delhi NCR region

Name: Sarita
Country: India
Comment:
After keeping my daughter with my in-laws for 21/2 years, i have started keeping her in creche. The creche is good. Though she cries before going there the time she is at creche she never cries. I have been following up with the creche over phone and i get positive feedback. But still my child is reluctant to go there. I can make it out from her behaviour. I feel so guilty that at times i feel like quitting my job and be with her. But that is not possible. Seeing the child doing something against her wish is so painful. What do i do?

Name: padma
Country: India
Comment:
Being a mother of two kids aged 10 and 6 and away from home some 200 kms ,able to see the kids only during weekends, it is really difficult to hopeup withthe situation.please provide some information about how i can be a good mother

Name: mom of 3
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
everybody needs a life outside the house. even your toddler [especially your toddler]. couple of days a week with kids his/her own age does wonders to a child's confidence and interactive skills. the child grows more tolerant,learns to share, and mentally and emotionally develops much faster than if he is cooped up at home all day, everyday. few hours a week would be good. but, if are working 50-60 hours/week and somebody else cares for that child the whole time,and you are too exhausted when you get home to provide fresh and nutritious food, spend time [that you don't have] with the child, that is a terrible injustice.

Name: mom of 3
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
i know women who do exactly what she said.. chores around the house.. feed,bathe the child.. maybe hold them a little, but are very impersonal about it because there is always stuff to do around the house [it never ends] and they don't connect or cherish the time with the child. [again, not all, but, some mothers are that way]then, there are some house-wives who don't even do much house-work, but, still manage to neglect the child. let me tell you this,the more you do, the more you CAN do. ORGANIZATION is the secret to doing it all. an organized, efficient and energetic person can do more in a couple of hours than some people do all week. people who fit in the "couple of hours" category know exactly what i'm talking about. we can do it all, as long as we find that balance that everybody seems to be talking about lately.

Name: mom of 3
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
the solution is different for different professions, but, if you AND/OR your husband is able to [1]do fewer hours/days [2]work from home [3]work a few hours during the weekEND when the spouse is with the child, instead of one of the weekdays [4]work close to home/day care and spend lunch-hour with the child.. etcetc you may be able to work this out. since my husband is not able to cut down on hours at his job,working 1-2 days a week till the kids are in 1st grade feels right for me. when they ARE in 1st grade,i might still want to do 1-2 days. we'll play it by ear. we have some financial needs that need to be met [not luxuries by any standards, but needs] but, there you have it. everybody needs to work hard at finding that balance in all aspects of life. isn't that what we are all trying to do? whether we are aware of it or not? some of us are lucky enough to find it, some are not, due to circumstances. who are we to judge?

Name: mom of 3
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
hey "REAL MOM" from USA and "aishwarya" from india.. shades of gray!! there are no absolutes in life. who's to say that a mother absolutely should OR should not work?! EVERYBODY'S life is DIfferent. there are financial problems, there are certain careers that most definitely will never take off if the woman takes a few years off from work. should the many,many years of toil on the woman's part towards her education and career go wasted because people seem to think that a baby is 100% a woman's responsibility? there are so many things to be considered. [CONTINUED]

Name: hjjk
Country: India
Comment:
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Name: Renu
Country: India
Comment:
Iam from a very middle class. I was good at studies so I could make it out to a good job. I left job when my son was born and took a break for a year. My husband was lower middle class. we both want our child to get all those things particularly good school ( we went to a muncipality school). We can afford many good thngs for him if we both work, as we have other responsubilties as well. what i feel that his physical needs are met , my in law-s take care of him. but the relationship of in mOTHER IN LAW AND FATHER IN LAW IS NOT GOOD, SO IT TROUBLES ME ALOT, AS IT WILL IMPACT GROWTH OF MY SON. I WANT THE SECOND KID BUT IN LAWS ARE VERY CONSERVATIVE AND DONOT ALLOW SERVANTS AT HOME. WHATHER IN SUCH SITUATIONS, I SHD GO FOR A 2ND KID IS VERY DIFFICULT DECISON FOR ME. PLS HELP

Name: G
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I am 7 months pregnant and my husband insists I do a job. I am confused should I start doing the job now, which will take care of my baby. I spend hrs reading, don’t get enough rest is it right what I am doing? Someone please advice

Name: irfan
Country: India
Comment:
i think a person should balance the thinks,and also a working mother should not feel anxious and let is pass to the family and the baby,if the mother can can manage both job and doing the job then she should do the job ,otherwise she can just simply leave the job and take care of baby,and also depends how the baby is coping up with the situation,and lastly but very important that fathers should also contribute hugely in child's care so that the pressure on the mothers is reduced and simultaneously the baby also gets care,so bringing up baby should be collective effort of both mother an father.

Name: me a mommy
Country: India
Comment:
yes! I too go thru this emotional trauma when I return from work after a 12-14 hrs stint from my high pressure job. I chucked up my govt job for a private one for pure economic reasons knowing well that family will be put on back burner. Although my husband cooperates me in this I cannot take it as a right. when my son says mommy be there to pick me up when I come home it really pinches me hard. when I find that he has fever but I still have to leave him at crech i die a hundred deaths. my sons social behaviour also is taking its toll. although he is very nice and adjusting child at the end of the day he is just a normal child with tantrums. I succumb to guilt. Although Im able to provide all the good things in life I am most depressed all the time. I love to be with my child. gone are the days when I used to think that women should work be independent and other stuff. I prefer flexi hours which are not available in our field. and at this stage I cannot leave the job also. Iam at cross roads.

Name: Rani
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
iam three years old daughter mother. i feel very bad when i came from home my daughter waiting for me. when she saw me she almost crying because i go for job five o'clock in the morning and come back two o'clock.i leave my daugher with my mother friend so she stay with her without bath and some time no proper cloth i really feel gulity for her but i don't have any choice.

Name: Depressed
Country: Malaysia
Comment:
I am a government servant and work 8-9 hours a day on average, and I went back to work 4 months after my baby was born. She's 4 years old now and I have been leaving her with a maid who's educated and is able to interact well. The only worry is that sometimes she seems to cling to the maid especially at mealtimes-and that's because the maid is the one who's feeding her most of the time. She also refuses to let me bottle-feed her. However, she likes to play with me. During the weekends, when I'm at home the whole day, she is more attached to me. Nevertheless, in a nutshell,I think she's closer to the maid as she knows the maid is always available whenever she needs her, but mummy is missing many hours a day and there is nothing that she derives from me during those hours I'm missing. I feel really depressed about this. No amount of money can buy the love of a child, so for those of you who are at the crossroads, thinking about leaving your child behind and returning to work: please weigh the pros and cons carefully, considering your financial status and how important the job is to you before taking the plunge. Once you're already working, it may be too late to get out of the system, you grow dependent on the job-it's a trap, at least to me.

Name: Aishwarya
Country: India
Comment:
If fathers can work then even mothers have full right!! And as far as children are concerned, this is the right time when children learn to be independent and learn to take responsibilities. Just imagine in India all children are educated, even our mothers are educated and their parents to have made efforts to send them to schools, so do you think these efforts should go waste! Not only for money as such but should mothers work to express their feelings and achieve their rights. Not only that, even the government of India says that all women (mothers) have equal right to work. And so I will conclude that all mothers should work.

Name: from kerala
Country: Australia
Comment:
prithviraj

Name: real mommy
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
let's face the facts....babies and children want and need their mommies. they need them everyday all day and night. don't have them if you are going to ship them off to be raised. people don't WANT to be with their children. it's too much work and too inconvenient. so sad that people have kids.....i am sure if babies could speak they would beg you to love, cuddle and just be there for them each and every day. they crave and thrive on QUANTITY. we are ruining our children in our society. they are deprived of time and love each time they are shipped off. i taught elementary school for 11 years before becoming a full time mother of 2. I saw the effects of time deprived children. oh how sad and needy they were. trust me....it's easier to go out to work than raise children, BUT it's worth every minute. be careful...you reap what you sow. if you put your time in (QUALITY AND QUANTITY) you will raise a nice family. we have only started to see the effects on non-parental care for our children in our society. cut back on those material posessions and stay home with the kids. children don't care about money, they care about being loved and cared for by their parents (especially the mother early on). Wake up and face the facts...chances are if you are feeling guilty, you should be. oh and the next time you dump your kid off to be raised by someone else and you are feeling so "brokenhearted", well just imagine how your kid feels being dumped off. you had them now raise them!!

Name: Namita
Country: India
Comment:
What is the fun of writing when u don't allow them to appear ?

Name: neha
Country: India
Comment:
i think working is very important for all educated mothers. however in India there is no system of working for part time job or for work on hourly basis in various sectors like engg etc. We should have the system of working from home, or work for parttime or on hourly basis etc. for working mothers.

Name: Jenny
Country: U.S.A.
Comment:
I would love to learn more about creches at the workplace. Are there creche companies who do this frequently? Do you know of any companies who provide care onsite for their employees? Thanks!

Name: BHUPENDRA MUDGAL
Country: India
Comment:
NOW IT IS THE NEED OF SOCIETY THAT WOMEN SHOULD ALSO WORK LIKE MAN. IT IS THE VIEW OF OLD TIME THAT WOMEN ARE MEANT FOR HOME. IF WE WANT TO UPLIFT THE CONDITION OF A WOMAN WE SHOULD GIVE A PROPER PLACE TO HER IN THE SOCIETY. DEMAND OF 30 % RESERVATION FOR WOMEN IS THE WAY WHICH CAN FULFILL THE NEEDS OF A WOMAN.

Name: sarika
Country: United Kingdom
Comment:
I am an Indiannational who migrated hre in my teens . My husband is also somewhat the same -he also migrated here from India -fiven this our families are here . I quit a rising and successful career -I terminated my contract at 5 months of pregnancy and did bnot work till my son was 2 . I donot regret that break but it was har going back to work again . Now my son is 8 , and I have been working for the past six years with minimal problems . Our famailies have returned to India so life is also not all that convinent . But working me has made my son a very Independent person. I do spend at leat 4 hours a day with him taking care of his studies and his issues that he faces in school . I am proud to say that I have managed a job and brought up a child and raised a happy family .

Name: Monika
Country: India
Comment:
Very useful and though provoking article. Working Mothers life is ofcourse tough. You only end up sqeezing evrybody's needs including your childs. in-laws, parents,husband in that small band of 5-6 hours per day that are spent at home. No matter a creche or granparents or servants, nothing can be a better substitute to a mother. The only way out is to spend GOOD Quality Time and try schdeule your child's routine so that he/she is awake during that 5-6 hours.

Name: MSM
Country: India
Comment:
If these external factors work for you: * You have a good place/people to leave your child with.. * Your husband helps you with the baby * You have a good job oppurtunity - * You are happy - managing both home and work and being very busy... WOMEN MUST WORK. Non-working mothers not only have kids who depend on them.. but the mother slowly start depending on their kids too. During the growing up phase, the mother starts depending on the baby for being busy with the childs needs. Kids grow up and spend 6-7 hrs in school. And the kid now does not require the mother that much.. and it is about 3-4 years - so the industry does not need the employee anymore too.. SO SHE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE- it is important to work. Work out whatever is possible to keep you going. It is tough initially but it is worth the effort. IT IS WORTH YOUR LIFE (which is sometimes a couple of months, years, or in most cases entire life).

Name: sangeeta
Country: India
Comment:
if there is no financial crisis amother should not work atleast for one year, this is the time when your baby needs you most.

Name: waheeda
Country: India
Comment:
why do we feel that the responsibility of bringing up the cild only lies on the monther alone? Baby needs both mother as well as father for the emotional and intellectual development. I have a 7 years old daughter and a 13 month old son. I am a working mother who is dependent on the servants from 11.00 am to 5.00 pm . but we see to it that both of us are there for the babies rest of the time. I went for work leaving a 4 month old back home. But my daughter is growing up as a intellignet, very matured, emotionally balanced and sharing girl.

Name: Urmi
Country: india
Comment:
I am a working mother as my mother was. And have not faced any problem so far in raising my baby. Though she is still a baby she already knows when ma leaves and comes back and can mix with others freely.

Name: Sidra
Country: india
Comment:
I have been working since my son was 4 months old. I think & believe that a woman should be independent - financially. I agree that family support is most important for a working mother & i also understand the role & importance of a grandparent. My husband & i both take equal responsibility in bringing up our son. He feeds him, bathes him & puts him to sleep also. This is a very big help. This way our child is close to both his parents. Even though there may be days when i feel pangs of guilt, i try to spend enough quality time with my son. It can be reading a story or playing with him & his cars or singing nursery rhymes. He's two years old & we enjoy taking him out with us - whether its grocery shopping or to the beach. Parents -and the word includes mother & father - have a joint responsibility of bringing up the child & instilling good values. I dont believe that only stay -at home mom's can be good mothers. whats important is to create a loving atosmophere at home, spend time with the child which he can relish & be positive in your approach. also please dont get worried or get eaten by guilt - its useless.

Name: bhavna
Country: india
Comment:
i have a 41/2 yr old baby boy. i am not vry much carreer oriented now. i was wrking with anz grindlays bank but left my job whn i hd my baby as he was born aftr 5yrs of my marriage . but hd to start wrking again aftr 2yrs due to financial crisis at home . i feelguilty abt nt gving all my attntn to my chld .and i can see it ds affect the child also. i am wrking in a bpo ,doing night shifts. pls advice what to do. i wud luv to do part time job or some part time busnss, but have no clue as to what to do.

Name: Tony S
Country: india
Comment:
It is a v. useful article. Encourages more women to start working or go back to work. Sometimes the so called familial support can be a bane than a boon. This is because the MIL tries to come in between the mother and the baby even when they try to bond. So it is better the baby goes to a good day care center where he can interact with other kids of his age. Also the mother should enjoy all the milestones in her baby's life. So the ideal time is to go to work after the baby turns 1 year.

Name: Nancy
Country: united kingdom
Comment:
All children are different.It is very difficult to tell how long it will take for your daughter to get used to your parents. I feel the best way is to start earlier on to involve your parents in looking after her and may be after a few weeks, try to leave her for one hour and return. This will give you an idea is to how your daughter is coping in your absence. The last this you want to do is to leave your daughter without her intinal contact with your parents before returning to work.

Name: MOM IN A DILEMA
Country: india
Comment:
I am a mother of a 7 month old baby and want to get back to work. My problem is that since I have been the only person looking after her since she was born my baby has suddenly become very clingy towards me and doesnt go to anybody..I am planing to start working in 2 months time and am really worried about how its going to effect her. My parents will be at home to look after her but I would like to know from other moms..How much time does a baby usually take to adjust to a day care or an environment where I am not around...Please reply..

Name: imelda gutierrez
Country: usa
Comment:
its true that most motheres afect there children divelopment but its not always true it all dipends on who is the person taking kear of the chid becous my mothere has taken kear of lots of babys for a long time and all of them show a stong development and the one that she is taking kear of rght now is showing a really good development she is so smart she is only 8 month.love always la twinkey if you whant to know more you can reach me at www.baby_twinkey89@yahoo.com

Name: Lata Giri
Country: india
Comment:
I think it is very true that being a mother is really a very responsible designation, but the women can carry on with her job if their Company have the creche inside there premises. I am already doing it in Chandigarh. My creches are running in corporates

Name: Hiba
Country: lebanon
Comment:
The article is fairly good but I think Dr.Mehrotra should have elaborated more and listed more disadvantages

Name: SAMIUDDIN
Country: united kingdom
Comment:
I THINK THAT IF MOTHER WNATS TO GIVE TIME TO HER CHILD SHE CAN MANAGE TIME WITH HER JOB.EMPLOYERS UNDERSTAND IT.

Name: DJK
Country: india
Comment:
The article is good and informative. I firmly believe that every individual should work and be productive not only for economic reason but also for the personal independence and satisfaction. As the social and economic order changes one has to adapt to these changes. Therefore the choice is not between to work or not to work. One needs to be more prudent in balancing all aspects of life rather that finiding reasons for not able to cope with demanding schedules and here the issue of priortization comes. Family is important and pivotal and the responsibility lies with both man and woman rather than only on woman. So it should not become an excuse to sacrifice an earning in the name of family. Children needs quality time with their parents and they have to priortise accordingly. I know many women who threw away their job for the sake of their child which has essentially not added much to the very objective, instead lost the edge in the economic sense and more so in the family stability putting pressure on the men. As a family a consciuos decision has to taken by both spouses what level of involvement should each one partake in each aspect at every stage of life so that the balance is maintained rather than being emotional and taking a single side view with short horizon.

Name: hafizi
Country: malaysia
Comment:
i think women should be allowed to work..Nowadays women could whatever men do...even sometimes they do better than us...so why sould we waste their abilities? Right?

Name: Vasudha Borkar
Country: india
Comment:
I have gonethru this site and its wonderful. I have some querries, can u help please.I am a working women. I switched from a fulltime hectic job to a flexitime (5 hrs daily + 2 hrs travelling)when my daughter Isha was 3.7 years old as I felt she was getting aggressive and needed me more. But the current job time although flexi, the situation remains unchanged.Pl. suggest

Name: A mother
Country: usa
Comment:
I feel a mother should take care of a child in the initial years if she doesn't have family. Only family can take care of the child lovingly and daycare cannot replace it.The career can be given a pause and after sometime they can go back to work. The best babysitters definitely are the grandparents but few are lucky enough to have helpful in-laws in this matter.

Name: Nidhi
Country: usa
Comment:
Being working mom from day one since

Name: Meenu Kumar
Country: india
Comment:
I think the term working woman is

Name: Meeun Kumar
Country: india
Comment:
I think

Name: Swarnali
Country: india
Comment:
Can anybody give me some addresses of creches at Vaishali region, Ghaziabad?

Name: Paromita
Country: india
Comment:
Being a working mom is demanding. My 2year old son clings to me after I return home but the fact that the mother is out with a life and aspirations of her own, inculcates the same feelings in the kid and also teaches them to respect her as an individual. The article is good.. It would be helpful if some "Work from home" options are detailed out..

Name: Meenu Kumar
Country: india
Comment:
I think the term working mother is derogatory. A woman is the only one who can deliver the child to complete the family. Since she any way bears it all happily for atleast one whole year of pregnancy, why should she be expected to not move with her life normally after the child is born. If she does the best for the family, physically & emotionally, why should she feel any guilt in returning to work as soon as she can. I blame the society & our value system for never letting a married woman have the growth that she deserves as an individual. I feel that a person who is in charge of her life with respect for their own needs is the kind of mom that any child needs. Your child will learn more about love from the love you have for yourself & your life, not from the sacrifices you make for what you desire.

Name: uhteen
Country: kuwait
Comment:
please elaborate all kinds of information.it is a very good site

Name: priti patel
Country: USA
Comment:
This site is good for working mom as well as for mom who staying at home all the time because Dr. Mehrotra explains how we spend quality time with our children. Nevertheless, she did not give us any example for quality time, what is quality time? How she said quality time? She has to be specific about quality time with giving an example about quality time.

Name: Radhika
Country: India
Comment:
I have a 4 month old and i got back to work 3 weeks back. I have left my daughter to my MIL and in the evenings I see to it that I spend all my time with her. I feel very sad that I have to miss those precious moments of being with my baby and go to work for money. I'd feel even more miserable if the kid gives attention to her g'parents than to me....I am feeling very insecure about this....

Name: patricia
Country: USA
Comment:
I think too many times we lie to ourselves about what it is to have children. It is difficult to feel fulfilled snd also know we are responsible for the well being of our children. The process of bonding for children is profoundly shaping in their growth -physically and psychologically. The problem is we are often struggling to get our needs met and this takes priority over what is best for our children. I found that being very honest with myself,about my finances and my need for affirmation, I found the greatest peace in knowing what is best for my child. Good luck in your own soul searching!

Name: DMP
Country: India
Comment:
THe article should be a little elaborate, Examples of quality time spend. A working mom sometimes has to call up ten times a day. She is not anxious but seeing to it that the servant has done all the jobs needed for looking at the child like putting the rice & dal cooker, made vegatable and that to at the proper time or lets say the alloted time. thereafter 4-5p.m small eat and milk then dropped her to the park. As a working mother i do not pass my anxiousness. Thereare times the child does not listen to the maid, throws tantrums this is when the phone call helps. There is no one compartmentalised solution. Remember there is a solution to every problem. Try and work out the siuation to ur and the child's advantage.

Name: Pooja
Country: India
Comment:
The article written by Dr.Dr. Mehrotra, is very good, i found this site very informative. I am also working mother of 2 years ols baby girl. her grand parents are taking care of her when i am away from home, i usually gets around 1-2 hours of time daily to spend with her,even than she is very much attached to me. You statment is very correct that child is always deeply attached to mother. My baby never let me off from her eyes when i reaches home , she is always with me wirrespective of the thing whether i am working in a kitchen or what. I really thanks Dr. mehrotra for such a good articel.

Name: soniq
Country: India
Comment:
Hi Very good article from Dr. Mehrotra, It gives lot of factors that a working or a non-working mother has to consider. well I say it all depends on individual needs & thinking. But the dilema still remains .

Name: nh
Country: India
Comment:
My son is 10 yrs old and we are staying in a joint family. I am carrier oriented lady and have to tour a lot. And also have no option than working due to financial situations.Though the father and grand parents take care of him, I have a guilt concious in my mind as he do not get well along with my husband or with grandparents.Many a times this makes me disturbed. Please let me know how should I go about it?

Name: ash
Country: India
Comment:
I found the site very informative,but at the same time i feel u should be more specific. like you have mentioned abt spending quality time with the child,u cd also give some suggestions on how do we as parents spend this time togethere.

Name: rs
Country: India
Comment:
the site is good,but too brief i feel.there should be some elaborations on the quality time being spent with the child.i would also like to know more on single parenting as my son has lost his father in physical as he is no more but he is present in spirits & emotions.he is 4 yrs old & it has only been 6 months since his loss,though he is getting good care & love from his grandparents but he misses me sometimes when i'm off to my office.i devoted full 3 yrs to him after his birth by leaving my job & joined another only after he was 3 yrs. he had ample time of both me & my husband till 3 yrs of age then i started working & then his dad went away.....with my job how to tackle it is my concentration

Name: zhejun
Country: USA
Comment:
The site is very good for the children and some of the story even a man can read it!

Name: A. S. Rao
Country: India
Comment:
Dr. Mehrotra has presented a very nice picture on the condition of working mother. But what I have noticed in the whole of the article she has used a "child" never children. Does this mean that working mothers prefer child rather than children or out of necessity she should go for a child rather than children. Pl. comment.

Name: Shambhavi
Country: India
Comment:
I am a working lady. I am having one son of 5 yrs.Now everyone expects us to have second child. I am confused. Can you tell me why should we go for it.

Name: vm
Country: India
Comment:
I was working before my daughter was born. Now she is 18 months old and I intend to go back to work. This article gave me an insight which enabled me to take a decision. otherwise i used to just keep thinking without results.

Name: Roopa
Country: USA
Comment:
I am a working mother. I stayed at home with my kid for a year and I proud to say I could breast-feed for a year. Both were happy until he was a year old, after that I started to get really bored. Here in America (Especially, in the bay area) you don�t have any friendly neighbors or any other adult to talk to. I started getting depressed and felt like killing myself. I had fights with my husband every day. This was not at all good for my kid. I started to look for a good place to keep him and started out with an old lady and I felt terrible, my guilt almost killed me for a year at least some times it pops up now and then. BTW, my kid is 4 and half years old now. Today I can say I am happy mother and my kid is happy and my hubby is happy. Bottom line is to keep the things in good perspective and find a way to make all of us happy. Roopa.

Name: kiran
Country: India
Comment:
iwas a working mother with a rewarding and stressful job, but have now given it up. i plan to start a daycare for children of mothers who face the kind of trouble i had in looking for quality care for my son when i went to work.quality time is definitely a great concept, but what about the effects of the unsupervised9by you) time the child spends with servants- you never can be sure of what goes on behind your back, unless the child is with known, trusted people. and domestic help, specially the younger age group is definitely not trustworthy!

Name: jyotsna
Country: India
Comment:
I feel that for a working woman , it becomes almost a neccesity to work as she is so used to going out and working. The quality of time with your child is definitely important but equally esential is the fact that the quality of relationship with your husband is also better when you areworking. When I was on leave , I would be ready to pounce on my husband nagging him because the day would leave me so tired and monotonous. When I am working I am in a more cheerful mood , am happily giving quality time to my son and husband and they are happy too.When one is at office the home problems are forgtten and when one is at home the office problems are forgotten, so one gets a vent for ones feelings. Of course this needs a supportive husband, which my husband sure is.

Name: Pratibha Singh
Country: India
Comment:
I am a working mother of two sons aged 7 months and 4 years. Each time I joined back in my office when they were just 5 months. Since then I don't have time for myself whatever time I had, has been given to kids. My elder son has been brought up in joint family with his grand parents besides that he is not very attached to his grandparents. He is very much attached to me because of the quality of love he got from me. I am proud of when my in-laws have a bet to let him sleep with them because he never sleeps with them in the adjoining room when I am also at home. Except my office hours I never let him away from me. We daily play/talk at least 4/5 hours when I listen to him carefully and replies all his queries and the releated things patiently. Now, I found that he never forget those things which I had explained him. But now with two children it's really a difficult task to work. I don't have enough time for them. But I hope that as soon as the winter is off, I will be able to devote more time with them. Now a days in Indian contest too, these sites are very useful to discuss problems and solutions of working mothers & kids.

Name: Nidhi
Country: USA
Comment:
Being a working Mom from day one since the birth of both my children this article came as a video of my thoughts. One thing which I liked most about this article was the writer emphasised on quality of time spent with the child not the quantity. I agree I do not have 24 hours for my kids but I definately would like to have good 3-4 hours with them. It is stressful to juggle but you have to do what you have to do. I rather go to work and spend quality time with kids rather than stay at home and nag them all the time. I thing which I would like to add is that we should learn to beleive in the care giver. Whether it is day care, MIL, Mom or any other service. Easier said then done. I have to lear that too. At times I wish there were 48 hours in a day.

Name: DEEPIKA
Country: India
Comment:
I am a working mother and since there is no MIL OR my mother to take care of my son (7 months) i leave him in a daycare and i find him really improving in his play and he has become more independent than before .But as you said in your opinion it is the quality of time that matters than quantity.

Name: gulshan
Country: Canada
Comment:
It is really nice article , really liked it ..in reality you can't stay home in north america unless you are really rich or husband is earning too good.., i hate the moment when i have to leave my 6 month baby to a baby sitter or 4 years crying baby can you just stay home with us today ....waht a miserable life.but using quality time really make difference..

Name: Annapurna
Country: India
Comment:
After getting up from the bed, my daughter doesn't come to me. She catch of her grand mother saree and request her to take her. I feel very bad about this. But, I can't do anything. My MIL takes care of the baby from morning till evening.

Name: Linda
Country: Malaysia
Comment:
I am a working mother, but I am great with my job and my family. Although we need to work abit harder than other, but I rather to see the happiness in family.

Name: deepa
Country: India
Comment:
I am a working mother and I feel my baby is refusing to acknowledge as soon as I come from office and it really upsets me very much. I feel he doesn't need me and love me

Name: rm
Country: India
Comment:
I am a working mother and after coming back from work I spend time with my children. Though at times I feel bad about leaving them with the maid particularly when they are sick, but its fun otherwise when I come back. I try to spend as much quality time with as possible.

Name: pallavi
Country: Dubai
Comment:
I am a "working mom". When my first daughter was born I was a housewife.Though I could spend 24 hours of the day with my baby, I soon got worked up by the drudgery and monotony of household and baby chores. This affected my moods and made me cranky. However when my second one was born I already had a good job and though at times it is quite stressfull to juggle home and job, I think The job satisfaction contributes towards my being a better mother.

Name: Aditi sen
Country: India
Comment:
I feel very guilty when I go to work. When I come back from work it seems that my baby is waiting throughout the day to see me. I just feel like crying. But I have no option.

Name: A mother
Country: USA
Comment:
I feel a mother should take care of a child in the initial years if she doesn't have family. Only family can take care of the child lovingly and daycare cannot replace it.The career can be given a pause and after sometime they can go back to work. The best babysitters definitely are the grandparents but few are lucky enough to have helpful in-laws in this matter.

Name: cnr
Country: India
Comment:
this site has some interesting articles that r suited to the indian context- and like anagha , i also would like to see some info on single parents

Name: Anagha
Country: India
Comment:
this site is really good,as it is particularly related to the indian situations.this section is interesting,but there is no information on single parenting-maybe due to death or divorce.please provide some info on that too.

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