Are you aware of the effective ways to use punishments are rewards for disciplining children. Take a look at these tips and find out right away.Reward and punishment schemes have been used by parents through the years as a form of
discipline. However, ineffective ways of using reward and
punishment often make them manipulative and contra-beneficial. Parents need to be extra careful about using rewards and punishment options so that home discipline is effectively maintained.
Talk about Punishments and Rewards
Talking about punishments and rewards is very essential as children should be made to understand the consequence of their actions. Random administration of rewards like sudden candy bars or random time outs will confuse children. It is important for children to understand that their actions are tied up to certain consequences. Once they understand this they will respect and understand the concept of rewards and punishments better.
Use Ice not Fire
Anger towards one’s kids when they are behaving inappropriately is a perfectly normal and understandable reaction. The use of anger in ways like
shouting, screaming,
hitting are completely
ineffective as forms of punishment as they hurt and traumatize the kid without even providing a clear message. Most of what the parent is trying to communicate is lost beneath the weight of angry words and gestures.
Psychiatrists advice parents to use their anger in a cold and somewhat calm way in order to communicate their angst. Talk to your children about the way they have behaved is wrong and the negative effect of their actions. Use polite but firm words to communicate your displeasure and your children will understand your emotions more effectively.
Follow Up on Words
Words who are not accompanied by actions soon become ineffective and meaningless. Children soon learn to disregard promises of rewards and talks about punishment if the parent does not fulfill them.
It is important to act exactly as you said you would if you want the reward and punishment scheme to work. For example, if you have said that your child will get a timeout for shouting then when the unpleasant circumstance arises you have to stick to giving a timeout despite the protests and tears of your kids. Similarly if you have promised to take your child to the movies after an exceptionally well behaved week then do live up to your promise. This is the only way in which you can make your reward and punishment schemes effective.
Apologize for Your Own Misbehavior
In case you sometimes slip up on your own prescribed code of behaviour do not hesitate in apologizing. If you shout at your children say that you were wrong in doing so and doors for a healthier and constructive discussion might open up. When you accept responsibility for your own mistakes your children learn to apologize too and then there will be less need for enforcing discipline by punitive methods.
Use a Long Term View
Unfortunately discipline is often perceived by parents in a punitive way where timeouts, snatching away benefits and other acts are used as a form of punishment. However, punitive actions are mostly based on fear and fear always works only on the short term.
Modelling positive behaviour or giving out choices for actions work better when it comes to enforcing discipline in the long term. For example, even when your kids shout or talk rudely to you maintain an equivocal and calm tone of voice while saying “this is not the way we talk in this house”. Or when enforcing tasks, say “I can help you do your homework now or you will have to do it later all by yourself”.
Children behave themselves better when they are allowed to follow by example or when they are allowed to choose from logical actions. Therefore, it is essential to understand the psychology of children and make use of punishments and rewards accordingly.
How to use punishments and rewards effectively? Is it possible to discipline children without punishing them? What are the ways parents can follow to avoid taking out anger on kids? Discuss here.